The Girlfriend Experience

by Rebecca Dakin

  I once saw a guy whose wife had ME. She knew he was seeing an escort, he even said it was her idea. It was very surreal because she kept calling him, and he told her about me on the phone! In her situation, I would have been jealous and I’m sure she was, but wouldn’t hearing all about me just make it worse? It was bizarre. We were on an overnight date and had been out for dinner. She must have called about four times – once, when I’d just arrived, when she asked what I was like (I was half-expecting him to hand me the phone!), once after dinner, then after we’d had sex, and then first thing in the morning! I wouldn’t want to know when my husband was with an escort; if I was in that situation, I’d want him to be discreet. This poor lady tortured herself, and it made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

  Many women don’t want to give their men oral sex, but they’re happy to receive it. Come on, ladies, no wonder these guys look elsewhere for entertainment! If you’ve not given your guy a blow job in the last month, I suggest you do so tonight!

  The ones I feel most uncomfortable with are the guys who think they’re being clever by seeing escorts, who almost brag about their infidelity. It’s not big, and it’s not clever, and I think sometimes they forget that I’m a woman, too.

  Being someone who says what I think, I find it very difficult to keep my mouth shut in that sort of situation. I don’t mind if people discreetly go and make a call to their wife, but once, when I first started escorting and I wasn’t my assertive self, I had to take a pizza into the bathroom to eat while the guy made a call to his wife in the room. How rude is that? Why he couldn’t have gone into the bathroom himself, I’ve no idea. Other times, guys don’t even leave the room – they call their wives while looking at me and winking. It makes me want to slap them round the face or kick them in the balls! ‘I’m just having an early night, darling’… Wink, wink.

  I had one guy excitedly telling me about all his lies. Apparently he’d said he was in Manchester watching football when we were actually in London. He called his wife when we were out, and he looked at me with this cheeky face and winked as he said, ‘Yes, I’m on my way to the football now.’ Throughout the whole conversation he kept looking at me, smiling and winking. I just looked away, making it clear I wasn’t amused, because I couldn’t believe what he was doing. That morning he told me how he’d have to check the weather in Manchester, and he’d have to find out who’d scored goals and whether there’d been any penalties. He eagerly told me all of this while I lay in bed. I bit my tongue and tried to contain my anger. He said, ‘Oh, I’ll stop now – I can see I’m boring you.’ ‘Yes,’ I said, in a bored tone, my eyes still closed. He thought he was so clever. I hope he eventually gets caught out.

  Another time I’d been booked for a lunch date in Newcastle. After we dined in the hotel, we went to the room for a couple of hours. It was Valentine’s Day and he told me he’d be going back to the same hotel room that evening, with his wife. What a prick! He even rang the hotel when we were out to ask if they could change the towels and put a bottle of champagne on ice for later! That guy was definitely having a mid-life crisis. His poor wife!

  Although I know men love suspenders, and I do think they look very sexy, I don’t enjoy wearing them because they’re so damn uncomfortable, so I don’t keep any as part of my lingerie collection. I told one guy I’d seen before that if he bought me some suspenders, I would bring some stockings and wear them for him. When we met, he pulled out this tatty suspender belt. I held it up distastefully, and inquired where it was from. ‘Janet Reger,’ he claimed. Unbelievable! ‘Really?’ I asked again. ‘Yes,’ he reiterated. ‘And it’s new, is it? You bought it especially for me to wear?’ I asked, wondering if he’d continue his obvious lies. ‘Yes,’ he said, ‘I thought you’d like it.’ I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. ‘Since when has Janet Reger been using safety pins to keep her lingerie together? This tatty thing has come from your wife’s underwear drawer, hasn’t it? Please tell me you didn’t buy her this tatty old thing, because it looks like you got it from a cheap market stall!’ I threw it in the bin and told him it was no good for anyone.

  Would you believe there are some guys who avoid penetrative sex because they actually convince themselves they’re not cheating if they don’t go that far? That’s what Bill Clinton maintained, isn’t it? Most men have double standards. They think it’s OK to see escorts and don’t believe it’s classed as cheating, but of course they wouldn’t want their wives to see a male escort, and they mostly believe their women wouldn’t have the nerve to do such a thing. They assume that if their wives won’t have sex with them, they wouldn’t want sex with anyone at all. It doesn’t occur to them that perhaps they’re simply no longer physically attracted to them. Generally, I think women have to be stimulated mentally before they can be stimulated physically, so if they’re not ‘getting along’ with their husband or partner, they won’t feel like having sex.

  There are lots of reasons why men see escorts, but over the years I’ve begun to notice patterns. A few years ago, as a bit of a laugh, I decided to come up with some categories for my clients and now, after each date I try and work out which group they fall into. This is what I’ve come up with so far. Does any of it sound familiar? First, I divide my guys into three age categories: 18–30, 30–40 and over-40s. Then, by analysing the sneaky (or sometimes not quite so sneaky) little clues they give away, I try and work out what kind of person they are and what kind of job they do. Read on:

  18–30

  (a) Guys looking for no-strings sex and companionship. They tend to be single guys, who are young and experienced, or guys who are a bit geeky and unsociable, or who have no confidence with women. Sometimes they’re virgins, looking confidence with women. Sometimes they’re virgins, looking year-old virgin, Charly, is a good example: a really sweet guy, but he was totally shitting himself.

  (b) Arrogant guys who get a buzz out of the fact that they can hire people for sex. They may be single, married or have girlfriends, but consider themselves a bit of a player. They tend to be rich and successful, always super-confident. They don’t struggle to find women to sleep with them, but they get off on paying for it and the fact it’s 100 per cent no-strings attached. My friend Nas is a classic example.

  (c) Clingy guys who are looking for a girlfriend and believe their paid date with an escort might blossom into a genuine relationship. They are nearly always single and usually get way too attached. Remember the guys who email me to ask tons of questions, but then get offended when I explain that I am looking for clients, not friends? Nightmare!

  30–40

  (a) Guys who get a bit lonely at home, who enjoy having a regular lady to see. They tend to be married and are often happy in their marriage, but have decided to see escorts because they don’t feel they get enough attention from their wife.

  (b) Guys who have had a bit of a mid-life crisis and need something to pick them up and make them feel attractive again. Often they use lots of different escorts. They get a real buzz from believing that someone really enjoys having sex with them, but they tend to become a bit obsessed with it all and get addicted to the review sites. These guys refer to seeing escorts as their ‘hobby’.

  (c) Guys who are really busy and don’t have time to socialise. They are always single and normally pretty damn wealthy. A lot of them are good catches, but they don’t want the complications that you get with a normal relationship. Remember sexy Simon with his Bentley? When I first met him (before he let himself go), I’d have considered paying him for a bit of time!

  (d) The older breed of single guy, looking for a girlfriend. Some can be very sweet – like my Harry Potter date – but again, you have to watch out, as they can sometimes get a bit obsessed.

  (e) Older, single guys lacking confidence. You tend to get fewer of these in this age group (most people have lost their virginity by the time they hit 30!). Believe me, they do exist, though. These guys are normally a pleasure to date. Remember the amazing guy I met who couldn’t w
alk and had a stutter?

  Over-40s

  (a) Guys who like to be seen with attractive ladies. It’s a strange phenomenon, but a lot of them get a real kick out of it, even if it is only complete strangers who see them. Guys like this have often been divorced and tend to have one regular lady. Twice-divorced Gerry is a prime example.

  (b) Older guys who need a bit of a pick-me-up. Like the similar, younger group of men, they get a buzz from seeing a variety of women and are really addicted to the fantasy of being with an escort. They make up a large proportion of the forum and review sites – escorting can be a strange, surreal world, you know.

  (c) Guys seeking a bit of companionship and affection because their wives refuse to give it to them at home. They have been married for a very long time and love their wives, but there’s no intimacy. Women can be strange creatures: suddenly they’ll decide they’re not interested in love and affection, and they expect their husbands to be happy with this. It’s not always sex that the guys crave, often they just long to hug and kiss their wives. Sometimes men stay in a loveless marriage because of the financial costs involved in getting divorced, and obviously some couples decide to stay together for their children. (d) Guys who like the idea of being with a young, sexy woman. They are always obsessed with my body – one guy just couldn’t stop groping my breasts and going on about my tight bum. They simply love the fact that a hot young woman is spending time with them. Again, they tend to get wrapped up in the whole escort package – writing on forums, reviewing girls, having their say in chat rooms… Remember the guy who bragged about all the ‘hot’ conquests he’d had while I was away?

  I rely on AA.com to get me to any destinations I don’t know. Everyone asks why I don’t get satellite navigation . Well, there are many reasons. First, I really don’t like driving anyway. Second, I hate technology (only because I don’t understand it and haven’t the patience for it). And third, would I rather spend £200 on a piece of technology or a pair of Guccis? The shoes win , hands down . Also, because of my knees, it’s uncomfortable to drive for longer than about an hour, so I mostly catch the train .

  The hotel I went to last night, I hadn’t been to before. AA.com told me it would take me 19 minutes, so I allowed half an hour. I was meeting Richard for a two-hour date. He left me a voicemail a couple of days ago, asking me to call him back at 11am, so I did, on the dot! He was quite impressed by that, but I’m always punctual. When we made the arrangement, I asked if I should call him on my way, as I didn’t want him to worry that I wouldn’t turn up. ‘No, I shall be as nervous as hell!’ he exclaimed, and added, ‘Just turn up, it’ll be fine.’

  When people don’t mention what they’d like me to wear and we’re not going out of the room, I always go smart/casual, so last night I wore a knee -length flowery sunflower-print skirt, a black gypsy top and some black heels, for a summer look. I was following my directions to the letter, but after 20 minutes or so, I realised I was heading into town the back way. We were due to meet at eight, and I really wanted to be on time, especially after him being so impressed with me calling him on the dot. Little did I know, he was having a nightmare of his own and was worrying that I’d be on time because he wanted me to be late!

  I pulled over and called him to explain that I was lost, apologised and said I’d be late. Then I called the hotel for better directions and set off again . I was only about ten minutes away, so would be ten minutes late, but I hate being even one minute late, honestly! Ideally I like to be ten minutes early.

  When I arrived, it took me a while to find a parking space. He’d left clear instructions on how to get to the room, as it was one of those hotels where you have to walk for miles once inside the building. I’d forgotten the room number and so I called him again: ‘501, is it?’ ‘No, 510!’ He sounded panicked. I finally found it; phew, what a palaver! Richard had a warm, friendly face, glasses, a little short moustache and lots of tattoos on his forearms, but his dress was smart. I would say he was in his late fifties, early sixties. He offered me a glass of wine from the bottle he’d brought with him.

  He was really lovely and sweet – even though there was a two-seater sofa, he perched on the bed. This gave us a bit of space and certainly made me feel more comfortable. He was very nervous, and then explained that just as he was ready to meet me, he realised he hadn’t been to the bank and didn’t have any money. So, he dashed downstairs and the hotel’s machine told him he’d already had his daily limit, which meant he had to take his car and find somewhere he could get some more. It certainly gave him something to talk about when I arrived and I’m sure talking about this bit of drama helped him relax.

  He then said he had to call his wife. As usual, my heart sank and I thought a bit less of him ; he said he’d never booked an escort before and I did believe him. At this point, he didn’t offer me the money, but it didn’t matter – I’m not too strict with being paid ten minutes into the appointment, unless I think I might not get paid at all. Usually, I wait until I’ve been to freshen up, which is what I did.

  We chatted for about 45 minutes about his work, his house… come to think of it, he never asked about me; I think on this occasion it was nerves. Eventually I got my candles out and asked if we could get the business bit out of the way. I asked him about my website and he said he’d found it very helpful and loved my photos. He asked if I minded his tattoos, and I said I didn’t. He apologised, and said he should have checked with me if I was OK with it. It was very sweet of him to mention them, but I told him they were fine.

  He kept thanking me for visiting him and saying how beautiful I was. If only I could find a boyfriend who appreciated my beauty and complimented me! We kissed and he was gentle – perfect – and as I teased my tongue lightly in his mouth, he commented that I had a wicked tongue. I’ve never been told that before – I liked it. I looked into his eyes and gave him a naughty look, gently biting my lower lip, and then I pulled him towards the bed to lie down. Eye contact is very important, not just for conversation , but for intimate moments. It’s no good me trying to avoid eye contact so that I can imagine I’m with Brad Pitt. For guys, part of the fantasy is the idea that you want them and are hungry for them. It’s a massive turn -on for them to feel that a stunning woman is hungry for their body.

  On the bed it transpired he was a ‘bum man – a legs and bum man ,’ as he said. He unzipped my skirt and I slipped it off. ‘Wow,’ he kept saying, ‘wow!’ I’d been slowly teasing the buttons on his shirt undone. This can be quite fiddly if you’re trying to kiss someone at the same time and be all sensual! He took off his shirt and trousers too, so I pulled off my top. He lay beside me and admired my belly button ring, before gently turning me on my front so he could nibble my neck and stroke my back ; it felt gorgeous.

  He stroked my back and over my bum, and unhooked my bra . I straddled him and felt his erection through my panties. I leaned forward to kiss him and my hair fell over his face. He gently sucked each of my nipples and I licked up his neck, nibbled his ears, and then ran my tongue down his body to his briefs. I curled my tongue under the rim of the pants, at the top waistband and underneath, making sure I caught a little of his erect penis, before pulling them down and taking them off.

  He said he hadn’t been with a woman for so long. His wife was ill and he hadn’t had sex or even kissed her properly for over a year. Again , he specifically mentioned that he missed the kissing, and for some guys I think they miss this more than the sex. After the initial disappointment of him cheating on his wife, he went back up in my estimation as I realised that he was just missing being close to someone.

  I took him in my mouth and sucked the tip of his large penis. I looked up at him, but he was lost in the moment, so I carried on. I knew he probably wouldn’t last long if he hadn’t had sex for over a year so after a few minutes I lay next to him and let him remove my panties and lick me. He did this for a few minutes before I went back down on him. After a few minutes, I asked if he’d like me to get a cond
om. ‘I think you’d better,’ was the reply, so I reached over to my little bag, pulled one out and slipped it on, sucking it once the condom was on to keep him erect as I lowered myself on top of him. Even though I was on top, he was thrusting and it felt pretty damn good. I tried to move with him, but it was actually better when I didn’t, so I let him do all the work. He started shuddering and making all sorts of noises. I buried my face in his neck – I didn’t want to look at him for fear of killing the moment by laughing, which I probably would have done if his facial expressions matched the strange noises! It sounded like one hell of an orgasm – I was quite jealous, actually.

  I slowly dismounted and left him to sort himself out. Please don’t flush the condom, I thought, but he did. What is it with guys? I guess around 99% of the ones I see try to flush condoms down the loo. Don’t they know they’re not biodegradable? If I remember, I often ask them not to flush. One of the few guys I’ve seen that didn’t took his sperm filled condom home to fill it with water – he said it was to check it didn’t leak. Like I might have pierced it, wanting to get pregnant or give him some horrible disease!

  We lay for the next 20 minutes chatting, and he kept thanking me, saying I really didn’t know how much it meant to him for me to see him. He was so sweet. Next time he promised me dinner!

  CHAPTER 19:

  Boyfriend number three – Steve