Age is not something that bothers me. In fact, give me a man in his sixties over a 30-year-old any day! They’re generally more respectful, less demanding, and they want to please me too, so I didn’t think I had an age limit. The biggest age gap I’ve had was when I was 26 and saw a doctor who was 69. However, a year or so ago I took a call from a well-spoken gentleman who sounded really elderly on the phone. He wanted to arrange just dinner, but he kept saying he was too old for me. I wasn’t sure how old he was, and I didn’t want to ask, so we arranged to meet for a two-hour lunch.
I arrived in the restaurant and saw this really old, but sweetlooking, overweight man hobbling towards me. It was him. He was lovely, and turned out to be one of the most interesting guys I’ve ever met, but he was in his early 90s! He had just written a book that had been published about his time in the Army during the war, and had brought a copy along with him. He spoke about the book and even had a photo of himself with Winston Churchill; he was so funny and had lots of interesting stories to tell – for once I didn’t mind someone just talking about themselves, I was mesmerised listening to him. He said to me that he had never made love with a woman he hadn’t been in love with, and then he said, ‘I think I’m falling in love with you!’ I found that highly amusing, so that’s how he would justify sleeping with an escort. Bless him!
He asked whether he should book a hotel for our next meeting. I replied that although I thought he was a lovely guy, I wouldn’t feel comfortable. I mean, what if he died on me? I know he would have died happy, but I would be horrified. Can you imagine explaining that one at the hotel? And think of the police calling his family! I don’t think he would have been able to get it up anyway – he probably hadn’t tried for a long time and just assumed he was still in working order. If he was, then good for him! I said I would be more than happy to book a date with him again and just have dinner, and that I would be happy to charge him a significantly lower rate, but I knew he probably wouldn’t agree, and he hasn’t contacted me since. I wonder if he ever found a lady to accommodate him.
One embarrassing time, when I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole, was when I met a lovely gentleman for an extended overnight date, which included a concert. It was a last-minute arrangement, but he was very sweet. We dined early at a pre-theatre dinner venue, and after a very tasty meal, we enjoyed the concert and retired to the hotel. As I’ve said before, I always look for signs that the gentleman is freshly showered, so when I went to the bathroom I was troubled to see no sign of an overnight bag. I brushed my teeth and felt irritated that he wouldn’t bother to do the same; I tried to be tactful in the clumsy way that I am – I said I was nice and fresh, and had just brushed my teeth, then asked whether he’d like to brush his. When he said ‘no’, I was horrified, and I could feel myself losing patience. I asked him again, ‘Don’t you ever brush your teeth?’ ‘No,’ he replied. I was furious and couldn’t believe what I was hearing; I proceeded to rant about how disgusting he was.
He looked increasingly uncomfortable. ‘I haven’t got any teeth,’ came the gummy reply. I was mortified. Me and my big mouth! We’d been out all evening – he’d even eaten steak – and I hadn’t noticed. I have met old people previously who have had teeth, but they’ve not been visible when they speak and I assumed he was one of those. ‘Oh,’ I tried to say as casually and calmly as possible, ‘why don’t you get false ones?’ He explained that he used to have them, but he was once out on a date and the teeth fell out onto his plate; ever since then, he didn’t trust them to stay in! Which is understandable, I suppose. I tried to make it up to him in bed and give him a pleasurable time, but I still felt really silly. That was a memorable date – for all the wrong reasons!
CHAPTER 26:
What now?
So, what do I want to do once my escorting career is over? I still lack confidence in my personal life, so maybe I’m not totally over the bullying I endured when I was younger; I always doubt myself and my decisions. I’m getting better, but I still have a long way to go.
People tell me I’d be good at counselling and friends appreciate the advice I give them. I love to help and advise people. I’d love to have an ‘Agony Aunt’ page in a magazine like Cosmopolitan, giving people relationship and sex advice based on the things I’ve learnt as an escort.
I went to see a counsellor myself for a few months because I was convinced there was something wrong with me, but he didn’t think so, and I realised I was being far too hard on myself. I’m a perfectionist, which means that I focus on all my bad points and don’t look at the good. I’ve still a way to go, but I’m getting there, and doing Aikido is improving my self-confidence.
I’ve always had a lot of empathy. It upsets me to see people upset, whether I know them or not. I don’t read the newspapers or watch the news very often as I’ll cry because I put myself in other people’s shoes and imagine their pain and suffering. I also cry at films very easily, whether it’s a sad or a romantic ending. Anything to do with romance makes me cry with happiness. I know, sad, isn’t it? I love hearing stories from friends who are happy couples and I get especially emotional when I go to weddings; I suppose because I really want someone to love me that much and to want to marry me.
Being at work is an escape from my personal life, which can be full of ups and downs. I’m a worrier – I think too much about things and occasionally I let things get on top of me. I worry about time constantly: being late, or that I’m wasting time. At work I know exactly how I expect to be treated, and I’m confident with what I find acceptable and unacceptable.
When I was eight, I wanted to be a fashion designer. By the time I was 18, I knew it wasn’t to be – I wasn’t prepared to put the effort in at college. Sometimes I wonder if I suffered a mild form of Attention Deficit Disorder, not wanting to sit in a classroom and learn. If I could talk my way informally through a college course with no writing, I’d be a grade A student! Ever since I left my degree I’ve not known what I wanted to do with my life. Being very into fashion and good with people, I think I’d make a great personal shopper.
I envy people who are settled and happy in their careers. At various times in my life, I’ve spent hours trying to think what I’d like to do. I know I couldn’t work in an office – I get bored easily and would need to do a job where there were challenges and some travel; I’d also have to work with people. Ideally, it would be my own company, one that’s nothing to do with escorting, but what it might be, I haven’t decided yet.
Many ladies get trapped in the world of escorting. They want to get out because they feel they’ve been doing it too long, but they’re lost souls, not exactly sure how to move on. We get used to earning a certain amount of money, and then when we try to
What now? think what else we could do to bring in the same amount of capital with the same amount of flexibility, we come unstuck. What can you do without training or qualifications? I can’t see me going back to being a student, but maybe I would, if only I had a clear idea what I wanted to do.
Some ladies with degrees and even higher qualifications still choose to escort. For some, it’s the buzz of sleeping with different men, and the lifestyle that goes with it. Others maybe can’t find a job even with their qualifications, so they start escorting while they look for work and they enjoy it so much that they carry on.
Those savvy enough save their money rather than squandering it on expensive handbags and shoes, and either set up their own businesses or buy into property or shares. I’m sorry to say that I’ve never really saved much money, which I regret now, but I do have my own property so I have something to show for all my hard work. I’m very careful with my money now, but there’s not so much work around as there was years ago. The market is becoming saturated. More and more ladies are turning to escorting, so there’s more choice, and there has been a steady rise in the number of ladies from Eastern Europe coming to the UK, many of whom are undercutting the standard UK rates, so men expect more and want to pay les
s.
Escorting becomes a way of life, and it’s all I’ve known. I haven’t had a ‘proper’ job for ten years, and I’ve worked for myself for nine years now. I don’t know if I could work for someone else, because I’m so used to doing things my way and working when I want. What kind of job can I do? I’m always told that I’d be a good PA and that I’m good with people. Even so, how many people would offer me a job if they saw ‘high-class escort for eight years’ on my CV? How many would look at the positive qualities that I need to have for escorting? Empathy, an ability to mix and communicate with people in all levels of society and to make people feel comfortable quickly, they’re all skills I need in my work. I’m a good organiser and have to be disciplined. Also, I’m a good listener and a good talker, but would people see past the ‘escort’? Somehow I doubt it!
Eventually I’d love to build my confidence up enough to try being a presenter on TV. I don’t take myself too seriously, and most of my friends think I’d be really good at it. I’d like to do something like Street Date – a project that involves getting out and about, interacting with different people on a mission, rather than standing in front of a big audience. That would terrify me! Being interested in people and psychology I am a massive reality T.V fan, so maybe I could do a reality show, and try and train up a ‘wannabe’ escort from a bunch of hopefuls? Or be like a Supernanny for relationships, visiting couples at home to help them sort out their problems? Perhaps I’ll do a fly on the wall documentary showing how I integrate back into ‘normal’ society. One thing I am gutted to be missing out on is the chance to be on Richard and Judy’s book club promoting my book! I’ve been a big fan of theirs, and was so disappointed when they stopped their show.
I’m keen to start a new chapter in my life and who knows where this book will take me? I’d love to be successful at another business before having children. As I’m one of four, I’d like a big family, and I’m conscious of my biological clock ticking! I’ve made some wonderful friends and had some amazing experiences, but I’m 33 now, and it’s time to sort my life out!
Any suggestions or job offers, please email me! [email protected]
CHAPTER 27:
Thoughts from friends and family
Sensei Ken
Beki walked into my office in Jan 2006. Her appointment was to last for about an hour, after which she would be invited to make a potentially life-changing decision.
My name is Ken, or Sensei as many people call me. I am a professional Martial Arts teacher, and I own a full-time school in Nottingham that teaches Aikido. A Japanese martial art, which although often described as nonviolent, Aikido is the choice of military and police forces worldwide as a system of personal safety. The main focus of my school is life skills and personal safety and awareness. I have over 340 students from all ages and all walks of life.
This confident, pretty young blonde girl didn’t quite fit the mould of most of the people who cross my threshold to embark on the way of the warrior. The path to Black Belt is a path fraught with trial and hardship, often literally a journey of blood, sweat and tears, and in my school if you start, I want to see you finish. Sadly, many fall before they complete this first step to Black Belt.
I never judge a book by its cover, but it’s human nature to make a few assessments on first meetings. Looking at the long, manicured nails I couldn’t help but wonder if this slight young lady would have what it takes. Still, if she was up for it, then as her teacher, I would do whatever it takes to get her there. As a routine part of the induction interview, I asked her what she did for a living. ‘I run my own business,’ she replied. I was impressed, not an easy thing to do, especially for someone so young. So naturally, I asked her what the nature of her business was. Without hesitation, and totally unperturbed, she replied that she was an escort.
Being a martial artist for over 30 years, and having spent 22 years in the military travelling the world, I have seen a few things and have been in a few interesting situations, so it’s not often I am stopped in my tracks, but Beki did just that, albeit for just a moment, but it seemed like way too long for me. I certainly didn’t want her to think me rude, so I quickly mustered a response. The thing that caused me to pause a second was not what she did, but how confidently she told me. I was impressed for the second time. I think my reply to her statement was, ‘Wow, that’s cool, how interesting.’ Then I thought, ‘Well good for you!’ She asked me not to tell anyone else in the school as some people may think less of her because of it. I was pleased that clearly she trusted me, and offered that trust for, as yet, nothing in return. Maybe she could do this Aikido thing, after all.
I was a little surprised when she told me that the self-defence skills we teach here was not the drive behind her walking through the door – rather, she wanted confidence. Now I felt a little confused. I don’t know too much about the escort profession, but I would have thought personal safety was essential and she didn’t look like she needed confidence. It turned out Beki knew exactly what she was looking for.
Beki has been with me for over two and a half years now and has her second Kyu belt. Her Black Belt test should happen in about 18 months or so. If she tests on time, it will have taken her four years or so to get to Black Belt, which is about average. For those that can go the distance, that is – many don’t make it even to Brown Belt. She has been both one of my best students and also one of my most challenging. Out of the ‘blood, sweat and tears’ thing, the tears are winning hands-down. It’s been a challenge for me to coach Beki to where I need her to be; to change her thinking and to find the fighter in this girly girl. But the fighter is there. Beki just doesn’t quit, she just keeps going in spite of the frustration she often feels. The one-on-one coaching sessions in my office – just Beki, me and a box of tissues – are becoming rare. She is growing, and becoming stronger and more confident all the time. Sometimes it’s two steps forward, one step back, but we are moving forward, that’s the main thing. The future is never certain and we have a way to go yet, but I think she has got what it takes. She has needed help, but in the end she has shown the courage and determination to get this far. I think she will make it to Black Belt, and beyond.
I have absolutely no issue at all with Beki’s chosen profession. Over the years, my partner and I have established a friendship with Beki outside the dojo. She is a warm and friendly person, intelligent and honest, and is giving her training everything she has. What more could you ask of someone? Like any of my students, I would do anything to help her in time of need, or if called upon to do so. Your profession, doctor, lawyer, escort, builder, etc. has no bearing at all in my book. Who you are is what is important to me.
Pete, my brother
I don’t remember you telling me you were going to work as an escort – you sort of drifted into it. I do, however, remember thinking it was a good way to get some quick money, get on the property ladder, and get some finance for the next step – whatever that might have been. I think escorting is similar to prostitution, and that some clients may see it as a more acceptable form of prostitution with less risk. Obviously, though, you choose the clients you want. You have led a very different life and are used to a very different lifestyle to the rest of us, which can alienate both you and the rest of the family, but I’m not really embarrassed about your job. I tell people what you do, but I don’t go any further into it. I’m not sure how years of escorting will affect any future career or prepare you for anything else; I didn’t expect what I thought was a quick way for you to earn some good money to turn into such a lengthy ‘career’.
I think you have been used to the lifestyle for so long that it is what you expect now, and that will not change. Seeing as you went into it at such an early age, it’s really all I’ve known you as and I have no doubt that it has affected you as a person, but who knows what you would be like, had you done something different with your life? Maybe better, maybe worse – we’ll never know. I think the rest of the family share similar views to me, but y
ou are my sister and I love you for better, for worse.
My friend and ex-boyfriend Keith I’ve known Bec since I was 16, and she was 15. I remember the first time I saw her in Matlock Park – she caught my eye as she was wearing Levis that were ripped across both bum cheeks, exposing her bum. She certainly stood out from the crowd and I remember thinking, wow! I couldn’t believe my luck when I found out she fancied me.
We went out with each other initially for three months, but saw each other on and off for about four years. I soon realised that she was mature far beyond her years. She seemed to know what she wanted, and how to get it. She wasn’t your stereotypical clueless 15-year-old girl, she was very much one of the lads. I remember watching porn with my mates and their girlfriends would be there, as was Bec. All the girls would make a real fuss about the porn, and Bec would always love watching it. I thought she seemed sexually and emotionally advanced beyond her years.
I remember long pauses in our casual relationship as she was away at college and university for three years, and when she was home she was often up and down the country, going to various raves and parties. She was always very sociable and loved meeting new people.
I hadn’t been in touch with her for a while as she started a long-term relationship with James. I heard on the grapevine they were no longer going out, so I rang her out of the blue as I was curious what adventures she had been up to. I asked her where she was. She told me she was at Derby station and she seemed a little apprehensive as she paused and said she wasn’t sure if I’d want to be friends with her anymore once she confessed where she was going – which was on an escort job. My initial thought was that I wasn’t surprised as she’d always been a bit wild, but I did feel a twinge of jealousy and was concerned for her safety as she confessed she hadn’t seen the guy she was meeting before. It didn’t change my opinion of her and I knew I still wanted us to be friends.
The Girlfriend Experience Page 30