You seemed to conduct your business in a rather tactful way and I always thought you made it appear very normal and nothing to fuss about! Because you treated it like that in our company, I guess we just accepted it like that.
I don’t think you have gone down in anyone’s estimation within the family, saving maybe your grandparents. Because of the era that they were brought up in, they would have found the situation difficult, not least because of their love for you. One always wants the best for those you love, so those closest to you would have found it very difficult to accept initially. Even in this modern world we live in, old-fashioned values still hold true.
We would love you to meet someone, fall in love and live happily ever after with a lovely man, but the trouble is a lovely man probably wouldn’t want you with your history, and so I think we all worry that ultimately you will lose out in some way. Emotional enrichment is a very satisfying and uplifting state to find oneself in and I feel sad that you may never experience it now.
You come from a very stable and loving family background and I think it is to their credit too that you have remained so normal. They never shut you out when they found out about your job, and from what I have observed, they have always been there as a safety net for you whenever you have needed it. You have a very good relationship with them all and I know you have treated your mother a lot, which I think is lovely of you.
Jenny
I first met Beki at the Aikido Christmas night out in 2006; we ended up sitting opposite each other. Although I was not near the people I knew from my classes, we had a good laugh. Aikido nights out are always a bit wild as there is a certain level of trust already established – just lots of drinking and having a laugh. We ended up in Oceana and all the girls were dancing. The girls I was friendlier with decided to leave for another party – Beki persuaded me to stay out with her and I was definitely not ready to go home just yet!
We had a great time, dancing the night away and having a good laugh. It later turned out that this was the night she told some of the girls what she did for a living. I must have been somewhere else at the time, as this is something I would not have forgotten!! I didn’t see Beki for a while after that night. It was a few months later, on another Aikido night out, when we got talking again and we got on really well. I asked her what she did for a living as part of general conversation. She mumbled something back, and I got the feeling she did not want to tell me, so left it there.
I was given a lift home by another friend, and asked her if she knew what Beki did for a living, because something was bugging me – she was beautiful and glamorous, always dressed immaculately. And being a girl with an eye for beautiful things such as shoes, jewellery and handbags, I had to ask. Although this all sounds very superficial, I already knew she was such a great person! We swapped numbers that night and we have become increasing close ever since.
When I confessed to knowing what Beki did, she thought I already knew. We have clicked as friends and I love her being in my life for who she is – a fabulous person and a great friend; we share some similar feelings derived from things that have happened in our lives such as childhood bullying, boys/men not finding us attractive (when now we’re actually probably some of the best looking girls around, not to blow our own trumpets!). I find her professional life interesting as it is the opposite of what I do – Human Resources and Payroll – and is something I had not much idea about before I met Beki. I’ve learned a lot from Beki on a personal level; she has helped me through various difficulties in my life recently, and I am so grateful for that. Beki is one of the most special and giving people I know and I look forward to many more memorable times in our, hopefully, long future as friends!
Nat
I first met Beki when I was 15. She knew a friend of mine and we were going into Matlock one morning and Beki (at that time, 17) and a mate of hers had been out raving and were sat on a bench looking very cool and chilled out, and tired.
We said hello, and that was about it. We first met properly when I was 16, and I was on my lunch break from work, sat alone in the park, and I think Beki was doing the same. We started talking, and the main topic was how much we loved going out, and started talking about Chesterfield on a Thursday night; we made loose plans to arrange to go together some time. Beki came into the pharmacy where I worked later that day and said, ‘Fancy going tonight?’ Which we did. I remember being sat in the bus on the back seat and we just talked and laughed, and it was as if I’d known her for ages. I’m fairly sure I’m not the only person to think this.
This ability to get on with people is one of the reasons she is a good escort, in my opinion. We became very good friends and shared a love of dancing, hardcore, boys and generally having a laugh. It was Beki, being two years older than me, who first took me to the Doncaster Warehouse, which was one of the coolest underground clubs back in the day. We have been clubbing all over, including Derby, Nottingham, Manchester, Leicester, Sheffield, and we always had an amazing time.
When Beki first told me she had been working as an escort I wasn’t shocked as she had always been pretty wild. I was intrigued and wanted to know more, of course, and I also found it a bit funny, and maybe I was a bit envious… thinking ‘Oh my God, you’re earning HOW MUCH MONEY?!’ As we have been good friends for a long time, I have heard all about the good and the bad and the ugly, and devour the details with relish. I suppose now it’s been a good few years, I probably ask less and less, and will have the normal conversation like, ‘How’s work?’ etc., but not go into detail. It’s just a job, after all! Well, that’s how I see it now.
Has it changed her? Well, I would say she is now more assertive and particular. That may come with getting older as we all develop better ideas of what we want and don’t want.
I don’t think it’s affected her self-image or confidence at all. In fact, I think if anything, she is probably more confident. The only way it affects our friendship is if we make arrangements and it’s made clear that they could be cancelled due to work, which can be disheartening at first, but actually it’s never happened so it’s not affected anything at all so far.
This is one of the world’s oldest professions and why not? If it doesn’t affect a person in a negative way, I do not see the problem. I will add that the way Beki runs her business is impeccable and I know that she wouldn’t put herself in any danger.... I do realise the other end of the scale can be a whole lot darker, however.
Mum
Rebecca was always a bit of a rebel in her early teenage years; she had a focused determination to fulfil dreams that for most young girls are just dreams. As parents you can have certain control over your children and hope to instil discipline through love and care; however, as they begin to grow up, this can become more difficult. You cannot lock a child away from the world they are to grow up in – all you can try and achieve, by being open and honest, is for them to learn the difference between right and wrong, how to behave in society and to instil a sense of responsibility, confidence and pride in themselves. You hope that they will use their talents to forge a path towards a successful career in which they will be happy, fulfilled and contented.
Rebecca had, and still has, such creative talent – but when she decided (and was determined!) to go dancing instead of finishing her university degree, I was concerned at the route she seemed to be taking. I suppose it came as no real surprise, after a very naïve beginning on that route, she ended up working as an escort. I was saddened by her choice of career (if that’s what you call it?) – I felt she was worthy of something better; something that did not mean she was selling herself. I did feel some relief when she made it clear (after investigating all the options of escorting) that she knew the clientele she was hoping to attract and that she would always leave the details of her work with us. I think my main concern was her safety; in that line of work, there must be an element of risk.
I cannot say that I was happy with her choice of career – I felt her artistic talent,
her organisational skills and her charm could have led elsewhere. However, we all make our own choices in life, and maybe any other choice she might have considered would not have given her so many diverse, exciting and adventurous experiences.
CHAPTER 28:
Top tips for GFE escorts
To be a good GFE escort you need to be: Attentive and a good listener
Giving your date your full attention is extremely important. They need to feel that you are interested and focused on them. I know of ladies who are constantly glancing around to see who is looking at them, watching to see how many admiring looks they get. I just think that’s rude. I treat people with the same respect I would like myself. My eyes are focused on the gentleman I am with. I listen, ask questions and generally show an interest in them.
A good talker
Many men are very shy, especially with someone attractive. You need to be able to lead the conversation and avoid it drying up. There should be no awkward silences. Basic conversation starters for me include, first how their day has been, what they do for a living, how far they have travelled. If anything has happened to me during my journey I always find this to be a good icebreaker when I arrive. It might be that I got totally lost trying to find them in the hotel and had to walk past Reception a few times and received some dubious looks from the staff! If the hotel is large and I have to walk down a labyrinth of corridors to get there, I usually make a joke, like, ‘I see they’ve put you out of the way, you must have looked like trouble!’ If there’s no peephole on the door, I usually acknowledge that too, saying they weren’t able to peep to see if it was me! Really, I say anything to break the ice as quickly as possible when I enter the room.
Other conversation points include music, the weather, holidays, education, world issues, travel, hobbies, food, wine, art.
The number one topic to avoid is family. If the guy is married he may not want to be reminded of that. If he talks about his family, fine, just don’t ask. I talk about my family, but I wouldn’t tell them if I had a partner or children because I want them to feel that I am single. For me it’s all part of the fantasy. If it was obvious I had had children then I wouldn’t deny it, if I was asked, but I wouldn’t mention my partner if I had one. Other topics to avoid are religion and politics and other dates you have been on or are about to go on. The gentleman does not want to be reminded that you are not exclusively his, even if he is married!
Able to put people at ease, and bring them out of their shell
Some guys are so nervous they are shaking when I arrive. It’s up to me to make them feel comfortable as quickly as possible, and I usually do this by leading the conversation, so they don’t have to think. It’s no good just talking about yourself: you need to show an interest in them and ask questions. You also need to read their body language, and try and work out how they are feeling. If someone is really nervous, it’s always best to try a bit of humour. If you can make them laugh, it’s definitely a good ice-breaker. Afterwards, follow it up with
light-hearted conversation. A sexual, affectionate and tactile person In my opinion you cannot offer a Girlfriend Experience if you don’t kiss. If you don’t want to kiss, that’s your prerogative, but I don’t think you should advertise yourself as a GFE. Not kissing is interpreted as detaching yourself from the experience.
What surprises me is that the thing most men seem to be missing at home is affection. It really isn’t just about the sex. I always thought it was just women that wanted this, but this profession has made me see otherwise. I am very affectionate and tactile; I love stroking and kissing, however I don’t like public displays of affection, and that’s not just for escorting, it’s also for my personal life, so I wouldn’t let any of my dates grope me or constantly kiss me in public. I don’t mind the odd peck, but definitely no tongues until the bedroom!
Once in the bedroom, I like to take my time and set the scene with candles and music. I like lots of slow foreplay and massage, and plenty of kissing. After we have had our fun, I usually just stroke the guy and cuddle until it’s time to leave, or go to sleep.
Comfortable and confident with your body, whatever your size
There’s nothing more attractive for a guy than a woman who is comfortable with her size and body. Contrary to what you may believe, you don’t have to be a stick-thin, big-chested Scandinavian blonde to make money as an escort. Some men like big women, some like skinny, others like a small chest, others larger chests, some like blondes and some prefer redheads. The only thing you have to be is confident. They don’t want to see a lady who insists on having the lights out and diving under the covers (that’s often what they get at
home!), because men love visuals. Intelligent with common sense
When I say ‘intelligent’, I don’t mean you need a degree or A-levels, as I have neither of these. I mean, able to hold an intelligent conversation.
Reliable
Really, it goes without saying: if you want to be successful, you need to be reliable. It’s no good arranging a date and then deciding you don’t feel like going.
I can count on my fingers the number of cancellations I have made in my eight-year career. That, on average, is less than two a year. If you are genuinely ill or have a proper excuse, then you need to let the guy know as soon as possible. Maybe offer him a discount or something for next time to compensate for the inconvenience. You don’t want word to get round that you’re unreliable or this will cost you future bookings.
I heard about a guy recently who arranged a date and had gone out of his way to rearrange his diary to accommodate the lady he was due to see. He checked into the hotel. She called to say she was held up in traffic and he rearranged his meetings so he could still see her. He then called her back, and she said it was too late and she had already set off home. Shocking! Needless to say, he wasn’t a happy bunny.
A good organiser
A diary or Filofax is a must and you need to set your own way of doing things: you can get a whole diary full of dates that never happen, and you may have turned work down. I don’t confirm anything without a booking reference for a hotel, and I also take a full name, and contact telephone number. If someone wants me to put something in my diary and then they’ll call a few days before to confirm, I say that I can’t keep the date free for them until I have the details I need. If they think their plans might change, I ask them to call back when they know for sure if they can make it. Hopefully I’ll still be available. Some guys forget that although they are arranging to see escorts in their free time, it’s not the escort’s free time, it’s our work time.
If you can’t make a date and you have a booking for that evening, then it’s a good idea to ask the guy if he would like you to contact him if your diary changes. It does happen, unfortunately.
If a guy cancels because of work it’s likely he has a job where his plans can change at short notice, so the same thing could happen again. If I get a cancellation for whatever reason, I say I need to take a deposit to rearrange another date to prove they are not a timewaster. If they cancel again, they don’t get their money back because it may have cost me work.
You don’t need to mention other dates. If you’re unavailable for a few weeks and clients comment about you being busy, it’s good to remind them that you do have a social life and that you’re very selective and only see a few dates. Because if you can’t make a date for a good few weeks, they may assume you are working every night!
Hygienic
You might think this goes without saying. Well, so it should! Clean, fresh underwear and clothes are essential. I shower and pamper myself before I set off for my date, but if I don’t feel fresh when I arrive, I shower again.
I use panty liners to keep my underwear looking fresh, but obviously I remove them before I get intimate. Also, I smother myself in scented body lotion and keep myself trimmed in all the right places. I also get regular check-ups at the GU clinic – I go once every three months. I’d advise any escort to do the
same, and to let the clinic know that they are an escort – the nurses can’t properly advise on safe sex if they don’t know the full story.
Punctual
I’m one of those people who really cares about being on time: I get very stressed and distressed if I’m late or think I might be late. Even if I’m going to be five minutes late, I call, and when I arrive, I apologise profusely. I once got the time wrong and got in my car at 7p.m. before realising my date was due to start then! As soon as I realised, I panicked. I debated whether to call him (it was before the days of hands-free), and be even later, or just to get there and then explain.
I decided, as I would only be 10–15 minutes late, I would explain when I arrived. By that time, I was extremely flustered and apologetic. The guy had never seen an escort before and soon forgot about being nervous because of the flap I was in! He said it really broke the ice, and he was touched that I had got myself so stressed about it, because he could tell that I really cared. Seven years down the line, I still meet him for dates.
All the time, I hear shocking stories of ladies not turning up, or waltzing in two hours late, without even an apology or explanation. In some cases, they don’t show at all!
Well-mannered
Good manners go a long way. It’s true what they say; always remember your Ps and Qs. You need to be able to go to a top restaurant and have good table manners. Basic things count, like not speaking with your mouth full. Not being greedy, or having too much to drink. You need to know which cutlery to use for each course. Also, you need to know the correct etiquette.
There are many good books and websites to help you with this. A few basic table manners are: 1 Sit up straight
2 Don’t speak with a mouth full of food
3 Chew quietly and try not to slurp 4 Keep bites of food small
5 Eat at a leisurely pace
The Girlfriend Experience Page 32