Control

by James D. Horton

  I nod and pick up a bone saw that I had just uncovered, turning to Aiver as I do.

  “Shall we find out?”

  I see fear bloom in Aiver’s eyes for the first time and it thrills me. The beast roars its triumph inside me which runs out across my skin and nerves like raw electricity. It is erotic in nature, sexual desire floods through me and I feel extremely turned on so my thoughts go to Wolf again. I feel that stone wall against my back as he slams into me again and again as we both build to release.

  Slowly I walk towards Aiver, saw in hand, reveling in the fear I see in him now. I see him convulse and my body responds with another burst of sensation.

  “What shall we lose?” I speak softly as I run the fingers of my free hand down across his chest which has now almost fully healed. I trace the line across his body, down his chest, across the bulge of his belly and down to his pants. With one hand I loosen his belt, popping the button on his pants and reach into his underwear to find his fear shriveled manhood. I look into his eyes and smile.

  “No. . . .” He stammers the words out. “No, no, no!”

  I see him break, the resistance in his eyes is gone and I feel it as well. The beast in him enters full flight mode, giving up all resistance to the monster in me. He struggles against his restraints, throwing himself wildly from side to side, stammering as he does so.

  The demon inside me thrills in triumph, panting in its desire to destroy Aiver. It lunges with the bone saw and time for me slows. My mind threatens to black out, the real me doesn’t want to see this.

  I realize that is the key, this is what makes me human. Humans, real humans, don’t do this to one another without feeling something. No matter the fucked up shit I’ve seen on television and no matter what I’ve seen on the streets of this City, humans don’t do this. The revulsion is the human in me, the excitement at his screams and the enjoyment of another’s pain is the monster. That’s the difference between these mixed feelings. I feel the first brick being built around the beast as now I begin to understand that those thoughts are not me and I can remain separate from it.

  I think that the demon knows, I think it feels that first brick get laid because my hand spasms on Aiver’s cock, gripping it and nearly crushing it as it tries to force the hand with the saw forward. Now that I can start to see the differences between myself and the monster, I see the path to control and I exert it. My hand holds the saw over my head arcing towards Aiver.

  Stop!

  I issue the command and immediately it does. I can’t keep the smile from my face. The beast quivers with rage and lashes out, assailing me and I feel control slip but I did it!

  I step back and let Aiver go, still brimming with satisfaction. I turn to Griogar and he looks bemused and slightly unhappy. Go fuck yourself.

  I turn and walk back out the door I entered from, tossing the saw away from me as I do. I’m covered in the blood that spilled over me while ‘working’ and I feel exhausted, dirty, and now that all my attention is not being absorbed by the beast I also feel my hunger creeping back in. That still hasn’t been handled; there is still an ache waiting to come over me with a wave of pain and unending need. I shake my head as I enter the closet. I’ve made gains but I won’t be able to hold them if I can’t feed the darkness something.

  I start trying to undo the outfit but the entire thing restrains me from bending over to even reach the boots. I clench my teeth in frustration but then the girl is here helping me. Her deft fingers have me stripped of it in short order.

  I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and have to resist the urge to gag. I’m covered in blood, Aiver’s blood. The urge to gag is almost immediately replaced by the hunger slamming into me and doubling me over in pain. I go blind with it; I can see nothing but stars while I moan in agony. When my vision clears, I am licking the blood from my arms and the pain is receding.

  The beast had leaped into control, licked my arm clean and is starting on the other one; I am bathing myself for all the world like a cat. I don’t even try to stop it, a feeling of euphoria is spreading through my body and I feel amazing; better than any high, better than I’ve ever felt. I feel power coursing through my veins; I can take on the entire world with one hand tied behind my back. There is nothing I can’t do!

  That’s not me! I push myself back into control, easing my way there and the beast now gives way easily. It seems ready to slumber after having been sated with violence and food. I sit naked on the floor, still covered with flecks of blood. I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them looking at myself in the mirror. What now?

  THROUGH THE DARK PART TWO

  Wolf

  I REMAIN ON WATCH BY GRIOGAR’S HOUSE through most of the night, dawn will approach soon. It is quiet; too quiet. I wait though, a hunter knows patience; you won’t have a successful hunt if you don’t. I’ve been to Griogar’s parties a few times so I’m moderately familiar with the layout of his house, at least the areas he’s opened to the public. I don’t see any lights or signs of activity through the windows so I wonder if he may not have her in the back garden area. If nothing else, maybe I can catch a hint of activity.

  Looking around the buildings surrounding his estates I try to spot a perch from which I can get a view of the back. I spot one that with a bit of blood pushed towards my eyes should allow me to see what, if anything, is happening there. I reach down into the loose gravel and dirt that covers the roof I’m on, drawing a symbol that will indicate to Luna which direction I’ve gone in. Her sense of smell has never been as strong as mine but she is one hell of a tracker.

  A couple of leaps and I’m on my new perch from which, as I thought, I can see into the garden, though it is empty. I know she went in, but what is happening now I can’t figure out. What is she doing with that son of a bitch? My gut tightens as anger floods through me, my fists clench into tight balls as a growl rolls out. Why is my Lynx with that monster? It takes every ounce of my will to not walk up to the door, knock and start killing whoever I run into. I wish Luna was here, she could always calm me down but I have to deal with this on my own. I can’t just indiscriminately go killing at Griogar’s. That would pull the entire City down on me and they wouldn’t stop with me, they’d go after Lynx, Luna, and Athene, too. I shake my head, control, I must be in control.

  *** 20 Years Ago ***

  “Wolf, no, not again,” Luna protests, a hand on her hip as she stands over me. I stretch out on the bed resting my head on one hand so I can look up at her easier. I arch an eyebrow at her. She shakes her head and I wait for the moment to pass but it seems she is not going to let it go. “You said we were done with it. We have power now, they have not come after us in months, it is clear they fear us. It’s enough.”

  “Is it?” I growl. I stare at her and I know she’ll see the truth.

  “We’ve gone too far, this is too much. Soon we’ll be no better than Griogar.”

  I growl at that leaping from the bed and slamming into her one hand closing on her throat. She strikes my forearm breaking my hold easily; she is still stronger than me. She is Athene’s child and she is old. The vampires in the City use me and our pack members to get to Luna, through Luna they think they can control Athene, keep her from taking an active role in Society. Threats, manipulations, make sure that no one upsets the status quo by too much is the night to night of vampire Society. We may not have lost one in a while but they are just waiting for any moment of weakness so they can pounce. I pace away from her, push down at the anger and struggle to control the beast. I have to take another one; I have to gain the power of another vampire older than me at least one more time.

  “I have to,” I growl. She has to understand that it’s not just about power. Athene says that one will come who will find a path to balance the beast and I think I see that path.

  “Wolf, it’s too much. The toll on you and on the pack is too high. The beast is getting stronger in each of you each time. You can’t continue down this path any farther.
I can’t let you and I won’t help you.”

  I lean against the cool wall of the cave with one hand, staring down at the ground with my back to her. If she won’t help, I won’t be able to capture someone strong enough to make it worth the effort. Already we are having to travel further and further away to find someone powerful enough to meet my needs. I feel her hand on my shoulder, gentle, forgiving.

  “Don’t do this.” Her arms wrap around me, I feel her pressing against me so I turn into her embrace, pulling her tight.

  “I see something,” I justify. “There is a way out, a way we can gain control, achieve balance, it is not out the top through love and humanity, it is out the bottom. Embracing ourselves as predators fully, we can be Day Walkers.” I talk into her hair, willing her to understand. Raised by Athene she only knows light and air as a way to control her beast. It comes easy to her, she doesn’t see things like I do. She hasn’t lived the life I’ve lived or done the things I’ve had to do. She doesn’t know I must become this to protect her, I can’t lose her like I lost before.

  “No, no more. Promise me,” she pushes me back, holding me at arm’s length from her.

  I can’t answer her, I can’t lie to her so I say nothing. A tear falls from her eye as she pulls me into a tight embrace.

  **************

  The hunt has been successful, but hard. Billy has been hurt and will need some time to recover. He moans, trying to staunch the wounds in his side which are still pouring out blood. He growls like a rabid dog. It would have been easier with Luna but I don’t want her to know about this. I walk up to our prey, he is old and powerful, I can feel his beast trying to cow mine. He is bound and gagged though, we have him chained and his supply of blood is exhausted so he can’t fuel his powers. I smile as I walk up to him. I waste no time on ceremony, grabbing him by his hair and pulling back his head, my fangs pierce his flesh and begin finishing off the last of his blood. It is over in moments, I suck him in, taking all of him, feeling his power flood into me. My beast howls as do I.

  **************

  “You did it,” she says softly and there is no anger in her voice.

  I stare at her without speaking, I did what had to be done but she turns away from me.

  “I’m leaving tomorrow. Sarah wants me here for her attempt, she believes she’s made it. I believe she has to but I can’t do this anymore. This path is too dark, you’re becoming too dark.”

  My mouth moves, I want to say something, anything. I feel empty inside but the beast rumbles and it comes out as a growl. She whirls on me, anger flashing in her eyes, her cheeks are streaked with tears of blood.

  “You dare!” she screams.

  I shake my head, raising my hands palms open and towards her while I fight inside with my own beast, struggling to control it, resisting the urge to meet her anger with anger. It is over an instant, her control is impressive. I feel her slam the cage on her beast and the tension drains from the room. Our eyes meet.

  “I love you,” she says as she turns and walks away.

  *** Today ***

  A tear falls. I can’t stop it, I still love her. At that moment, Griogor walks into view at the center of his garden.

  DIVING IN

  Lily

  THE GIRL REAPPEARS BUT THANK GOD she wasn’t here a minute ago. She leads me to a shower hidden behind another mirror, letting me know Griogar has requested to see me again tonight. After a few blissful minutes I emerge from the bathroom clean and retrieve my own clothes, beginning to feel normal again. I look myself over in the mirror one last time and then walk back out towards the garden. The pain and thirst are more distant; under control for the moment. When I get out to the garden I find Griogar in his odd monument again with Aiver on the stone table, bound and quiet once more.

  “Ah, Lynx,” Griogar says as I round the corner.

  I walk up to stand opposite him.

  “We were discussing food chains earlier.”

  “Yeah,” I say arching an eyebrow at his lecturing tone. “I get it.”

  “Well, I noticed you ahhh…. hesitated earlier and I must apologize for perhaps overstepping my bounds. It does not change the basic necessity that you cannot get by on lesser foods. So!” He flourishes his arms at Aiver again. “You should partake of a higher sustenance.”

  Immediately my thirst flares. This is the answer; my experience in the closet tells me this is it. I know this is what I need so I don’t even hesitate. I’ve fed on a human boy, what difference is it to feed on this bastard of a man?

  I step forward to Aiver and raise his head into the crook of my arm, leaning it back against my shoulder to fully expose his neck. Slowly, enjoying the moment, I lower my head to his artery. My fangs press against his flesh, the tension of his skin presses back, resisting, which I find erotic and sensual all in its own right. A shudder runs down my spine, desire rises in me and a thrill hits my core. Slowly, so slowly, like an experienced lover I penetrate his flesh, the warm moistness hits my lips as the artery is pierced and then like a man reaching his climax it pumps into my mouth hitting the back of my throat. I swallow and the shudder encompasses my entire body. I am swept away with waves of pleasure that come with each pulse of his blood into me.

  Dimly I am aware of Griogar; I can hear him speaking softly in words not intended for me. I don’t understand them and I don’t care, the taste is too filling, at last I truly feel sated. There are no words for the sensations I feel, no way to describe the pleasure and the satisfaction that fills me. Nothing I’ve experienced compares to this. I feel him draining under me and I can sense that I am at the last drops of blood but I continue to pull. There is something more there, something to be had and I want it. The beast roars inside me, filling my ears with its sound and drowning out my ability to think clearly. I pull and suck, I want that last drop, and I feel something akin to electricity rolling across my skin as I do. The beast in me leaps forward and engages with the monster in Aiver, I see it all clearly in my mind, the two dark animals circling each other, testing and feinting as they turn round and round. My beast attacks and wounds, his retreats, then renews its own attack realizing it is cornered and there is no escape.

  A howl followed by a scream seems to explode next to me, pulling my attention from the internal battle and back to the world around me. Reluctantly I break my grip on Aiver to see the source. Wolf is on top of Griogar and his face is elongating like an animal’s, his teeth are all impossibly sharp and long as he growls, his claws glint in the moonlight. His arm swings down in what will surely be a killing blow but Griogar raises his arms, saying words in that strange tongue. There is a flash of light, a bang and Wolf flies backwards slamming against one of the stones of the ceremonial ring. I hear the sound of bones breaking but it doesn’t stop Wolf, he leaps immediately back into the fray, seeming to fly through the air while aiming at Griogar’s throat, his claws leading the way.

  “Wolf, NO!” I scream. I can’t let him be hurt, not for this, for what I’ve done.

  Griogar throws his arm wide his fingers making a flicking gesture at Wolf who stops in mid-air as if slamming into an invisible wall. He drops down into a crouch, baring his teeth with a low growl.

  “Kill you Griogar,” he says.

  I can barely understand the words he says they are so buried in animal growls.

  Griogar just smiles and laughs, standing tall he puts one hand out holding it up open palm as if telling Wolf to stop with merely a gesture then he looks at me and arches an eyebrow as if waiting to see what I will do.

  “Wolf,” I speak softly, nothing else will work in this situation. I reach out and feel his beast; I see it easier than ever, I feel so strong now. I don’t even need to concentrate on it, it is instinctual and easy. I mentally whisper directly to Wolf’s beast, a wordless hum that calms and the effect is immediate. Wolf stops and rises to his feet no longer ready to pounce though he is still stiff and obviously wary, his eyes never leave Griogar.

  “Well played Lynx,”
Griogar says and Wolf turns with a snap to face me.

  “You?” his voice is low and edging back to a growl.

  I nod, keeping my face blank as Wolf stares at me, his eyes are pools of amber I want so desperately to fall into. His arms are strong and protective, I want them wrapped around me telling me without words it will all be fine. The need for him is an ache inside pulling at my resolve pushing me to run to him but I stand still waiting. No one moves as minutes pass, a cloud passes over the moon casting all of us into darkness for an instant and in that moment all the tension seems to go. As the light returns the danger passes.

  “Can’t do this.” Wolf says looking at me.

  “Why not?” My anger flares instantly. “You refused me! You were going to let me die in that alley! What right do you have to tell me what I can or can’t do? You of all people gave up that right!”

  I remember it so clearly, Wolf standing over me as I lay in that alley dying, I had approached him to comfort him, how little I had known! He had been wounded, badly, his beast was grabbing for complete control but I didn’t understand that then, he turned on me his sharp claws gutting me. The painful part was not the gutting, that was physical pain, that I could ignore, the real pain was listening to him argue with Athene, listening to him refuse me, refuse to turn me into a vampire. He didn’t want me to be like him, didn’t want me to be at his side forever. He cast me aside, I loved him, I still love him, but he refused me. Like so many others before him he used me for his pleasure then cast me aside, only with him I would be dead. No surviving, no moving on with life and dealing with it. That was my end if not for Athene who had refused to let me go. Athene who loves me more than Wolf ever could or would.

  Wolf looks away from me and as usual he says nothing. Wolf and his god damn caveman ways. Super alpha male, words are for the weak mentality.