Control

by James D. Horton

  Wolf and Luna look around for the source of the attack, I reach out pointing towards the tear but they just look side to side making me realize they don’t see what I’m seeing.

  More people are being sucked into it; it only takes me a moment to realize actual bodies are not coming through the burning walls, I am seeing the souls of the dying being sucked into whatever is on the other side of that tear. Now I can see things moving on the other side, nightmare shapes that scurry here and there down the rotting streets and on the decayed walls. I see through the tear and as each person crosses over they are grabbed, some are put into bags, other creatures wrap them in webs, and the sight is horrifying. I rip my attention from it to look at Wolf and Luna who still are searching around unable to spot the source of my distress.

  “Do you see that?”

  Though they are confused they look to where I am pointing though it is painfully obvious they still don’t see what I’m seeing. As I watch a nightmare thing crawls through the break and runs away down the street. Looking through the tear the streets on the other side are filling not just with monstrous nightmares, but haggard looking people as well, some of whom seem to be trying to climb through the breach. Whatever it is I’m looking into, Purgatory, Hell, or some mirror universe, this has to be stopped, the souls of the dying are being sucked into it while monsters are being set free in our world. There are enough monsters in this world without adding new threats.

  “NOW!” My cry breaks them into action. They may not see what I am seeing but they do see the horror being carried out in front of us.

  “Go left,” Wolf says to Luna. “I’m right. You got center.”

  I nod and as one unit we leap from the building. There is no more time for planning, now is the time for action. I see Luna land off to my left just as I alight in front of one of the vampire guards. He turns and I snap his neck in a single blood fueled motion, my beast roaring in release. I toss his body into the burning building to make sure he stays down. I hear the sounds of struggle from up and down the street as Wolf and Luna take care of the guards near them.

  Then I hear Luna cry out, the sound of her pain sends chills down my spine, I spin towards her unsure how anyone could have gotten the better of her. Standing in front of me on the street is my brother William. He smiles up at me, holding his arms out for a hug.

  “Lily, I’m hungry,” he says.

  MEMORIES

  Lily / Luna

  *** Lily ****

  “YOU AREN’T REAL, YOU CAN’T BE HERE,” I stammer. The fire, the street, and the building all fade to the background. Will is standing here in front of me, whole just like he was right before ...

  “But I’m so hungry Lily! Mom hasn’t made dinner, I haven’t ate in days! Where have you been?”

  Tears stream down my face as I reach out to him stroking his small face, so warm to my touch.

  He brightens chuckling. “Lil, why are you being so weird?”

  “Will ...” I choke on the word as emptiness seems to surround me engulfing all that I am. He smiles up at me but there is a twist to his grin that wasn’t there a minute ago.

  “Where have you been sis? Seems you been gone as much as Mom has. I heard her you know, banging those guys.”

  I step back, I tried so hard to shelter him from the life we had, to protect him and make sure that he grew up okay.

  “Those were just noises Will; you know I told you not to worry about noises like that. You just turn the TV up a little louder.”

  “Some noises huh? Boy she likes the men don’t she? And howl? My god our Mom howls like a banshee when they do her!”

  I feel sick inside, sick and angry. He is not supposed to know these things, it is my job to protect him from the darkness.

  “Will, don’t talk that way.”

  “Why? What’s gonna happen sis? You gonna get mad at me? Or maybe, you’re gonna just let the bad man walk back into the house, huh?”

  I shake my head at him. His small face is paler now, blood is seeping from his hairline down across his face and small flecks of blood come out of his mouth with his words.

  “Will, it will be okay,” tears stream down my face; I’m losing him again.

  “No, it won’t sis. It won’t at all right Lil and it’s all your fault! You did this to me!” he points to his head and I see the wound. I look down and my shirt is wet and sticky, I feel blood on my skin. I reach for my little brother trying to stop the flow of blood.

  “Will, I’m sorry, no Will, I’m sorry, don’t leave me!”

  *** Luna ****

  Walking up to the first of the thugs, I dispatch him easily. One step, one crack, and he is done. I move to engage the next but then I hear the cry, a wailing sound and I know immediately that I have to save the child. I look down and there it is, in my arms. I feel my breasts enlarging again, filling with milk because the child needs to nurse. I bring it up and tease its mouth with my nipple but it is not responding. Looking closer I see a blue tint to her lips, something is wrong with my child, her neck is broken and she lies in my arms unable to nurse at my breast as she should. My world collapses, it’s all gone and there is nothing left, no reason to continue.

  “Well done Luna or should I say Mom?” Billy walks up dripping blood on the sidewalk stopping to stand in front of me while I try to encourage the baby to nurse. “You knew Wolf was going too far, you should have stopped this, you should have saved me! Look what he did to me!”

  Tears stream from my eyes making it difficult to see and reluctantly I look up to Billy from my child. He has gaping wounds through his chest that leave his ribs and guts exposed. Parts of him that should be inside are hanging out and he is practically disemboweled.

  “I’m sorry!” I cry but the words aren’t enough. Just like the one in my arms, I failed him. He was mine to raise and a Mother protects, a Mother defends, a Mother doesn’t let her child end up broken and lying in the dirt.

  *** Lily ***

  “Leave you? Leave you? You left me! You went out when you should have been home with me; if you had been home the fire never would have happened! If you hadn’t been antagonizing her then that man wouldn’t have come out would he? You had to throw your insults, you had to be the big woman on the block!”

  Blood froths from his mouth as he spits the accusations at me, my own shirt is drenched in his blood and I feel the weight of his brain matter where it’s sticking to me.

  “Will, I’m so sorry,” I plead. “I should have left her alone, I knew better.”

  “You knew better. You’re sorry, too late now isn’t it? And here you are, alive and well and what do I get? You know what hell is Lil?”

  “I’m sorry,” I sob again, reaching out for him to pull him into an embrace but he dances back from me.

  “Last time you hugged me I got killed, what happens now Lil? Why Lil? Why did you have to taunt her?”

  “I was angry Will, I was tired of her hurting us!”

  “Us? What did she do to you? She wasn’t hurting us, just herself, using herself up but what did it matter to us? All you had to do was stay home and not taunt her!”

  “You don’t know how it was Will, you were too little, you didn’t have to . . .”

  “Have to what Lil? Put up with her men touching you a bit? You couldn’t just deal with that so I could live? Too much for poor Lil, let me sacrifice my brother so I can get out of here! Nice Lil, real nice!”

  “Will, no!”

  “They did things to me too, did you know that Lil? Oh yeah, some of those men, they liked boys too. Had me watch while they did things . . .”

  “NO!” I scream. I have to make this stop, this isn’t real, I protected him!

  *** Luna ***

  Sarah walks up to stand beside Billy. She is burnt to a black cinder, only tufts of her blond hair are left on her head and her skin cracks as she walks while charcoal like powder breaks off of her and drifts away in the wind. I still struggle to get the baby to nurse, my milk will heal it, bring
it back to life I feel certain of this.

  “Hey Luna,” Sarah taunts. “How about you just let me walk out into the sun?”

  The baby mewls and I look down hope springing to life but the small body’s head still just lolls at that odd angle, the blue lips are not latching to my breast.

  “Yeah Luna, that’s perfect. A mother protects, a mother defends, a mother gives her last breath to save her children, but we’re all gone and here you are.” Billy mocks me.

  “Wow,” Sarah says. “Who did that to you Billy?”

  “Mom here let Wolf do this to me. She walked off after you took your day walk and left the two of us alone. I tried to keep up with him but you know how Dad is, tough as nails take no shit from anyone. He pushed me to keep up with him, I think he was just pissed she left. You know how he gets when he’s not getting any.”

  Sarah laughs and I cringe back from them, my children have grown so dark this is not how I remember them. What are they doing here?

  “Why are you here? How have you escaped Hades embrace?” I challenge them.

  “Hades? Seriously Luna, you should really catch up with the times. They call it Purgatory now, that’s where all the bad vampires go when we get offed because our Mother doesn’t care enough. Just like your little one there in your arms.” Sarah says pointing to the baby.

  I feel it latch, feel it sucking at my nipple and I look down in wonderment, after all these years I feel the child attached, sucking life through me at last.

  *** Lily ***

  “That never happened,” I say finding solid ground at last. “Not that, not to you.”

  “Oh but it did,” Will shouts but I notice something, I can’t feel him.

  I reach out with my ability, I can sense darkness there but no light; Will would have light in him. I try to use my ability to grab onto the darkness I sense there but it is without form or shape, amorphous, it is like trying to grab onto an oil spill on water. Physically I see his form dance away from me again but I continue trying to see it through the sight of my ability.

  “No,” I assert.

  “It’s your fault Lil,” he scolds. “You taunted her and that got me killed. You did this Lil.”

  Something in me just snaps, my entire worlds shifts around me at once and I feel it all coming together into a single point of convergence. I look at him through my tears with my eyes wide open for the first time. I feel a weight lift off of me leaving me lighter and feeling freer.

  “You’re right Will, it was my fault.”

  Will stops, looking at me with a frown wrinkling his face.

  “Huh?”

  “I couldn’t even think of you for years. I couldn’t live with myself because part of me has known all along that my actions caused what happened to you. I have to be able to look at that now, I can’t run away from it anymore.”

  He shakes his head. “Yeah! You did this!” he points at the hole in his head which has a corresponding ache in my chest.

  *** Luna ***

  “Billy, look at the Warrior Queen, one of the greatest warriors of all time and she can’t even keep one single kid alive. How many have you lost Luna?” Sarah demands.

  I ignore the phantasms that taunt me, the child in my arms has at last latched and I coo and sing softly to her. Her tiny hands grasp at the air around my breast as she suckles. I place my finger down and she grasps on to it immediately. Her grip is strong; she will be a great warrior. She breaks her seal and coos at me and I smile through my tears. She seals the latch again and I try to suppress the sobs to keep from breaching that sacred bond.

  “Luna huh? One time Amazonian Queen, one time lover, now you’re just the sloppy seconds of a man one tenth your age and power who lives like an animal and even calls himself Wolf.” Billy snorts.

  I continue singing softly to my baby girl, I feel the flow of life passing from me to her. My body gives to her still after her time in my womb, now that she is outside I treasure this first feeding, she is perfect. Her tiny head is covered with a thin layer of raven black hair that already has small ringlet curls in it, her hair will be mine. Her tiny nose is not as flat as mine, that she will take from her father cursed be his name. Her ears though, those seem similar to mine, her high cheekbones, those will be mine as well. She is so perfect. I stroke her tiny face and hair as she suckles, pulling and releasing, and each pull feels like a bit of heaven. I feel my eyes growing heavy as I give of myself to her, she takes me in and I give of myself wholeheartedly. I am a mother, I will protect, I will defend, I will willingly give her my last breath.

  The sound of Billy and Sarah’s taunting fades away as my vision grows dim.

  *** Lily ***

  “I’m sorry Will, I should have made better choices.” Tears still rack my body but I can see now. I use my power to focus and grab on to the oil slick. It fights me, moving here and there, slippery and hard to lock down but there in the center is something solid so I grab onto that and hold on with all I have.

  “I just wanted to live!” Will cries out.

  “Yeah, me too. I just want you here with me now Will.” My chest hurts from sobbing. “The thing is though, we were kids. I’m sorry for what I did, but I did it. I know that now. I also know I can’t change the past or what happened. I regret it every day but there is no fixing the past, there is only coming to terms with it, with what I am and doing better in the future.”

  As I speak, Will stops taunting me. The blood is no longer flowing from his head wound; it actually seems to be healing. His smile now seems more genuine.

  “Really Lil?”

  I smile, I don’t feel the smile yet but I do feel right, confidence filling me.

  “Yes Will. I love you. I love you so much, it hurts every day. There is a hole where you belong Will but you need to move on. There has to be something more than this world, I’m stuck here for now and maybe I’m bad now, maybe I’ll never get to be with you, but you, you’re innocent Will. There is no one in the whole world more innocent than you, no one who deserves to be happy more than you. You were the bright point of my life Will, the only light in a world that was way too dark. I love you Will.”

  Will smiles up at me, his face is as beatific as a cherub with round cheeks and his eyes crinkle as he smiles. He reaches out and takes my hand tentatively and as we touch I finally get a grasp on the darkness I feel in him, finding its core. I hold it with my ability, this seed of rot, and then with a thought I crush it, blinking it out of existence. Will’s grasp on my hand loosens, I look down at him and now I can see through him, the building is burning right behind him. Everything snaps into view around me, clear and perfect, all the lines are sharp, the fire is brighter, and the bricks of the building are clearer than they were. I feel light and completely in control as a smile spreads across my face.

  “I love you sis!” Will says brightly.

  “I love you Will, I miss you.” I do, I miss him already but the hole in me is no longer there, instead he has filled it, warm and comforting and a source of strength. I don’t have a black spot in my heart anymore that I must do anything to keep from looking at.

  “Don’t worry Sis, it will be all right!” he laughs and I know he is right, everything will be all right.

  Will waves and then he is gone and once more I’m facing the building and the raging inferno before me. I look around assessing the situation, I need to find Wolf and Luna, she screamed but where is she? There, I spot Wolf. As I watch he engages one of the vampires that is on guard and in moments the man is shredded to pieces. Wolf turns towards me and I see that his facial features have gone far from human; I’ve never seen him when his beast is fully engaged but I feel that is the case now. His nose and jaw are elongated like a real wolf’s, his teeth are sharp and shiny white, and his eyes reflect the firelight. I feel him; I feel the full fury of his beast raging at the night, suppressing its fear of the fire by quenching it in rage. I can feel as well that Wolf is not there at all and I wonder if he is also being assaulted by old me
mories.

  I look over to where the rift is formed and there, seated on the ground before it is Luna. She is in the middle of the street with her arms crossing her midsection as if she is cuddling something to her chest; she looks pale as she rocks back and forth. I see two of the thugs who started this mess racing towards her, thinking they have easy prey, and she sits oblivious with her attention completely absorbed by the empty space in her arms.

  I reach out to the beasts in each of her two assailants, they are fundamental cages of stone and wood and I smile as I am able to ‘grasp’ both of them in a vice like grip. The monsters struggle as I squeeze, I see the panic on their faces as I increase the pressure, squeezing harder and harder. I feel a cold anger, they may be lackeys but they did this knowingly. They have no concern for these people they are killing; they have no concern for the people of this city, for the people of my City. I squeeze until their beasts burst in my vice and both men drop to the ground, dead. They attacked my people; they do not deserve my mercy. I stride towards Luna, power coursing through my veins.

  My ability has evolved, my senses race out and I can feel how many people are still trapped in the building, I feel each person, each living soul. My power is no longer limited to only the darkness in people; I can now perceive the life in them as well. There is no other help coming and I cannot do this alone, but they need someone.

  I need Wolf and Luna to help me, I’m strong, but not strong enough for what must happen. I reach Luna where she sits on the ground and I reach out to her, finding her beast but it is fading as I can feel she is too. Slowly disappearing as the life force in her becomes nothing more than a flicker. I grab her shoulders and shake, leaning into her face and yelling while at the same time I reach out to her beast and give it the equivalent of a slap in the face.

  Luna’s eyes grow wide and she screams, an agonized sound that pierces my eardrums as she bursts into motion leaping at me, bowling me over we start rolling down the street. I try to roll with it but my head hits the ground with a crack and explodes in pain. The world spins around and around.