From Admiration to Love: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Sophia King

  When they had finished their purchases, all four left the shop together. It was a fine day, and Elizabeth had wanted to walk towards Hyde Park before returning to Cheapside. Mr Darcy and Miss Darcy were going in the same direction towards Grosvenor Square and decided to walk with them. Mrs Gardiner had taken a liking to Miss Darcy and strolled by her side to engage her in conversation. It left Elizabeth and Darcy to walk beside one another.

  “I did not know you had plans to leave London so unexpectedly, sir,” said Elizabeth. “We were all most surprised to learn of your sudden departure.”

  “It had been my intention to leave for London after the ball,” said Darcy. “I had some business I needed to attend to, so I was obliged to come away. And I was anxious to see my sister. It had been too long since we had been together.”

  “And Mr Bingley?” said Elizabeth. “He seemed very settled in Netherfield. I did not expect him to leave so soon.”

  “Bingley has the happy manners which means he is content wherever he is,” said Darcy. “He is as happy in London as anywhere else. He has so many friends here that he is desirous to spend the winter with them.”

  They walked on in silence. Elizabeth tried to think of something to talk about, but then chose to leave the work of finding a topic to him. Eventually, he cleared his throat and spoke.

  I trust you had a good time at the ball?” he asked.

  “Oh yes. It was wonderful. All my family enjoyed it immensely. I am sorry Mr Bingley went away, as he was a great addition to the neighbourhood. We should have hoped for many more balls.”

  “You danced a great deal,” said Darcy. “I did not see you sitting out at any point.”

  Elizabeth was surprised that he should have paid so much attention. “I was fortunate to have many partners,” she agreed. “It is not always the case.” She smiled as she remembered the time he slighted her when she did not have a partner. “And of course,” she could not resist adding, “Having the militia helped a great deal. It meant we had far more gentlemen than we usually do.”

  Mr Darcy’s jaw tightened. “I have heard the militia have left Meryton early,” he said.

  “Yes. They have gone to Brighton. They were to leave in a few months, but Colonel Forster received permission to move early on account of his health. It is a loss to our society. They were a pleasant group of fellows and made the neighbourhood more animated than ever.”

  “And what of Wickham?” said Darcy. “I trust he is still in good health?”

  Elizabeth was astonished that he should speak of his enemy so directly. “He was the last time I saw him, and I have no reason to believe that has changed,” she said. She forced a smile, pushing aside the ache she felt when she thought of him. She would not have Darcy think her a fool for having feelings for an engaged man. “In fact, I have reason to believe he is better than ever,” she added in a tone of forced cheerfulness. To her surprise, Darcy visibly tensed. He slowed his pace and looked down at her. She thought she saw a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes, but she might have imagined it.

  “What do you mean, Miss Bennet?” he asked. His tone was sharp. Elizabeth was taken aback by his demeanour.

  “Mr Wickham is engaged,” she said. A muscle in Darcy’s jaw flicked as he clenched it tight. “To a Miss King,” she added. “An heiress who lives in Meryton. I am not sure if you are acquainted with her?”

  Mr Darcy stopped staring down at her and walked on. She felt him relax, and wondered what had caused his anxiety.

  “I have not had that pleasure,” he said. “She is an heiress, you say?”

  “Yes,” said Elizabeth shortly. She guessed what was going through his mind, and she could not endure him thinking badly of Wickham. After all, it was his fault that Wickham was forced to marry into wealth. If Darcy had provided him with the living intended for him, Wickham could have married where he pleased.

  But Darcy surprised her again. He looked down at her. “I hope…” he began. He looked at a loss for what words to use. “I hope he has not left any wounded hearts behind,” he finished. “I understood he was rather popular there.”

  His eyes searched hers and Elizabeth felt her face grow warm. He knew of her regard for Wickham, but he did not seem to think the less of her for it. Instead, he seemed concerned.

  She considered how to answer his question. Yes, she was hurt that he had behaved the way he did. But in spite of the pain, her naturally resiliency told her that she would forget Wickham. She would be able to think of him with his new wife without pain. And meeting him suggested that there were men in the world who should suit her. If she met one before, she could meet one again.

  “I am sure any hearts that were wounded will recover with time,” she said carefully. “After all, he was not in Meryton so very long.”

  Darcy’s eyes were soft. “I am glad to hear that,” he said quietly. “I should hate for anyone to be hurt.”

  Elizabeth looked away, embarrassed by the intimacy of his tone. She did not like to attract Darcy’s pity, but it did not seem like pity. He looked genuinely concerned.

  She changed the topic to London events and the conversation carried them to the gates of Hyde Park where Mrs Gardiner and Miss Darcy waited for them. Here, they parted to go their separate ways. Elizabeth wondered why Darcy and Miss Darcy had not turned off for Grosvenor Square earlier, as the walk all the way to Hyde Park had taken them a little further out of their way. It was possible he wished Miss Darcy to enjoy the exercise.

  Elizabeth curtseyed to Darcy. He bowed, and gave her a searching look. He cleared his throat and looked as if he were about to say something, but evidently changed his mind.

  “It was good to see you again, Miss Bennet,” he said. “Good morning.”

  He held his arm out to his sister and they walked away. Elizabeth and her aunt turned to go into the park, when they heard fast footsteps behind them.

  “Miss Bennet,” said Darcy. She turned. She was surprised to see him and his sister had followed them. “If you will be so good as to wait a moment. My sister has something she would like to say to you.”

  Elizabeth looked at Miss Darcy and smiled. The young girl blushed furiously and her eyelashes fluttered as she sought to compose herself. She clung a little tighter to her brother’s arm.

  “Miss Bennet,” she said in a voice so low, Elizabeth had to lean forward to hear her. “My brother and I would be delighted if you and your family would join us for dinner in Grosvenor Square.” She took a deep breath to calm her shaking voice. “Would tomorrow night be agreeable?”

  Elizabeth glanced at her aunt. They had so many social engagements that Elizabeth could not recall if they had anything planned for the following evening. She hoped they did not. It had taken so much courage for Miss Darcy to invite them that she could not bear to disappoint her with a rejection.

  Fortunately, her aunt nodded with a small smile. Elizabeth sighed with relief.

  “We would be delighted to attend,” she said. Miss Darcy’s eyes lit up. She looked so proud of herself that Elizabeth was touched.

  “I look forward to it. Good morning, Mr Darcy. Miss Darcy.”

  The group inclined their heads and went their separate ways.

  Chapter 17

  “They are both excessively shy,” Mrs Gardiner remarked as she took her niece’s arm. “I can see how they might come across as proud and above their company, but I am sure they are far more pleasant when they are around those they know well. It is strange that people who have every advantage the world can bestow on anyone should be so shy and ill at ease.”

  “It is,” said Elizabeth slowly. “I had not considered it as such before. I heard Mr Bingley express surprise at Mr Darcy’s behaviour in public, so I had a notion that he was often different. It would be interesting to know what he is like when he is completely at ease.”

  Mrs Gardiner looked at her niece with a smile. She took her arm and linked it through her own. “Perhaps he just needs the right woman to bring his better nature
to the forefront,” she suggested.

  Elizabeth stared at her aunt and burst out laughing. “Oh, good heavens, Aunt,” she said. “Mr Darcy is far too used to having his own way. Any wife of his will have far too much to contend with, not the least of which is his aunt who I understand is a nightmare. I do not envy the woman Mr Darcy marries. She will have to put up with a great deal.”

  “Hmm,” said her aunt. “Perhaps, but let us not judge too hastily. For my part, I found Miss Darcy to be a dear, sweet girl. I look forward to getting to know her better and seeing her tomorrow. Perhaps you could befriend her and draw her out? I am sure your lively manners will be just the thing she needs.”

  “I am open to such a friendship,” said Elizabeth. But would Mr Darcy be keen for them to continue a friendship? How would he feel about his sister becoming the intimate friend of a woman who stayed in Cheapside? But on the other hand, he had been eager to introduce her to Miss Darcy, and he had allowed her to invite them to his home. Perhaps he had lost a little of his snobbery.

  “What of Lydia?”

  Her aunt’s voice interrupted her thoughts. Elizabeth stared at her in horror. “Dear God,” she said. “I forgot about Lydia. What can we do? She would embarrass us and cause poor Miss Darcy to retreat into her shell even more than she already has.” She sighed and not for the first time, she inwardly raged at her father for making her take her youngest and most troublesome sister with her.

  Mrs Gardiner patted her arm, although her eyes were also troubled. “I am sure we will find some way to make her behave,” she said. “Perhaps we can tie her to a chair?”

  “And put a handkerchief around her mouth?” suggested Elizabeth. The pair laughed. “I am not sure even that will work,” she said. “But I hope we think of something. I would not inflict Lydia on anyone.” She paused as she considered her words. “Well, perhaps Miss Bingley,” she amended. “But that would be it.”

  Fortunately, Lydia solved the problem for them. “I never thought I should say this,” she said when they told her of the invitation. “But I would much prefer an evening at home. I hope you will not mind if I stay behind?”

  Elizabeth started forward and placed her hand against Lydia’s forehead. She grabbed her wrist and placed her fingers over the pulse. Lydia stared at her, perplexed, until Elizabeth stood back and nodded with satisfaction.

  “She is not dying, Aunt. She is not desperately ill. She is simply behaving in a most un-Lydia-like manner.”

  Lydia pulled away with a laugh. “La, how strange you are, Lizzy,” she said. “You always advise me to be more circumspect in my behaviour. And what could be more circumspect than a young lady spending an evening at home instead of gallivanting in public? Besides, I am not missing out on much. I find Mr Darcy to be dull company, and I am sure his sister is likewise. I am doing myself a favour by staying home so I am not too tired for the parties I will actually enjoy.” She flashed her sister a mischievous smile and left the room, singing to herself as she went.

  Elizabeth and her aunt looked at one another and raised their eyebrows. “I never thought I’d see the day Lydia would turn down an invitation,” she said. “Perhaps there is hope for her after all.”

  “I think I know what ails her,” said Mr Gardiner. He had been watching the exchange with amusement. “My brother sent her here hoping she would learn some humility. In Meryton, there are few people for Lydia to compete with for attention. But in London, with so many others about, I think she is feeling her own insignificance.”

  Elizabeth considered his words. “I believe you are right, Uncle,” she said. “Much as I love my sister - even if I could cheerfully strangle her much of the time - she could do with learning she is no more important than anyone else. Let us hope she will return to Meryton an altogether altered creature.”

  She walked over the the small table where mail was kept. There were several for her and two for Lydia. She put Lydia’s aside and opened her own. The first was from her mama, still scolding her heartily for her rejection of Mr Collins.

  “We shall all die in the roads, and you care not a jot,” she wrote. “Charlotte Lucas will be mistress of this place after me, and I have to listen to Lady Lucas behave as if the place is quite her own already. Foolish, headstrong girl. I always said you would be the ruin of us all…”

  “How is my sister?” Mr Gardiner called with a knowing smile.

  “Just sending me her love, as always,” said Elizabeth dryly. She glanced at Lydia’s letters. She did not recognise the hand-writing on one, but the other was clearly from their mother. She was sure Lydia’s letter would be far kinder than her own had been.

  Elizabeth’s second letter was from Charlotte Lucas. Elizabeth smiled as she scanned the page. Her friend sounded, if not happy, then content. She did not sound as if she had any regrets in becoming Mrs Collins. Charlotte begged her to visit as soon as she could, and even offered to tell her all about the chimney pieces at Rosings Park if she would do so. Elizabeth laughed. It would be good to see her friend again soon. And she was eager to meet the infamous Lady Catherine. She somehow doubted she shared the family shyness.

  Chapter 18

  Mr Darcy’s townhouse in Grosvenor Square was not as ostentatiously grand as the ones surrounding it, but it was elegant in its own understated way. Elizabeth was relieved. She would never admit it, but she sometimes felt ill at ease in large showy houses. She always felt as if their ostentatiousness were to distract from some character failing in the owners. Her aunt and uncle had laughed when she confided these thoughts earlier, and accused her of being a worse snob then she felt Mr Darcy to be.

  Mr Darcy and Miss Darcy greeted them in the parlour.

  “I had thought Mr Bingley and his sisters would join us,” said Elizabeth to Darcy in a low voice.

  “I am afraid they are much occupied at present,” said Darcy quietly. “And I have not had the opportunity since seeing you of informing them of your presence in London.”

  Indeed, he had agonised over whether or not to send Charles a note after he had seen Miss Bennet. He and Charles had scarcely spoken since they had left Netherfield. He did not know if any good could come of it. Perhaps seeing Jane’s sister would tear open the old wounds he worked so hard to heal since being in London.

  Darcy himself had been in turmoil since seeing Elizabeth. He had left Netherfield early in large part to be away from Elizabeth and the strengthening hold she had over him. He thought to forget her while he was away, and he could not believe it when he had crashed into her the previous day. Darcy was not a particularly religious man. He attended church and followed the teachings, but had no great conviction beyond that. But something about meeting Elizabeth again made him question everything. Suppose something greater had been at work to bring them together? London was enormous, and yet the two of them found each other in the same shop on the same day, at the same moment.

  And as soon as he saw her, he knew his time away from her had all been for nothing. He was more powerfully attracted to her than ever before. She bewitched him now, much as she ever did. He only had to look into her fine eyes to feel himself in danger of forgetting all he owed his family.

  He knew he could not make her a serious offer. He told himself that repeatedly, although with an increasing lack of conviction. She was not the sort of woman his father had always counselled him to marry. But he felt as if his rational mind was at war with his heart. His mind usually won out but for the first time in his life, he felt as if his heart was winning the battle. He could not bring himself to stay away from Elizabeth. His stay in London, surrounded by so many ladies who had been moulded by their mamas and governesses, only made her refreshing liveliness that bit more attractive. He was starting to fear he might be a lost man.

  “How are you finding London, Miss Bennet? he asked her once they were seated at the dinner table. They sat directly across from one another.

  “I am enjoying it very much,” she said. “There is so much to see and do. And having so ma
ny people to observe makes for an interesting study.”

  Darcy glanced down the table. Mr and Mrs Gardiner were speaking with Georgiana and making attempts to draw her out. Darcy was touched by their kindness. Although Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst claimed to adore Georgiana, Darcy often wondered how much of it was for his benefit. They gushed over her in a way that made his shy, modest sister recoil even further in to her shell. But Mr and Mrs Gardiner treated her with sensible good humour, and allowed her to open in her own time. Darcy was pleased to see it and not for the first time, he felt guilty for his attitude towards them in Netherfield before he ever even knew them. Perhaps he should better learn to judge people by their characters rather than their position.

  As the rest of the party were occupied with one another, Darcy lowered his voice to ask Elizabeth a question he had been wondering about.

  “Miss Bennet, I must confess, I am surprised at this sudden stay in London. I do not mean to pry, but I hope all is well?”

  Elizabeth was surprised. Darcy was normally so reserved and aloof that for him to ask a question like this was astonishing. “Yes, all is very well,” she said hesitantly. “My mama wished me to spend some time in London with my aunt and uncle. It is no hardship.” She smiled down the table fondly to where Georgiana and Mrs Gardiner laughed at something Mr Gardiner had said. “I am very fond of them and do not see them nearly enough.”

  Darcy smiled and sliced up some of the honeyed ham on his plate. “I assume they are more pleasing to you than other relatives?” he said delicately. “I noticed your cousin seemed most attached to you at the ball. I was surprised when my aunt wrote to me, informing me of his marriage to Miss Lucas.” He flushed. “Please forgive me if I am being too impertinent,” he added. “It was just such a very great surprise.”