The Surgeon’s Secrets

by Michelle Love

  I can’t talk. Only sobs come out of my mouth. I want to be what he needs me to be. I so desperately want that. And something inside of me clicks on. Some sense of who I must be if I’m going to be with a man like Damon. A man who is a hero.

  Gulping back the tears, I say in a whisper, “You have my blessing, Damon. You have my support. I have your back. And I’ll be here, taking care of your son, keeping him safe while you go out and save us all.”

  “Thank you, baby,” he says as his tears stop falling down on me. “Thank you for being strong for me. This won’t always be a thing I can even do. Age will get in my way. I probably only have a few more missions in me. But if I can take out some of the bad guys and save even a handful of people, then I have to do it.”

  “Yes, you do. I can see that now. I love you, Damon. I love you so damn much.”

  With so much shared between us, we cuddle and take comfort from each other. With only about an hour left before he has to leave, we fall asleep. And I pray that we’ll have many more nights after he returns.

  Damon

  All I can hear are the waves as they hit the small inflatable we’re in. The night is pitch black. The air is hot as it hits my face. The gear we have to wear is suffocating. But it’ll protect us from fire if we encounter any.

  The other members of my team sit in silence as we go to the shore. From there, we’ll have to hump it about ten clicks and then we should come upon the caves that’ve been spotted with satellite images. For a month, we’ve been tracking the movement in the caves with satellite surveillance.

  A large group has been confirmed to be hiding in the cave system. Our job is to tag the places within the cave that have things, including people, that need to be destroyed. Then bombs will be launched off the ships that have congregated secretly. Bombers will fly in after that and take out everything else they can.

  We have to be like ghosts when we go in. Nothing will be easy. We’re trained to use hand signals so we can remain silent. The small boat hits the shore and I give the signal to get out and get on our way. The guns we carry are not light. But they’re all we’ll have to protect us if anyone tries to stop us.

  Moving like a band of mimes, we head into the darkness with our heads clear, minds sharp, and the knowledge that what we do counts. A lot more than you get with most jobs.

  The exercise we all do makes this part the easiest of everything we must do. The fast pace we keep gets us to the cave in no time. We move into the places we’re supposed to, with me bringing up the rear, making sure everyone is accounted for, and being the guy who’s watching out for all who go before me.

  The first part of the cave is empty. One red light lets us know we have something to take out. In complete silence, one of my men uses black paint to cover the lens of the camera. In we move.

  As we get further back into the cave, we can hear things. Snoring, a tapping sound, and someone talking quietly. I’m afraid the people who are awake will have to be the first to go. At least the rest of the people in here will die in their sleep, from the bombs that will soon be approaching.

  We make our way into the room of sleeping people and place the marker on a wall, then get moving as fast as we can while remaining quiet as mice. We find the people who are talking quietly and the first two Seals take them out with their knives, keeping things quiet and moving forward. We have to get as far back into the cave system as possible. We don’t want to leave even one section of this cave viable.

  Room by room, we go and mark them, then it’s time to get back out. Again, I take the rear as everyone heads back out. It’s going as smoothly as we’d hoped. I watch as one, two, three of my teammates exit the cave. Four, five, and six get out. Only three more.

  A loud cry has me turning back and I see a person running at me with a hatchet raised in their hand. They’re all in black. I have no idea if it’s a female or male, or how old they are. I fall back as quickly as I can while letting the other three get out before I do what I have to do to take this person out as silently as possible.

  Placing my gun on the dirt floor, I ready myself for the attack. I outweigh the person by fifty pounds or more. If I can get the weapon away from them and use my knife to make quick work of them, then I can leave and join my team as they head back to the beach.

  The hatchet hits my upper arm, making a laceration in my right bicep. That’s not good, but it’s not awful. I manage to turn the person around and can use my right arm to put them in a choke hold as I fight to get the weapon away from them.

  I get it done and toss the hatchet as far as I can, then take my knife off my belt and do what I have to. Only I find another person coming, and there’s more behind him. All have simple weapons, but all are sharp, and all are deadly if they hit some place vital on my body.

  “Hey,” I hear a female voice come from behind me.

  I turn back and all I see is a green orb. It’s glowing and is about the size of a quarter. It moves and I grab my gun off the ground, taking off after it.

  It moves away from the direction I came from, and I stop for a second. I don’t want to get lost. The sounds of the people chasing me have me looking back, and I open fire on them all, dropping every last one of them. Then I get a message. “Sands one, move.”

  They’ve sent the missiles. I have to get the fuck out of here now!

  “Come!” I hear the same voice plain as day and turn to see that green orb moving again. I follow it, as I don’t know what the hell else to do.

  The screams of the many missiles are coming toward the cave, and I have to be as far away from it as I can be. And I’m nowhere near far enough yet.

  Running after the green light, I find myself praying that I make it out of this alive. The sand makes it hard to run and then the green light is gone. It’s just disappeared!

  And then I fall into a hole …

  What the hell?

  Liv

  When my cell rings with a number I don’t know, I answer it anyway. “Hello?”

  “I need to speak with a Livacious Tillman,” comes a deep voice that sounds official.

  “This is she.”

  “You’re listed on Lieutenant Commander Damon Saunders’ contact list. I’m calling to inform you that he did not make the boat.”

  Nearly falling onto the sofa, I clutch my throat. “And what does that mean exactly, please?”

  “It means he’s been left behind. No one knows where he is.”

  “The news showed bombings in Afghanistan,” I say as I try to think about what the fuck happened and where Damon is. “Is that where he was left?”

  “Yes,” comes the reply from the man who hasn’t even told me who the hell he is.

  “What the hell are you doing about finding him?” I ask as I start to sweat.

  “At this point, there’s not a lot we can do. No one has claimed to have him. He might have been killed …”

  “Stop!” I shout at the man. “Just stop! Please. Can you explain what happened?”

  “I can’t. I’m not in that position to give out that kind of information. You will be told when we know more. This is a courtesy call. Someone will be in touch with you when more is known.” And then the call is over.

  I sit, staring at the wall as my mind races around all the things that might’ve happened to Damon. He could be dead, but I don’t feel that at all. He might be captured. Or he might be lost. If that kind of thing can happen.

  Harold comes into the room, carrying the truck Damon gave him. “I fell asleep.”

  I get up. “I know,” I say as I go to him and pick him up. I’m not about to tell him a thing until I know everything. “Did you have a nice nap?”

  “Uh huh,” he says as he wipes his eyes. “Mummy was there.”

  I sit back down, placing him on my lap. “How nice.”

  “Daddy was too,” he says, and a lump forms in my throat as a rock seems to have been made in my stomach.

  “Your daddy was in your dream too?”

 
He nods. “Him and Mummy are together, and there’s sand everywhere.”

  My vision blurs, my head spins, and I have to lie back on the sofa, still cradling Harold in my arms. “Do you remember what they were doing?”

  He shakes his head, making the blonde curls bob around his shoulders. “No.”

  “Maybe we should pray for Daddy, Harry. Would you like to help me do that?” I ask and notice how badly my voice is quivering.

  “Why? Is Daddy okay?” He gives me a look that I can’t stand. A look of innocence that’s been sullied by loss. His mother left him only a few months ago. His only grandparents too. And now his father, when he just got him.

  Who deserves this much torment in their little life?

  “No matter what, your daddy is okay,” I tell him as I gather my strength. “Don’t you remember when I told you about your mummy and grampy and granny?”

  “You said they were okay,” he says, then wipes his eyes as he seems to be tearing up. “But they can’t come home no more.”

  “Yes, that’s right. Because sometimes things happen. No one knows why, but they do. And that doesn’t mean the person isn’t okay. They are. We have places to go when we leave here. And one day you’ll see them all again. No need to worry.” I run my hand through his hair and try hard not to cry.

  “I want my daddy, Aunt Wiv,” he says and then starts to cry.

  Holding him, I whisper, “So do I, Harry. So do I. We have to keep believing he’ll come home to us. We have to keep asking the Lord above to send him back to us. You and I can ask that together, can’t we?”

  With his nod, I know I have a partner in this and neither of us are all alone. And that’s better than being alone, I suppose.

  What’s not good is not knowing. I can’t take the not knowing …

  Damon

  The sun has risen and fallen again as I’ve been stuck here in this deep-as-shit hole. I heard the sounds of the bombs as they hit their targets last night. But no one can seem to find me, and I don’t foresee that anyone will.

  The hole is small. I’m having a hell of a time figuring out how I fell into the damn thing. That green light led me right to this place. I have a feeling it was some kind of a laser the enemy is using.

  Like a fool, I followed the damn thing!

  But I’m anything but a fool. So I wait until night comes around again and now I’m going to attempt to get out of this place. I think my radio will work once I’m not deep underground.

  The light of day helped me to see that the walls of this hole are sand, which is a good thing, but might also be a bad thing. I might be able to make small holes and use them to place my feet and hands in and climb out.

  Then again, I might make the hole fall in on me, and that might be the way the enemy designed it. I can sit here and die from dehydration or have the sand fall in and smother me. Either way, it sucks ass. So I’m going for the climb.

  The first punch I make into the side sends only a bit of sand down. I make another and see a little more sand fall. I don’t have a lot of choices here, so I move on up. Placing my foot in one of the holes, I move up, punching another hole in the sand. As I move up, that green glowing orb appears at the top of the hole.

  I hesitate and look at it as it moves about. Then I hear a woman say, “Come on.”

  “Who are you?” I ask, then immediately feel stupid.

  My mind’s playing tricks on me. That’s all it is. I had water and a nutrition bar to help me get through the last twenty-four hours, but hallucinations could still be happening.

  With the next punch into the sandy wall, I find a lot more sand falling from above me and see that I’m almost halfway up, from what the green light’s showing me. Waiting a moment to let the sand settle, I move my foot into the hole my left hand just vacated and find the sand slowing.

  Another punch finds more sand raining down on me, and it’s heavy, nearly knocking me back down. If that happens, I’m pretty damn sure I’ll be buried alive.

  “Hurry, they need you!” the woman’s voice calls out.

  Looking up through the rain of sand, I see a face looking down at me. “Jennie?”

  I swear it was her! Her blonde hair was flowing around her face and her big blue eyes were looking right at me. Then she was gone.

  Something clicks inside of me and I start punching the walls with a furious pace as sand keeps pouring over me, threatening to take me back down. I won’t let it!

  There are a little boy and a damn fine woman who are waiting for my return. And they need me!

  The hole is caving in! Sand’s clogging up everything! I can’t breathe!

  I can’t see. I can’t keep up the pace with the weight that’s holding me down.

  I can’t do this!

  Liv

  Harold and I sit on the soft leather seats of the jet that’s taking us to Florida. I couldn’t get the answers I wanted from making phone calls to the base Damon is stationed at. So I did what any woman would do. I took the private jet I have access to and will find out what has happened to the man I love.

  The last twenty-four hours have been sleepless for me. I can’t think about anything other than Damon and getting him back to us. And I pray it’s in one piece and alive.

  Either way, I have to know. We’ll spare no expense in retrieving him, dead or alive.

  “Is Daddy going to be where we’re going?” Harry asks as he looks up at me with sleepy eyes.

  “No, but hopefully he’ll come to us soon, Harry. You rest, baby boy. No need for you to worry. I just want to talk to people in person, instead of over the phone. They don’t seem to understand your Aunt Liv wants answers. And what I want, I get.”

  “K,” he says, then closes his eyes, and I lie the seat back for him.

  There are a few more hours until we reach Pensacola. We’ll have to fly into the regional airport there, instead of the military one. I’ll have to rent a car, make my way to the base, and somehow gain access to the men I need to talk to.

  I don’t know how I’m going to do that, but I have to try.

  It’s been three days since I’ve seen or heard from Damon. It seems as if years have passed by though. I don’t know how I came to need him in only two weeks’ time, but I have. And so has Harold.

  His son cannot be left orphaned like this. He just can’t.

  We barely had Harold’s last name changed and his father put on his birth certificate. If the little boy has to go through another loss, I have no idea how that’ll affect him.

  And I have no idea how much help I’ll be to the poor boy. I’m a wreck. A complete wreck. Sure, I’m holding it together for now. But that’s only because of this stubborn hope that simmers deep down inside of my heart.

  I just can’t shake the idiotic feeling that if Damon was indeed dead that I’d feel it somehow. I know it’s stupid. It makes no sense at all. I’m no psychic after all.

  In an attempt to ease my thoughts that never seem to stop, I look out the window at the dark night sky. No moon is showing. It’s a new moon and barely a sliver of it shows in the sky. That’s probably why the military decided to do the mission. Slip in with one of the darkest nights of the month to help shield them from the enemy. It did that much. The news reported the mission was a great success. All the targets were hit and the cave system is no more than a hole in the ground now.

  A hole my man may be buried in.

  Shaking my head, I try hard to stop thinking that way. I want to keep only positive thoughts going, but it’s so damn hard to keep the negative thoughts away.

  No matter how hard I try, they creep in. My brain must be getting me ready for bad news, just in case that’s all I get when I finally get the answers I’m seeking.

  I hate this. I hate it all. Every aspect of this is hurting Harold and me. Damon came into our lives, at my beckoning, and changed us. Harold and I were fine on our own. I knew the man was in a dangerous line of work. Yet I forged on and found him anyway.

  Why did I do this to us
?

  Damon

  The sound of a chopper is what woke me up. I found myself lying on top of the sand, somehow. I really have no clue how it happened. I was blacking out from lack of oxygen as the sand began to crush me.

  But I made it out, somehow, and must’ve passed out once I was safely out of the hole. And then an American chopper happened to come by and find me in the dark of night. Again, I don’t know how that happened either.

  All I do know is that we’re coming into the base in Pensacola now and I’m about to get to make one hell of a phone call to Liv. I wonder if she knew I’d been left behind.

  Hopefully she has no idea about what I went through. Man, if she does know, she’ll never let me go on a mission again!

  The lights of the base come into view and my heart revs up as I think about setting my feet on American soil. It’s only been a few days, but I sure missed the place I call home.

  Hell, it’d even be great to set foot on English soil at this point. Anything but sand!

  I’m wearing only a T-shirt, as the medic had to take off my other shirt so he could stitch up the hatchet wound on my bicep. That’s a thing Liv will surely ask about and I’ll have to tell her something.

  What kind of a lame story can one make up about a hatchet wound that leaves his woman not worrying about him going out on another mission?

  The chopper lands on the helipad and I waste no time exiting the machine that’s brought me home. Nearly home, anyway. I do have to get back to London as fast as they’ll let me go.

  I miss Harry and Liv so much it hurts!