Sisimito II--Xibalba

by Henry W. Anderson

  I frowned. “Defeat is defeat; yet the Xibalbans are still allowed to inflict harm on the citizens of U Wach Ulew.”

  “Yes!” said Hunahpu. “And that is none of your concern. Your concern is to win the trails and leave Xibalba while you are still alive. Do not take on extra burdens you know nothing about. Do not be sidetracked from your real mission. That is not the Way of the Warrior.”

  “I will continue,” Xbalanque intervened. “You speak only with the guards because Xibalbans inform the Lords of anything unusual in Xibalba. You are unusual. You are a head and shoulder taller than most of us. That cloth medallion you wear is unusual. The weapons on your hip

  are unusual. Stay away from the Xibalbans as much as you can. The guards do only their duty. They guard.”

  “I will do as you say.”

  “Good!” grunted Xbalanque. “Agreement at last. You will know the guards. They look like guards. Walk up to any of them and say, “I wish to enter the Council Place of the Lords for I wish to leave Xibalba. You will then be escorted to the Chamber of the Council Place of the Lords where you will meet the Death Gods and their Lords. Do not be intimidated.”

  “I will not be.” Hunahpu and Xbalanque looked at each other, their face expressionless, but they raised their eyes. I don’t suppose they believed me.

  “Hun-Came, the greater Death God, will ask you why you have come to the Council Place of the Lords; or it could be Vucub-Came. One never knows in Xibalba. You answer that you wish to leave Xibalba. Vucub-Came, the lesser Death God, will then ask you to address the Demon Lords. Have you learned their names yet?”

  “I have been trying to as we walked. It’s difficult.”

  “All worthwhile trials are difficult,” lectured Hunahpu. “If not, there would be nothing for our scribes to write about, and nothing for our artisans to tell or sing about, nothing worthy to paint.”

  I was silent for a while, trying to go over the names, but not getting very far. I decided to ask them to help me and they said a loud “No”, they couldn’t. I asked over and over until they appeared to be getting tired of my persistence. Suddenly, the names were cemented in my brain. I smiled, looking at them. Their expressions showed nothing. I beamed, very satisfied that, with a bit of cunning and persistence on my part, I knew all the names of the Demon Lords. Then, perhaps, I had just become fokin annoying and they could not take it anymore. I grinned, happily.

  Hunahpu’s next remark made me very conscious of how unaware I really was. He quietly informed me that he and his brother were very cognizant of my infantile attempt at wit and cunning. It was actually the attempt itself that led them to do what they had done. Nevertheless, I kept my beaming face, but it disappeared quickly, when Hunahpu added, “Knowing names and not knowing who they belonged to is not very helpful.” I sighed, loudly, feeling crushed.

  Xibalba was still asleep and the gates remained closed so I asked, “Would you tell me the story of the defeat of Xibalba?”

  “It is a story that cannot be hurried and the city gates will soon be opened,” advised Xbalanque.

  “I would like to listen and see what instructions there are within that story,” I urged.

  “Then we cannot say ‘no’,” said Hunahpu, with a defeated expression. “Go ahead, my brother.”

  Xbalanque looked at the closed gates, raised his eyebrows, then began. “I tell these stories the same way every time I tell them. If you’ve heard a part before, you will just have to listen to it again. Well, here goes. My brother and I played Pitz at the same ballcourt that our father and uncle had played on long before we even existed. When they played as young men, they made quite a racket and the Lords of Xibalba complained that the noise disturbed them. The Xibalbans then summoned our father and uncle to play Pitz in their own ballcourt in Xibalba. It was a trap. The Xibalbans used a bladed ball to kill and decapitate our father and uncle saying that their deaths were punishment for disturbing their peace in Xibalba.

  “When we, as boys, began to play Pitz in the same ballcourt our father and uncle used as young men, we also made a lot of noise and, once again, the Lords of Xibalba complained that they were disturbed by the racket. As we expected, they sent a summons for us to come to Xibalba and play in their court. Hearing about the summons and knowing that the Xibalbans planned the same fate for us, our grandmother decided to warn us. She did not like us very much, but she did not want us to suffer the same fate as her sons, our father and our uncle. She didn’t come and tell us personally, but sent a message by the most indirect means possible. She gave the message to a louse which was hidden in a toad’s mouth. The toad was hidden inside the belly of a snake, which was hidden inside the belly of a falcon. It was only by the blessings of the gods bestowed on us that we receive the message. Our grandmother thought that her warning would stop us from going to Xibalba, but, much to her dismay, we set off to Xibalba.

  “When our father and uncle answered the summons of the Lords of Xibalba, they were met with a number of challenges along the way which confused and embarrassed them. We had no intention of falling victims to the same tricks. We sent a chan-koxol337 ahead of us to the Chamber of the Council Place of the Lords to bite the Lords and uncover which were real and which were simply mannequins, as well as to discover their identities. When we arrived at Xibalba, with the information provided by the chan-koxol, we were easily able to identify which were the real Lords of Xibalba and address them by name. We also turned down the Lords’ invitation to sit upon the special bench for visitors for we were able to identify it as the heated stone for cooking we told you about earlier. The Lords became frustrated by our wit and cunning, and our ability to see through their traps, so they sent us to Ee’hoch’e’en Ja, a house filled with darkness, the first of several deadly tests they had devised.

  “Our father and uncle had suffered embarrassing defeats in each of the tests and the Xibalbans thought we would do the same. With the blessings of the gods, and our wit and cunning, we were able to outsmart the Xibalbans on the first of the tests, surviving the night in the pitch-black house without using up the torch we had been given. The Xibalbans were dismayed and so allowed us to bypass the remaining tests and go directly to the ballgame. We knew that the Xibalbans would use a special ol338 with a blade, hoping to kill us. Instead of falling for their trick, during the ballgame Hunahpu stopped the ol with a maquahuitl and destroyed the blades. We complained bitterly that we had been summoned only to be killed, and we threatened to leave the game.

  “The Lords of Xibalba decided to compromise so that the ballgame could continue. They allowed us to use our own ol, and a long and proper game ensued. In the end, we allowed the Xibalbans to win the game.”

  “Why in the gods’ names would you do that?” I asked. “That’s incredulous”.

  Xbalanque glared at me. “I am not finished.”

  “Sorry,” I apologized, shrugging my shoulders.

  “I will continue. Losing the game was all part of our strategy devised by our wit and cunning, to embarrass the Xibalbans and defeat Xibalba. Since we had lost the ballgame, we were sent to K’íilkab Ja, the second deadly test the Lords commanded. The house was filled with razors and knives that moved of their own accord. We spoke to the razors and knives and convinced them to stop, thereby ruining the test. The Lords had anticipated winning this test and had demanded as a reward that we present them with flower petals from the gardens of Xibalba. They knew that this was an almost impossible feat to accomplish as the gardens were well guarded. But we had wit and cunning. Even though the test had been ruined and we no longer had to provide the reward, we sent leaf-cutting ants to retrieve the petals. The guards did not take notice of the ants and we got the petals which we later presented to the Lords, humiliating them further. Incidentally, the guards were later killed for their inability to protect the flowers. They are still suffering many deaths.”

  “So, the guards suffered deaths over and over again? I questioned.

  “Do I r
eally need to answer that? You are convincing me that you are, indeed, thick in the skull. I will continue. We played a rematch and lost by intent again. That time we were sent to Ke’el Ja, a very cold house that made you rattle. We won again and we continued like that, losing the games and winning the tests; that was until we were sent to Sotz’ Ja, a house filled with sotz’. We hid inside our blowguns from the deadly sotz’, and all was well until my dear brother here, Hunahpu. decided to see if the night was over. He peeked and was immediately decapitated by a very large sotz’, the Camazotz.

  “The Xibalbans were overjoyed that Hunahpu had been defeated. I had no intention to accept defeat. I summoned the beasts of the fields and, with their help, fashioned a replacement head for Hunahpu so that we could play in the next day’s ballgame. The Xibalbans had planned to use Hunahpu’s real head as the ol for the ball game, but we were able to secretly substitute a squash for his head and so Hunahpu was able to keep his real head and we thoroughly defeated the Xibalbans.

  “They were extremely embarrassed by their defeat, but would not accept it so they tried to kill us. They had a great oven constructed and once again summoned us, intending to trick us into the oven and to our deaths. We realized this, but, nevertheless, allowed ourselves to be burned in the oven, killed and our bones ground into dust. The Xibalbans were elated at our apparent demise and cast our remnants into a river. That, however, was also a part of our plan. When they cast our bodies into the river we regenerated, firstly as a pair of catfish and then, secondly, as a pair of young boys again.

  “We were not recognized and so we remain among the Xibalbans, entertaining them. Tales of our dances and the way we amused the citizens of Xibalba spread. We then decided to up our plan and performed a number of miracles. We set fire to homes and then brought them back whole from the ashes. We sacrificed each other and then rose from the dead. When the Lords of Xibalba heard the tales, they summoned us to their court to entertain them, demanding to see such miracles in action. We answered the summons and volunteered to entertain the Lords at no cost. We kept our identities secret at that time, claiming to be orphans and vagabonds, and the Lords were none the wiser. We went through our usual miracles, slaying a dog and bringing it back from the dead, causing a Lords’ house to burn around him, yet being unharmed, and then bringing the house back from the ashes. In a climactic performance, I cut Hunahpu apart and offered him as a sacrifice, only to have him rise once again from the dead.

  “Enthralled by the performances, Hun-Came and Vucub-Came, the Death Gods, the highest Lords of Xibalba, demanded that the miracle be performed upon them. We willingly obliged by killing and offering the two Death Gods as a sacrifice. Of course, we did not bring them back from the dead. We then shocked the Xibalbans by revealing our identities as the Hero Twins, sons of One Hunahpu whom they had slain years ago along with our uncle, Seven Hunahpu. The Xibalbans despaired, confessed to the crimes of killing our father and uncle years ago, and begged for mercy. As a punishment for their crimes the realm of Xibalba was no longer to be a place of greatness, and the Xibalbans would no longer receive offerings from the citizens who walked on the Surface World, U Wach Ulew. All of Xibalba had effectively been defeated. And that’s that. And the gates still have not opened.”

  “Thank you,” I remarked, gratefully. “You said that you did not bring back the Death Gods from death. Yet, you have told me they’re in the Council Place of the Lords.”

  “We did not do it immediately. Once their deaths were firmly established and the news had been spread all over the Underworld, we brought them back to suffer their humiliation and do their duties.”

  I remained quiet, trying to see the strategy they used for the defeat. I couldn’t so I decided to talk about the ballgame. I looked at Xbalanque. “You said you would provide me with equipment for the game.”

  “We will.”

  “How will I get the equipment? We’re about to be separated.”

  “Questions! Questions!

  “Of course, I have questions, a lot of fokin questions.”

  “Of course, you do,” agreed Xbalanque.

  I was exasperated. “If you agree, why don’t you answer them?”

  “But I do, not necessarily when you want me to, but I do.”

  I calmed myself. “Who will dress me? Who will dress the team?”

  “We will. At least, you.”

  I frowned. “I thought you didn’t want to be around me as that will bring focus on you and you may be recognized.”

  “We won’t be recognized.” I opened my mouth to respond, but snapped it shut instead. “That’s better,” he sighed.

  “You had a second question,” laughed Hunahpu, quietly. It was the first time I heard him laugh. I nodded. “We will avoid focus as we will not appear as we are. We will appear as two young slave boys, just turning into manhood. We will approach and say, “We are here to dress you and your team”. We will have your equipment with us. We will also be in the Council Place of the Lords during your trials. We will then appear as young nobles. Slaves are not allowed in the Chamber of the Council Place of the Lords.”

  I decided to say something nice. “I am proud to use your father’s and uncle’s equipment. How will I get them back to you?”

  “Don’t worry about that. We have our ways and you should be proud,” expressed Xbalanque. “Very proud. If you were not, you would diminish the greatness of their lives and death.” The gates began opening with loud clanging sounds. “The gates are being opened, but we do not need to rush in. I will tell you the story of how my brother and I retrieved the equipment. Listen and see.”

  “I thought you wanted to be here before the gates open.”

  He frowned looking at me as if I was absolutely stupid. He raised both hands in a questioning gesture. “I did. And so, I am here. I didn’t say, however, that I wanted to enter the city immediately when the gates were opened. Now listen and see what you can learn. In fact, you take this one, Hunahpu. I’ve been talking too much and am rather frustrated with Fuck.”

  Hunahpu shrugged his shoulders and began.

  “After we got rid of our two older half-brothers, rather than laboring all day doing our chores, we began using our special powers and abilities to expedite our gardening chores for our grandmother. For example, we made a single swing of the ikaj do a full day’s worth of clearing. We often covered ourselves in dust and wood chippings when our grandmother approached to make it look like we had been hard at work, when in fact we had spent the whole day relaxing. We had a problem, though. On the next day, when we returned to work to laze about again, we always found our work undone by the jungle animals. It seemed that they wanted us to do real work and not rely on our special powers and abilities. We did not agree so at the end of the day we hid, laid in wait, and when the animals returned we attempted to catch or scare them off.

  “We were young boys so most of the animals eluded us. We caught an imul339 and a masat340 by their tails, but their tails broke off and, incidentally, that’s why all future generations of imuls and masats have short tails.”

  “I’m sorry to interrupt, Hunahpu, but what the fok do imul and masat tails have to do with the gaming equipment?”

  “That’s why I decided to have you tell the story, Hunahpu,” snorted Xbalanque. “Questions! Questions!”

  Hunahpu grimaced then simply resumed. “A ch’o’, however, we did capture, and we singed his tail over fire in revenge for what he and the other jungle animals did to our work.”

  “And that’s why a ch’o’ has no hair on its tail,” I remarked, again a little sarcastically.

  Hunahpu just ignored me and continued. “In exchange for our mercy that we did not remove all his hair, the ch’o’ revealed an important piece of information to us. He told us that, in her grief, our grandmother had hidden the gaming equipment belonging to our father and uncle, for it was playing Pitz that was directly responsible for the deaths of her sons.

  “So, w
e had to use our wit and cunning, once again, to get the equipment. Having already asked our grandmother to cook a meal with hot chili sauce, we sneaked the ch’o’ into our home during dinner. When the pepper began burning our mouths, we asked for water and our grandmother went to get some from the jar in which we stored water. But there was none as we had put a hole in the bottom and the water had leaked out. So, Grandmother went off to get from another jar further away and we were left alone. We sent the ch’o’ up into the roof to gnaw apart the ropes that held the hidden equipment. It fell and so we were able to retrieve the equipment. We learned how to play the game and, like our father and uncle, it became one of our favored activities, much to Grandmother’s dismay. And that’s that,” finished Hunahpu.”

  Before I could thank him, he and Xbalanque jumped up. “Go ahead, Fuck. We’ll follow behind,” said Hunahpu.

  I raised my hand. “Wait!”

  “What is it now?”

  “Why are you helping me?”

  “Because you will be helping us.”