Wyoming Rugged

by Diana Palmer

  She lay back on the pillows. “Sorry,” she managed. “It all caught up with me.”

  He stood up, wincing as he saw the result of the tears and pain and fear on her face. Odd, though, how the fear was still there. She was safe now. Why would she be afraid now? And of what?

  * * *

  HE DROPPED INTO a chair beside the bed.

  “You should go...” she began again.

  “I’m not leaving Catelow until your bean sprout–eating friend is on that plane and gone,” he said flatly, the residue of the rage he still felt in his black eyes as they met hers.

  “I’m okay,” she said.

  He drew in a long, steadying breath and locked her fingers into his on the edge of the bed. “No, baby, you’re not okay. Something’s wrong. Something more than this.”

  Her head turned on the pillow. Her eyes were huge and frightened.

  He was right. There was more. His fingers became caressing around hers. “Niki, I didn’t get where I am by missing details,” he said softly. His black eyes moved over her face like an artist’s brush, sketching every soft line. “You didn’t take your rescue inhaler or a cell phone with you, did you? I might buy that you could forget one at home. But not both.”

  Her face flushed. She tried to draw her fingers back, but he held them tight.

  “You’re afraid of something. You won’t tell your father.” His eyes narrowed. “Come on. What is it?”

  She swallowed. “Not your business, Blair,” she said, and managed a wan smile.

  “Not my business.” He looked at her small hand in his, at the nails only colored by a transparent layer of polish, short and pretty. He smoothed his fingers over them. “It used to be. We were friends.”

  “Yes, until Cancun...

  He drew her palm to his lips and pressed it hungrily there. “Dear God, of all the mistakes I’ve ever made in my whole damned life, that was absolutely the worst!” he ground out.

  “We were friends until then,” she said huskily. “I’m so sorry!”

  “Baby, don’t,” he pleaded, and his voice was tormented. His heavy brows drew together as his mouth ground into her soft palm. “You didn’t do anything wrong. The fault was mine. I lost my head and I was so ashamed that I just walked away, without a word.”

  “You said it was demeaning...”

  “God!” He bent his head over her hand, gripping it so tightly that it was almost painful.

  She couldn’t understand his behavior. She drew in a breath. “It’s okay, Blair,” she said gently. “Really. I know it was just...infatuation.” She smiled, but her face was almost white.

  He lifted his head and looked into her pale, wounded eyes. “I said that, didn’t I? That, and a lot more.” His broad face was sad, still. His chest rose and fell heavily, and his black eyes fell back to her hand. “I thought I was doing what was best for you,” he said in a soft, husky tone. He brought her fingers to his mouth and kissed them tenderly. “I wanted you to be happy, Niki.”

  “That’s what I wanted for you, too,” she said. Her eyes searched over him like seeking hands, loving hands. She averted her gaze when his eyes lifted. “Janet is kind, and you’ve known her for a very long time.” She swallowed. “She’ll take care of you.”

  His black eyes narrowed on her face. “You never told her that you were planning to seduce me, did you?” he asked pointedly.

  She wouldn’t meet his eyes.

  His fingers wrapped around hers. “She’s followed me all around the world for the past several weeks,” he said. “I haven’t encouraged her. I left Frankfurt a day early to avoid her. She’s persistent. Just as she used to be.” He stood up, so that she had to look up to see him. “Didn’t it occur to you that if I’d wanted to marry her, I’d have done it when we were dating?”

  She bit her lower lip. “Sometimes people don’t see what’s right under their noses,” she said noncommittally.

  “And sometimes they do, just in time,” he replied gently. “I’ve still got your bathing suit,” he said in a casual tone.

  “What?”

  “Your bathing suit. I brought it home in my suitcase. I put it in my closet.”

  Her face was flaming. “What? Why?” she stammered. “You said—”

  “Baby, I said a lot of things,” he interrupted. “I’d do anything to take them back, but it’s too late. Now we have to go forward.”

  She was confused, and it was evident.

  He smiled tenderly. “First things first.” His eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong, Niki? What sent you out into the wilds with Brady without an inhaler or your cell phone?”

  She was scrambling for a lie that would cover the situation when the door swung open and her father walked in with two cups of coffee.

  “Latte for me, cappuccino for you,” he said, handing a cup to Blair. “Sorry, honey, but they’ll string me up if I share it.”

  “Let them string me up.” Blair raised the head of the bed, uncapped his coffee and held it to Niki’s lips. “You always order cappuccino everywhere we go,” he said simply.

  She took a sip, her eyes locked on to his, her heart pounding like a wild thing in her chest. He only smiled.

  Her father pursed his lips and tried not to notice the interaction between them.

  “Thanks,” Niki whispered unsteadily.

  His eyes were on her mouth so intently that she knew exactly what he was thinking. She flushed a little as he stood back up, with that smug, wicked smile on his lips.

  He sipped from the cup exactly where Niki’s lips had touched it, and he did it deliberately and let her see before he turned away.

  “I’ll be right back,” Blair said. “I want to talk to Ed Jacobs.”

  “He doesn’t know any hit men,” her father pointed out.

  “Damn our luck.” Blair grinned, glanced at Niki and walked out.

  “Your erstwhile hiking companion is going to have one hell of a black eye tomorrow,” her father said smugly as he dropped into the chair beside Niki’s bed.

  “Blair is scary when he loses his temper,” Niki said.

  “He never loses it. Not like that. If I hadn’t shown up, it might have ended in a homicide charge. Edna’s sorry, by the way,” he added. “She was so upset that Blair knew something was wrong and wormed it out of her.”

  “It’s all right,” Niki said quietly. She stared toward the doorway with her heart in her eyes. “But it will make things harder.”

  “What things?” her father asked grimly.

  She searched for an answer. “Janet.”

  “Oh. Her.” He shook his head. “Blair’s been trying to get rid of her for two weeks. Hopefully, she’ll get the idea now.”

  “He’s rich and she wants to be. But they were close when his mother was still alive.”

  He leaned forward. “Because his mother wanted them to be, and he did everything he could to make her happy.” He sat up straight. “If Bernice had still been alive, however, Elise would have been out on her ear before she could have gotten her claws into him.” His face hardened. “She’s after him again, too.” He shook his head. “Life is hard.”

  “Then you die,” she said, and laughed. It was a tag line from Dempsey and Makepeace, an old television show that her father had loved. They watched episodes of it together on YouTube.

  “Can I tell you something?” he asked.

  “Sure. What?”

  “Men don’t get that angry at men like Brady without some violent emotions being present.”

  “He’s my friend,” Niki began.

  “No, Niki. Blair’s not just your friend,” Todd said softly. “And you know it.”

  Blair came back into the room just in time to save her from responding.

  “You’re smiling,” Todd said. “Did E
d know a hit man?”

  “He just saw Brady off at the airport.” He pursed his lips as he looked at Niki. “Apparently, he felt he was going to be safer a few states away from me.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  BLAIR REFUSED TO leave the hospital room. One older, belligerent nurse tried to evict him when visiting hours ended, before the other nurses could warn her. He simply picked up his cell phone, called the administrator of the hospital at home and handed the phone to the nurse.

  Flustered and apologetic, she finished her duties and went out again, her face very flushed.

  “You’re very intimidating,” Niki pointed out.

  He shrugged. “I’m not leaving you.” His eyes said that, and more, as they locked on her face. “‘I’m with you to the end of the line,’” he added huskily.

  She smiled as he repeated the line she’d loved from Captain America: The Winter Soldier. She’d seen it with Blair several months ago.

  He nodded and smiled back. “It was a great movie. A true friendship, undaunted by time or circumstance.”

  “I wasn’t really impressed with Captain America until I saw the Avengers movie. I loved him in that, so I went with you to see Cap in his own movie. He’s awesome, like the actor who plays him.”

  “Yes, he is.” He cocked his head at her. “When are you going to trust me enough to share secrets with me?”

  The smile faded. “Some secrets should be kept, Blair,” she said quietly. “Besides, you have enough women in your life right now, don’t you?” she added with a forced laugh.

  “Everyone except the right one,” he replied. “I pushed her out of my life for her own good. See where that got us?”

  She stared at the coverlet, not responding.

  “I can afford to fly the most expensive, famous specialists in the world to Billings to consult on your case,” he said out of the blue. “I won’t even tell your father if you don’t want me to.”

  She bit her lower lip because it was trembling.

  He stood up, leaned over the bed and kissed her cheek. “We’ll talk about it later, when you’re out of here.” He stood up. “I know I’ve given you no reason to trust me lately. But I’ll earn that trust back, if you give me the chance. I’ve never been as miserable in my life as I have since we came back from Mexico, Niki.”

  More tears made a path down her face.

  “If friendship is all you want,” he said huskily, “I’ll try to manage just that. It isn’t what I want. But I can settle for anything that will get you back into my life, in any way.”

  She looked up at him from drowned pale gray eyes, almost silver with the glitter of her tears. “You pushed me away! Said what I felt for you was...demeaning!” she said, repeating what he’d said that hurt most.

  His eyes closed on a wave of guilt. “I lied. God forgive me, I lied to you. Niki, I’m almost thirty-nine years old,” he ground out.

  “What does that have to do with anything?” she asked softly, and seemed really not to know.

  “I’m sixteen years older than you. It will matter one day,” he bit off.

  “To whom?” she asked reasonably. “Not to me.”

  “You’re very young.” He felt torn. “Brady wasn’t the one, but there are nice men your age, Niki. You could still find one who’d love and cherish you, take care of you.”

  “Dan said I’d had too much of that already, that I needed to take care of myself,” she said. “Maybe he was right. I do avoid exercise, and I don’t always eat right.”

  “May I quote Ed Jacobs on that theory?” he asked her. “I might get thrown out of the hospital for language if I repeat exactly what he said. The gist of it is that while exercise and diet and supplements can help, they won’t cure a cureless disease. Least of all his poor daughter’s rheumatoid arthritis or your asthma.”

  She shifted in the bed, not knowing what to say. Blair’s black eyes flashed like lightning. “I wish I’d hit him harder.”

  “Oh, Blair.” She looked at him with soft, sparkling eyes. It was the first time since she’d been airlifted to the hospital that she’d really felt happy.

  He caught his breath at the picture she made. Even with her pale blond hair unwashed and disheveled, her face pale from her experience, she was like sunshine.

  “Maste,” he said, pronouncing it mah-shday.

  “What?” she asked softly.

  “It’s a Lakota word,” he said. “One of my security people is Lakota, from South Dakota. He taught me a little of the language. It means ‘sunshine.’ It’s what I always think of when I think of you.”

  Her eyes brightened. She felt warm from the inside out. She searched over his broad, hard face. “You look so tired.”

  “I’ve been traveling for a long time,” he replied. “Too long, maybe. I went to meetings when I could have delegated. I guess I was trying to outrun my conscience.” He sighed. “Useless, but it gave me something to do while I was tormenting myself.”

  “About what?”

  “You know about what,” he returned. His eyes narrowed as they slid down her body and back up again. “Yes, you know, Niki. One sweet, long taste of you wasn’t enough.”

  She closed her eyes on a silent moan. Then opened them and spoke.

  “Janet told you that was what I was trying to do, with the bathing suit, trying to trick you into a relationship you didn’t want, didn’t she?”

  “She lied. You won’t admit it, but we both know it’s true.”

  Her eyes opened into his and searched them hungrily. “I could never do something so dishonest,” she said simply. “I thought... I thought you knew me better than that.”

  He went to the window, looking out it with anguish in his eyes that he didn’t want her to see. “I told you that I believed her because I needed to.” He touched the blinds. There was a very thin layer of dust. “It gave me a reason to run, to get away from you before I did something I couldn’t take back.”

  She didn’t understand what he was saying. She watched him quietly, curiously.

  He turned back to her. “We’ll save that discussion for another time, though,” he said. “They should be bringing you something to eat soon.”

  “You should go down to the cafeteria and get something for yourself,” she said. “You don’t have to stay here all the time.”

  He moved closer. “I can’t leave you.” The words were simple. What his eyes were saying was far more complex. “I’ll have no peace anywhere else in the world.”

  Tears threatened again. She was a watering pot, probably as a result of her recent trauma. But before she could answer, an aide came in bearing a tray. She pulled the one-armed table over Niki and put the tray down.

  “JELL-O and soup, right?” Niki asked with resignation.

  “Oh, no. Something much nicer.” She lifted the metal lid.

  “Beef stew? It’s my favorite!” Niki enthused. “And strawberry ice cream?”

  The aide exchanged a mischievous smile with Blair. “Well, the administrator thought it would be good for you. Since it’s your favorite food and all,” she teased. “Enjoy.” She left, and Niki’s eyes went to Blair’s face.

  “You wicked man,” she teased.

  The fatigue and worry went out of him at once when he saw that look on her face. He smiled and couldn’t stop smiling. “I just donated a new MRI machine,” he said. “It helps me get a few doctor-approved meal additions.”

  The mention of the machine made her uneasy. The smile faded.

  “Come on, now, don’t let that hard-won meal get cold.” Blair told her gently. Whatever was wrong, he’d find some way to fix it later. No matter what.

  She looked up at him worriedly. “It’s just...”

  He picked up a fork and captured a potato wedge. “Open up,” he whispered, smil
ing.

  She opened her mouth, and he ladled the food into it. She watched him, fascinated, while she ate. He fed her every bite, right down to the small cup of strawberry ice cream they gave her for dessert. She didn’t take her eyes off him the entire time.

  After an aide picked up the tray and she was given her last meds for the day, he covered her gently with the blanket.

  “Try to sleep, honey. I’ll be right here.”

  “You can’t sleep in a chair,” she argued.

  “It’s no use, don’t you know?” he whispered, bending to brush a soft, tantalizing kiss across her mouth. “I won’t leave you. Ever.”

  He kissed the hot tears off her cheeks, sat back down in the chair and linked her fingers with his. He stayed like that until long after she was asleep.

  * * *

  WHEN SHE WOKE the next morning to the sound of bustling noises in the hall, Blair was fast asleep in the chair. A fine growth of beard made his face a little darker. He wasn’t even snoring. When he heard her move, he came awake instantly.

  “I wish you’d go to the house and sleep in a bed,” she said gently, wincing.

  “I’ll go home when you do,” he replied. He got to his feet and stretched. He touched his chin and grinned. “Well, I might go to the house and beg a shave and a bath. But I’ll be back by the time they get through with your bath and breakfast,” he promised. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Don’t try to escape.”

  “Okay.” She was looking at him with soft, wondering eyes.

  He was barely able to make himself walk out the door. In spite of everything he’d done, all the mistakes he’d made, she was forgiving him, loving him all over again. He thanked God for miracles and drove back to the Ashton house.

  * * *

  TODD WAS JUST having breakfast. “How is she?” he asked.

  “Better,” Blair said. “They were getting ready to bathe and feed her, so I thought I’d take advantage of that to have a quick shower and shave.”