THOMAS OPENED HIS eyes and took in his pristine environment—all white everywhere. The walls, the sheets, the bed, even the people were completely dressed in white. It was still hard to get used to, even after being here for several weeks. The doctor says I’m one of the lucky ones, he thought, but how could having polio and being fitted for braces be lucky? He knew his parents would be here soon, for the fitting appointment, so Thomas closed his eyes for the moment and gave in to the exhaustion, which was still so much a part of his waking life.
Thomas only remembered bits and pieces of the entire first week at the hospital, as he had drifted in and out of consciousness. He couldn’t remember much of the following weeks either. He had felt isolated and afraid, and even his parents were only allowed a few minutes of visiting time each day. As a result, he spent the majority of his time alone. Thomas endured day after day of a drug-induced sleep and dreamed peacefully, always the same recurring dream of people calling his name repeatedly. The weeks crawled by, filled with the blur of doctors and nurses, and snippets of hushed conversations that he wasn’t allowed to hear as they came and went, dispensing medicines and therapy to his diseased body.
After a soft knock on the door, the doctor opened it and entered. Then Thomas’s parents followed the doctor in quick succession.
“Hi, Thomas. How are you this morning?” Ma said, as she surveyed him from top to bottom.
“I’m okay, Ma.”
“Son, can we have a talk?” the doctor asked, approaching the bed with Thomas’s parents at his side.
Thomas nodded. “All right, shoot.” Even talking was tiring. And his eyelids felt like they were made of lead. He struggled to open them multiple times as he tried to tune into what the doctor had to say. But, as the doctor spoke, Thomas felt himself fading. His body was still already, but now his mind just shut down. Finally he couldn’t fight it any longer.
In the silence, he heard his name called. Then again, over and over. Thomas homed in on the voice. Not a family member. Not a familiar voice at all. It was no one he knew; he struggled to make out the words that came to him as a garbled random conversation but yet had a rhythm, almost songlike. The activity in his head lulled him into a peaceful limbo that felt comfortable and safe. And here he resided.
Thomas willed his eyelids to open, and he saw his ma in the chair, rocking as she sewed. “Hi, Ma. Where did the doctor go?”
“Hello there, honey,” she said, immediately setting aside her sewing and coming to his side. She smiled, grabbing his hand and softly squeezing it. “He’s come and gone several times. You have been completely out of it for two days.”
“Two days? How could that be? I closed my eyes for a few minutes. That’s all I remember.” Thomas felt a shiver as panic took over. “What has happened to me?”
“Calm down, sweetheart. The doctor said this can happen in some cases. It’s just your body trying to recover, heal, and conserve energy. As you regain your strength, these…lapses won’t happen as frequently. The good thing is, you’re on the road to recovery. The infection is now dormant, the doctors said, and your muscles will recover with time and special exercises.”
Ma stopped momentarily and studied her son, then placed a hand on his cheek. Seemingly satisfied, she continued. “Your sisters miss you so much. Three weeks is such a long time, and you know they haven’t been allowed to see you. They have been so worried, but we thought it best that they not come here. And the most wonderful part is,” she said, as she paused in anticipation, “you will be home in two days as long as the braces for your legs fit as they should.”
Thomas looked away, fighting the tears welling up inside. Yes, lucky. I know, everyone keeps reminding me but braces…? Funny, I don’t feel lucky. “Did the doctor say how long I would have to wear those…braces? I don’t remember much about what he said.”
“No, Thomas,” Ma replied as she sat on the bed. “We don’t know that just yet. But, as your muscles get stronger over time, we’ll know much more.”
Not trusting himself to look directly at his mother as he spoke, he continued. “That seems like an answer doctors say when they don’t know anything.” Thomas quietly stifled a sob. “I don’t want to be a cripple, Ma. And I’m really scared.”
Ma’s voice was calm and reassuring when she spoke next. “Thomas, you’re here and alive, and you are one of the lucky ones! You will still have some effects from the disease, but you will get your strength back. The weakness will eventually subside, and you will live a normal life.”
Thomas felt his ma’s warm embrace as his tears flowed that he didn’t try to stop. Rocking back and forth, he finally accepted his fate. And, knowingly this time, he let himself drift to sleep. “Ma,” Thomas whispered, “thanks for being here.”
“Where else would I be?”
“Night, Ma.”
“Night, Thomas. Sweet dreams.”
Thomas slept soundly that night and woke with the dawn. He knew the only way out was to get those contraptions on his legs. His energy returned. Thomas felt hopeful for the first time in weeks, and he was anxious to get the fitting done and over with. The sooner, the better. He glanced to the bedside table and noticed his comic books. Oh, I’ve missed these, he thought, as he grabbed one and slowly caught up on the latest. He combed through the pages, absorbing every word. A picture caught his eye, and he stared, astonished at its detail. Here was his hero, Buck Rogers, outfitted for space, and what was that on his boots? Yes, if one looked closely, his boots appeared to be outlined in metal or some form of brace. Thomas smiled. This is a sign. A sign things will get better. A sign from my hero that I can do great things.
His parents opened the door. “Thomas, you’re awake. How are you feeling this morning?” Ma asked.
“Better, Ma. Really I am. Let’s get this brace thing finished so I can go home. I leave tomorrow, right?”
His parents’ gazes locked, and they shared a smile. “Yes, the doctor feels you can go home tomorrow as long as you can show them some initial progress with the brace,” Ma said.
“Let’s go, Ma, Pa. I’m ready,” Thomas said energetically. “I’m busting outta this place tomorrow.”
Thomas laughed, feeling a little silly, but, as he watched his parents, he saw the proudest look he had seen there in a long time, and it was for him, just for him.
BELLE TIPTOED UPSTAIRS quietly so she didn’t wake Thomas. She paused, hand on the door frame as she peered around the corner. “Thomas…? Thomas, you awake?” she whispered.
“Yeah. Of course I am. Come on in, squirt.”
“Ma said you just finished up some exercises. You resting now? Did they hurt you?” Belle asked tentatively.
“No, I’m fine. Just a little sore, but I’m getting stronger. I can tell.”
“That’s good, Thomas. Can I come sit with you?”
“Sure, I’m just reading my comics for a while.”
“Maybe we could play cards?” Belle beamed.
Thomas smiled. She really was enjoying learning to “play” cards. They had spent a lot of time together, so Thomas had taught Belle a few card games. She already knew Go Fish. Now she was learning War and Rummy.
“Okay,” Thomas said, as he reached for the cards on the bedside table. “Let’s play War.” As he grabbed the cards, Thomas noticed his special rock, sitting by the lamp. “Belle, you never told me where you found this rock. And what makes it special to you?” he asked. “It’s really neat and kinda shaped like a heart. It even looks reddish.”
Bell shifted in her spot on the bed. “Oh, I found it by the creek. You know, on the way to school. It was close to the edge, and the water flowing over it in the sun made it look really beautiful.” Belle’s eyes sparkled with excitement as she spoke, then her face fell as she looked down. “It was really beautiful, Thomas. But something happened after I picked it up. I was flipping it over in my hands, to see the whole thing. I could make out the shape and red color, but it was still so slippery, it fell and hit another rock at m
y feet and broke in half.”
Thomas saw Belle’s eyes fill with tears. He didn’t realize this special rock had such a story. “But, Belle, it is still pretty. Look.” Thomas showed her the rock she had given him weeks ago.
“Yes, yes. I know. But that’s not everything, Thomas. See?” Visibly frustrated with herself, Belle dug into her own pocket and pulled out another rock. It was different but the same. Thomas reached for it and realized he held the mirror image of his rock. And it had broken in half. He took his rock and Belle’s, and fitted them together. Now he understood. It formed a perfect heart. The rock, now whole, looked much more like a heart, rounded and smooth with the noticeable V in the top center. Indeed almost faultless.
“Belle, don’t be upset. You never told me the rock you gave me had a companion. This is really neat. Two hearts made from one. I love it, and it’s even more special knowing that you have half.”
Belle’s eyes twinkled as she looked at Thomas. “I thought you might be mad if you knew I gave you a broken rock. But I loved it so much that I wanted you to have it. When it broke, I was really sad. But I still wanted you to have it, so you would know I loved you always,” she said, beaming back at him.
He was touched and thought carefully before speaking again. “You know, in a way these two pieces of one rock bind us together. I mean, we’re family already, but this is deeper, special. I’ll keep it with me all the time. I’ve never had anything quite like this.”
Belle grinned from ear to ear, seeing that Thomas was happy, happier than he had been in weeks, all because of something she had done. She reached over and hugged her brother until he squirmed. Now they had something that the two of them shared, theirs alone.
“You ready for cards?” Thomas asked.
“Sure,” Belle replied, “and maybe I’ll even win this one.”
“I doubt it, but you can try.” Thomas chuckled.
As they played, Thomas thought of his little sister, watching her as she dived into the game, so focused, intent on winning. We do truly have a connection. She is a special child, and seems to know what people need and how to comfort them. She instinctively realizes when people are in pain and works to ease that pain. And she has taken away part of mine.
Thomas felt a strange sensation. He looked over at his sister, still happily playing with her cards. His mind started to cloud, and his head swam, while he looked to Belle, trying to focus.
“Thomas, are you okay? You look funny.”
Thomas glanced at the deck of cards, and they faded in and out as his vision blacked out. Thomas was taken aback and shook his head side to side to clear this mind.
“No, Belle, can we finish later? I’m kinda tired all a sudden. I’m gonna rest a while.”
“Sure, I guess. Are you just doing this ’cause I’m finally winning?”
Thomas shook his head. “No, keep the cards as they are. Just put them on the table. We’ll pick up where we left off.”
“Okay. You betcha!”
Belle slipped off the bed, carefully placing the two stacks of cards nearby, then bounded from the room with a wave and a smile.
Thomas leaned back, as the wave of dizziness worsened. His arms and legs felt weak and unsteady. Where is this coming from? Thomas wondered. I haven’t felt like this since the hospital. Thomas let his eyes close, while familiar images flashed before his field of vision…and rows and rows of beds filled his mind. Where am I? Am I dreaming? Thomas thought. If so, why can’t I wake up? He scanned to the very end of the row and spotted again the vision of himself and others screaming out in agony. He strained to hear what was being said. Reading their lips, he made out one word. Run!
WHAT A DIFFERENCE a few weeks can make, Elizabeth thought. Thomas has polio and our family, while grateful for his ongoing recovery, is distraught. Elizabeth was worried about her only son, worried that he was continuing into a depression that began with the knowledge of his disease—or maybe even before. How life has changed, she thought, as she reviewed the most recent weeks. In the two weeks since Thomas’s homecoming, the family had settled into a “new” normal. This “normal” involved more medicines than any one person should have to endure, endless exercising of weakened limbs, continual doctor visits, and daily battles with Thomas to interact with the outside world.
The school year now over for her son, not even that diversion was available for Thomas. Elizabeth’s face fell. She knew the doctors projected no less than a full year with the braces—most likely more—but she couldn’t bring herself to tell her son this, not in his current frame of mind. The treatment was promising, but to a fifteen-year-old, almost sixteen-year-old boy, a year was like a lifetime. In three short weeks Thomas would be sixteen. Elizabeth intended to make this a special day, filled with good food and a few select friends. She wanted to help him envision his future—one eventually without braces. His spirits must be kept high. He needs to see a path to his future.
“Ma?” Mary interrupted. “You seemed a lifetime away.”
Elizabeth picked up her coffee cup and took a sip from her drink that had gone cold. “Yes, I guess I was. It takes time to absorb all the changes our family has gone through,” she said, a smile pasted on her face.
“I’m sorry, Ma. Would you like for me leave? I didn’t mean to intrude on your quiet time. You have so little.”
“No, absolutely not. Sit down. I’d love to have some company,” she said, patting her firstborn daughter’s hand which had landed on her shoulder.
“How about I warm up your coffee?” Mary said, as she moved to the stove to retrieve the coffeepot warming there.
“Thank you, dear.”
Mary poured for her mother, then grabbed a cup for herself, sliding in next to her.
“Mary, I don’t think I’ve properly thanked you for all you’ve done the past few weeks,” she said. “Your father and I have been preoccupied with your brother, and we’ve left everything here at home to fall on you. That was quite unfair.”
“Ma, no. I feel so helpless. I just wish there were more I could do. You both have been where you needed to be.”
“More? Mary, you have worked in town, also taking care of Belle, preparing food, and keeping this household going these past few weeks. I’m amazed at all you’ve accomplished,” Elizabeth said, her weary eyes filling with tears.
“It’s okay to accept help, Ma. He’s my brother. I want to do all I can. Any small amount I earn, I’d like to go to help pay some of the hospital bills. It must be a lot of money, and my little bit won’t go far, but I want to contribute.”
Elizabeth gasped as she held back her tears, and Mary enveloped her in a hug.
“It means so much, Mary,” Elizabeth said softly. “These are not the things that should fill your head at this point in your life.”
A kerthumpty, thump, thump, broke through their somber conversation. Mary and Elizabeth looked at each other with a smile. Elizabeth wiped her face as Belle came bounding down the stairs and appeared in the kitchen.
“Hi, Ma.”
“Hello, dear. How’s Thomas doing?”
“Okay, I guess. He said he wanted to rest. I think he needs to get up and move around.”
“He still does need a lot of rest. We must be patient,” Elizabeth explained.
“Don’t you think it’d be good for him to come down and be with us, just for a little while?” Belle whined.
Mary and Elizabeth exchanged a silent glance, and, after an imperceptible nod from Elizabeth, Mary rose.
“Let me go check on him,” Mary said. “If he’s not asleep, I’ll help him down the steps to the kitchen.”
Belle smiled back. “Ma, can we fix a snack for him?”
“Ah, so that is what this is all about. Sounds like the old Thomas. Did he put you up to this?”
“No, Ma, honest,” she replied solemnly, wide-eyed as she shook her head.
Elizabeth watched her youngest child intently. Her involvement in her son’s recovery had been every bit as real as t
he medicine he received. Belle’s devotion to Thomas was without exception and never-ending. She would do anything for him. No struggle too large, no problem too big to tackle. She was tenacious and a fighter on his behalf.
“Absolutely we can,” Elizabeth said, as she rose to prepare some refreshments. “Come give me a hand, will you?” Belle jumped up, eager to help, and followed her to the counter to retrieve the cookies they had made the day before.
It wasn’t long before they heard the clunk, screech, clunk, screech, that told them Thomas was headed down the stairs. The noise got louder as the two older siblings neared the kitchen. Elizabeth and Belle finished their preparations just as Mary appeared around the corner, her arm around Thomas’s waist, guiding him, shouldering part of his weight.
“Where are your crutches?” Elizabeth asked.
Thomas looked up, out of breath from descending the stairs.
“I just thought I’d give this a try, since I was only coming to the kitchen. Maybe that was a bad idea,” he said sheepishly.
“You’re okay,” Mary encouraged.
From the doorway where they stood, Thomas looked at Mary, then to his Ma. “Let me walk to the table without you guys’ help. I can do it. I made it across the room upstairs.”
Mary furrowed her brow and threw her mother a questioning glance.
“Okay, Thomas, go ahead,” Elizabeth said. “Mary will be right behind you. Just reach out to her if you need her.”
With a clank and screech, clank and screech, Thomas smiled with satisfaction, completing the first step. Mary held out her hand tentatively, ready to catch him, as Belle smiled encouragingly, waiting for him at his chair.
Elizabeth’s throat constricted, and she fought her tears, as she was thrown instantly back to Thomas’s first steps as a baby. Unprepared for the raw emotion, she stifled a sob, and Belle gazed toward her, a look of concern on her face. Mentally Elizabeth wasn’t able to process this picture. Would they have this far to go all over again, from infancy to teenage years? It put everything into perspective.
Remeon's Destiny Page 4