Thomas navigated the final few steps across the kitchen to the table and plopped down, drained of energy. Mary, Belle, and Elizabeth let out a collective sigh of relief as Thomas landed safely in the chair.
“See? What did I tell you?” Thomas said, as he gasped for breath, worn out from his short trek.
“Great job, Thomas,” Elizabeth said. Belle clapped eagerly. “Now how about that food?”
“I’m ready,” Thomas replied. “See? I’m getting stronger.”
The foursome downed their cookies and coffee—milk for Belle—and Mary propped up Thomas’s legs on a chair as they continued talking.
“Thomas, would you like us to bring your comic books or the cards down here, so you can continue your game with Belle?” Mary asked.
“Uh-oh,” Belle said, as she turned her head toward Thomas. “Lookie there.”
Elizabeth and Mary checked Thomas more closely—with his head back on the chair, his arms loosely hanging over the sides, his breath coming in even bursts. His eyes were shut.
“Shhh. It’s all right. Let him rest there a little while. The short journey really took all his energy,” Elizabeth said.
“Pa would be proud,” Mary added, smiling.
“Yes, he would be,” Elizabeth added, wondering, indeed, if it were true if these little victories would matter to him.
Elizabeth was aware that her husband’s burden was heavy where Thomas was concerned. Their father-and-son confrontation earlier in the night before Thomas’s illness had presented itself had caused James endless days of heartbreak, but he was suffering quietly. She was keenly aware that her husband didn’t want to share this with her. However, James keeping this to himself caused both her son and husband to go down very similar paths, although also very divergent and confining as well. She worried that she was losing ground to a depression that threatened to isolate her from her husband. He had even taken on odd jobs in town on Saturdays, their only full day together, in order to support their family and their growing debt. Elizabeth desperately prayed that they would find a way through this harrowing time. Her main focus and energy had to be on her children now. She and her husband had to take a backseat.
JAMES SURVEYED THE garden with a critical eye. From a distance he could see a carpet of green covering the field in straight lines that stood at attention, fighting the gentle breeze. It’s really progressing nicely. James admired the fruits of his labor, while he stood back and adjusted the wide brimmed hat low on his brow. The sun beat down on his sweat-drenched back, as he stooped down to check the tender young plant growth. Up and down again he walked, wearing down a path between the rows, determined to verify the health of his crops.
Lots of measurable rain in late April after planting early in the month had helped the growth process along. All indications were that the corn, beans, barley, oats, and wheat would come in right on schedule, God willing.
James worked in silence, tending and weeding the young seedlings. His thoughts turned to Thomas. This was not the spring I had planned. This was to be the year that Thomas and I worked as a team, the year that Thomas would really feel what it was like to do a man’s job and experience the ultimate reward when crops were brought to harvest. But this was not to be. Not this year anyhow. Hobbling around in braces in the field just wouldn’t work. He was simply too weak. It will take weeks and months of therapy for Thomas to be back up to speed for work on the farm, if ever.
James glanced at his hired hand. He only hired this one for the day, just to help with the weeding and fertilizing on the schedule. The less help to pay for, the better, but, for plans to come to fruition, timing was everything, and every step must be true to the master schedule. To a farmer, proper planning and timing were everything. Those were under his control. Mother Nature and life-altering illnesses were not.
In the heat of the noonday sun, James stopped for a drink of water that Elizabeth had brought to him earlier. He let out an exasperated sigh and wiped his forehead. As he shook his head back and forth, he struggled to concentrate on the tasks at hand. He could do nothing to make this better. I’m supposed to fix things. I make wrongs right, except in this case.
He was still plagued by the looks from the hospital staff after Thomas had been admitted that awful night, and they had seen the stripes on his back. His son had deserved to be punished. So why did he feel so repulsed by himself, so responsible for the whole horrible night?
He had not allowed himself to dwell too much on Thomas. It was too painful, too fresh. At first he was afraid for his son’s life. Then, as it became clearer that Thomas would pull through, James wondered what kind of life his son would have. Would he be confined to a bed, wheelchair, or some other apparatus? And what kind of life would that be? All their hopes and dreams for their son were destroyed.
James shielded his eyes, while he turned his head toward the sky, squinting in the bright light. Gauging by the sun, the day is half over. He waved the day-worker to follow him to receive his supper. James walked to the house, making a mental checklist of the chores to complete before the end of the day.
When he walked into the kitchen, his senses came alive with the blending of aromas and mingling of fresh ingredients that confirmed supper was ready. After a full morning of work in the field, he was famished. James washed up and took the plate and drink prepared for the day-worker to the porch where he sat, waiting, just as eager to eat, James knew, as himself. After filling the day-worker’s glass with water, James left the man to his supper and to relax in peace. James sat at the kitchen table and said grace, then ate his fill of the chicken casserole Elizabeth had made, slowly savoring each bite. In addition his plate was piled high with freshly made rolls and green beans seasoned to perfection. Cherry pie rounded out the meal.
“How is Thomas today?” James asked, helping himself to a second piece of pie. “I had hoped maybe he would come down to supper.”
“I believe he’s doing well,” Elizabeth responded. “He’s had a full morning of exercising and reading, then some cards with Belle. And I think he’s a bit tired at the moment. I’ll take him his supper in just a little while.”
Belle chimed in, “He’s just exhausted,” she said, with a broad smile forming on her lips.
James glanced at Elizabeth, expecting to see her enjoyment of Belle’s word choice, and knew he wasn’t mistaken when he saw worry on her face instead.
Even though most people couldn’t see how the extra stress affected her, James knew his wife. She shouldered a lot of the burden for Thomas’s care, and his ups and downs affected her immensely. He longed for the normalcy of their prior life.
I want all my children at the table. And I want Mary home with the rest of us, not working constantly. I want to be enough to meet our family’s needs. Me and that’s all. That’s the way the Creator intended it to be. James let out a heavy sigh as his anxiety got the better of him. He felt truly powerless. His inner demons gnawed at him, threatening to consume his waking hours.
Elizabeth’s voice roused him back to the conversation. “I saw Joe’s family in town yesterday as we did the shopping,” she said. “I think he’s planning to visit Thomas today. Won’t it be good for him to talk to one of his friends? It’s been more than a month since he has spent time with someone his own age, and, now that the doctors have said all danger is past with no more risk of exposure, I thought this would be great medicine for him. You do agree, don’t you, dear? He has missed his friends, especially Joe.”
James nodded. “Yes, yes, I think that’s fine, although his time might be better spent on his exercises.” James paused. “Maybe, Elizabeth, if Joe could get him out of the house and in the fresh air, possibly on the porch or even for a short walk, that might really do him some good after all.”
“That’s a great idea, James. We’ll try it. Outside it is. They won’t be far at all, and I’ll be close at hand. He’ll be within my vision at all times. Let’s see how Thomas feels about it.”
“I’m back to work
, Elizabeth,” James said with a forced cheerfulness and a quick kiss to her cheek.
Hopefully seeing his friend would do his son some good, but, when it came down to it, his son needed the will to fight his way back to full health. And ultimately that was a fight that Thomas would do alone. Anything less than that would not cut it.
THOMAS HEARD A knock at the door. He dreaded Joe’s visit. His ma told him how good it would be for him. Ugh. What a buncha bull. It’ll be the last straw if my best friend treats me like I have the plague. Thomas loudly navigated the unending trek down the stairs. Through the motions of a long drag, clunk, clunk, Thomas maneuvered each step with growing skill. He landed on the last step and moved around the corner just before he saw his ma put down her sewing to answer the door.
“Well, good afternoon, Joe. So nice to see you,” his ma said as she welcomed Joe inside.
“Hello, Mrs. Stewart. Uh, good to see you as well.”
Elizabeth followed Joe’s line of vision, as it honed in on Thomas, standing in the hall doorway with his braces.
Thomas spoke up first. “Yeah, take a good long look and get used to it, ’cause I’m apparently stuck with these for a while.”
Joe averted his gaze.
“Sorry, Thomas. It’s just that…I’m not used to being this close to someone who has polio, and my mom—she didn’t want me to come actually.”
“Well, I had polio. I’m not contagious anymore. I’m just dealing with the aftereffects now. And I will be for some time, so the doctors tell me. So just go ahead and leave if you wanna. It’s fine with me. Wouldn’t want to scare you or nothin’, you chicken!” Thomas imitated a chicken walk the best he could with braces on, arms flapping, then turned to leave. He caught the surprised look from his mother across the room and saw her trying not to laugh. This attitude was sickening. Everyone was afraid of him since he had returned home from the hospital.
Ma spoke up. “Joe, if you’re uncomfortable in any way, feel free to leave, but he isn’t contagious. We have confirmed that with the doctors. We do want our family to be safe and healthy as well.”
“Um, yes, ma’am, but I’d really like to stay. As I said, my mom feels that way, not me. Hold up, Thomas… Can I come with you?”
“Do what you want. I don’t care,” Thomas said, as he started back up the stairs.
“Hey, stay down here a minute. We could play some cards or here, see? I brought some comic books for you. We’d have more room down here. And, just so you know, I’m not afraid. It’s just different that’s all.”
Thomas looked to see the comic books Joe was holding in his hands, and Thomas realized he really did want to see those—and maybe even talk to Joe, if he wasn’t being such an ass. “Well, maybe, if you think you can breathe the same air as me without falling over dead. You know, you might just not live through this encounter, you idiot.”
“Okay, I guess I deserved that. Now come on. There’s more room down here to spread out. And I wanna show you the newer ones I just got today.”
Ma let out an audible sigh.
“Yeah, you just want to make sure there’s plenty of room so you don’t have to sit too close to me, chicken shit,” Thomas muttered under his breath. “You, of all people.”
“I guess I deserved that too.” Joe crossed the short distance between them and came up behind Thomas, picking him up, braces and all.
“Here now, is this close enough, or do you want me to kiss you too?”
“Put me down, ugly, and, no, I do not.”
Joe put Thomas down carefully on the couch.
“It’d probably be the only kiss you’ve had,” Thomas added, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Actually you already know I’m pretty popular with the ladies,” Joe added in a wistful, dramatic tone as he plopped down on the couch beside Thomas.
“How about some pie for you boys? I have leftover cherry from supper.”
“I’ll have some, Ma. Thanks.”
“Me too,” Joe replied.
Elizabeth nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.
Joe and Thomas perused the comic books and talked in hushed tones.
Elizabeth returned with two slices of pie, then let them be, as the two devoured their dessert.
When he was sure she was out of ear shot, Joe piped up, his mouth full. “I was sure you had changed your mind and deserted me, you know?”
“I told you I wouldn’t do that.”
“I came here that night, the night we were to leave, when you never showed up. They were taking you to the hospital.”
“Yeah, I don’t remember any of that.”
“Well, what now? What are your plans?”
Thomas looked from Joe to his own legs and braces, not sure what to say.
“Did your parents ever find out? You know. What you did, the money?” Thomas asked.
“No, they didn’t. After I left here, I went home. I put it all back. They were still at my cousin’s house, so they never found out. I was hoping we could just delay leaving by a few days.” He gestured to Thomas’s legs. “Obviously that won’t happen.”
“Obviously.”
“Well, maybe we can still join up together. You know, the marines. You would just need…a desk job.”
“Sounds almost as exciting as farming,” Thomas said sarcastically.
“Or just leave and find a job. See parts of the world we would never see.”
“I don’t know. That all depends on these bum legs of mine,” Thomas said, as he pointed to the braces. “My plans haven’t changed. They just may be delayed somewhat. I’m saving my allowance, but that’s only small change compared to the money I’ll need to live while I look for a job.”
“My dad’s gonna pay me this year to work on the farm,” Joe replied. “He said, since I’ll be doing a man’s share of the work, then I’ll get a small wage. It probably won’t be much. But it’s a start.”
Thomas’s face fell. Well, good for you. You’ll be on your way then, and I’ll be stuck here, dependent on my family for everything. Thomas remembered the conversation he had had with his pa that now seemed like ages ago, that morning in the barn, followed by that awful night in the barn. Pa had wanted to give Thomas more responsibility. Possibly Pa would have considered paying Thomas a small wage as well. Maybe he had been short-sighted. Maybe more responsibility could have meant money which would help him reach his goal. He had really messed up that day, not that it mattered at all now. His whole world had changed later that very evening.
“You need to make plans without me. Who knows what I’ll be able to do? Doctors say I’ll be fine. They just don’t know how long it will be before all my muscle strength returns,” Thomas said dejectedly.
“Ah, let’s just wait and see how it goes,” Joe said, giving Thomas a shove. “It will take me a while to save money, a long while. My pa’s not gonna make me rich or nothin’. It will be just a small wage. But I’ll save it, and we can keep planning,” Joe said.
“Yeah. Sure. We’ll wait and see,” Thomas echoed, not looking Joe in the face.
It is just another thing in a long list of things that I can’t keep doing all because of this dumb disease. My life is on hold, while everyone else’s is moving ahead, even Joe’s. Where will I go from here? What exactly will I do with my life if I don’t get better?
A feeling of dread formed in the pit of his stomach, and his hands started to sweat as he thought about his future. My life will never be the same. He glanced back to Joe, who was still jabbering away, and then to the kitchen where his ma was. What am I going to do?
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL warm day for mid-May, Elizabeth thought. It will be the perfect day for a birthday party. I have looked forward to this day, almost as much as Thomas. His spirits need a lift. All our spirits need a lift. Thomas is sixteen today and officially a man. Elizabeth thought back on his first fifteen years. Thirteen through sixteen are so important in a young man’s quest for ultimate independence. So much learning and self-discovery happ
ens during these years. But every boy needs a mentor, be it a father, uncle, relative, friend, or neighbor to accompany him over the bridge into manhood. James is that person. I can only encourage. In the end, a man must show him how it’s done.
Impatient with herself, Elizabeth sighed deeply. Since Thomas’s illness, and after the initial hospital stay and confinement, James had pulled away from their son, creating a distance that increased daily. It was little things at first. She had mentioned this to him on several occasions, and each time he dismissed the conversation as false, citing different times he had spent with his son. The truth was, it was more of an unconscious turning away, a slight closing of the door to a situation where he had no control. James could not do a thing to “fix” the current predicament, so he was shutting himself off from it.
Normally a father and son did active things together, like working side by side, hunting, traveling, thus, over time, effectively “apprenticing” the young man. James and Thomas had done all these things since Thomas was very young as a natural course of parenting and running a family-owned farm. Now, some of these avenues were closed, creating a wide gap that grew bigger daily. Both were missing it, and neither fully realized it.
Thomas’s braces were clumsy to deal with and difficult to incorporate into daily life, much less farm life. This was a fact. As a result, lately there had been very little fun activities. It simply must happen; too much was at stake. Thomas’s depression seemed to be worsening by the day, and the family needed to be proactive in making sure he participated in as many activities as possible.
Mary and Belle were excited to be in charge of the decorations for the birthday party. Elizabeth caught bits of conversation coming from the dining room, mingled with outbursts of giggles. She smiled; preparations were still in full swing. Laughter was a welcome addition to the household. It had not been a part of their daily lives for what seemed like an eternity. For now Elizabeth was glad she and James had decided to limit the party to family and a few close friends. Today they wanted Thomas to feel comfortable, not self-conscious. This wouldn’t happen if people were here who had not visited Thomas recently and who were not already accustomed to seeing him in braces. While his condition couldn’t be forgotten, all could certainly be at ease around him so he could enjoy the day.
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