the STRUGGLE

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Allen chuckled and patted his stomach. “That might be a good idea, because I feel kind of faint. Of course,” he quickly added, “it probably has more to do with the excitement I feel about you accepting my proposal than it does with my need for food. It isn’t exactly how I wanted to propose; I had this big long speech I’d practiced for days that I was gonna give on Christmas Eve.”

  She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Your proposal was perfect—simple and sweet. Now, take a seat and relax while I get some bacon and eggs cooking, and then I’ll tell you about the woman who showed up here after you left on Christmas Eve.”

  “The one good thing about being snowed in like this is that it’s given us more time to spend with the kinskinner,” Abraham said to Fannie as they stood in front of the window in Samuel’s guest room, looking out at Marla and Leon, who were in the yard tossing snowballs at each other and giggling.

  “You’re right about that,” she said with a nod. “And even though I miss our grandchildren at home, I’ve enjoyed being here with Samuel’s four kinner and Timothy’s little Mindy.” She sighed deeply. “It’s just too bad they have to live so far away, which means we can’t see them very often.”

  Abraham grunted. “Now, don’t waste time on trivial matters.”

  “It’s not a trivial matter to me. I miss my boys and their families.”

  “I understand that, because so do I, but it won’t do any good for you to start feeling sorry for yourself. We’ll come here to visit whenever we can, and I’m sure that our boys will bring their families to Pennsylvania as often as they can, too.”

  “Humph!” Fannie frowned. “I doubt that’ll happen too often. With Suzanne most likely expecting a boppli, she and Titus will probably stick close to home. And as busy as Samuel seems to be, I’ll bet we won’t see him before he and Esther are married—whenever that’s going to be.” She folded her arms. “Then there’s Timothy, who might never come back to Pennsylvania to see us.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Think about it, Abraham. He moved here to get his wife away from her interfering mamm. If he takes his family home for a visit, Hannah will want to stay, and then Timothy will have an even bigger problem on his hands.”

  Abraham quirked an eyebrow. “Bigger problem?”

  She nudged his arm. “He already has a problem with a wife who does nothing but complain and doesn’t want to be here. To tell you the truth, I don’t think she wants us here either.”

  “Now, Fannie, you shouldn’t be saying things like that.”

  “Why not? It’s the truth. Hannah’s just not accepting of me the way our other daughters-in-law are. She rarely makes conversation, and when she does say something to me, it’s usually a negative comment or she’s expressing her displeasure with something I’ve done.”

  “Now what could you possibly have done to upset Hannah?” he asked.

  “For one thing, just a little while ago she became upset when I was about to give Mindy some Christmas candy.” Fannie sighed deeply. “It’s not like I was going to give her the whole box or anything; it was just one piece.”

  “Well, Hannah is the child’s Mudder, and it’s her right to decide when and if Mindy should have candy.”

  “But it’s not fair that Mindy’s cousins got to have a piece of candy and she didn’t.” Fannie moved away from the window. “I wish Timothy had never married Hannah. She’s selfish, envious, and too overprotective where Mindy’s concerned. She even wanted me to convince Timothy to move back to Pennsylvania.”

  Abraham’s brows shot up. “Really? What’d you say?”

  “Told her I couldn’t—that Timothy wouldn’t appreciate it.” Fannie sighed. “You know, Abraham, Timothy and Hannah’s marriage is already strained, and it makes me wonder if things will get worse in the days ahead.” She clasped Abraham’s arm. “I just have this strange feeling about Timothy and Hannah. Of all our Kinner, he’s the one I’m the most worried about. Timothy and Hannah certainly need a lot of prayer.”

  CHAPTER 25

  For the next several days, the bad weather prevailed. But by Monday, the snow had finally stopped and the roads were clear enough to drive on, so Abraham, Fannie, and their driver left for home. Hannah felt relieved, because Fannie was beginning to get on her nerves. Not only that, but Samuel’s kids had been noisier than usual with their grandparents here, always vying for their attention and begging Abraham for candy, gum, and horsey rides. Mindy had also been whiny and often begged for candy and other things Hannah didn’t want her to have. If that wasn’t bad enough, it had sickened Hannah to see the way Esther acted around Fannie—so sweet and catering to her every whim. Was she trying to make an impression, or did she really enjoy visiting with Fannie that much?

  Maybe it’s because Esther’s folks live in Pennsylvania, Hannah thought as she stared out the living-room window. Is it possible that Esther misses her Mamm as much as I do mine?

  “As much as I hate to say this,” Timothy said, slipping his arm around Hannah’s waist, “Samuel and I have a paint job in Oak Grove this morning, and our driver just pulled in, so I need to get going.”

  Hannah squinted at the black van. “That doesn’t look like Allen’s rig.”

  “You’re right; it’s not. We won’t be working for Allen today. This house is one Samuel lined up on his own, so he called Bob Hastings for a ride because his vehicle is big enough to haul all our painting equipment.”

  “Oh, I see.” Hannah turned to look at Timothy. “Do you have any idea how long you’ll be working today?”

  He shrugged. “It’ll probably be seven or eight before we get back home. Since we’ve been hired to paint the whole interior of the house and the owners would like it done by the end of the week, we’ll need to put in a long day.”

  Hannah sighed. “It’s my turn to cook supper this evening, so would you like me to fix it a little later than usual?”

  He shook his head. “You and the kids should go ahead and eat. Maybe you can keep something warm in the oven for Samuel and me, though.”

  “Sure, I can do that.”

  When Timothy went out the door, Hannah headed for the kitchen, where Esther was doing the breakfast dishes.

  “Would you like me to dry?” Hannah asked.

  Esther turned from the sink and smiled. “That’d be nice.”

  Hannah grabbed a clean dish towel and picked up one of the plates in the dish drainer. “It seems quiet in here with Fannie and Abraham gone, Samuel and Timothy off to work, and Samuel’s two oldest kinner at school,” she said.

  “Jah, but I kind of miss all the excitement.”

  Hannah couldn’t imagine that. She preferred peace and quiet over noise and chaos. She was actually glad Christmas was over.

  They worked quietly for a while; then Hannah broke the silence with a question that had been on her mind. “Do you miss not living close to your mamm?”

  “Of course I do.” Esther placed another clean plate in the drainer. “But I know Mom and Dad are needed in Pennsylvania so they can help my brother and his family. I also know that my place is here.”

  “How can you be sure of that?”

  “Because this is where Samuel lives, and I love him very much.”

  “So love is what’s keeping you here?”

  “Jah. That, and the fact that this is my home. I mean, I like it here in Kentucky, but if Samuel wanted to move back to Pennsylvania after we got married, I’d be willing to move there, too.”

  “So I guess that means I should have been willing to move here because it’s what Timothy wanted?” Hannah couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

  “A wife’s place is with her husband,” Esther said. “It’s as simple as that.”

  Hannah cringed. Maybe a wife’s place was with her husband, but wasn’t the husband supposed to care about his wife’s needs and wishes, too?

  “Are you sure you don’t mind taking me to the airport this afternoon? I feel bad asking you to drive after
the snowy weather we’ve had these last few days,” Bonnie’s dad said as the two of them sat in the living room enjoying the warmth of the fireplace.

  “Of course I don’t mind, and since the roads are pretty well cleared, I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

  “Excuse me,” Trisha said, entering the room with her suitcase in hand. “I wanted to let you know that I’m ready to head out, so if you’ll print out my bill, I’ll settle up with you now.”

  “Where will you be going from here?” Bonnie asked, leading the way to her desk in the foyer.

  “Since my friend and her husband from Bowling Green are still away, I won’t be stopping there. So I’ll probably head for Virginia and check out some of the sights that I’ve read about.”

  “This sure isn’t a good time of year to be traveling anywhere by car,” Dad called from the other room. “Maybe you should head back to California.”

  Trisha looked at Bonnie and rolled her eyes. “He always did like to tell me what to do,” she whispered.

  Bonnie smiled. That didn’t surprise her one bit, because Dad was a take-charge kind of guy.

  Once Trisha’s bill had been taken care of, she stepped into the living room and said good-bye to Dad.

  “Have a safe trip,” he mumbled.

  Trisha hesitated a minute. Then she moved closer to him and said, “It was nice seeing you again, Kenny, and I’m truly sorry for whatever hurt I may have caused you in the past.”

  “It’s Ken, not Kenny,” Dad mumbled.

  Trisha stood a few seconds, as if waiting for some other response, but when Dad said nothing more, she picked up her suitcase and opened the front door.

  “It’s been nice meeting you. Feel free to stop by if you’re ever in this area again,” Bonnie said, stepping onto the porch with Trisha.

  Trisha turned and smiled. “I appreciate the offer, but if I do come back this way, I’ll be sure and call first. I wouldn’t want to be here if your dad’s visiting, because it’s obvious that I make him feel uncomfortable.”

  “Well, he needs to get over it and leave the past in the past—forgive and forget. Life’s too short to carry grudges, and I plan to talk to him more about that. You just call, no matter what, if you should ever come by this way again.”

  Trisha gave Bonnie a quick hug then started down the stairs. She was almost to the bottom when her foot slipped on a still-frozen step and down she went.

  “What did I go and do now?” Trisha wailed. She tried to get up but was unsuccessful. “Oh, my ankle…It hurts so much!”

  Bonnie, being careful not to slip herself, made her way down the porch stairs and knelt beside Trisha. After a quick look at Trisha’s already swollen ankle, she determined that it could very well be broken. “Stay right where you are,” Bonnie said when Trisha once more tried to stand. “I’ll get Dad’s help, and we’ll carry you into the house.”

  CHAPTER 26

  I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate you letting me stay here while my ankle heals,” Trisha said to Bonnie as she hobbled into the kitchen with the aid of her crutches.

  “It’s not a problem,” Bonnie said. “Since you broke it after falling on my slippery steps, the least I can do is offer you a room free of charge.” She motioned to the table. “Now if you’ll take a seat, I’ll fix you some breakfast.”

  Trisha still felt bad about imposing on Bonnie like this, but she really did appreciate all she had done for her since she’d fallen two days ago. Bonnie had even gone so far as to call her fiancé, Allen, and ask that he take her dad to the airport so she’d be free to take Trisha to the hospital to have her ankle x-rayed. And when they’d learned that it was broken, Bonnie had stayed with Trisha at the hospital and brought her back here to care for her. It was definitely more than she had expected.

  Being with Bonnie was a taste of what it might have been like if Trisha had been able to have children. She’d always longed to be a mother and had wanted to adopt, but Dave wouldn’t even discuss that option. He’d said on more than one occasion that if they couldn’t have children of their own, then he didn’t want any at all. Trisha thought it was selfish of him to feel that way—especially when there were children out there who needed a home. But out of respect for her husband, she’d never pushed the issue. Besides, she’d always felt that a child needed love from both parents.

  “Would you like a bowl of oatmeal and some toast this morning?” Bonnie asked, breaking into Trisha’s thoughts.

  “Yes, thank you; that would be fine.” Trisha seated herself at the table and watched helplessly as Bonnie made her breakfast. “I feel like I ought to be doing something to earn my keep,” she said.

  Bonnie shook her head. “It’s no bother, really. I have to fix breakfast for myself, anyway.”

  “But you’ve done so much for me already—even giving up your room downstairs and moving into one of your upstairs guest rooms.

  “I’m happy to do that. After all, you can’t be expected to navigate the stairs with your leg in a cast and having to use crutches.”

  “I’m just not used to being waited on or pampered,” Trisha said. “I’ve always been pretty independent, and after Dave died, I really had to learn how to fend for myself.”

  “I understand. Dad was the same way after Mom passed away from a brain tumor.”

  “How old were you when she died?”

  “Thirteen.”

  “That must have been hard for both you and your dad.”

  “It was.” Bonnie went to the cupboard and took out a box of brown sugar, which she placed on the table. “Mom was a very good cook, and she didn’t like anyone in her kitchen, so I never learned to cook well. After she died, Dad and I just kind of muddled by.”

  “But you obviously learned how to cook somewhere along the line, because that Christmas dinner you fixed was delicious.”

  Bonnie smiled. “I had a good teacher.”

  “Who was that?”

  “Esther Beiler. When I moved into Grandma and Grandpa’s house and decided to open the B&B, Esther came to work for me. At first she did most of the cooking, but then she took the time to teach me.” Bonnie moved back to the stove to check on the oatmeal. “Of course, I’ll probably never be as good a cook as Esther, because she just has a talent for it.”

  “Guess everyone has something they’re really good at,” Trisha said, reaching for two napkins from the basket on the table. She folded them and set them out for the meal.

  “That’s true. Where do you feel your talents lie?” Bonnie questioned.

  “I don’t know if I’m as good a cook as Esther, but I used to be the head chef for a restaurant in Fresno, and the customers often raved about some of the dishes I created. So I guess if I have a talent, it’s cooking.”

  “Oh my!” Bonnie’s cheeks turned pink. “I had no idea there was a chef who could no doubt cook circles around me sitting at my table on Christmas Day. If I’d known that, I probably would have been a complete wreck.”

  Trisha laughed. “I’ve never considered myself anything more than someone who likes to cook, so you really don’t need to worry about whether anything you fix measures up.”

  “That’s good to know, because the oatmeal’s a little too dry. I probably didn’t put enough water in the kettle.”

  Trisha waved her hand. “Don’t worry about that. It’s funny, but whenever someone else does the cooking, no matter what it is, the food always tastes so much better. I used to tell my husband that his toast was the best-tasting toast I’d ever eaten. Anyway, a pat of butter and some milk poured over the top, and I’m sure the oatmeal will be plenty moist.”

  “I know exactly what you mean about someone else’s cooking. It’s kind of like eating outdoors. When does the food taste any better than that?” Bonnie set two bowls on the table and took a seat. “No wonder my dad fell so hard for you when you were teenagers. You’re a very nice woman, Trisha Chandler.”

  Trisha smiled. “Thanks. I think you’re pretty nice, too.”

>   When breakfast was over and Trisha was resting comfortably on the living-room sofa, Bonnie did the dishes. She’d just finished and was about to mop the kitchen floor when Esther showed up.

  “I’m surprised to see you,” Bonnie said. “I figured you’d be over at Samuel’s by now.”

  “I told Hannah last night that I’d be coming over late because I had some errands to run,” Esther said. “To tell you the truth, I think she was glad.”

  “Are things still strained between you two?”

  “A bit, although I believe they are somewhat better. We’ve been talking more lately, and I think that’s helped.”

  Bonnie smiled. “I’m glad. You should bring Hannah and the little ones over to see me again. Maybe Suzanne would like to come, too.”

  “That sounds like fun. And speaking of Suzanne, I found out yesterday that she and Titus are expecting a baby. She’s due sometime in August.”

  Bonnie squealed. “Now that is good news! I’m sure everyone in Suzanne’s family must be very excited.”

  “They are, and so are Titus’s parents. We suspected it when they were here for Christmas, and when Titus called his folks and told them the official news, they were delighted.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t get to see Abraham and Fannie while they were here this time,” Bonnie said. “I enjoyed meeting them when they came for Titus and Suzanne’s wedding. They seem like a very nice couple.”

  “They are, and I look forward to having them as in-laws.”

  “How soon will that be?” Bonnie asked, taking a seat at the table and motioning for Esther to do the same.

  Esther lowered herself into a chair. “I don’t know. Samuel would get married tomorrow if it was possible, but I really think we should wait until Hannah and Timothy have found a place of their own.”

  “I understand, but what if it’s a long time before they find a place? Will you change your mind and marry Samuel anyway?”