“Jah. A big, healthy boy, at that.”
“That’s wunderbaar! Just think, Abraham, this gives us forty-eight kinskinner, not counting dear little, departed Mindy. Oh, I wish we could go to Kentucky right now so we could see the new boppli.”
“We’ll go soon, Fannie—unless Titus and Suzanne decide to come here first.”
She shook her head. “That’s not likely to happen. From what Titus said the last time we talked, things are really busy in the woodshop right now, so I doubt he’ll be taking time off for a trip anytime soon. Besides, it’s a whole lot easier for us to travel than it would be for a young couple with a new baby.”
“You’re probably right, so we’ll go there soon. But I think we should give ’em some time to adjust to being parents before we barge in, don’t you?”
She nodded slowly. “I suppose you’re right, and when we do go, it’ll be nice to see Samuel and his family, as well as Timothy.”
Abraham took a seat. “Speaking of Timothy, have you been able to talk to Hannah yet? You did promise him you’d try to talk her into going back to Kentucky, right?”
“Jah, I did, but every time I’ve gone over to the Kings’ place, I’ve only seen Sally.” Fannie sighed deeply. “She always gives me the excuse that Hannah’s resting or isn’t feeling up to company. Makes me wonder if I’ll ever get the chance to speak to Hannah face-to-face.”
“Well, don’t give up. One of these days when you stop over there, Sally’s bound to be gone, and then she won’t be able to run interference for Hannah.” Abraham grunted. “Wouldn’t surprise me one bit if she doesn’t do it just so she can keep Hannah all to herself. You and I both know that Hannah’s mamm had such a tight hold on Hannah before Timothy moved them to Kentucky that it was choking the life out of their marriage. Now that Hannah’s back home and livin’ under her folks’ roof again, Sally will probably do most anything to keep Hannah there.”
“Oh, I hope that’s not the case.” Fannie set the platter of french toast on the table and took a seat beside Abraham. “As soon as we’re done with breakfast, I’m going over to see Hannah again. Since I promised Timothy I would talk to her, I need to keep trying.”
Hannah had just entered the kitchen when a wave of nausea ran through her. She clutched her stomach and groaned. This was the third day in a row that she’d felt sick to her stomach soon after she’d gotten out of bed. Could I be pregnant? she wondered. Oh, surely not. I don’t see how….
Hannah’s thoughts took her to the last night she’d spent in Kentucky. She remembered how she’d allowed herself to find comfort in Timothy’s arms and had awakened the next morning fearful that because of her willingness to be with him, he’d gotten the wrong idea. Had Timothy believed she’d forgiven him and that things were better between them? Well, he ought to know that just wasn’t possible! Even if Hannah was carrying Timothy’s child, she could never return to Kentucky and be the wife Timothy wanted and expected her to be. The only way Hannah could cope with Mindy’s death was to stay right here in the safety of her parents’ home.
Hannah had just put the teakettle on the stove when her mother entered the kitchen. “I’m going shopping as soon as we’re done with breakfast, and I was hoping you’d come with me,” Mom said.
Hannah shook her head. “I don’t feel like it, Mom. I just want to stay here.”
“Oh, but Hannah, you’ve been cooped up in this house ever since you came home, and I think it would be good for you to get out for a few hours.”
“I can’t. I might see someone from Timothy’s family, and then they’d probably tell me I was wrong to leave Timothy and that my place is in Kentucky with him.” Hannah leaned against the counter as another wave of nausea rolled through her stomach.
“Are you feeling all right? You look pale,” Mom said with a worried frown. “Are you grank?”
“I’m fine. Just tired, is all.”
“That’s because you’re not sleeping well. I think you should let me take you to the doctor and see if he’ll prescribe some sleeping pills.”
Hannah shook her head vigorously. “I don’t want any sleeping pills. I sleep when I need to—sometimes during the day. I’m sure I’ll feel better once I’ve had some breakfast.”
Mom pulled Hannah into her arms for a hug. “I can’t help but worry about you. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow to do my shopping.”
“I’ll be fine. Go ahead with your plans.”
“All right, then. Is there anything you’d like me to pick up for you while I’m out and about?”
Hannah shook her head. “There’s nothing I need.” Except a sense of peace I may never feel, she added to herself.
Soon after Mom left, Hannah decided to sit on the porch for a while because it was so hot and stuffy in the house. With a cup of peppermint tea in one hand, she took a seat on the porch swing and tried to relax. Besides the nausea that still plagued her, the muscles in her back and neck were tense. She leaned heavily against the back of the swing and concentrated on the noisy buzz of the cicadas coming from the many trees in her parents’ yard.
Hannah had only been sitting a few minutes when a horse and buggy pulled into the yard. Her first impulse was to dash into the house, but curious to see who it was, she stayed. When she saw Fannie Fisher climb down from the buggy, Hannah felt her heart pound. Oh no! Not her! I can’t deal with the questions I’m sure she’s likely to ask.
Hannah jumped up and was about to run into the house when Fannie called, “Stay right there, Hannah! I need to speak to you!”
Feeling like a defenseless fly trapped in the web of a spider, Hannah collapsed onto the swing. She supposed she couldn’t avoid Timothy’s mother forever, so she might as well get it over with. Maybe after she explained how she felt about things, Hannah wouldn’t be bothered by Fannie again.
“Wie geht’s?” Fannie asked as she joined Hannah on the porch.
“I’m surprised to see you,” Hannah mumbled, avoiding Fannie’s question about how she was doing.
“I’ve come by several times to see you, but your mamm’s always said you weren’t up to company.”
Hannah didn’t say anything—just waited for the barrage of questions she figured was forthcoming.
Fannie shifted from one foot to the other; then without invitation, she took a seat in one of the wicker chairs. “I understand that you’re hurting, Hannah. Losing Mindy was a horrible tragedy, and we all miss her.”
Just hearing Mindy’s name and seeing the look of compassion on Fannie’s face made Hannah feel like crying.
“I also understand why you may have felt that you needed to get away from Kentucky for a while,” Fannie continued. “But have you considered how much this is hurting Timothy? He’s grieving for Mindy, too, you know.”
Hannah’s jaw clenched. “I’m sure he is, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s his fault our little girl is dead.”
A pained expression crossed Fannie’s face. “Timothy blames himself, too, but all the blame in the world won’t bring Mindy back.”
“Don’t you think I know that? When I discovered Mindy lying on the ground so still, I begged God for a miracle, but He chose not to give me one. Instead, He snatched my only child away when He could have stopped it from happening in the first place.” Hannah couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice, and it was a struggle not to give in to the tears pricking the back of her eyes.
“You know, even with a brand-new screen on a window, someone could still fall through if they ran into it too hard or leaned heavily against it. Screens are only meant to keep bugs out, not prevent people from falling out of windows.”
Hannah offered no response. She was sure Mindy had fallen out the window because the screen was broken, and nothing Fannie could say would change her mind.
“You’re right that God could have prevented Mindy’s death,” Fannie said with tears in her eyes. “He could let us go through life protected from every horrible thing that could hurt us.”
&nbs
p; “Then why doesn’t He?”
“I don’t know all of God’s ways, but I do know that whenever He allows bad things to happen to His people, He can take those things and use them for good.” Fannie slipped her arm around Hannah’s shoulder. “But we have to decide to let it work for our good and not allow bitterness and resentment to take over. We can choose to let God help us with the hurts and disappointments we must face.”
Hannah’s throat felt so clogged, she couldn’t speak. What Fannie said, she’d heard before from one of the ministers in their church. But letting go of her hurt wouldn’t bring Mindy back, and besides, she didn’t think she could do it. Hannah felt the need to hold on to something—even if it was the hurt and bitterness she harbored against Timothy.
As though sensing Hannah’s confusion and inability to let go of her pain, Fannie said, “The only way you’ll ever rise above your grief is to forgive my son. Bitterness and resentment will hurt you more in the long run, and when you do the right thing, Hannah, God will give you His peace. Won’t you please return to Kentucky and try to work things out with Timothy?”
Hannah looked away, tears clouding her vision. “I just can’t.”
Fannie sat for several minutes; then she finally rose to her feet. “I pray that you’ll change your mind about that, for your sake, as well as my son’s.” She moved toward the porch steps but halted and turned to look at Hannah. “Oh, before I go, I thought you might like to know that Suzanne had a baby boy last night. They named him Abraham, and I guess they’re planning to call him Abe for short.”
It took all that Hannah had within her, but she forced herself to say she was glad for Suzanne and Titus. Inside, however, just hearing about Suzanne’s baby made her hurt even more. It was one more painful reminder that Hannah no longer had any children to hold and to love.
“We’ll be going to Kentucky to see the boppli in a month or so. Maybe you’d like to go along,” Fannie said.
Hannah shook her head. A wave of nausea came over her, and she thought she might lose her breakfast. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m not feeling so well, and I need to lie down.” Before Fannie could respond, Hannah jumped up and rushed into the house.
Pembroke, Kentucky
When Timothy arrived home from work that day, the first thing he did was head to the phone shanty to check for messages. He found only one—it was from Mom, and it wasn’t good news. She’d spoken to Hannah but couldn’t get her to change her mind about coming back to Kentucky.
With a heavy heart, Timothy dialed his folks’ number to leave a message in return. He was surprised when Mom answered the phone.
“It’s Timothy, Mom. I just listened to your message about seeing Hannah today. Is there anything else you can tell me about your visit with her?” he asked.
“Hannah isn’t the same woman you married, Timothy,” Mom said. “Losing Mindy has changed her. She’s bitter and almost like an empty vessel inside. I fear she may never be the same.”
“Does she still blame me for Mindy’s death?”
“Jah, and she’s not willing to return to Kentucky.”
Sweat beaded on Timothy’s forehead, and he reached up to wipe it away. “She didn’t mention divorce, did she?”
“No.”
“Well, that’s a relief. Maybe it’s for the best that she’s not with me right now. Seeing her every day and knowing how she feels about me would only add to the guilt I already feel for causing Mindy’s death.”
“I think maybe Hannah needs more time, Timothy. We’re all praying for her, and for you as well. You’ve got to stop blaming yourself, son, because all the blame in the world won’t bring Mindy back, and it’s not helping your emotional state, either.”
“I know, Mom, but if I could, I’d give my life in exchange for my daughter’s.”
“That’s not an option, and you need to find a way to work through all of this. You need to get on with the business of living.”
“How can I do that when my wife hates me and won’t come back to our home?”
“I don’t think Hannah hates you, Timothy. I just think she’s so caught up in her grief that she needs someone to blame. I also believe in the power of prayer, so let’s keep praying and believing that someone or something will help Hannah see that her place is with you. I don’t think you should try to force her to come back.”
“I would never do that, Mom. If Hannah decides to return to Kentucky, it has to be her decision of her own free will.” Timothy blinked as a trickle of sweat rolled into his eyes. “And I…I want more than anything for Hannah to say that she’s forgiven me and can love me again.”
CHAPTER 49
There’s something I need to tell you,” Bonnie said to Allen as they shared breakfast together one Saturday morning in mid-September.
Allen set his cup of coffee down. “You look so somber. I hope it’s not bad news.”
She shook her head. “It’s good news. At least it is to me. I’m hoping you’ll think it’s good news, too.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “Then tell me now, because I can’t stand the suspense.”
Smiling and taking in a deep breath, Bonnie said, “I’m pregnant.”
Allen stared at her like he couldn’t believe what she’d just said. “Are…are you sure?” he asked in a near whisper.
“I took a pregnancy test earlier this week, and I saw the doctor yesterday afternoon. It’s official, Allen. The baby’s due the first week of April.”
“How come you waited till now to tell me?” Allen’s furrowed brows let Bonnie know he was a bit disappointed. Was it because she hadn’t told him sooner, or was he upset about her being pregnant?
“I know we’ve only been married four months, and I’m sorry if you’re disappointed because we didn’t expect to start a family so soon, but—”
Allen placed his finger against her lips. “I’m not the least bit disappointed. I’m thrilled to hear such good news. You just took me by surprise, that’s all.” He smiled widely then leaned over and gave her a kiss. “Wow, I can’t wait to tell my folks this news. Mom will be so excited when she hears that she’s gonna be a grandma. Have you told your dad yet?”
“No, you’re the first one I’ve told, and I would have given you the news last night, but you fell asleep soon after we ate supper.”
“I don’t usually conk out like that,” Allen said, “but I’ve been working such long hours lately, and I can’t seem to get enough sleep.”
She smiled. “I understand. Things have been busier around the B&B recently, too, and it’s keeping me and Trisha hopping.”
“You should probably slow down now that you’re expecting a baby. Maybe you ought to consider hiring someone else to help Trisha so you can take it easy and get plenty of rest.”
“I promise I won’t overdo it, but I can’t sit around doing nothing. It’s not in my nature.”
He nodded. “Okay. I guess you know what you’re capable of doing.”
Bonnie finished eating her scrambled eggs then pushed away from the table. “I think I’ll call my dad right now. After that, I’m going to share our good news with Trisha.”
“Sounds like a plan. While you’re calling your dad, I’ll use my cell phone and give my folks a call.” Allen grinned. “Something tells me that once the baby comes, they’ll be making a lot more trips to Kentucky.”
Bonnie nodded. “I’ll bet Dad comes to visit us more often, too.”
“You look like you’re in a good mood this morning,” Trisha said when she found Bonnie humming as she did the breakfast dishes.
Bonnie turned from the sink and smiled. “I sure am. In fact, I’m feeling very blessed and happy.”
“Would you like to share some of that happiness with me?”
“That’s exactly what I was planning to do.” Bonnie motioned to the table. “Let’s have a seat, and I’ll tell you about it.”
Leaning her elbows on the table, Bonnie smiled and said, “Allen and I are going to have a baby. I’m d
ue the first part of April.”
Trisha grinned and reached for Bonnie’s hand. “Oh, that is good news! I’m so happy for you, Bonnie.”
“I appreciate God giving me a second chance at motherhood since I was forced to give up my baby when I was sixteen.”
“I know you’ll make a good mom. I’ve seen how patient and kind you are with Samuel’s kids. And Allen will make a good daddy, too.”
“Yes, I believe he will.” Bonnie tapped her fingers along the edge of the table.
“Is there a problem?” Trisha asked.
“Well, no, not for me, but you might not see it that way.”
“What is it?”
“When I called Dad to give him the good news, he was very pleased.”
“I imagine he would be.”
“Well, the thing is …” Bonnie paused and moistened her lips. “He said something about quitting his job at the bank and moving here so he can be closer to me and the baby.”
“I can understand him wanting to do that.”
“How would you feel about it if Dad decides to move?”
Trisha shrugged. “Whatever Ken does is his business.”
“I know there has been some tension between you two, and if he moves here, you’ll be seeing him fairly often, so I thought—”
“It’s not a problem, Bonnie. When your dad came to your wedding in May, things were better between us, so I don’t anticipate any issues if he should decide to move here.”
“That’s a relief. I want having this baby to be a positive experience, and I was a little concerned that you might decide to leave if Dad moves to Kentucky.”
Trisha shook her head. “As long as you want me to help at the B&B, I’m here for you.”
“I’m glad to hear that, because my business has picked up since you came to work for me. Besides, you and I have become good friends, and I’d miss not having you around.”
Trisha smiled. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”
Paradise, Pennsylvania
Hannah sat in the rocking chair inside her parents’ living room and placed both hands against her stomach. It hadn’t taken very long for her to realize that she was definitely pregnant. Due to the morning sickness, Mom had figured it out, too. Hannah was okay with her folks knowing, but she didn’t want anyone else to know—especially not anyone from Timothy’s family. If they knew she was expecting a baby, they’d tell Timothy. And if he knew, Hannah was sure he would come to Pennsylvania and insist she go back to Kentucky with him. So Hannah had asked her folks not to tell anyone, and they’d agreed to keep her secret. But Dad had made it clear that he wasn’t happy about it. He’d said several times that he thought Hannah’s place was with her husband, no matter how she felt about him. “Marriage is for keeps, and divorce is not an option,” Dad had said the other night.
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