by Anna Jacobs
“Oh?”
Her tone was disbelieving and he snapped, “Yes. A chat. I was happy to chat, but it turned out she wanted more. Jules and I lived together for a couple of years, as you may have gathered - as much as two people can live together when both of them have to keep rushing off on assignments. If we’d been together full-time, it’d have broken up much sooner, I’m sure. When we were home there were good times and bad. Increasingly there was quarrels because I was getting better assignments. In the end she left me, saying it was damaging her career to be seen in a settled relationship. But if she hadn’t gone, I would have done the deed. We just weren’t suited. We make better friends than lovers. That morning you heard us she intimated she’d be happy to start the relationship again. I told her I wouldn’t.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, damn you! Just so you know the score, I’ve had three relationships over the years.” He began ticking them off on his fingers. “One was with a journo - Jules. Before her, an actress - Kate. Before that, a radio presenter - Lee-Anne. I never cheated on any of them, though Kate cheated on me.” His voice softened. “That’s what you’re afraid of, isn’t it? That I’d be unfaithful to you?”
She nodded.
“Because of Craig.” It wasn’t a question. He’d already guessed the legacy of self-doubt that sod had left her with. He could see how her eyes were shadowed with memories and sadness. “Damn the man! He’s left you all screwed up about relationships.” Kit raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, feeling her shiver at his touch. Then he pulled the hand so that she had to turn round and face him. With his mouth a few inches from hers, he asked, “Do you believe me?”
She looked at him then slowly nodded.
He couldn’t hold back a groan of relief.
“Is your leg hurting again?”
“What? Oh, a little, but it wasn’t that. I was just relieved that you believe me. What you think matters so very much.” He wriggled away from her. “And now I think I’d better return to my bedchamber, Laura my love. My body has come to life again with a vengeance and this isn’t the time to make love to you.”
“Why isn’t it?”
He stilled and stared at her. “Because of your father, of course.”
“I think Dad would understand more than anyone. Kit, I’m tired of death and unhappiness. I want you tonight, in my bed, in my body. I want to feel alive again. I haven’t for months, you know. You’re not the only one whose sex drive has been taking a holiday.” She leaned forward and grabbed him, pulling him close and kissing him until they both had to pause for breath. “I want you.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. Very sure.”
He cradled her cheek for a moment with one hand, then smiled ruefully. “Trouble is, I don’t have any protection. I can get something from the chemist’s tomorrow, but tonight . . . ”
She did a quick calculation. “I’m at my safe time. As long as you’re - clean?”
“Being a foreign correspondent sounds more glamorous than it is and I’ve never been one to hop in and out of beds. I like some mental and emotional contact with the women who share my life - and I want even more with you, Laura, because I think you’re going to be the most important woman in the rest of my life.”
Her expression showed how that had shocked her. “You can’t mean that!”
“I can. I always trust my instincts when I get a certain sort of feeling, and I’ve felt good with you from the start, as if we’re right together. I like you and love you. I’m hoping desperately that you have similar feelings for me.”
Her smile was glorious, lighting up her whole face and taking his breath away. “Yes, I do. Though I’ve tried not to. I love you very much, Kit, and it didn’t take long for me, either. Dad noticed, said you were fond of me.”
“He was a wise old guy, your dad, from the sounds of it. I wish I’d known him, but at least I met him once.” He pulled her close and cut off any more conversation by kissing her again, a very long kiss that left them both panting.
When he began to take her clothes off, she let him, smiling slightly and only once staying his hand for a moment to say, “I’ve got stretch marks from having the children.”
He promptly kissed her belly. “Very nice and soft to kiss, stretch marks are.”
But when she helped him out of his clothes, he lost his erection and tried to pull away, saying gruffly, “You get into bed. I’ll do this.”
She realised he was trying to hide his leg and held his hands still. “The leg’s part of you, Kit. Don’t try to hide it. And don’t think it puts me off, because it doesn’t.” She slid his trousers down and bent to kiss the livid scar from his last operation, moving her lips slowly along the line of it as she pulled his trousers off.
He lay back, feeling the desire build in him again, marvelling at how easy she made it, then, as she lay down beside him, he began a joyful exploration of her body.
“I’m too fat,” she muttered in his ear.
“For who? I’m not into making love to stick insects.” He kissed her mouth to stifle further talk. “Shh. Stop talking and let’s enjoy one another. I’d forgotten how wonderfully soft a woman’s body can be.” Oblivious now to anything but her, he kissed his way down her neck to her breasts, caressing them until she writhed beneath him.
He wanted so much to make it good for her. Your body didn’t forget but he used his mind to stay in charge of its pulsing desire, keeping their love-making slow and gentle, trying to gauge by her reactions what she liked, stroking the creamy flesh of hers until he could wait no longer.
It wasn’t the most spectacular love-making, given the stiffness of his damned leg and their uncertainties about each other, but it was still good - so very . . . very . . . good - to know he was a whole man again, able to pleasure the woman he loved.
As soon as his heart had stopped racing he repeated, “I love you, Laura.” He kept wanting to say it, needing to say it, to make sure she understood exactly how he felt.
Her eyes were over-bright as she turned to him. “I love you too, Kit. And - thank you.”
“Hey, I enjoyed it as well, you know.”
“It’s more than that. Thank you for making me feel whole again, desirable, a real woman.”
“It was mutual. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do it.” He wriggled into a more comfortable position, still keeping his arm round her.
With a happy little murmur she snuggled against him. “I’m tired now.”
“Me too.”
He woke in the darkness to find her trying to get out of bed without waking him, so pulled her back. “What are you doing?” The bedside clock said two in the morning.
Her stomach growled.
He burst out laughing, drew her to him for a quick kiss then admitted, “I’m ravenous as well. Did we eat anything yesterday?”
“Not much.” He let her go and she slipped quickly into a dressing gown. “Omelettes?”
“Perfect.”
“Fruit juice?”
“Whatever.”
He followed her more slowly down the stairs, smiling all the way and found her humming to herself in the kitchen as she worked.
Chapter 33
A week after Pop’s funeral, Sue arrived at Kit’s house in Wardle in the middle of the morning. When Laura opened the door she found her sister there, looking upset. She drew Sue inside and took her into her little sitting room, a place she hardly used. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Mum. They rang me to say she passed away in her sleep early this morning.”
“What did she die of?”
“They didn’t know. She just - died.”
“Oh, no!” Laura sat staring down at their linked hands for a moment, then looked at Sue. “I’ve heard it often happens. One partner dies and the other just follows, for no reason that anyone can work out.”
“She hadn’t settled at the nursing home, had she?”
“No. And to tell you the truth and I know it sounds hor
rible, but I think it’s for the best. She wasn’t really Mum any more, was she?”
“No. Only it seems so final to lose them both.”
They sat together for a few minutes, then Sue took a deep breath and said, “Trev and I will sort out the funeral, if you like. Dad had it all organised, so it won’t be hard.”
“Another one.” Laura sighed.
“Your third this year, my fifth. It’s been a terrible year.”
“It’s been good as well. I did get here in time to say goodbye to Dad. I feel closer to Deb than I have for years, though she’s still very touchy about me and Kit - and there’s Kit. I feel so lucky to have met him.”
“Trev and I like him. He’s a kind man.”
“I’m glad you do.”
“Are you two going to get married?”
Laura shook her head. “No. He’s asked me but how can I? He’s six years younger than me and he’s not got any children. I should leave him really, only I can’t tear myself away.”
“Why on earth should you leave him?”
“Because one day he’ll regret not having children, I’m sure he will. He loves them. You should see him talking to the grandson of the woman next door. Tam came round to ask if he could interview Kit for a school project and Kit was so lovely with him. It brought home to me what I’d be depriving him of. I love him too much to do that. Only when I think of leaving, the mere thought of it tears me apart.”
Sue patted her hand. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. It’s my problem. I’ll find a way to solve it. You’re looking a lot better now.”
“Oh, yes. I’m going back to work in a couple of weeks.” She gave a little chuckle. “The counsellor says I’m allowed to have the most immaculate house in the street, but no more than that. And I will keep taking the pills till they think it’s safe for me to stop.”
“Angie and Deb seem settled in at Pop’s house. Girls need to move away from home when they’re that age, I think.”
“Yes. It’s nice to see how well they get on. And they may as well pay us rent as anyone else. We’d only lose money if we sold the house now.”
They sat quietly for a few minutes longer, not saying much, then Sue left and Laura went to tell Kit the news, before phoning Ryan.
* * * *
Two months later, Laura slipped out of the house while Kit was taking a shower, leaving a note on the kitchen table saying, “Gone out. Need to think about something.”
It was a mild day and without deciding on a destination, she found herself stopping near the park, giving in to the temptation to take her troubles to the wishing well. She was relieved to find herself alone there. She tossed in a coin and stared blankly at it as it sank, because she didn’t quite know what to wish for this time.
She went to sit on the nearby bench, staring into space. She couldn’t believe it, but she was pregnant. It must have happened during those first couple of days, but she’d been so sure she was in her safe time, and anyway, at her age your fertility was supposed to drop. For a while it had seemed more likely that it was one of the first signs of menopause to get irregular periods. Kit had taken her word for that and they’d joked about his “older woman”.
To add to the confusion, during her other two pregnancies she’d been sick for the first three months, but this time she’d felt wonderful, as if her whole body was singing with health. Which was another reason she’d been reluctant to consider seriously the possibility that she might be expecting a child.
But when two months had passed without a sign of a period, she’d started to worry, really worry. She’d bought a pregnancy kit to set her mind at rest, only it had done just the opposite.
She didn’t know how to tell Kit, what to expect from him - and most of all didn’t want him to feel compelled to marry her. He had asked her to marry him early on in their relationship, and still made long-term plans for them, but hadn’t actually mentioned marriage again. Did he regret his original offer? Or didn’t he care whether they were married or not? She cared, now that they were having a child.
Oh, but it was embarrassing to be pregnant at her age. What would Ryan and Deb say? Or her sister?
Laura didn’t know how long she stayed there, only that her thoughts were still in a tangle and she couldn’t think what to do next.
Suddenly she became aware that someone had sat down on the seat next to her and looked quickly sideways. You had to be careful in parks. “How did you find me?”
Kit smiled. “This is one of your favourite spots when you need to think about something. You’d been here the first day we met, remember?”
She nodded.
“So . . . what is it you needed to consider so urgently?”
She could feel herself blushing, couldn’t find the words to tell him.
His voice was gentle, and he took her hand as he said quietly, “I hope it’s what I think it is.”
“You’d - guessed?”
“It had to be a possibility, whatever you said. In real life, men aren’t as stupid about these things as the characters in novels. After all, you and I didn’t take any precautions at first. When you kept going on about the menopause, it seemed to me you were trying to convince yourself as much as me, so I let things ride. And you weren’t going anywhere. I made sure of that.” He grinned. “I pinched your passport.”
She couldn’t help smiling. “I never even noticed. So you’re not - annoyed about it?”
“You’ve done a test, I gather? It is certain?”
“Yes. I did two tests, actually. I went and bought another brand for the second one, just in case something was wrong with the first kit.”
He threw back his head and laughed. “Oh, Laura, don’t you know me well enough yet to realise how thrilled I am about it? If we hadn’t been able to have children, I’d still want you and only you, but this is the icing on the cake.”
He pulled her to him and kissed first one cheek then the other, the tip of her nose and finally her lips.
When he let her go, he drew her to her feet and held her hands close to his chest. “If it weren’t for my stiff knee, I’d do the thing properly, go down on bended knees to propose. As it is, will you marry me, Laura darling, because it really will make me the happiest man on earth?”
She smiled through eyes brimming with happy tears. “Yes please. I’ll marry you when and where you like, Kit Mallinder. I can’t imagine how I got so lucky as to meet you, but I know when I’m on to a good thing.”
His voice became quieter, reverential almost. “And we’ll soon be three. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to that. Though we must make sure you get the very best of care. At your advanced age . . . ”
She pretended to thump him and he chuckled, then felt in his pockets and pulled out two coins. “Here. We’ll each throw in a coin and make a wish.”
When the ripples had stopped moving the water, she turned to him. “I can guess what our wishes were.”
He put one fingertip on her lips. “Shh. It’s bad luck to tell.”
She nibbled his fingertip and he sucked in his breath sharply. “How do you do that, woman? You have only to touch me and I want you.”
“Then we’d better go home and do something about it. After which we’ll discuss arrangements.”
Hand in hand they left the park.
* * * *
In the middle of a sunny January morning three weeks later, Deb went to answer the door of the small terraced house. “Oh, Auntie Sue. You’re early.”
Sue smiled at her. “Can’t help it. I always seem to get ready too soon. Trev’s waiting in the car. Shall I ask him to come in?”
“I think you’d better. Angie won’t be long, I’m sure.”
As she went back out to the car there were footsteps on the stairs and Angie came running down, followed by Rick. “Phew! She nearly caught us there.”
“She must know,” Deb said matter-of-factly. “She’s not stupid.”
“Knowing is one thing, seeing for yourself is quite another.”
Trev came in and made himself comfortable on the sofa, his expression for a minute so exactly like Pop’s that Deb had to swallow hard.
“You’re keeping this place nice, girls,” he said cheerfully. “Aren’t they, Sue?”
She nodded.
Deb smiled. “Not to your standards, Auntie Sue, but not too bad, eh?”
“I can’t imagine better tenants,” Trev said with another of his broad smiles.
“So - what’s the occasion for the party today? Have you any idea?” Sue asked. “Kit certainly does things in style, doesn’t he? I’m looking forward to a night at a luxury hotel.”
Deb shook her head. “I haven’t the foggiest idea. But Mum’s been a bit strange lately, so I hope this is going to settle it, whatever it is. My guess is they’re going to announce that they’re getting married and the party will be to celebrate that.”
“Well, she and Kit seem very right together.”
Deb rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Lovey-dovey all over the place.” She’d got used to that now, but still thought it a bit gross to see her mother kissing someone so passionately.
Angie looked at the clock. “I suppose we’d better get going. We don’t want to be late.”
It took them over an hour to drive to the hotel, which was out on the moors, a former stately home. They were greeted with a flattering amount of fuss at Reception and shown up to adjoining suites.
“I could get used to this,” Angie said.
“Who couldn’t?” Deb bounced on the bed and went to peep into the other bedroom in their suite, which was allegedly Rick’s, but where she knew Angie would be sleeping too. She wished she had a guy, but was making one or two friends now that she’d got a job. It wasn’t the best of jobs, but staying at home with nothing to fill your time was much overrated, she’d decided. She was thinking seriously of going to university or college - something to give her better employment options.