Reluctant Bride

by Linda Ford

  She stopped, freed her arm, and moved away from Nels.

  He wanted to pull her close, hold her, and assure her everything would be fine, but she looked fragile, as if a touch would shatter her like the cup she had dropped on the floor. He crossed his arms to keep himself from reaching for her.

  “Little did I know that it was that trip that brought an end to my marriage and took away the child I loved.” She looked past him to the distant horizon. “Truman accused me of infidelity. Provided bribed witnesses from that trip who swore they had seen me in compromising situations. I had no way of defending myself against their stories. Who would believe a poor servant girl? Such ingratitude after all that family had done for her.” Her voice dropped to a strangled whisper. “He divorced me.”

  Nels reached for her but she backed away.

  “Have you any idea of the shame associated with divorce? It was bad enough to be accused of infidelity. But he said I wasn’t a suitable woman to be around Ray. I begged to be allowed to say goodbye to the boy but he refused. He turned me out of the house. He allowed me to pack my things, took me to the train station, and gave me enough money to buy a ticket. ‘Anywhere away from here,’ he said. I bought a ticket on the first train and that’s how I ended up in Grassy Plains. I took back my maiden name and started again”

  Her breathing had grown ragged.

  “I did not know until Brayden told us that Truman had died.” She shuddered. “I didn’t know I was free of him.”

  Nels could not endure her pain and ignored her attempt to push him away. He wrapped his arms about her, pulling her to his chest and holding her tight until she stopped shivering.

  A shudder ran down her spine.

  “Agnes, it’s over now. You have Ray again. Your past is behind you.”

  She pushed him away. “I wish I could believe that, but I know Millicent. Once she learns I’m here, she will do her best to destroy me.”

  “This time will be different. I will make it different.”

  “How? How can you undo what’s been done? How can you stop her from telling everyone I’m divorced and providing details as to why?”

  “Marry me. That will make her words mean nothing.”

  Her gaze held his, full of longing. She searched his heart. He opened his thoughts to her and let her see how much he cared. Saw the flare of hope in her eyes. It died as if quenched by a driving rain. “I can’t. My past could destroy us all.” She turned her steps toward home.

  He caught her arm. “Don’t let the past destroy your future.”

  “It already has.” She reached the door and stepped inside.

  He had done what he could for now. But he was not about to give up.

  Agnes went through the motions of preparing the girls for bed. She read them a Bible verse though she could not have said what she read. She fed the baby. She avoided Tex’s watchful gaze, knowing he would see far more than she wanted him to.

  “Wouldn’t mind some cookies and coffee before I go to bed,” he said.

  She wasn’t fooled by his nonchalant words. But she could hardly refuse without being rude.

  She made coffee for him and tea for herself and sat at the table with him.

  “It’s none of my business, but I’m too old to let that keep me from saying what needs to be said.”

  She looked at the contents of her cup, knowing she had no choice but to listen.

  “Not so long ago you was overjoyed to see the boy. Now you act like him being here’s the worst thing that could happen.”

  She shrugged. “I’m very glad to see Ray.”

  “Sure could fool me with that long face of yours.”

  “It isn’t about Ray.”

  “Then it’s about Nels. What’s that young whippersnapper done?”

  Her laugher lasted a second and ended on a note she feared sounded very much like a sob. “He asked me to marry him. For the third time.”

  “Well, shoot. Seems to me that should make you a happy woman. Do you find the man repulsive or something?”

  A grin came straight from her heart to her lips. “Not at all. But there are extenuating circumstances.”

  “Agnes, take it from an old man. Letting circumstances control your decisions is a waste of time. My advice—get over whatever they are and reach out for your happiness.” He pushed to his feet. “Now this old man is going to bed.”

  Agnes planted her elbows on the table and stared at her still-full cup of tea. If only life was as simple as Nels and Tex thought it should be. But she knew the damage gossip could do.

  If she thought Millicent would not speak of the past, she might believe she had a chance to forget it.

  Lord, she cried silently, I want to stay here. I’d like to marry Nels, not so he could keep me safe and protect my reputation but because I love him. I fear losing the girls. I will give up every one of my desires to protect them.

  She made up her mind. She would continue as things were. But if there was one word breathed that suggested the girls be taken from her, she would take them and run. Somehow, somewhere, she would find shelter for them.

  The next day was Saturday, and she did her best to be cheerful and serene though her insides trembled with the knowledge that tomorrow she would attend church and no doubt see Millicent.

  She longed to see Ray. Would he come to the house as Tex had? What instructions had Nels given him? Every few minutes she glanced toward the hill, hoping for a glimpse of the boy.

  Nels came in for dinner. “I told him to come for dinner if the cows were settled.”

  “Thank you.” It was all she could do not to hug Nels. She darted a glance to him then couldn’t pull her gaze away.

  He smiled, but his eyes were sad. “I keep hoping you’ll understand that I want nothing but the best for you.”

  “Nels, I fully believe that.”

  “But it isn’t enough?”

  “Let’s see how things go tomorrow at church. I’ve come to a decision. If Millicent is prepared to keep my past a secret, than I will feel I have a future here. But if she repeats the lies told about me—” Agnes shuddered. Such ugly lies. Such shame and reproach. She couldn’t finish.

  Nels squeezed her shoulder. “I will pray the woman keeps silent on the matter.” The look in his eyes promised so many things… all of which she wanted.

  But was she foolish to hope she could have them?

  At the sound of an approaching horse, she turned, a smile on her lips. “Ray. I never thought to see him again and yet here he is. By happenchance? Or by God’s hand? If God could bring him back into my life, could He not as easily leave the girls in my care? But I have so little faith. Not in God but in people.”

  “Do you care to hear another of Grandfar’s favorite verses?”

  “I would.”

  “‘If ye have faith the size of a grain of mustard seed…’ Surely you have that much faith.”

  Her shoulders relaxed although she’d been unaware that she’d drawn them up. “That’s not much, but if it’s enough… Thank you.”

  His smile and the warmth of his eyes gave her assurance that it was enough.

  Ray entered the house and she rushed over to hug him.

  “Hi, Mama. I like being a cowboy,” he said.

  Hettie edged closer. “We don’t have a mama. Or a papa.”

  Ray squatted down to be at eye level with her. “But you got my mama, and you couldn’t ask for better. Does she take good care of you?”

  Lila joined her sister and they nodded.

  Ray continued. “Does she read to you? Make cookies for you? Take you for walks? Does she love you?”

  They nodded to each of his questions.

  Ray stood up and grinned at Agnes. “Then she’s as good as a mama.”

  “I know,” Lila said. “But I miss my real mama.”

  Ray turned back to the children. “Of course you do. You always will. That’s as it should be. But there’s a whole new life here for you.” He grinned at Agnes and included
Nels and Tex in his look.

  Tex grunted. “He’s pretty smart for someone so young.”

  Agnes wanted to embrace the whole new life that Ray meant.

  She could only hope Millicent would allow it.

  12

  Nels waited a decent time before he followed Agnes and the girls in the rented wagon driven by Mr. Smith in his top hat. Nels had no wish to give anyone a reason to notice that they came from the same direction though by anyone he supposed he meant Miss Taks. Everyone else in the area knew where Agnes lived.

  By the time he reached the church, Agnes had gone inside.

  But not Miss Taks. Could she be waiting for him? As soon as she saw him, she picked up her skirt and hurried toward him. “Mr. Hansen, I expected to see my nephew today. It is the Lord’s Day.”

  “He’s doing his job. Herding the cows.” It’s what he hired the boy for.

  “I did not understand that he would be expected to work on the Lord’s Day.”

  One thing he could say for this teacher woman, her voice carried rather well. He eased his way by her and escaped into the church. He glanced over his shoulder, half afraid she would follow him inside and berate him. Had no one informed her that cows didn’t have calendars?

  He was being cranky and defensive because of what he knew about the woman. He pushed aside his critical thoughts.

  Agnes sat on the far left, the girls pressed tight to her.

  He chose to sit on the far right. Anker and Lena slipped in beside him. Lena leaned over to whisper. “You seem to have gotten on the wrong side of the new schoolteacher.”

  Anker laughed softly. “Didn’t take you long either. It must be some sort of a record.”

  Nels stared straight ahead, determined not to give their teasing any attention.

  Lena nudged him. “Here she comes. I hope she’s not going to continue scolding you.”

  He tipped his head so he could see the woman out of the corner of his eye and let out a gust of air when she sat toward the front. Being able to see her helped him relax. At least she wouldn’t be sneaking up on him.

  He sang hymns that normally calmed his soul, but found no peace. Miss Taks seemed the sort of person who welcomed a confrontation. How would she handle seeing Agnes? Could Agnes slip out before the teacher noticed her?

  Of course that wouldn’t solve anything. Before Agnes could feel free she had to know what the woman who had once been her sister-in-law would have to say about her.

  Please God, let the woman exercise wisdom and kindness.

  He barely waited for Reverend Sorrow to say his final, “Amen,” before he was on his feet and trying to hurry Lena and Anker from the pew.

  Anker grinned at him. “You’re still scared of teachers even though you are a grown man.”

  Let Anker think what he wanted, Nels was far more frightened of this woman than he had been of any of his teachers. She had the power to rob him of his happiness and future.

  But if he hoped to escape her, he was destined to failure. People blocked his way. He finally made it to the yard, but before he could reach his horse, a strident voice called, “Mr. Hansen. May I have a word?”

  He thought of leaving the other Mr. Hansen to deal with the woman, but she bore down on him. Seemed there was no avoiding her.

  “Mr. Hansen, I would never have let my nephew go to work for you if I’d known he was expected to work on the Lord’s Day.” She put a special emphasis on the last two words and it seemed that every eye was on them.

  Agnes stepped from the church, saw him talking to the teacher, and almost tripped over her own feet.

  Could Nels hold the woman’s attention long enough for Agnes to escape? “Miss Taks, I’m sorry you didn’t realize that the cows would need tending on Sunday the same as every day.”

  She sniffed loudly. “Either my nephew comes to church next Lord’s Day or I will put an end to his employment with you. I think I’ve made myself clear on the matter.” Satisfied that not only Nels but the entire church population had heard her, she turned. And gasped.

  “What is that woman doing here?” She pointed at Agnes.

  Agnes grabbed the girls and tried to escape.

  Miss Taks took a step after her but Nels blocked her path.

  “I’ll be sure the boy attends church next week.”

  She tried to push him aside. “Harlot,” she called loudly.

  Nels cringed, but continued to block her path.

  “That woman has no right to be in our midst. I can tell you stories about her that would have her put in stocks.”

  Nels’s family had gathered round the woman, trying to hush her.

  Several others, more curious than caring, joined them.

  “You are mistaken,” Lena said with firmness. Nels looked at her with new admiration.

  “I assure you I am not. She was married to my brother, so I know what I’m talking about.”

  Reverend Sorrow made his way through the crowd. “What’s going on?”

  Miss Taks jabbed her finger in Agnes’s direction. “That woman is a harlot.”

  Reverend Sorrow looked taken aback then drew himself up, his expression stern. “Who here is without sin? Let that person cast the first stone.”

  Miss Taks glowered at the preacher, but he silently challenged her. Good for him.

  She tipped her nose upward and gave those around her a hard look. “When you all learn the truth you will drive her from your midst.”

  This was what Agnes had feared. The vindictive accusations of a bitter woman and her power to sway others to take her side. He could not stand by and allow it.

  “You all realize that she is accusing Miss Bland of immoral behavior. This is the woman who helped deliver your babies, who nursed your elderly with such tenderness, who helped many of you through illness or injury and who now is raising three orphaned children.”

  Many in the crowd hung their heads and murmured that they knew her as a good woman.

  Miss Taks gaped at Nels. “Are you telling me that she has children in her care?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “That woman is not fit to raise children. But she has pulled the wool over your eyes just as she did my brother before he divorced her for infidelity.”

  Several gasped at the news.

  “I see you didn’t know that about the woman. Believe me when I say I will make sure no child is left in her care.” Her head high in righteous indignation, she marched away.

  Many in the crowd shook their heads and muttered about having a divorced woman in their midst. Nels caught the word ‘harlot’ being used.

  He was about to tell them how fickle and cruel they were when Anker caught his arm. “Let Reverend Sorrow handle this.”

  The preacher held up his hands to signal silence. “I am shocked and dismayed at the behavior I have witnessed here. You have judged a woman based on angry, unfounded accusations.”

  “The schoolteacher wouldn’t lie,” someone at the back of the crowd called.

  Reverend Sorrow thundered out his words. “Did I not just remind you in my sermon that Jesus came to save sinners? If God can forgive you, and you and you—” He jabbed his finger toward different areas of the crowd then pressed his finger to his chest. “If He can forgive me, we must also forgive. What does the Bible say? ‘For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ Be very careful people, ‘For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged.’”

  He stood his ground, looking as fierce as Nels imagined Elijah had been.

  The crowd slipped away.

  Nels looked for Agnes, but she was gone.

  Anker gave him a little shove. “Go after her and make sure she knows not all people are willing to believe the accusations.”

  Nels was already running toward his horse. He galloped all the way home and landed on his feet at the door before his horse came to a full stop. H
e burst into the house. “Agnes!”

  Tex sat at the table, nursing a cup of coffee. “She ain’t back yet. You beat her home.”

  “No. She left before me.” He studied the rumpled hair of the old man. “Were you sleeping?”

  “Had myself a little nap.”

  “You didn’t hear her?”

  “Thought I heard a wagon a bit ago, but when I didn’t hear her or the children I decided it was my imagination.”

  Nels rushed into the first bedroom. The cradle was gone. No clothes hung from the hooks. He pulled open a drawer. Empty.

  He rushed to the girls’ room. It, too, was empty. Somehow she had come in, packed up, and left while Tex slept. Or had she anticipated this very thing and packed before she left for church. Then all she had to do was slip in and out.

  “She’s gone.”

  Tex half jerked to his feet. “Yer sure?”

  “Both bedrooms are cleaned out.”

  “What happened?”

  Nels told of the scene at church.

  Tex looked mad enough to chew the tabletop. “What kind of woman talks like that? Where did she go?”

  Nels tossed his hands upwards. “She didn’t tell me.” He searched the room, hoping for a note, but there was nothing. “Braydon. She wouldn’t leave him, would she?”

  Tex looked at him with rheumy eyes. “I can’t believe she left us.” He squinted at Nels. “Best you bring her back.”

  “First I have to discover where she’s gone. I’m going to see if Braydon is still here.”

  “Mr. Smith must have taken her wherever she’s gone.”

  “Right. I’ll go to town and talk to him.”