“Oh…well that explains it.” She regarded her sister and with a small smile, she brushed the damp bangs from her eyes. “How do you feel about her? Do you still love her?”
“I don’t know the answer to either of those questions. I’m finally putting the pieces of my heart back together…how can I just let her back into that very fragile space? I mean on Wednesday when we were together, I definitely had pangs of those feelings, but it was just sex and I knew it was sex…or so I thought. It was a relief ya know…I didn’t have to face that ever unanswered question, ‘does she love me.’ Because I knew she didn’t, so I could bury those feelings because I had moved on…this was just a fuck, nothing more.”
“But now everything is different.” Joni watched her sister’s face fall into a blank gaze.
“Yup, it sure is.”
“Well good morning…I mean good afternoon Lead Associate.” Jeff smiled at Jackie as he sat on the corner of her desk.
“I’m sorry I’m late. Had too many martinis. Was Mrs. Abbott pissed off when I left?”
“No, she was very apologetic for coming on so strong and…”
“Wait a minute, did you say lead associate?” Jackie looked at her boss quizzically.
“I did. Come with me.” Jeff stood and waited until Jackie stood and proceeded to lead her around the corner to an empty office. As they got closer to the office door, the nameplate became clearer and Jeff’s face nearly split open from the shit-eating grin when he heard her gasp.
He led her into the office where a small table off to the side of the wall cabinet donned with flowers and balloons declaring ‘congratulations’. When he was sure she had passed through the threshold, he spun on his heel. “I went to the old man with our case. I wasn’t going to until after court, but I heard him and my grandfather in their office pitching a fit about Robert Hardy aligning with Stash, Logan and Merriweather. The assumption, backroom deal, was that they would represent Abbott Industries and were double-crossed. So I interjected our discovery and let’s just say, I’m finally going to be a partner. My first order of business was to promote my best associate.”
“Wow…Jeff. This is awesome, thank you,” Jackie pulled her boss in for a quick hug of gratitude.
“Don’t thank me. You deserved this.”
“Even though I didn’t let the client seduce me?” Jackie sat in her leather desk chair and leaned back. It was much more comfortable than those wood slats on wheels she was forced to sit on in the associate pit.
“Of course. We are not prostitutes. But I have to say…she was quite smitten with you.”
Jackie rolled her eyes and flipped her hair back, “I’m not sleeping with a client. I’ve seen shit like that happen and it never ends well.”
“Hey, I totally agree.”
“She shot you down too, didn’t she?” Jackie could see the dejection in his eyes.
His face began to turn a shade of red, “Flat.”
“Dude, what makes you think she’d give you a go…she’s a lesbian.”
“I don’t know…just figured.”
“Just figured what, women are only gay until the right man comes along?”
“No…I don’t know. She’s great looking and she was drunk and…”
“And you wanted to take advantage of her.” Jackie shook her head.
“No, I was hoping she would take advantage of me. Either way, it didn’t happen. But she does have the hots for you. So buck up and be nice to her because we have court in a month.”
“As long as being nice to her doesn’t include sex or any facsimile of sex.”
“Get to work Evans, you have a backlog,” Jeff said as he exited her office.
“I wonder why,” She yelled out as he turned to walk down the corridor.
She smiled as she looked around her office and imagined how she was going to decorate it. Then she noticed the flowers and balloons. The arrangement was enormous, filled with beautiful white lilies, yellow roses, blue delphiniums and purple monte casinos. It was a beautiful assortment and sitting next to the vase was a giant teddy bear holding a large bouquet of balloons that had a variety of sayings. Congratulations, way to go, you rock and shining star. She figured they were from the firm, but when she read the card, a smile crept across her face.
Congratulations on your promotion,
Jillian Abbott
Then she laughed, “short and sweet.” Jackie thought Jill would have written more in the card considering how over-the-top her behavior was the prior evening. Shrugging her shoulders and sitting back in the chair she just figured Jill’s sentiment was meant in the obnoxious size of the flowers and balloons. Jackie felt a little dejected and wondered if this was Jill’s way of trying to butter her up for another round of incessant come-ons. Then she wondered why she was thinking about Jillian Abbott at all. She had much bigger fish to fry and now with being a lead associate meant more work not less and also meant she was going to have to cut her dog walking hours back.
Jackie smiled, “Finally getting back to me. I can’t wait to tell Suzanne.” As realization set in her eyes closed with a defeated sigh. “Shit.”
Chapter 14
A dinner party…it had been years since Jill hosted one and she wasn’t sure what had changed in the way of dinner parties and wondered if it was different for a bunch of lesbians. After Googling ‘lesbian dinner parties’ the only links that came up were porn sites and she didn’t realize it until she opened one. The scene on the screen seemed innocent enough at the beginning of how the women were greeting each other with a hug and a kiss on the cheek as they entered the home, but then it all seemed to get steamy very quickly and suddenly there was a group of naked lesbians engaging in an orgy. What was erotic in the beginning suddenly became a little too much for her and she shut down the site along with the hundred or so pop-ups of male and female genitals.
Jill never needed help entertaining before, this was something she excelled in. Her dinner parties were legendary within her social circle before Bill fled the marriage. But now she wasn’t sure if anything was the same in the entertaining world or if lesbians were a special sect of women which required something more diverse…unusual maybe. She didn’t dare google ‘how to entertain lesbians’ as the barrage of porn would surely be too astronomical and crash her computer. Nevertheless, she needed help in how to entertain lesbians and knew she would certainly need a little guidance and direction with the first time she has a sexual encounter with one. But for now she was just hoping Casey’s version of a dinner party didn’t include four women engaging in sex with each other at the same time. She tried to be a little more selective with her Google searches, this time she put in ‘lesbian favorite foods’. Not that she thought all lesbians liked the same food, but it would give her a starting point.
Jill wanted to make the evening elegant, a case of expensive wine…dim the lights, soft music, and foods which included caviar, pâté, crudités, oysters, and her favorite langostinos. But this crowd might be more into chips, dip, pizza, and beer. And Casey was no help, all she would say was ‘don’t go to too much trouble.’ However, Jill wanted to go to the trouble. It was a dinner party, one which would include a proverbial coming out for her…not to mention meeting a woman. She hadn’t been on a date in decades and never a blind date. She was with Bill since she was fifteen, he was her first boyfriend and subsequently her first everything else. Their first date was at a school dance which prompted the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing. So in actuality, she really never has been on a real ‘first date’ date and the realization made her start to panic.
Now on top her angst about the dinner party being a flop, Jill was going to be face-to-face with a woman who was brought into her home on the assumption of a date. Jill now understood why Casey insisted on a small dinner party when she met Meredith…to alleviate the awkwardness, if it was even possible. There would be plenty of awkwardness to go around, especially on her end. It was nice that Casey already gave her would-be date the detai
ls on the whole lesbian-virgin thing, although Jill wasn’t sure if that information would be a good thing or a bad thing. Another thought began to make its way through her brain…kissing, touching, and oh dear God…sex!
Jill couldn’t imagine there would be any kissing let alone sex, maybe just a peck on the cheek and a light hug which was how she greeted every guest at her dinner parties. This shouldn’t be different…but then again it was; it was a meet and greet, a coming out party and her gift was an attractive woman named Meredith. This thought made the palms of Jill’s hand sweat. “Oh dear God…what have I gotten myself into?”
Molly watched as Jill paced the floor in angst. It was after 1:00 p.m. with nary a thing on her ‘to do’ list completed and she was panicking big time. With every thought and possibility devouring her brain, she couldn’t get out of her own way.
“This is ridiculous!” she yelled out as she pulled her hands through her hair in frustration. “It shouldn’t be this difficult.”
Jill needed to get a grip; she was beginning to come unglued and toyed with the idea of just canceling the whole thing, especially after the prior evening’s debacle. She still felt foolish, but if there was one thing she wasn’t it was a quitter and she certainly wasn’t a coward. She could do this since it was what she wanted…to explore her desire for the same sex, a journey into the unknown. At times she laughed at herself for coming out of the closet at forty-five years old…just seemed crazy and every doubt overflowed her brain causing her a slight vacillation until her attorney Jeffrey Collins propositioned her last night at the restaurant after Jackie left with that awful woman, Suzanne. He’s a bit young for her…but cute enough and would have taken him up on his offer, except there was one thing that stood in her way of ‘no strings attached’ straight sex and her name was Jackie. Although Jackie made it pretty clear, even before the girlfriend showed up…she was not at all interested.
And as her thoughts drifted back to the prior evening’s events, Jill knew she acted like a total douche bag and needed to apologize. But she was uncertain if Jackie would accept the apology because of her less than altruistic behavior, nevertheless, she just needed a few minutes of her time…but what would she say when she was face-to-face with that little chippy? ‘I’m sorry’, but what was she sorry for? Jill wasn’t sure she wouldn’t act the same way again, because she certainly wasn’t sorry for finding her attractive. So thinking it was probably not the best idea to traipse down to the law office, so she just sent flowers. Jeff did say he was promoting her, so Jill thought the gesture would be a good starting point and hopefully remove some of the awkwardness when she saw Jackie again and she was so hoping she would see her again sooner rather than later.
Jill sighed aloud, “C’est la vie”, she mumbled to herself as her thoughts turned back to Meredith. The woman was attractive and the profile Casey provided was stellar, but something was leading her to believe this would not be a love connection. Maybe a delightful way to get her feet wet so to speak…but there were no real sparks. Not that she could get sparks from just a photograph, but Jill hoped the meeting which was just a few hours away would, in fact, prove her wrong.
“But those eyes…that smile.” Jill couldn’t get Jackie out of her head and the fantasy presented itself in her mind…even just a kiss. That beautiful mouth, soft wet lips pressed against hers; those blue eyes piercing through hers and into her soul until she pressed her tongue into Jill’s wanting mouth making every bit of fear and doubt wash away.
Jill stood in the center of her kitchen with a glass of pinot in her hand, her eyes closed and the scene running on a loop inside her brain. “Oh my God.” Between the heart flutters and the butterflies in her stomach, she had it bad and hoped the feelings and desires could be transferred to an exquisite, Mediterranean looking woman whom she would meet soon.
“Okay Molly, I think I know what to do. Why don’t we just combine styles…have a little bit of everything, make it business casual.” This way she could have the best of both worlds and hope to appease her three guests.
After she had made the call to her personal shopper, she finished her second glass of wine and decided to take the dog out for a walk before she showered and prepped. Being forty-five took a little more primping to look good and she wanted to look spectacular. If this was her coming out party, then she was going to work it like a red carpet event. “I’ll have Meredith eating her heart out,” she said as she donned her running shoes and pulled the leash from the closet which of course was met with a much appreciative dog who was now jumping on her master barking with excitement.
It was 4:00 p.m. and Jackie was on her way out the door of the law office. Not being in the mood for the subway today, she decided to grab a taxi even though the rate would be ridiculous for a ten-mile jaunt…but this time of the day, traffic was a nightmare. Jackie poured out onto the city streets with the rest of the world looking for an available cab to wave down. When she heard her phone ding indicating a message been received and figured it was Casey inquiring about the driving arrangements again. Jackie was going to take Joni’s car since she wasn’t too keen on driving her bike in the dark and go separately…she wanted to leave early for the ‘date’ with Suzanne. She wasn’t really in the mood for this little soiree anyway but promised to be present during the ‘coming out’ party. Casey had gone on and on about her boss Jill Warner and this little lesbo introduction party so if she bailed, Casey would most assuredly be pissed. Not that it should matter anyway if a breakup was imminent. But if it was one thing Jackie was…it was considerate of everyone else’s feelings, sometimes her empathy gland was a little too big and as a result making her easy pickings for the takers of the world. In any event, she would act ‘as if’ until she could make a decision on what and whom she wanted.
As Jackie stood at the curb waving her hand in the air along with a half a dozen other people, a familiar car pulled up. “So much for giving me the time I need to figure this out.” She mumbled as the passenger side window began its slow descent.
“Hey gorgeous. Thought you could use a ride home,” Suzanne yelled through the car and over the volume of the busy city streets.
Jackie sighed, unsure if she appreciated this woman’s tenacity or resented it. “Hey yourself. I was gonna get a cab.”
“Nonsense, get in.”
Jackie’s shoulders slumped down, she wasn’t ready for this interaction. She needed the hours between work and 10:00 p.m. when she told Suzanne she would drop by her hotel room. However, she relented and stepped into the car. Suzanne didn’t say a word as they pulled away into the sea of traffic. Jackie figured she had a good hour to get ready until Suzanne showed up, but now she just thought either she would be mega late or a no show. Knowing it couldn’t be the latter she decided it was time to speak into the chasm of silence.
“So what made you come down here just to give me a ride home?” Jackie asked as she regarded the driver suspiciously.
“I just wanted to see you.”
“No ulterior motives like taking me back to your place and tempting me so I wouldn’t know how to refuse you?”
Suzanne gave a half smile as she looked over at her passenger, “No, I just wanted to give you a ride home. I know you have your dinner party tonight, but I wanted to see you just in case you don’t make it over tonight.”
Jackie didn’t say a word, unsure she was going to make the late night run over to Suzanne’s hotel room knowing it would be nothing but sex, or worse more of the same crying and begging from the night before outside her sister’s brownstone. She was grateful that Suzanne didn’t pressure her into making the decision to give her another chance. It was certainly too soon to wage a valid argument of staying, going, or trying again since the declarations of ‘I love you and I want you back’ still had her reeling. Although when Jackie’s glance held the sight of Suzanne’s profile, her heart began to flutter.
When they pulled up in front of her sister’s, Jackie noticed an empty space on the street and th
e light was on in the shop which meant Joni had clients. “Hey, pull into that spot and let’s go inside.”
“Really?” Suzanne asked with a hint of uncertainty in her voice. “Won’t your sister cast some kind of curse on me?”
Jackie giggled, “No, she’s not a witch. She’s working now and I think we should talk.
Without another word, Suzanne parked the car and they both exited. Once inside Joni’s townhome, Jackie walked back to her room while Suzanne timidly stayed in the living room.
Once Jackie was in her room she turned to reach for Suzanne, who to her surprise did not follow her back. “Hey, what the hell you doing? Come back here,” Jackie yelled as she stripped from her work attire. She only had about an hour before needed to get ready for a lesbo dinner party. But this was as good a time as any to bed the woman who was proclaiming her love and in all openness of hearts, bodies, and orgasms to see if there would be something different with this hookup than the first one. Maybe Suzanne had changed, maybe her love was real as she proclaimed it was…Jackie was having difficulty believing it to be true.
So when Suzanne walked through the threshold, Jackie was standing off to the side in just her bra and panties, slammed the door causing Suzanne to jump with a start. Ah, it is nice to turn the tables. Jackie thought as she forcefully pushed Suzanne against the wall of her bedroom. “We have sixty minutes…make a believer out of me.”
It wasn’t as if Suzanne didn’t want to devour the offered prey, but she knew how often Jackie wanted to be the taker, so she submitted herself to the desires of her lover.
“Oh Baby, take me,” Suzanne’s voice found Jackie’s ear in a hot breathy whisper.
The fire in Jackie ignited and she began to literally tear the clothing from Suzanne’s body. With one quick yank at the silk shirt, the buttons flung off and bounced onto the hardwood floors like gumballs and the closure to Suzanne trousers was hastily undone as the zipper was ripped open destroying the metal connectors rendering any future use impossible.
Without A Pail Page 13