Suzanne winced and groaned at the sheer force in which her pants and panties found their way to the floor with a heated tug from her hips.
Now Jackie had her right where she wanted her and to her amazement, Suanne wasn’t trying to take charge of any of it. This time it was all her, it was her turn to commandeer the moment and take it to every limit she could possibly reach. Now that she had Suzanne naked she was going to unravel every inch of her and when she glanced at the clock a wicked smile widened across her face as she mumbled “plenty of time”.
With one quick motion she shoved Suzanne onto the bed, her mind was wild; she was now the hunter with its prey ready to devour every bone. Quickly stripping the remaining garments from her own body, she launched onto the bed and covered the naked woman with her own naked form.
With her teeth biting into the flesh of Suzanne’s shoulder, her body rocked wildly between her lover’s legs. Suzanne was moaning, grunting, and writhing under the control of her lover and Jackie was reveling in the power and control, but there was so much she wanted to do…so much she wanted to inflict after being denied before at every turn. She wanted to turn Suzanne inside out, make her scream out in pleasure and in pain. She wanted to drain everything from Suzanne to let her know what it felt like even if it was just a smidgeon of it…feel the same emotional depletion she felt each and every time they made love.
Suzanne opened her legs wide to allow Jackie to fall completely between them, their bodies melting together, their swollen clits pressing together. Suzanne gripping wildly onto her lover's body, kissing, grunting, breathing heavily, and three little words said in a whisper as orgasms began to rip through them both at the same time...Suzanne moaned out in a sweet whisper “I love you,” as her body was rocked into ecstasy.
When Jackie fell limp upon her lover, completely spent physically, sexually and emotionally…heaving heavy breaths into the side of Suzanne’s head, her mind and heart betrayed her as she said those words, “I love you, Suzanne.”
Shit. Jackie thought as she lay motionless upon Suzanne’s naked form for a few moments. Then suddenly Jackie whispered, “I gotta get a shower.” She sprang up leaving Suzanne naked and confused.
Meanwhile, Jackie stood under the stream of the hot water muffling the sound of her sobs as best she could. To say it was a mistake having sex with Suzanne was an understatement, but the declaration of love that fell from her lips was a complete and utter disaster…not to mention ill-timed. There was no way she was ready to admit those feelings again and was unsure if she really felt them. However, it was a test she put herself through to verify said feelings. So now what? What was she to do, just fall back into the woman’s arms who had hurt her so much or to go on denying what she felt? She wasn’t really sure her feelings were genuine or just residual remnants of what existed and what was shattered months ago.
She heard the door creak open and immediately she silenced her sobs.
“Hey, I think I’m going to take off.” Suzanne’s tone was flat and somber. “It was really nice to see you and be with you.” She paused a minute and Jackie thought she might be waiting for any kind of reciprocation, but there was none, so Suzanne continued. “I know this is confusing for you, but I want you to know that I’m still here; I’m not going anywhere and I’ll wait for you…as long as you need me too. I meant what I said, I love you Jackie.”
Again there was a short respite of silence, Jackie felt awkward and uncomfortable; but what was she going to say, I’m not sure how I feel, the sex was a mistake. She couldn’t possibly say any of those words for fear it might hurt Suzanne or worse yet, leave before she was sure what she was feeling inside.
“I do hope you will come see me tonight. I don’t care how late. I’ll leave the room key at the front desk for you.” Suzanne sighed, “Enjoy your dinner party tonight.”
When Suzanne closed the door, Jackie slid down to the porcelain tub, wrapped her arms around her knees and sobbed like a child under the stream of hot water. “I can’t do this again…I can’t go up that hill.”
The ambiance was set perfectly; lights were slightly dimmed and the music she selected from her satellite radio was a station of an eclectic blend of today’s and yesterday’s hits. The wine was uncorked, the beer was on ice and the booze bottles were lined up waiting for a cocktail request. Jill hoped she had every kind of alcohol and mixture to accommodate her guests.
“So what do you think girl? Do you think I’ll turn any heads tonight?” Jill said as she looked past her reflection in the mirror to regard the hairy beast on her bed.
Jill donned her favorite ‘LBD’ knowing that it might be overkill since she’s only ever seen Casey in a ratty old t-shirt and a holey pair of jeans. She didn’t talk about a dress code and wasn’t really sure people dressed for parties these days. It was pretty much a casual world out there…but in Jill’s mind there were still some things you got dressed up for and a dinner party was one of them. If the others wore jeans, then she would just excuse herself and put something more comfortable on…either way, she wasn’t going to worry about it, her attire would be the least of her worries this evening.
“Okay girl, let’s get you all spiffied up too.” Jill smiled as she put a pink bandana around her dog’s neck. “Look at how beautiful you are.” She said in baby talk and as a thank you received several doggie kisses.
Casey did text her that she was bringing Meredith and that her girlfriend would be coming separately because she would probably be running late. She also let Jill know she would text her upon her arrival and not ring the bell. Casey was well aware of Molly’s anxiety when it came to that damn doorbell.
“Well girl it is 6:15 p.m. and our guests are fashionably late,” Jill said as she strode into her living room to refill her glass of wine…it was her third and she felt its warming effects.
It was a brilliant summer evening. Not a cloud in the sky, the sun was still beaming high in the great blue abyss and Jill couldn’t miss an opportunity to enjoy Mother Nature. Since she hadn’t heard from Casey yet, she slipped out through the patio doors leaving Molly inside. Because Molly had nearly jumped over the balcony wall chasing a pigeon, Jill made it a point to keep the dog inside or have her on a leash. Since she didn’t want to dig out the dog’s harness and leash she left Molly sitting on the other side of the glass door panting with that happy dog face she always has as she watched her master like a hawk.
Jill stood near the rail which was made of brick and stone and gazed out at the park; so many people still enjoying the warm summer sun. Children running and playing, she could hear their laughter from where she stood nine stories in the air. So many people walking dogs, holding hands…some playing games or trying to fly a kite and she imagined every summer was this magical and knew in her heart she was now a city girl. She hoped to be able to finagle this apartment in the settlement, if not buy it from that bastard husband of hers. Anger began to creep up in her as thoughts of Bill and the case surfaced to the forefront of her mind.
When Jackie stepped out of the elevator and walked down the corridor, she couldn’t shake the thoughts of Suzanne floating around in her head. It was the second time she had seduced Suzanne and it disgusted her how easily she abandoned her convictions. She wanted no parts of going back up that hill with Suzanne, but couldn’t seem to stay away from her long enough to make it stick. It was certainly easier when Suzanne was still in South Carolina, but now that she’s here in New York and professing her love, Jackie’s head was reeling. Her feelings didn’t shut off the minute Suzanne told her it was over and they didn’t fade when she was home. But she needed to let that woman go, but she wasn’t doing a good job of it. As much as she hated herself for wanting Suzanne, she knew she was going to see her tonight. What she didn’t know was how she was going to be able to look Casey in the eye without having guilt written all over her.
When Jackie reached Jill Warner’s door, she sighed loudly and willed her strength to come. She would tell Casey, but tonight was
n’t the night…she didn’t want to ruin the coming out party for Casey’s friend Jill, the newbie lesbo. Jackie rapped her knuckles lightly knowing not to ring the doorbell since Molly went berserk every time it sounded off. But no one came to the door after the third time she knocked. Thinking it was strange, she pressed her ear against the door and didn’t hear a sound. It was 6:30 p.m., she was late and didn’t figure she would be the first one there. Surely Casey and her friend Meredith would have been more prompt.
“Was it canceled?” Jackie wondered as she tapped her knuckles against the door one last time using a bit more force.
Nothing.
“Oh well, guess I’ll see if the door is unlocked. Maybe they are all out of the patio or something,” Jackie hoped she wouldn’t be walking in on the Mistress of the house dressing or something…she was sure this thing started at 6:00 p.m.
She turned the knob and to her surprise, it was unlocked. Nervously chewing on her bottom lip, she slowly pushed the door open just a crack and nearly shit herself when Molly’s snout pushed through the space accompanied by a very deep and scary growl.
“Hey girl it’s me,” Jackie said wondering where the hell everyone was and hoping this dog wasn’t going to try and rip her face off. She pushed the door open a little more to see a much calmer and happier dog standing, wagging her tail and looking up at Jackie with the sweet and happy pant face she always had. The dog stepped back as Jackie entered the home and closed the door behind her.
“Where is every one girl? Are they all on the patio?” Jackie asked as she crouched down to rub the dogs head.
Then Jackie stood up and walked through the foyer and into the living room toward the patio. The dog happily trotted at Jackie’s side as she patted her head. She stopped a few feet from the patio doors when she saw only one woman standing against the rail with her back turned, apparently taking in the spectacular views of the park. Jackie stood in silence and watched the hostess whom she only knew as Jill Warner; she had never met Casey’s boss slash friend nor seen a picture. She didn’t even know much about the woman other than she worked at the Manhattan Animal Shelter and she rescued the sweet dog standing to her side and leaning comfortably into Jackie’s leg.
Jackie watched as the woman’s long dark hair blew so elegantly in the breeze. Her eyes began a trail from the back of her head to the heels of her shoes. This woman was a knockout, at least from behind, and she began to feel a pang of jealousy that she wasn’t the one being set up on the blind date with this newbie lesbian. The corners of her mouth turned up into a sly grin. “Oh, the things I could teach you,” she said laughing to herself. Jackie knew she had enough issues with Suzanne and Casey to try and throw a third into the mix. The days of her sleeping around ended when she met Suzanne and when Suzanne broke her, she couldn’t get back into the swing of her old single life. It was always too much trouble and way too much drama than it was worth. She didn’t have the energy for all that bullshit now. But when she met Casey at the Cubbie Hole, they seemed to hit it off really well and she figured ‘what the hell.’ Was better than being lonely and sexually frustrated.
Jackie smiled at the thought of taking the woman off guard as she walked through the patio doors, spinning her around and capturing her mouth in a passionate kiss. She would surely say ‘Meredith who’ after that kiss. Jackie shook her head and laughed in spite of herself. “Oh well girl…those days are gone. I just don’t have that kind of drive anymore.”
She spun on her heel searching the area for where the booze was sitting. She needed a few drinks to drown out all the voices in her head. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do about Suzanne, but she knew one thing…her little experiment backfired and she was more confused than ever. She absolutely did not want to love that woman, but the frightening thing was she did still love her.
Jill downed the rest of her wine in a huff and spun on her stiletto and gasped with a start when she saw someone whose back was turned to her crouched down petting the dog. “Blonde hair?” Jill mumbled as she approached the patio doors. “Must be Casey’s girlfriend.” As Jill walked through the door, she was immediately taken aback by the familiar scent of perfume in the air.
While Jackie was scratching the dog’s head and talking baby talk to the dog, she heard the patio door open and then close complemented by the tapping of high heel shoes on a ceramic tile floor which slowed and stopped as the woman cleared her throat. Jackie swallowed hard feeling like an intruder, she was hoping Casey would appear before she was discovered wandering around in this woman’s apartment. Slowly she rose to her feet and turned around to face what she could only imagine was an annoyed woman seeing a stranger in her home.
As she turned, her eyes were downcast for a moment in her embarrassment and before she could utter a word of explanation of who she was and what she was doing alone in the apartment…her eyes caught the woman’s face, just as the woman gasped and dropped her wine glass to the floor. Jackie was in shock, she couldn’t believe Jillian Abbott was standing directly in front of her and looking amazing in her tight black dress and sling back heels.
“Oh my God,” Jill said still eyeing the intruder, she couldn’t believe Jackie Evans was standing in her apartment and it was apparent Jackie was just as surprised seeing Jill with that look of disbelief etched in her facial features.
“Wait,” Jackie said as she watched Jill begin to walk through the glass, then stumble. She was able to get there just in time to catch her before she went crashing to the floor onto the glass shards. She could feel Jill grab onto her like a life raft and as she righted the woman to her feet away from the glass she could have sworn she heard Jill say, ‘Is this a dream.’ But she definitely felt the woman’s lips touch her ear as the scent of her hair was being savored. Then when she pulled out of Jill’s embrace their eyes connected for a few moments and Jackie was locked into those light brown irises like a deer caught in headlights. Jill’s eyes in the bright daylight were almost the color of caramel and Jackie felt as if she could drown in them. It was a shame she hadn’t been able to see those eyes during the seduction at dinner the night before…she might have been more apt to look beyond the past and take the woman’s shameless come-ons and entertained the notion instead of getting Suzanne involved and creating the turmoil in her life again.
“Jackie, what are you doing here? I didn’t realize you knew where I lived,” Jill said as she watched Jackie walk over to her broom-closet and get the dust pan. What the hell? It took Jill a minute to put it all together. “Oh my God, you’re Casey’s girlfriend?”
Jackie didn’t respond right away…what was she going to say? ‘Of course I am, that is why I’m here.’ But she was sure there would be questions about the woman who came to the restaurant claiming to be the girlfriend.
After she had deposited the broken glass to the trash and returned the tools to their rightful place, she headed for Jill’s private stash.
“Well, you certainly seem to know your way around here.” Jill watched in amusement as Jackie walked around her kitchen like she owned the place.
Jackie smiled at Jill’s statement about her knowledge of the apartment. She had visited Casey several times during her babysitting duties of Molly. Jackie’s smile widened with her first sip of the expensive scotch and shook her head as her eyes rolled back recalling the memory of being licked on Jill’s sofa. She poured herself another, swallowing it down in one gulp but as she went to pour another Jill approached her, pulled the bottle and glass from her hand and proceeded to fill the rock glass three-quarters of the way.
Jackie stood there eyeing Jill silently as her host poured a healthy amount of the brown liquor into her rock glass. Then their eyes met again and Jackie licked her lips, and that strange feeling came over her again, the way the woman was standing way too close, staring down at her mouth. Jackie wanted to pull Jill close and kiss her…she couldn’t understand what the strange spell was every time she looked into Jill’s eyes.
Jill pulled her gaze
away and took a step back, “So, does this have anything to do with the woman you were with the last night?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and took a deep breath. “Sure does,” Jackie said as she took the offered glass of booze and began to sip the brown liquor and eyed her hostess, her girlfriend’s boss and for all intents and purposes her boss too. “I would appreciate if you wouldn’t mention Suzanne to Casey.”
“Ahh. I see, she’s the other woman.” Jill narrowed her eyes and glared at Jackie. She hated cheaters. Granted Casey and Jackie weren’t married, but still it pissed her off and it was still deception, betrayal, and after all CHEATING.
“No, she’s really the original one.”
“So you’re cheating on her with Casey?”
“No…I’m not cheating. Well not on her anyway. Look this is between Casey and me.”
“The hell it is, you put me in the middle.” Jill stood there with her hands placed firmly on her hips. “I’m sorry but this isn’t right. Casey is a nice girl and doesn’t deserve some player to be cheating on her.”
Not this time, Jackie thought. She was not going to allow this woman to berate her again. This was none of her business. “Oh, don’t fucking lecture me again, I’ve had enough of your high and mighty judgments,” Jackie rolled her eyes and walked away from her and into the living room. She knew it would certainly get under Jill’s skin to know she spent time there with her girlfriend enough to know the ins and outs of the apartment and she hoped Jill would subconsciously wonder if she and Casey defiled anything in her home with their naked bodies. The thought of it brought a smirk to Jackie’s face as she sat on Jill’s sofa like it was her own.
Jill watched as her first guest strolled her way into the living room and making herself comfortable. “What do you mean…lecture you again?” Jill grabbed another wine glass then put it down. She was much too irritated now for wine, it was time to get into the vodka.
Without A Pail Page 14