Were All Animals

by Mima

  He had no idea that he would be working so closely with the local detachment but Bud insisted that they be as accommodating as possible. Almost too accommodating, Chase considered, but said nothing. He learned right away what they wanted, the details that he would keep track of when they arrived in these cases, as well as how to not get in trouble himself. He would eventually discover that there was always an urge to drag these knuckle-draggers behind the bar and kick the shit out of them, but he knew Bud’s policy regarding this and respected it.

  Patrons quickly learned that he could take them on and were apprehensive about stepping on his toes, especially after seeing him do things like dragging a ‘patron’ out of the bar by the hood of his shirt, while he appeared to struggle to breathe. He obviously wouldn’t kill the fucker, but he was definitely making sure that people saw that he had a bit of animal inside of him, that he was not to be fucked with, something you had to do when you worked the door at a popular watering hole.

  Women were another story. The first time Chase broke up a fight between two of the female patrons, a slight grin on his face, he thought of an episode of Jerry Springer that he caught earlier in the week and he assumed it would be pretty simple. Women were smaller, so it wasn’t like pulling two Albertan cowboy wannabe’s apart; at least, that’s what he assumed. As it turns out, ripping apart two women in a passionate fight proved to be much more difficult. They didn’t just throw punches, they bit, they scratched and they did so in a blind rage, often with no idea who their victim was and in some cases, it was him. It was important to keep calm when stopping a fight and even more so with women because regardless of their sometimes questionable fighting methods, they were still smaller and therefore, he couldn’t be too brutal. It was a difficult balance to find, but usually speaking to them calmly, but sternly, while pulling them apart would help. It was also a matter of holding them from behind in order to stop flailing arms and legs.

  Chase quickly developed a sixth sense around patrons; who was trouble, who was in for a good time and who was there for a fight. It was something you had to learn in order to survive in such a shady environment. Apparently the winter months, he was told, were calm compared to the hot summer nights that would be coming up. College students returned to town, tourists came through and all sorts of people were around, so you had to be prepared for anything. Apparently, a student would be helping him out at that time. During the winter, it was mainly just Bud, who was much stronger than he appeared and occasionally another guy, who took the job very seriously, but was a bit of a softy and would sometimes allow people to go in without paying to ‘find a friend’ or some other nonsense.

  Overall, he enjoyed both his jobs, but there was still something unsettled in him, which he assumed that it was his desire to leave Hennessey and explore the world. Bud insisted that was a rite of passage and it only made sense he had wanderlust at such a tender age. Chase merely shrugged and assumed it was his circumstances that drove him to want to leave, more than anything else.

  He saw a lot less of Maggie, but she occasionally dropped by the bar after work. He knew that she was preparing for a written test, apparently the first step in a lengthy process of joining the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, but he was certain that she would pass with flying colors. She was researching every aspect of the process and talking to local detachment about what was expected of her, so it seemed inevitable. They couldn’t get a better girl, as far as he was concerned. Although, when she went off to train, he would miss her.

  It was sometime in early March that he went ‘home’ to do some laundry and catch up on a few things, that he was surprised to find a whole slew of cars outside. It wasn’t until he walked in the door that Chase remembered the baby shower that was to take place that day.

  Fuck!

  Quickly rushing in through the back door and right into the basement, he was pretty sure that no one noticed him from the living room, where the event was taking place. There was so much noise from the women loudly commenting on gifts, playing games, whatever the hell they were doing, that they hadn’t heard him enter the house. He threw his clothing in the machine and turned it on and then quietly walked back upstairs and finally, snuck up to the room that he was supposed to share with Audrey. There weren’t many of his possessions in the house, let alone the room, but he did have to grab some more clothing, the stuff that he wore every day was in the machine, but he wanted to gather what was remaining to throw in the car.

  Wanting to sneak away and hopefully not return until after the shower was over, he jumped after hearing a small knock at the door. Turning to see it was still open ajar, he was surprised to find his Aunt Maureen. His mother’s sister was one of the few relatives that he communicated with and quickly shared a smiled with her as she entered the room. Her long black hair pulled into a bun, it was clear that she had been dying it for years, other wise she would’ve been gray while still in her early 30s. She was his mom’s younger sister and other than having similar features, the two couldn’t have been more different. Maureen spent many years in university and now worked in the finance department for the government. He had no idea what she did, he just knew her to be smart, ambitious and kind.

  “Did you think you would sneak in here without me noticing?” She asked as she crossed the room and pulled him into a hug, softening his presence in a house that usually brought him so much tension.

  “I was hoping no one would notice me, not that I even know who’s here,” Chase confessed, feeling apprehensive and briefly, shameful of his part in this situation.

  She let go and shared a bright smile with him and he felt his defenses drop. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she gestured for him to do the same.

  “So, I’m getting two stories. My sister tells me that you are excited about the baby and head over heels in love,” She commented, the smile only brightening as she spoke, while Chase let out a groan of frustration. “And another that says you didn’t want this baby, were possibly tricked and forced into moving in this house. I would love to think it is the first one, but something tells me it is the latter.”

  ‘I don’t want this, Maureen,” Chase spoke softly, fearful of what she would think of his words. “It was a horrible mistake and mom jumped in with both feet and..

  “That’s okay,” She replied, her hand up to indicated he stop, an assortment of expensive rings sparkled when met with the sunlight that entered the room. “I know my sister. You don’t have to explain. She misreads a lot of situations, unfortunately.”

  “Misreads? I think that’s probably a nice way to put it,” Chase confessed, running his hands through the short bristles of hair on his head and looked down at his feet.

  “Your mom comes from a completely different world than you,” Maureen replied, hesitating as if to search for the right words. “And I’m in no way trying to justify her actions, I don’t believe she should’ve thrown you out, but I do understand why she did it. She grew up around men who weren’t responsible for their actions. I assume she is worried that you will be the same.”

  “What do you mean?” Chase asked as their eyes met again.

  “It’s not my place to say, you just have to trust me on this one,” Her rich brown eyes were full of love and it was hard for him to not soften in his stand on the matter. “As for the marriage and baby, I don’t know what to tell you, Chase. You have to follow your heart.”

  “This isn’t in my heart,” He replied quietly, hearing the emotion in his voice, he could see Maureen automatically react. Her eyes were mirroring his sadness.

  Rather than speak, she reached out and touched his hand. It was a small gesture, but it felt as though his anger seeped out of him and drained into the carpet below his feet. All that was left was despair.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  It was his buzzing phone that woke him. Sunlight flowed through the window and touched his face but this time, it was setting, not rising in the skies
. His irregular sleep patterns were the unfortunate result of working two jobs that were starting to fuck with his body, as his clumsy hand felt around for his phone. Realizing that it was asleep, he quickly rose and grabbed his cell with his left hand and glanced at the unfamiliar number and cringed. These days, there was always the fear that he would receive a call that Audrey was in labor and he wasn’t prepared for that moment. In fact, the thought made his stomach swirl in nausea and dread grasped at his heart.

  “Hello.” It was a hesitant statement, his voice emotionless, as he attempted to shake his right hand out of its current stupor. Exhaling loudly, he felt like a hidden magnet was pulling his body toward the ground, attempting to suck the last of his life into the earth.

  “Chase?” A feminine voice alarmed him on the other end, recognizing the fear that was saturated into a soprano tone that suddenly sprang his senses awake.

  “Yes.”

  “It’s Ellen Telips here,” Maggie’s mom suddenly spoke in a lower tone and he could hear the clicking of heels in the background, a slight echo in the phone. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if maybe you would have time to stop by sometime tonight?”

  Chase glanced at a nearby clock and took a moment to refocus. It was Tuesday and his day off from both the bar and gym, so that was no problem, however, his concern was what was wrong. Maggie’s mother rarely spoke to him and never called him. Unsure of how to express his concerns, he merely made a casual reply, “yup, sure.”

  “Thanks, Chase, she’s really upset and I feel like everything I say seems to make things worse,” Her final words fell into a sob and he automatically felt helpless and weak. Frowning he listened as she regained her composure. “She didn’t pass the written test for the RCMP.”

  Chase felt his heart sink. He knew how much that meant to Maggie. Although she had casually mentioned that the test was coming up - preparing for it months in advance - he had no idea of the date. Had she told him and he forgotten? Guilt swept over him and he frowned.

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” His voice was soft, quiet and he struggled to think of what else to say, but he came up empty. “I had no idea.”

  “She tried to keep it a secret,” Her mother admitted. “She borrowed the car and went off to take it, I didn’t even know.” She hesitated for a moment, he could hear her take a sorrowful breath and continue. “She’s devastated. I can’t seem to get through to her that she can take it again, that this isn’t exactly the end of the road, but she won’t even talk to me. I thought that since you two are so close, maybe you would have better luck.I feel like everything I say is making it worse, not better.”

  “I understand,” Chase replied but did he really? What if he made her feel worse? Lately, he felt like an emotionless machine, a distant reminder of his old self, he knew that wasn’t normal, but wasn’t sure he could ever go back to the complex person he used to be not even a year earlier. “I will go over.” His reply felt robotic, but if she noticed, Ellen didn’t comment.

  “Thank you,” She quietly replied and he heard another sniff at the other end of the phone. “I appreciate it.”

  “Can I bring anything?”

  “She won’t eat, but if you can think of anything…”

  “I’ll bring some food,” He replied and racked his brain. What the hell did Maggie like to eat? Chocolate? She loved chocolate.

  Ending the conversation, he rushed to get ready and was out the door within minutes. On the highway, he felt anxiety fill him up while frustration washed to the surface. It wasn’t fair. Maggie was a good person and worked really hard and yet, she got the shit end of the stick. Meanwhile, girls like Audrey lied and manipulated and the world fell at her feet.

  What the fuck?

  Arriving at the same drugstore where he ran into Lucy a few months earlier, he went into the candy section and suddenly felt like nothing was right. Chocolate? Did he really think chocolate would make her feel better? Turning around, his eyes scanned the entire store but Chase felt defeated. He finally decided to grab a box of expensive candy that he knew she loved. After paying, he headed into the parking lot and glanced at a nearby cafe. As much as he wanted to avoid bread, he was starving and the idea of a sandwich was making his stomach roar. He went in, settled on a turkey on pita bread and the largest cup of coffee he could possibly get. He got one for Maggie too.

  Driving to her house, he ate the pita in about three bites, he was so hungry and sunk the remainder of his coffee in her driveway. Grabbing the candy and coffee, he rushed up the step. Suddenly feeling awkward, as if he was there for a date, Chase was relieved that her mother didn’t make any comment about the gifts in his hand. She gave him a sad, pathetic smile and actually looked touched by the gesture.

  “Thanks,” She replied weakly and he slowly made his way upstairs, his legs like lead, he felt like a huge, clumsy monster rather than the compassionate friend. He thought he saw her younger sister peeking out her door, but wasn’t sure. Finding his way to her room, a gentle knock on the door was senseless because she didn’t answer.

  “Maggie, it’s me,” His voice was hoarse, “Can I come in?

  Silence. He heard movement in the room and was somewhat alarmed when the door slowly inched opened and he was met by a tearstained face and bloodshot eyes. A slight scent of vanilla perfume alerted his senses, while he felt frozen on the spot, unsure of what to say or do. Feeling stupid, he silently passed her the coffee and chocolate. Her faded, blue eyes glanced at the gifts and a smile was attempted but didn’t quite make it. Her eyes filled with tears and she started to cry again. Moving in the door, his heart lurched and he silently pulled her into a hug as her body shook with sobs, he ran his hand up and down her back, attempting to be comforting, but feeling as though he was falling short.

  She finally let go of him and wiped the tears away with her hand. Gesturing toward the bed, he started to follow her.

  “Close the door,” She instructed and he did so. “Thanks, Chase.”

  He turned back to see her opening the coffee, the candy sitting beside her on the bed. Walking over, he was hesitant to join her, feeling as though he should say something, but what?

  “I failed, Chase.”

  “You can write it again,” He quickly countered. “You were probably nervous, that’s normal-

  “I shouldn’t have failed,” She cut him off, shaking her head. “I planned, I prepared, I knew what was expected of me and then, I totally choked.”

  “We all choke, Maggie. We all make mistakes.”

  “But I shouldn’t have,” She stared at her coffee cup and took another drink. “If I can’t even get through this first step, how am I supposed to do the rest? There’s still a physical test, an interview, so many things, Chase. I can’t do it.”

  “You can do it,” He sternly insisted. “You can do anything, Maggie.”

  She looked back into his eyes and they silently communicated without saying a word. His strength was enough for the two of them and he hoped she could sense that even though he understood her fears and misgivings. “I know you can. Between the two of us, you’re the one who’s going to make it. You have to…”

  “Chase, don’t say that..” She shook her head, her face glowed a warm shade of pink, as she blinked rapidly as if to regain her composure. “That’s not true. You can do anything too.”

  “I don’t think so, Maggie.” He whispered.

  Neither said a word but there was a shared message that was clear and somehow caused Maggie to sit up a little straighter, her composure changing before his eyes, to someone who regained her confidence. Looking away, her lips were pursed in anger and suddenly took a long swig of her coffee and finished it off in a couple more drinks. Chase felt awkward and glanced down at his hands.

  “Do you want some of the candy?” She pointed toward the chocolates.

  Chase shook his head no. “I don’t eat candy
.”

  “I know, but, I thought I would ask.”

  “That’s fine, they’re all yours.”

  “Thank you, Chase,” She sat the empty coffee cup on the floor. “This was so kind of you.”

  “You should’ve let me know.” He replied, his eyes searching her face.

  “You’re busy.”

  “I don’t care and you know that,” His reply was stern. “You should’ve told me.”

  “I didn’t tell anyone.”

  Chase didn’t reply.

  Maggie yawned and he noted that she was wearing a baggie black t-shirt and shorts, her usual nighttime attire. “I’m sorry, I never thought, you probably want to get some sleep. I mean, that might make you feel better.” Glancing at the clock, he realized that it was only 7:50.

  “I didn’t sleep at all last night,” She confessed. “I was so nervous.”

  “That’s okay,” Chase replied and rose from the bed. “I can go. Your mom’s probably not crazy about me being up here, alone with you anyway.” He let out a self-conscious laugh, knowing that her mother never really fully believed that the two were just friends, despite the fact that her daughter was a lesbian. “If you get some sleep, I think you’ll feel better.”

  “No, don’t leave,” She stood up beside him and he immediately felt his defenses fall to the ground. Her hand reached out and touched his forearm. Tears began to flood her eyes again. “Please just stay a while with me, till I fall asleep. I know if I’m here alone, I’m going to get crazy.”