by Mima
“Kelsey, this is a bigger deal than you think. This is porn and you can’t take back these movies once they’re out there.”
“I don’t care.”
“You might.”
“You do them.”
“You can’t see me in the movies.”
“I can see some of you,” She purred moving closer. “I can hear you. It’s sexy and-
“No,” Chase spoke sternly. “Nothing is happening here, Kelsey.”
“Is it cause of Maggie or because I’m almost 17.”
“Both,” He replied and took a deep breath. “Look, Kelsey, I don’t know how to fix this, maybe I can talk to Bud about taking the movies down and-
“I don’t want him to take them down,” Kelsey’s comment was abrupt. “I’m proud of my work, I look sexy and I want to do more.”
“No, Kelsey, you don’t want this…” He couldn’t believe that this was a conversation he was having with Maggie’s sister. “And you’re too young and I would never do anything to hurt Maggie and this would hurt Maggie.”
“Fuck her! This is my life,” Kelsey defiantly crossed her arms over her breasts and reminded him of a stubborn child.
“You’re a minor, you can’t-
“I won’t stop doing them.”
“What can I say to make you stop?”
“You know,” She moved closer, placing her hand on his chest.
“That’s not happening.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
“That’s not why.”
“I won’t tell Maggie.”
“No, Kelsey.”
“I want you, though,” She whispered. “I keep watching those movies you’re in and I wish that was me and listening to you make me-
“Kelsey, no,” He insisted. “This can’t happen.”
“Then I won’t stop making the movies.”
“You have to stop,” He suddenly heard an adult voice coming out.
“You can’t do anything about it,” Kelsey insisted, her blue eyes boldly stared into his, while her hand continued to travel over his body. “I won’t stop. If you tell my mom, I will tell everyone about you.”
Fuck!
“Kelsey,” he attempted to ignore her hands running over his chest. “This isn’t about me, this is about you. You’re like a little sister to me and-
“I don’t think your sister would be doing this to you,” She muttered, her breath labored, as her hand traced past his belly button and Chase fought back his impulse to give in, convincing himself that she was only a couple years younger than him. Reaching down, he removed her hand, their eyes met and he shook his head. “This is not a road you want to go down and I wouldn’t be much of a man if I let you. You’re too good for this Kelsey.”
“I just want to be with you.”
“That can’t happen.”
“Why not?” She asked defiantly. “You cheat on your wife, so it’s not like you have a real marriage. You can’t have Maggie, even though it’s clear you want her. I’m almost 17, you’re barely 20, we’re practically the same age.”
“Practically isn’t enough,” his voice was soft.
“What if I were 18, would you say no to me then?” She was wide-eyed and it was a question he couldn’t answer. “If Maggie gave it her blessing, if I was of age, if it wasn’t on camera anymore. Would you?”
Considering the fact that it was well over a year away and not something she’d probably even care about by the time she turned 18, he also realized that this might be the only way to stop her from making more movies. “Yes.”
“Really?” She asked, her face full of hope and he felt deceitful but at the same time, he had to get her out of this business. There was no other option.
“Yes, when you’re 18, if you still feel this way, then I will.”
He couldn’t believe he was actually making this deal or that he had to; it was ludicrous to even consider.
“I have to find a way to get those movies offline,” Chase heard his thoughts entering the quiet room and she stood back, suddenly shy in his presence.
“I didn’t really make them.”
“I thought you said you did.”
“I did,” She nodded earnestly. “I mean, I was being filmed but Bud said I wasn’t quite ready to go live yet. It was kinda practice.”
Chase had a bad idea what the practice run was really for; he wondered if Bud used it as one of his personal jerk off materials and he felt sick even thinking about it. Had he sold the opportunity to be with her? He looked away and didn’t say anything for a long moment, while Kelsey appeared nervous. “Kels, did you do anything with Bud?”
She shrugged nervously and he knew the answer. He felt as though his world was crashing down, the person he didn’t want to see in Bud now had a glaring light and he couldn’t ignore it any longer. “It was like an audition. I didn’t have to really do much, I-
The anger started deep inside him, burning through his stomach until it lurched forward, finding it’s way to his throat, as it filled every inch of his body. It was a power that was unlike any other, he felt as if he could tear the side of out the building his bare hands, a murderous explosion filled him as he flew out the door. The worst possible situation would be to find Bud in the other room, calmly using two fingers to type an email, as if nothing unusual or illegal was happening in his bar, but that’s exactly where he was when Chase charged at him.
Stunned, fear filled his face when Chase grabbed him by his shirt and ripped him up from his chair. “She’s a fucking minor, you piece of shit.!”
“I…yeah, but she’s just a-
“Listen to me, you’re getting rid of every movie she’s in right now or I swear to God, I will fucking kill you, right here, right now and no one’s going to give a shit when they find out what a fucking slime you are,” his voice was calm, almost tranquil as he uttered the threats, despite the fact that he was squeezing both of Bud’s shoulders so tight, that he was expecting to feel a bone break beneath his own fingers, his grasp so strong that he thought he would never let go.
“I..yes, yes. I will,” Bud replied, terror running through his eyes as Chase loosened his grip. “I will, I will, I swear..”
His hands shook as he deleted files, opening them first to show that they were Kelsey. There were two; one with him and another with some old guy that made Chases’ skin crawl, he felt his stomach turn and momentarily feared he would vomit. However, he was able to pull back his emotions and focus.
“Is that it, are those movies on the site?” Chase demanded. “On an external hard drive? Anywhere?”
“No, no, I swear, no!” Bud’s voice shook as he rose both his hands up as if to surrender. “You can look.”
Chase decided against it.
Glancing toward Kelsey, she looked more frightened than Bud; if that were possible.
“If I find out otherwise or that you have anything else going on with underaged girls here, I swear, I will come back and I will fucking kill you and then, I’ll burn this fucking place to the ground, you got it?” Chase asked, not recognizing the person speaking as if a stranger had taken over his body.
Bud nodded yes and there was no doubt that in his mind, he meant it.
Turning toward Kelsey, he gestured toward the door. “I will meet you outside. Wait by my car.”
She moved quickly, silently and slipped out the door, closing it behind her.
Turning back to Bud, he held nothing back. “You’re one sick fuck, you know that?”
“I did it for you,” Bud attempted to justify. “She came around and I thought that you-
“Wanted to have sex with Maggie’s younger, jailbait sister?” Chase attempted to finish his sentence. “Seriously?”
“She’s a lot older than she looks,” Bud attempted to reason.
“So you t
hought you’d take her out for a test drive?” Chase felt his anger rising again and he forced himself to stand still.
“That wasn’t my idea,” Bud spoke defensively. “She insisted on it and I..I was weak. She’s a nymph, that girl she’s-
“Just stop,” Chase cut him off. “Stop right there. I don’t want to hear it.”
A silence followed as Bud stared at him, not even blinking, as if in fear of what Chase would do if he even moved an inch.
Chase felt heavy when he left the bar that one, last time. Disappointment and shame filled him and only increased when he went outside to find Kelsey standing by his car. His anger toward Bud felt slightly unjustified when maybe he was no better.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Chase started to calm down on the drive home. At first, he didn’t talk to Kelsey, nor did she speak to him. Like a shame-filled child slumped over in the passenger seat, he felt compassion for her as she chipped at her pink fingernail polish, her expression encompassed various degrees of pain and misery, almost as if there were a dam about to break. He felt pity for her and although she attempted to display her femme fatale side at the bar, she now resembled the dreary teenager she actually was; this softened his anger.
He remembered sitting on the passenger side of Maggie’s car only a couple years earlier, feeling very much as he suspected Kelsey felt at that moment. Of course, the situations were completely different but when you experience that combination of remorse, defeatism as if you are the lowest form of a human, you recognize it in someone else. He wanted to say something but they were back in Hennessey when he spoke again.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” She sniffed. “What do you think?”
Chase took a deep breath and ran his hand over his head. He didn’t understand teenage girls when he was a teenager, let alone now, that he felt more like a 40-year-old man, rather than a mere 20. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but he couldn’t not say anything.
“Kelsey, it’s going to be okay,” he calmly assured her. “Trust me, Bud got rid of everything and we can forget this happened. You’re lucky because nothing was put online. I’ll even double check when I get home but I’m sure everything is fine.”
“Don’t you get it! Everything is not fine,” Kelsey sobbed, a shot of anger mixed in with her cries alarmed Chase and he felt unable to speak. “I don’t feel like anything is fine. I don’t care if the stuff we did is out there or not. I want to be with you, Chase and you think I’m some stupid kid. You only did what you did tonight because I’m Maggie’s sister, otherwise you couldn’t have cared less.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is, if you didn’t know me, you would’ve had sex with me and never even thought twice about it,” she insisted as he glanced over to see her wiping away a tear with her hand, while makeup started to run in the corners of her eyes. “You would’ve fucked me, we would’ve made a movie together and you would’ve never asked my age.”
Was that true? Chase felt a heaviness fill his chest and he glanced at her. She did look slightly older than her age but would he even considered that Bud would hire a minor? Did he have blind faith in someone he shouldn’t have trusted at all? These questions weighed down on him as they got closer to Kelsey’s house and she stared out the window beside her.
When he pulled into her driveway, she flew out of the car and ran up the steps of her house. He noted that Ellen Telips wasn’t home and was kind of relieved since he didn’t want Kelsey’s mother to start asking too many questions. Then again, should she know? Should he call Maggie? There didn’t seem to be any right answer. Was he just covering his own ass?
Back at home, he found Audrey on the couch, head in hand, while three children cried upstairs. He didn’t say a word but made his way up to the bedroom of the twins, realizing that both needed a diaper change, while Leland appeared to want attention more than anything. He calmly went through the motions, while his mind was back on Kelsey.
Fuck! Why didn’t I get her number?
Knowing that he couldn’t exactly ask Maggie for her younger sister’s number, he reluctantly texted Bud. He replied quickly, with an apology, an explanation, and Kelsey’s cell number. Chase ignored the first two comments but reluctantly realized that maybe that in his own twisted way, Bud thought he was doing him a favor. It was sick and fucked up but he had a nagging feeling that this was what was going on.
Kelsey, it’s Chase. Are you ok?
She replied right away.
No. Can you come see me?
He immediately recognized that maybe he made a mistake.
No, I have three screaming kids that I have to look after.
After a brief pause…
Can I help?
Chase grinned at the idea, although he certainly would’ve appreciated any help he could get at that point.
No, thanks though.
Feeling overwhelmed, but satisfied that the kids were all calmed down, he went back downstairs. Audrey was lying on the couch.
“You’re back early,” She commented without opening her eyes.
“I quit the bar.”
“What?” her eyes flew open. “Chase, we need the money.”
“I still work at the gym full time, Audrey.”
“We need more money, this is way too expensive.”
“Maybe you should’ve thought of that when you decided to not use birth control.”
“The woman isn’t the only one responsible,” she snapped.
“Yeah, I asked you if you were on the pill both times and both times you said yes,” he reminded her. “I offered to use a condom other times and you said no and here we are, you’re living your dream life.” his comment was purposely sarcastic, with every intention of hurting her.
“You hate me, don’t you?” she asked.
He didn’t reply as he left the room. Going outside, he briefly considered sitting on the step and breathing in the cool, evening air, just being alone for a few minutes. However, deep down, he knew that the second he sat down either Audrey or Flora would be there talking to him. Not that he had a chance, his phone rang. Assuming it was Kelsey, he grabbed it and started to walk toward the car.
It was Angel.
She was crying.
“It’s stage four,” she sobbed loudly, her words barely coming out as her voice shook.
“What?” Chase asked even though, on some level, he knew exactly what was going on.
“Dad, he has stage four Cancer,” she sniffed. “Mom just told me.”
“What?” Chase thought back to a brief visit their mother made to the house the day before, often stopping in to help out with the babies. “Mom saw me yesterday, she didn’t say anything.”
Although their relationship was still pretty strained, it struck him odd that she wouldn’t tell him something that was so serious. “Are you sure, Ang?”
“Yes,” she sniffed, her voice slightly calmer. “She called me and asked I tell you too. They’re both in shock, Chase, he’s scared and mom’s running around like a lunatic, as usual.”
“She doesn’t want to believe it,” Chase commented, leaning against his car, his legs felt weak beneath him. He reached out to touch the door to steady himself, but it was as if nothing felt safe. His world continued to fall apart around him like a nightmare that never ended.
“Neither do I,’ Angel had a softness in her voice that made her barely recognizable. A layer of anger had dissolved, her vulnerability suddenly was apparent in a way that made Chase question if it had really been there all along; he just hadn’t noticed.
The rest of the fall flew by as his father’s health declined. Chase felt as though his life was a non-stop merry-go-round that was flying out of control. He worked. He came home, changed diapers, fed children, did laundry, then went back to work. In between, he got in his regular workouts - the only
time he had to himself - while occasionally doing ‘handy’ work at Flora’s, which oddly came as a diversion from his regular life, a minor distraction that often satisfied him more than he expected. She also was around all the time, in attempts to help a grateful Audrey out with the children.
His life was insanity and on days when he thought things couldn’t get worse, he would get a call from Kelsey, who wanted to talk. Occasionally she sent him a totally inappropriate image that she thought would change his mind, especially after she turned 17 and suddenly felt that her prison sentence of being a minor was almost over; therefore making Chase a more intimate part of her life.
“I’m counting the days!” She once commented to him and he was surprised when he felt a jolt of desire rising in him, but he didn’t tell her. He could never tell her.
Maggie was almost a distant memory, rarely calling or texting since her move. He did his best to stay in contact but wasn’t getting the impression she wanted to do the same. She was slowly moving through the various tests involved in becoming an RCMP officer, although her desire to do so seemed depleted, at least that’s what Chase sensed from her.
Maggie was a very different person now but he couldn’t put his finger on what that change was or when it happened. He got the impression that she was seeing someone and sometimes wondered if she was ‘allowed’ to talk to him anymore; something he couldn’t help but resent, considering he was married with children and always found time for her. He wondered also if she knew about his relationship with Kelsey, although it was pretty innocent in nature. At least, his side was innocent.
It kind of hurt him when Maggie seemed to show little interest in his father’s illness. Not that she knew his dad well, but she was his friend and it was a pretty heavy situation. His dad was dying. There was no denying it. No one talked about it in their family but it was clear that Carl Jacobs was quickly going downhill. He had waited too long to go to their family doctor, insisting that he was fine but in reality, cancer was eating away at him. It started in his prostate and quickly moved to his stomach. The doctors talked chemo and surgery but in the end, it was desperate attempts to keep a dying man alive and uncomfortable for his remaining days.