Second Rate Chances

by Stephens, Holly

  Sam shrugged her comment off. “He wouldn’t have taken it, you know that. Besides,” he said, leaning in, stealing a kiss. “He loves you. You should have been calling him all these years to have him do it.”

  He was right, of course. Paul Travers was the first person she thought of each year when the weathermen warned of the impending snow. But, she couldn’t bring herself to call him. It would have inevitably lead to discussions of Sam, or how she was, and she hadn’t been ready to travel down that road. Hell, up until a few weeks ago she still wasn’t. Amazing what a little communication did for people.

  “I need to shower,” she stated. “Maybe give me half an hour? I’ll be quick.”

  “Take all the time you need. We can afford it,” Sam said.

  But could they?

  ~~~~

  Forty-five minutes later, Sam and Lil were in her car headed for Rusty’s. She had let him drive, without even giving it a second thought. He glanced over every now and then as he drove with one hand on the wheel and one hand holding hers. Every time he glanced her way, she could see out of the corner of her eye that he had a smirk on his face. If she weren’t in such a good mood, she would have knocked it right off of him.

  Sighing Lil said, “Fine! I know I said half an hour but it took longer to blow dry my hair.” Sam laughed, squeezing her hand in the process. “It’s cold out,” she whined. “You wouldn’t want me to catch pneumonia would you?” She batted her eyelashes at him while simultaneously poking out her bottom lip. Sam brought their intertwined fingers to up to his mouth and kissed her hand.

  “I’d hate myself if I would have rushed you. You look beautiful, by the way,” he said. Lil thought the darkness of the car would help hide her smile but she was mistaken. She knew Sam saw just how his words affected her.

  It wasn’t anything special, what she was wearing. A pair of skinny jeans tucked into her knee length brown boots. The shirt, hidden at the moment by her jacket, was a crème off-the-shoulder sweater.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “You look pretty great yourself.”

  They pulled into the parking lot of Rusty’s and Sam nearly had another accident as he rushed to her side to open the door. Hand in hand, they walked through the cars and into the neon lights of Rusty’s.

  Lil looked around as they entered; the place looked exactly the same as she remembered. She should have stopped by more often to see Rusty, but with work and…Oh, who was she kidding. Lil had no one to blame but herself. She hadn’t stopped in because she didn’t want to remember the good times she used to have here or risk the chance of running into Sam.

  Rusty spotted them as soon as they entered, whistling their arrival. Lil smiled and walked in long strides up to the bar top, practically dragging Sam in her wake. She released his hand and hopped up on the edge, balancing herself on her forearms and kissed Rusty on the cheek. He blushed at her affection but smiled when he noticed Sam behind her.

  “Well, the gang’s all officially here!” Rusty bellowed.

  Sam slid his arms around Lil’s waist. “What do you mean?”

  Rusty nodded to where their table sat. “The boyfriends and Ellie and her new man are in the back.”

  Sam and Lil turned their heads at the same time and sure enough, the gang was all there.

  “You two go on ahead,” Rusty said. “I’ll bring over your drinks.” He laughed more to himself when he added, “And if I get too backed up, I’ll just holler for Ellie to get her ass up here and bring them to you. I can tell the way she’s giving my waitresses the stink eye she’s dying to put an apron back on and show them how it’s done.”

  Sam and Lil said their thanks to Rusty and headed to the table of their friends. They walked through the tables, hand in hand, until they arrived at the place they had sat at many nights. Four pairs of eyes looked up when Sam and Lil towered over them, their gazes glued to their intertwined hands. Thinking nothing of it, Lil released Sam's hand when he made work to remove her coat.

  “Hello longtime friends,” Lil said brightly. “Thanks for the drink, doll.” She grinned at Kane and popped the cherry from his glass into her mouth.

  Sam held out her chair then took the empty seat next to her and Kane. Abe was next to Zach, practically in the poor boy’s lap.

  “Lil!” Abe squealed. “I think I'm in love.”

  “You're cut off,” Kane said blandly.

  Zach's eyes cut to Abe as he inched closer and closer to Zach. Lil giggled in front of everyone. “Abe, babe, Zach is clearly hetero.”

  “So.” Abe pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “I can look. This ass,” he said nodding to his boyfriend, “won’t let me touch.”

  “You're scaring him,” Kane replied.

  “Am not. I'm not scaring you, am I?” Abe's looked at Zach and batted his lashes.

  Rusty brought their drinks, delivering refills to almost everyone at the table. Everyone except for Abe. Kane mouthed a silent thank you to Rusty who chuckled as he walked away.

  “Abe,” Ellie said in a serious tone. “My man doesn’t want what you’ve got. I keep him perfectly satisfied.” She leaned over and nuzzled her face in Zach’s neck. Zack kissed the top of her head, smiling down at Ellie and keeping his eyes off of Abe.

  “Zach,” Abe said, his voice sickly sweet. “Who has a better ass?”

  Ellie lifted her head and glared at Abe.

  “Anyway,” Lil said, hoping to get the focus off of Abe’s new crush. “What brings everyone out tonight?”

  “It’s Friday night,” Kane said as if nothing had changed and they all still hung out at Rusty’s every Friday night.

  “We were going to go to the movies,” Ellie said, “but we decided to run in here and say hi to Russ beforehand. We saw these two and decided…well as you can see, Abe hasn’t let Zach out of his sight.” Ellie looked at her watch and let out an exaggerated sigh. “That was almost an hour ago.”

  “I for one am glad we’re all here,” Sam said, throwing his arm over the back of Lil’s chair. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Lil scooted closer until she was tucked away under his arm.

  Kane sipped his drink while Abe took a swallow of his glass of water, their eyes asking a million questions that neither wanted to ask aloud. Ellie arched an eyebrow to Lil but Lil shook her head briefly. She didn’t want this night ruined with questions she didn’t know the answers to.

  Zach on the other hand, seemed oblivious to the close nature Lil and Sam had acquired.

  “I have those DVD’s in the truck if you want them,” Zach said to Lil.

  “Great! I’ll get them from you before we leave.”

  “What DVD's?” Abe inquired. “Lil please tell me this hunk and I share a love for Balki. You know,” Abe said, lifting one side of his mouth in a grin, “we can happy dance later if you'd like.”

  The whole table erupted into laughter.

  “Night Court,” Lil finally said when she caught her breath.

  “Ugh. Really? Zach you just went down, like, two notches in my book.” Abe scooted away from Zach and closer to Kane.

  “What? Zach can appreciate the fine art of Harry T. Stone.” Lil said in Zach’s defense.

  Zach took a drink from his beer bottle and said, “Actually, I kind of dig Roz. She's a bad ass.”

  “The only person worth watching on that show was Bull,” Abe said, stressing his opinion by pointing his finger at Zach. “Now that was a man of worth.”

  The friends laughed and joked around like they had never been apart. It was easy. Almost as if they had picked up right where they had left off. Before all the breakup drama.

  “This is nice,” Kane said wistfully. “Just like old times.”

  “Plus one,” Abe said, eying Zach again.

  “It's nice to be able to sit across from Sam and not want to gouge his eyes out with my pen.” Kane said. Everyone laughed, including Sam.

  “Tell me,” Ellie said getting excited. “How awful is Sam as a boss?”

  �
��If we’re going to have this conversation, I think I’m going to need another drink.” Kane said, standing from the table. “Anyone want one?”

  Sam stood as well, kissing Lil on the check as he backed away from his chair. “I’ll go with you.”

  Lil watched the two friends’ head to the bar together and signal for Rusty that they needed another round. Worry took over when she saw Sam’s face harden as he lowered his head to Kane and started speaking. He had been easy going all night long. Was there still some sort of trouble between them he hadn’t told her? Was tonight too much for him? Oh, God, she realized. Had being with all of them tonight suddenly brought on his memories? Was he confiding in Kane, asking for advice on what to do?

  “What do you think those two are talking so seriously about?” Ellie asked. Lil shook her head. She had no clue what it could be about and was suddenly too afraid to ask Sam herself.

  ~~~~

  Sam couldn’t take his eyes off of Lil as he asked Kane if he could speak to him for a minute, without the eyes and ears of everyone else around. She looked worried, her brow furrowing, her posture suddenly changing. He gave her a reassuring smile and winked at her for good measure.

  The bar was packed so it took a little longer for their drinks to arrive. Sam used that time to grill his one-time best friend.

  Not to beat around the bush, Sam said, “Lil told me.”

  Sam could feel Kane stiffen beside him. He didn’t need to be looking at him to know that he was shocked Sam had so casually brought up what had happened between him and Lil.

  “She told you?” Kane asked slowly. “Everything?”

  Sam nodded. He looked at his friend and said, “The baby, the miscarriage, the breakup. Yeah, she told me.”

  “How are you?” Kane asked. “I mean, are you okay?”

  Sam shrugged. What could he say? It had happened in the past. A past he couldn’t remember. “I guess, although, I’m sure it’s going to suck when I do get my memories back. Knowing how I hurt her. Hearing her side of the story.

  ”What I want to know though,” Sam said, turning his back on Lil who kept glancing at him in between talking with Ellie. “Why in the hell didn’t you kick my ass?”

  Kane looked down the bar, no doubt hoping Rusty would hurry. When he faced Sam again he said, “It wasn’t for lack of trying, believe me. We tried to talk to you, hell we tried to talk to her but you are two of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. And I live with Abe!”

  Kane sighed and leaned his forearms on the bar top, mimicking Sam. “You stayed with us after you moved out to give her space. We tried to convince you to go over there and talk to her but you said you tried. She wouldn’t listen to you. So I told you to make her listen. But–”

  “I didn’t.” Sam stated.

  Kane shook his head. “No, you didn’t.” Sam heard his deep exhale of breath before he added, “You only stayed a few nights. Then you didn’t come back. Abe and I thought you were working things out. That was until we showed up for work one morning and saw you passed out at your desk. Instead of going home or coming over to my house, you resorted to sleeping at the office.

  “You stayed up all night long working on games. I guess you could say your hard work paid off because within the week, Mr. Miles had put you up in one of the condos in his building. Then you got the promotion and you were out of the basement and in the offices. That’s where things between the three of went downhill. But, I’ve already told you all of that. No need to dig up old dirt.”

  “I seriously fucked up with her, and you, didn’t I?”

  Kane didn’t say anything at first. Finally he answered with, “You did, but I can tell you’re trying to make things right again. That’s what counts, Sam. It sucks you had to lose your memory to do it, but...” He shrugged his shoulders as if to say, what can you do.

  “Yeah, that’s my catch twenty-two,” Sam said. “I don’t want to remember because I feel like things are right where they should be. Or at least, with some time they would be. But then, I want to remember so I know what was going on in my head. I’m just afraid that when I do remember, I’m going to hurt her all over again.”

  He looked at Kane, his eyes pleading with his best friend. “I can’t hurt her, Kane. I love her.”

  153

  SECOND RATE CHANCES

  CHAPTER 22

  When Sam and Lil arrived back at her house, he walked her to the door, ending the night on more of a real date note. There was a kiss goodbye, a promise to call, and Lil inviting him in. He hated to turn her down but he wanted one thing to be right. If he and Lil decided to take that next step, he wanted it to be perfect. Not after a night at a bar smelling like smoke and alcohol.

  He had remembered to invite her to his dad’s annual party and was relieved when she agreed to go.

  Here he was now, walking into her house, not bothering to knock, like it was his own. He didn’t call out to her. He wanted to take her by surprise as she readied herself for his family’s Christmas party. Maybe catch her primping in the mirror, putting her shoes on. If he were lucky maybe she’d be half-naked. It was only fair.

  He walked to the bedroom, the first time he had taken that path since she had allowed him back in her life. He stood in the doorway, using the door jamb as a stabilizer. Lil turned around in circles to watch the white silk of her dress spin out around her. It should not have surprised him how beautiful she was yet every time he saw her he was blown away by her sheer beauty. He had known this girl for the better part of his life. Even waking up first thing in the morning she was breathtaking.

  Jumping back in with her hand over her heart, she yelped. "You scared me!"

  He said nothing in return, only continued to stare at her from his perch against the doorframe. His hands were stuffed in his front pockets, his feet crossed at his ankles. His eyes traveled up her body. He held back a smile as she shivered from the way he drank her in.

  Sam took measured steps across the room. When he reached her, his hands went to her waist and he pulled her close to him. Slowly, as if time around them had stopped, he dipped his head and brushed his lips against hers. She moaned at the contact and from the effort he put into making her feel like she was the sexiest woman alive.

  When he drew back he whispered, "You look amazing."

  Sam stood back, keeping Lil at arm’s length by holding on to her hands as he took in the stunning dress she wore. The top half of the dress had thin straps that lay perfectly against her shoulder. The neckline dipped to form a heart-shaped cut that was adorned with thousands of tiny beads and crystals so that each time the light hit her, she sparkled. A thick strap of white silk flowed in two tiers down her thighs and stopped just short of her knees. When she spun around, she looked like a dancer in flight.

  She paired the stunning dress with a pair of silver glittered heels that made her more equal to Sam's six foot frame. At almost his level, she hardly had to look up to meet his eyes. And for once, they were going to leave the house as just that, equals. Neither of them knew what to expect from the partygoers or what to expect at the end of the night. But if he played his cards right, maybe they'd end up right where they were now. He was ready to cross that line with her and tonight seemed like it could be the right time.

  Before they stepped outside, Lil picked up a white, faux fur wrap from the kitchen table. Sam took it from her, his mouth drawn in a tight line as he draped it over her shoulders. He wanted to run his tongue over her shoulders, up to her neck, and tease the sensitive spot just below her ear. He wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked down the slippery sidewalk to his car.

  He held the door open for her and softly shut it when she was safely inside. Sam eased himself in and started the car. The engine gave a tiny purr. If he had to name one thing he liked about his new life, it was his car. Given the right motivation, he had no doubt this piece of precision could go.

  “This is a pretty amazing car,” she said once they were down the street. “So unlike you; so
posh.” He could see her, through the corner of his eye, feeling the leather of the seats.

  Sam wondered if Lil felt self-conscious about being in a car that Chloe had more than likely had a say in. Did she feel awkward sitting in the passenger seat that Chloe had probably sat in often?

  Not allowing the thoughts of the girl he didn’t know taint their evening, he lightened the mood and said, "I know, right?" He smiled. "I must have really good taste."

  While his right hand held the job of shifting gears, it didn’t deter him from holding Lil's left hand.

  They drove the same route as the day they went to Grayson’s. When they sped past the tree farm, Sam felt Lil give the tiniest squeeze of his hand. He gave her a reassuring squeeze back, letting her know he no longer cared about Toby Grayson. It happened. It was over and done and Sam had no right to be angry.

  His dad’s house was on the outside of the city limits of the Village where the residential neighborhoods began. It took nearly twenty minutes to get there from Lil's. The drive was nice in a way that most of the area they passed were residential homes lined on Main Street with the sidewalks on each side of the road and the large colonial homes all dressed up in their Christmas lights.

  When they pulled up to the house, it was as beautifully decorated as the other houses they had passed. The one story, modest home had icicle lights that extended all the way up to the pitch of the roof. The columns on the porch all had wrap around strands of lights twinkling about and elaborate wreaths hung in every window. His dad kept it simple. No blow up snowmen or Santa’s on motorcycles in his yard.

  Hand in hand, Lil and Sam walked up the stone path to the front door. “You ready?” Sam asked one hand in hers while the other hesitated on the doorknob. Lil nodded and the front door opened to a house full of merry folks dressed in their best.

  “Merry Christmas,” a voice boomed from the dining room. Paul Travers stuck his head into the hall to see who had arrived. When he saw that it was Sam and Lil his face lit up just as bright as the lights on his house.