He politely excused himself from whomever he had been speaking with and stepped into the hall to pull Sam into a handshake hug. Reluctantly, Sam had to let go of Lil’s hand so that his father could properly hug her.
“Thank you for coming, Lil,” Paul said. “This has never felt the same without you here.”
Sam watched as Lil nodded her head and blinked several times, trying to keep the tears at bay. Leave it to his dad to have Lil crying when they hadn’t been there all of two minutes
“You two get in there. Watch the eggnog. Peter has started early this year.” It was only tradition for Sam’s Uncle Peter to spike the eggnog with whatever his poison of choice was that he kept in his flask. “Don't forget to say hello to your Aunt Edna, Sam.” Sam groaned just like a little boy. Paul gave him a stern look before returning to his guests in the dining room.
“Aunt Edna,” Lil said covering her mouth with her hand so no one could see. “I forgot about her.”
“Lucky you,” Sam muttered.
“Look who it is,” a voice rang out behind them. “If it's not my favorite brother and the most beautiful girl in the world.”
“I'm your only brother,” Sam retorted.
“Doesn’t mean you have to be my favorite. Although,” Joshua said, appraising Lil with his eyes. “You are quickly becoming my favorite by bringing this lovely lady tonight.”
“Been hitting Uncle Peter's stash?” Lil teased. Joshua picked her up and spun her around, her dress splaying around her body. Sam bit his bottom lip to keep from groaning out loud as the dress rose up and revealed a quick peek at her butt cheek.
“Hey now,” Sam said in what was supposed to be a joking tone but really, he wanted his brother to put Lil down. No telling who else was watching Josh’s display and Sam wanted to keep what Lil had going on under her dress for his eyes only. “Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone,” he added with emphasis.
“Ah, don't be like that Sam. It’s Christmas. Let’s not get into tonight. Let’s save it for when you remember and then we can go back to being dickheads to one another.”
“In the kitchen.” Sam glared at his brother. “Now.”
He leaned over and brushed his lips against Lil’s cheek. “Give us just a minute.” Lil nodded and made her way to the living room where, without seeing her, Sam could hear his Cousin Anna squealing Lil’s name.
Sam led his brother into the kitchen, where Joshua fixed himself a drink. “You want one?” he asked.
“No.” Sam shook his head then asked, “want to tell me why you ran out of my hospital room like I had the plague?”
“No,” Joshua said, after taking a drink from his glass. “Not really.”
“Too bad. I do.”
“Fine!” Josh threw his hands in the air. “You want to do this now? We’ll do this now. You’ve got no time for Dad or me anymore. It’s Chloe this and her dad that. Or work, work, work. Fuck man! I miss my brother. You haven’t stayed at one of these parties since that last year you and Lil were together. All you do now is stop by with some god awful expensive champagne that Chloe probably duped you into buying thinking it would be a,” Josh twirled his fingers like it was a big to do, “wonderful gift, when really, all we do is throw it away the next morning.”
Joshua drained the rest of his drink while Sam stood there dumb founded.
“You are, were,” Josh corrected, “my best friend.” He looked at his brother, his eyes glassy.
“Josh,” Sam said, his voice betraying him. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not enough, but I’m sorry.”
Josh lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “You’re here. That’s enough. Just…don’t leave us again. Whatever happens, don’t treat me and Dad like we embarrass you.”
Unable to stop himself, Sam drew his brother in a fierce hug, holding him tight. The hole Sam had dug himself in just kept getting deeper and deeper. When he remembered the past three years, he was going to make sure he had a shovel nearby.
“Sam,” Joshua croaked out. “I can’t breathe.”
Sam pulled away hastily, mumbling his apologies. Josh nodded his head to the living room. “Go save your girl. I think Uncle Peter is hitting the hard stuff tonight.”
~~~~
A firm hand clamped down on Lil’s shoulder causing her to jump and nearly spill her drink all over her white dress. "Lookie, lookie,” a slurred voice called. “If it isn't Lily Willie.”
Lil groaned. She had always hated the nickname Uncle Peter had given her. “Uncle Peter” she turned, plastering a fake smile on her face. “It's so good to see you.”
“You still taking those pictures?” he asked.
“I am. You need some done?”
“As a matter of fact I do.” He leaned in so that no one could hear him. “I was actually hoping to make a portfolio to send to Playgirl. You know they're hiring models, right?”
Lil choked on her drink as it went down her throat. The unfortunate image of Uncle Peter, hairy old Uncle Peter, striking poses to send to Playgirl was now sadly, in her brain.
“Leave the poor girl alone, Peter.” Paul said. Lil's very own personal savior. “She doesn't want to hear about your plans to be People's next sexiest man alive.”
“You sure know how to ruin a good time, you know that?” Uncle Peter said with a pout. “Keep in mind what I said. If you decide to do it, when I make it big I'll make sure you're rewarded.”
Uncle Peter stepped away. His hand was buried in the breast pocket of his tweed jacket where he had his flask of whiskey stowed away. Paul was laughing softly next to Lil.
“Sorry about that but…” He shrugged. “You know how he is.”
“That I do,” she commented. “So, how are you?”
“I'm doing really well. You? Sam seems to be in better spirits.”
“Seems that way,” Lil agreed.
“You’re good for him Lil. Always have been. That boy has never loved anyone quite like the way he loves you.”
“Loved,” Lil corrected. Chloe had the promise of a lifetime from Sam, not her.
Paul shook his head no. “I beg to differ. I don't care if he's lost his memories. You never lose the love you once felt for someone and that boy?” He pointed over his shoulder to Sam who was no longer talking with Joshua, but another member of his family. “He'll never stop loving you even if he gets his memories back tonight.”
“I'm scared,” Lil said to Paul but just barely loud enough for him to hear.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close for a fatherly hug. “I know you are. I am too. I've only ever wanted happiness for my kids. Only the best that this life can give them. Sam lost a little of that when he lost you.”
“What do I do?” she asked. She knew that if anyone could give her an honest answer, it was Paul.
“Follow your heart. If you love him, tell him. If you want him, do your damnedest to keep him.”
“And if he won't have me?” She looked into the eyes that resembled Sam's.
“Then he's a damn fool and doesn't deserve you. But Lil that’s not going to happen. He lost you once. He won't take that risk and lose you again.”
As the night wore on, Lil mingled with Sam's family and friends that were like her own family. Thankfully, no one mentioned the last time they had seen her. Instead everyone was just so happy to see her and Sam reunited.
She was talking to Sam’s cousin Anna when she felt a set of arms wrap around her midsection and warm breaths tickle her neck.
“Let's go home,” Sam whispered into her ear, which sent goosebumps against her flesh.
Nodding her agreement, too afraid to speak in fear that her voice would crack, Lil allowed Sam to take her hand as they moved through the throng of people. There was no doubt in Lil's mind that the dynamic of the evening had shifted. The wall Lil tried to barricade her heart in didn’t stand a chance where Sam was concerned. Tonight it was going to crumble at her feet.
161
SECOND RATE CHANCES
CHAPTE
R 23
The charge in the air lasted throughout the drive back to Lil's house and well past the front doors once they were inside. Both of them were aware that things were about to change. Whether for the good or bad, she wasn’t sure. They were about to cross a line and that was a good thing. It was the aftermath that might end up bad.
With jackets and shoes deposited at the front door, Lil casually walked into the kitchen.
“You want something to drink?” Her voice was not her own. Instead it was replaced by a husky, hungry version of herself.
When Sam didn't answer, Lil turned her back to the refrigerator to find him towering over her. He grabbed her by the waist and kissed her hard and deep. Her hands flew to his hair, feeling the thick texture between her fingers.
Sam was the first to pull away and when he did, both of them were out of breath. “When my brother hugged you right after we arrived, he spun you around and I saw a flash of your bare ass.” He had moved his lips from her mouth where they started to kiss a trail down the bare curve of her neck. “I’ve been thinking about that little glimpse I saw all night,” he murmured against her skin.
“I didn't know,” she replied hoarsely.
Lost in the feel of Sam's hands traveling under her dress until he gripped her thighs, Lil pushed herself up on her tiptoes, giving him that boost he needed to lift her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her to the counter.
“I don't want this to just be about putting your curiosity to rest.” Lil had closed her eyes as his mouth continued to travel further south down her breastbone. Her head fell back until it met the cabinet’s overhead. “I want this to be because you want it.”
“Oh, I want it,” he replied. “I've wanted it since the moment you walked into the hospital room. It's been driving me crazy every day since. Do you know how hard it is to be so close to you yet so far away? I want to be with you the only way I know how. I want to be over you, under you, and inside of you.”
Lil pulled his head from her chest. She remembered what Paul had said to her earlier. If you love him, tell him. Besides the sexual craving running though her bones, that was the only other emotion she was feeling. It wasn't lust. It was pure uninhibited love. A love that had never been truly lost.
“I love you,” she whispered, looking deep into his eyes. “I always have and I always will.”
With those three words, the fire in Sam’s eyes ignited the spark between them. His lips crashed against hers and he lifted her off of the counter and toward the bedroom that they had made love in so many times before.
Inside the bedroom, Sam whispered against her wet, swollen lips, “I love you too.” As he laid her across the bed he said, “so much, Delilah.”
Straddling her body, he sat up on his knees and began to unbutton the shirt he was wearing. She watched him, branding the image to her memory in case this, heaven forbid, was the last time she was ever like this with him. The muscles in his biceps flexed as he pulled the shirt free from his shoulders, the white tank underneath showing off his hard body. With nothing in the way of his hard, muscled chest, he leaned down, supported by his arms, and kissed her. Pulling away, he stood from the bed, slowly unzipping his pants until they pooled at his feet. Lil sat up, mesmerized at the way he undressed for her.
Their eyes never wavered. Even when he reached for the waistband of his boxer shorts, her eyes remained trained on the love looking back at her. When he was completely naked, he held out a hand, offering her to join him.
She took his hand. When she was standing face to face to him, he turned her around so that her back was pressed against his naked chest. She could hear each metal tooth of the zipper being extracted as he released it at an agonizingly slow pace. When finished, his hands palmed the smoothness of her bare shoulders, pushing the thin straps down her arms. The dress fell on its own, pooling at their feet, leaving Lil in nothing but a white satin thong. Her breath came out in shallow pants when she felt Sam's fingers dip into her hips to gather the thin elastic at her waist. He kissed the back of her shoulder blades as he lowered the material down her hips.
Lil felt like her body was on fire. Once the satin hit her ankles, she turned around to face Sam, stepping out of the material at her feet in the process. Her hands found his shoulders and she stepped up on the tips of her toes to kiss him. Gently at first, then as he led her to the bed, the kiss became more heated, spreading an inferno throughout the bedroom.
Sam covered just about every inch of her body with his lips. The burden of his weight was finally on top of her, although it was no burden at all. Their eyes locked while he pushed her legs apart and in one thrust, he consumed her completely. Heart, body, mind and soul. Together they were finally one.
~~~~
“Tell me something,” Lil asked. Sam held Lil against him with just a sheet covering them. He had his arms raised above his head, his forearm serving as a pillow for her head.
“What?” he asked in a soft sated voice.
“Are you scared? I mean, of remembering everything? Because, quite frankly, I'm terrified.” There was no mistaking the tremor in her voice as she said the words aloud to him.
Sam lifted her chin with his long index finger, tilting her head so that she was looking into his eyes. Slowly, he lowered his head and automatically Lil closed her eyes. Instead of his mouth touching hers, he kissed each one of her eyelids, the tip of her nose, and then his lips pressed against hers. Against those lips he replied, “Why should I be? I'll still remember all of this. The love I have for you will never go away. You're in my heart, Lil, and I don't understand how it could have ever left.”
“But, what happens when you remember the moment you fell out of love with me?” This wasn't exactly the kind of pillow talk she had envisioned but with his wedding day looming, there were certain things that needed to be out in the open.
“I love you,” he stated without conviction. “Right here, right now I love you and no one else.” The cuckoo clock in the living room began to chime and it didn't stop until twelve rings rang out into the silence of the house. Sam looked at Lil with a smile to match a lottery winner. “Merry Christmas.”
He moved off the bed and Lil had a brief panicky thought that she had just become Cinderella and reality of the real world around then was going to come crashing down.
She pulled the sheet over her body, feeling very vulnerable. Sam returned a short moment later, holding a blue box in his hands.
“I wanted to give this to you on Christmas.” He laughed, clutching the box in his hands. “Technically it is Christmas and I don’t want to wait.”
He crawled back in bed, holding her close again and handed her the box. She took it with shaky hands.
“I found this at my condo when I was doing laundry last week. I don’t know how I know, Lil, but I know this was meant for you.”
She opened the box and inside was the most beautiful silver infinity bracelet she had ever seen. It was delicate, almost so delicate she was afraid to lift it up and inspect it further. Sam, not one for patience, lifted it for her and pulled her hand so that her wrist was bared for him. He slipped the band of silver over her left wrist, turning her hand over afterward and kissing the vein that ran straight to her heart.
She looked up at him, tears rolling down her face. “I love it,” she said. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed every inch of his face, expressing her love with every peck.
Sam laughed at her exuberance. “I’m glad,” he said.
“Oh!” Lil shot off the bed, not caring she was naked now. She ran into her closet and pulled out the brown bag she had gotten at Nick’s Knack’s. “I know it’s not wrapped or anything, and it’s not nearly as nice as this,” she held her wrist to her heart. “But, when I saw it I thought of you.”
Lil held the bag out for Sam who took it with one hand and pulled her back into bed with the other. Once she was back at his side, where she hoped she’d always be, he opened the bag. She couldn’t see his fa
ce and judging by the way he said nothing, Lil suddenly feared the gift was stupid.
“Sam,” she began, sitting up so that she could see him.
“Lil,” he stopped her. He held up the tiny rabbit’s foot, rubbing the fur between his fingers.
“I thought that maybe it would be something to help you to always remember.” She shrugged, nervous now that his face said nothing of his reaction.
He looked at her then, pulling her closer to him, which had her practically in his lap. He kissed her once, softly, then a second time with more dominance. When he pulled his lips from hers, he said, their foreheads pressed together, “I’ll never forget. I swear to God, Lil, I’ll never forget.”
Lil whispered into the night, "Merry Christmas." Sam laid them down against the mattress. Her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep pretending that maybe the day that she dreaded would never come. Maybe they could live inside their fairytale bubble for the rest of their lives and that Sam would never truly forget.
167
SECOND RATE CHANCES
CHAPTER 24
Like a freight train speeding down the tracks, the last three years came at him all at once.
Sam gasped for air as the memories came flooding back. The life, the great life he had shared with Lil, how they were so happy one minute and the next he was sleeping his nights away at the office until he was put up in the condos owned by Jonah Miles – his soon-to-be father in law.
The love he had for Lil. The loss he felt when she slipped through his grasp. The heartache he still felt knowing he had messed up with her. Had messed up with her, he told himself. She was here, at this very moment in his arms.
How had it come to this? Him losing all this time with her, only to end up where he only ever imagined himself being. In his house. In his bed. With his girl.
It truly was a Christmas miracle, only he feared Lil wouldn’t see it that way. What would she say when he told her he remembered? Would she send him packing? He had obligations; he knew this. He had promised forever to another woman. A woman who was miles away at the moment dealing with their impending wedding rather than the health and the well being of the man she claimed to love. While on the other hand, Lil had been the one to see him through his progress. She had put her life on hold, a life she no longer shared with him, to see to his recovery.
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