“Let me ask you this,” Dr. Kingston said when Lil didn’t reply. “Did he give you any reason to think he didn’t want to be with you?”
“No,” Lil said softly. “He told me he loved me. He made this Christmas the best one I’ve had in three years.”
“So maybe he was looking out for you.”
Lil shrugged. He could have been, she guessed. It wasn’t like he said anything other than that he remembered. She had flown off the handle before giving him the chance to say anything else.
“Lil, given that you’ve been a patient of mine for three years, I’d like to think that I know you.” She rested her forearms on top of her desk and clasped her hands together. “I’m assuming you didn’t get any answers from Sam regarding your past because you didn’t give him the chance to talk.”
Damn the woman for being so perceptive. She was right, and Lil could admit that. She knew she had jumped the gun. She should have been more reasonable with Sam. She should have allowed him to tell her everything because who knew if she’d ever have the chance again? But it was hard for Lil to step past the shards of glass at her feet that resembled her broken heart.
“Lil, any man worth his salt, especially a man who chose to spend Christmas with his ex, is going to want the chance to speak his peace. I suggest when that time comes, you listen to him.”
Yeah but when would that happen, Lil wondered. Before or after the wedding?
~~~~
Sam had nearly forgotten his appointment with Dr. Langdon. With everything going on it almost slipped his mind. He was glad he had set a reminder in his phone to alert him of the time.
He sat in the chair, across from the doctor’s desk, ready to dive into today’s session. Hopefully if things went as Sam had planned, the only therapy he’d need was the kind Lil could provide.
“Sam,” Dr. Langdon said, smiling as he set his pen down. “How are things?”
“I remember,” Sam blurted out. Dr. Langdon showed no signs of surprise, or even that he knew this was coming.
“And how are you coping?” he asked.
Sam had to laugh. How was he coping? He left the woman he loved, sent the woman he wasn’t sure he liked, much less loved, out the door with the excuse he needed time. He had moved out of his condo and in with his dad.
“As well as expected, I suppose.”
“You suppose?”
Sam shrugged. “What do you want me to say? I was able to spend time with Lil, something I’ve thought about from the moment I walked out of our house three years ago. How stupid I was that I never went back when I knew I should have? She needed me and I left her and never came back. Hell,” Sam said, raking his fingers through his hair. “I needed her.”
Swallowing hard, Sam continued. “I was able to mend a broken friendship with two of my best friends. My brother? He apparently hated me because I had turned into this uppity hot shot who didn’t give a damn about his family – only his fiancée’s.” Sam shot Dr. Langdon a perturbed look. “But I still I have my health, so I suppose I’m fine.”
“Do you not like the man you’ve become?”
Sam’s gaze was fixed on Dr. Langdon. He felt his breathing become labored like the lava in a volcano about to erupt.
“I hate him,” he seethed. “He doesn’t care about anything.” Sam let out a humorless laugh. “Literally, not a thing. The furnishings in his house, what clothes he wears, what kind of car he drives. He doesn’t even care that he doesn’t spend more than five minutes with his own family at Christmas. The Sam I turned in to? He doesn’t have any real friends. He hates his job but is too afraid to quit.”
Dr. Langdon gave the briefest of nods. “Do you think you can incorporate the two? The person you used to be and the one you became?”
Sam shook his head. “I don’t see how.” Especially when the old Sam had Lil and the new one had Chloe.
How would Lil like this Sam? The one who spent all his time at work, who would drag her to after hour’s business parties. Make her play the part of the doting girlfriend. That wasn’t Lil. Sure, she’d support him; she’d do anything to help him. That much was evident. But Chloe was the one who was good at working a room, schmoozing her daddy’s clients and colleagues.
“What does Chloe say about all of this, Sam?”
“Not much. I told her I needed some time to think about my future.”
“And how much time do you intend to take?” Dr. Langdon questioned.
Until Saturday, Sam thought to himself. Then he’d have to break someone’s heart. But this time, he was going to do what was right. Not what was expected of him.
189
SECOND RATE CHANCES
CHAPTER 28
Lil decided to close up shop the week following Christmas and leading up to New Years. That of course didn’t mean she sat at home and wallowed because she was missing Sam.
How could she have missed him as much as she did in the short amount of time he had reentered her life? They were together since college, all of those years seeing each other every single day, yet the two weeks he was in her life, when he shut the door behind him and left, those had been the hardest to get through.
Maybe it was because Lil had believed she had gotten her second chance with Sam. Maybe this time, with everything out in the open, they could move forward, past everything that had ruined them. But Lil hadn’t allowed Sam to tell his side of the story. She didn’t know what made him leave and never come back.
She thought about calling him. For almost three days now, she picked up her phone to dial his number, but ended up only staring at the old picture she had taken so long ago. That was her Sam, she had to tell herself. The man who remembered, who had been missing for three years, he wasn’t hers. And she was a fool to think he ever could be.
The sign on the door was turned to closed as Lil busied herself with getting ready for the new year. Christmas props were stored away and Valentines were taken out of storage. Just the thought of sappy cards and heart-shaped candies had Lil wanting to close up until Easter. But that’s what the old Lil would have done. This Lil was determined to make the best out of her situation. She wouldn’t cry and mope or drink herself stupid. No, this Lil was more mature. She would take one day at a time and move forward with her life. Not backwards.
The bell above the door dinged and Lil silently cursed. Apparently the closed sign on the door meant nothing. She hated to turn around and send a paying customer on their way, but she had things to do and people to forget.
When she turned around, she recognized the woman instantly even though neither of them had officially met.
“Lil?” she questioned. “Lil Harper?”
Lil nodded her throat suddenly dry.
The woman smiled. “Hi.” She waved. “I know we haven’t had the chance to meet yet, but I’m Chloe. Chloe Miles.”
Yeah, Lil knew who she was. She knew this woman had the one thing Lil wanted. Sam.
“Hello,” Lil managed to say. “Is there something I can help you with?”
“Oh, no,” Chloe said. “I just wanted to stop by and thank you.”
“Thank me?”
Chloe nodded. “For helping Sam. I don’t know what you did or how you did it.”
Lil could hazard a guess. She slept with him. Twice. And she’d be lying to herself if she said she hadn’t enjoyed every single second of it. But there was no need to tell Chloe any of that. Lil wasn’t a vindictive person. It was inevitable for one of them to get hurt. No sense in it being both of them.
“Sam,” Chloe said, “is back to normal.” Her smile, as she said the words, stretched across her face.
Normal. One word told Lil all she needed to know. Sam had returned to the suit-wearing city-life, engaged man that he was. To Chloe this was normal. For Lil this was her worst nightmare.
“Anyway,” Chloe continued, oblivious to the fact Lil had hardly said two words since she waltzed into her closed shop. “I just wanted to stop by and say thanks. You’ve sent him b
ack to me.” You bet she did and she had hated herself every moment since, Lil thought. “I can’t believe it! I mean, everything can go on as planned.”
Lil didn’t even try to keep her face a blank mask. She had to wonder if Chloe was catching the I-don’t-give-a-shit look she knew she was throwing off.
“That’s part of why I’m here.” Chloe reached into her purse and took out an envelope. She held it out for Lil to take, but Lil made no move for it. When Chloe realized Lil wasn’t accepting whatever it was she was trying to give her, she lowered her hand and the smile on her face finally faltered.
“I wanted to invite you to the wedding. I had to have the printers print an extra copy because it was so last minute. My parents, they’ve invited practically the entire state, not to mention most of the surrounding states,” she said with a chuckle.
“I know it’ll probably be weird for you, you know, since Sam is your ex and everything, but if it wasn’t for you then I wouldn’t be having my dream wedding. So,” she started to stick her hand out again but pulled it back midway. Seeming very uncomfortable, for which Lil was glad, Chloe sat the envelope on the Ellie’s desk.
“I understand if you can’t make it. I just wanted to include you as our guest. It’ll be fun.” Her words came out sounding like she was trying to convince Lil. Like attending the wedding of her ex-boyfriend, lover – whatever he was – would be the place to be.
“It’s going to be at Saint Mark’s and the reception is on the roof of the Miles Tower. It has a great view of downtown and the river. Sam and I plan to leave right after the fireworks.”
What was Lil supposed to say? Sure! I’ll come. Make sure you save me a spot right next to you when we do the electric slide. No. There was nothing she could say so she didn’t.
Taking the hint that Lil wasn’t going to gush about how romantic it seemed that there would be fireworks to send them off, or how convenient it was that her daddy owned such a pristine building with an amazing rooftop view, Chloe started to back away to the door.
“Thanks again, Lil. Hopefully I’ll see you Saturday.” And with those parting words, Chloe Miles walked out of the closed shop and back to the man Lil hated a little more than she did fifteen minutes ago.
She would see Chloe when she decided to talk to Sam.
Which was going to be never.
~~~~
Sam sat alone at Rusty’s, opting for a glass of water at noon on Wednesday, rather than the beer he needed to get through the meeting he had called.
It could go one of two ways. Either Ellie was going to help him or she was going to yell at him. He was glad Kane offered to come because Sam already knew he had his best friend on board with his plan. Abe had to work but was also in the know. It was for the best he wasn’t here anyway. With the way his and Ellie’s relationship hadn’t seem to change, Sam didn’t need his other best friend throwing insults at the one woman he needed on his team for his plan to be successful.
He was surprised Ellie hadn’t called him in the days that had passed since he left Lil’s. It shocked him that she hadn’t hunted him down and made good on her promise that she’d hurt him if he hurt Lil.
The door opened, the bell sounding off loud in the empty room. Sam turned his head and was grateful it was Kane. He walked over, patting him on the back as he sat in the vacant stool to Sam’s right.
“You holding up okay?” he asked.
“We’re about to see,” Sam replied.
Just then, the door opened again and Sam’s stomach knotted up. He looked at her walking toward them, determination in every step. Her face was drawn tight, a sure sign that Ellie wasn’t happy.
She stood at the bar, keeping the empty stool on his other side as a barrier between them. Ellie put her purse on the wooden top, and then placed her hand on her hip, cocking it to the side.
With a cool tone and an inverted brow to go with her penetrating stare, Ellie said, “You know I’m going to kick your ass, right?”
“Let me explain,” Sam reasoned.
“Oh,” Ellie said in a dramatic fashion and rolling her eyes. “You damn well better. And I expect it to be good. No bullshit, Sam. Not this time.”
By the time he explained his side of the story with what happened with Lil, which had coincided with what Ellie had been told, he started the pitch that could help him get the love of his life back in his arms. When he was done, he waited for what seemed like days for Ellie to speak.
To help ease some sort of response out of her, he added, “If you help me, I promise you I’ll make this up to you. Whatever it is, consider it yours.”
“Sam, you don’t owe me anything. Lil on the other hand, you owe her so much more than some second rate, second chance.”
Hoping Ellie could see the honesty reflecting in his eyes he said, “I’m not asking for a second chance with her, Ellie. I’m asking for forever.”
197
SECOND RATE CHANCES
CHAPTER 29
Sam had finished buttoning his shirt when his dad entered the living room. To keep up pretenses, Sam had gone ahead with his wedding party for the day’s festivities, by getting ready at his condo. After today, he’d no longer call the sparse, bland place home. As for where home would be? He hoped where his heart was. With Lil.
“You ready?” his dad asked, dressed like James Bond ready to have cocktails with the ladies while kicking ass at the same time.
Sam nodded.
“You sure about this, son? You sure this is what you want?”
Sam had to laugh. After everything he had been through the last several weeks, his dad was questioning his judgment. Now, of all times.
“Why? You think I’m making a mistake?” he asked.
Paul shook his head and took the steps that brought him closer to his son. He gripped Sam by the shoulders. “No,” he said his voice soft. “I think you’re finally doing the right thing. For you.”
“Me too,” Sam agreed.
“Car’s here!” Joshua said, entering the room dressed in his matching tux just like Sam and their father.
“You two go ahead and ride to the church in it. I’m going to take my car,” Sam told them. “I’m sure when all of this is over with you’ll need to stick around and field off questions on my behalf.”
Paul pulled his son into a tight embrace. When they pulled apart, Sam saw unshed tears in his father’s eyes. “I love you, Samson. Don’t let them give you hell. You understand me?” Sam nodded. “We’ll be here for you.” He added with a pointed stare, “No matter what happens today.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Sam asked his father who nodded.
“We’ll meet you at the airport if everything goes as planned. If not, well,” Paul chuckled, “I guess I’ll see you at the house later tonight.”
Sam’s gut tightened. He couldn’t think of the worst happening today. He had to remain optimistic that his plan would work. He had made a decision and he prayed to God that Lil would be along for the ride. If she wasn’t then Sam had his work cut out for him because come hell or high water he was going to make an honest woman out of her.
He should have felt regret once he remembered the last three years. Especially the part where he had made love to Lil. Technically he had cheated on Chloe. But a part of his brain told him that she had cheated him out of so much more. So much more than he ever realized. She didn’t just cheat him out of his friends, or doing the things he loved. She had sunk to a whole new level with her ploy to get him to notice her. One that had a huge role in how he lost Lil. Granted, he wasn’t going to put the blame solely on Chloe. She played a part but she wasn’t the main game changer. That lay with Sam.
He considered leaving the car running as he pulled into the church. Guests were already beginning to mill about in the front, kissing each other on the cheeks and offering fake hellos. All in the name of being seen at the biggest wedding Fair Haven had seen in a longtime.
He opened the door to the bridal suite slowly, not wanting to draw t
oo much attention to himself. He and Chloe had visited the chapel several times during the planning stages so he knew just where to find her. She was standing in front of the floor length mirror, fixing the crown on top of her head. He shouldn’t have expected anything less. A tiara for the princess she thought she was. Daddy’s princess, perhaps, but not Sam’s.
The sight of her should have left him weak-kneed. The dress, strapless and diamond studded on the bodice pulled in at her waist making it seem smaller, as the skirt ballooned out down to the floor. The fact was, seeing Chloe in her wedding dress did nothing but remind him that he didn’t love this woman and the wedding she had planned. The wedding she thought was so important she couldn’t be there for her fiancé when she should have been. It was ironic, him and Chloe. She left him at the first sign of trouble the same way he had left Lil. But Sam was a changed man. He had paid for the sins he had committed.
He wasn’t about to let another chance at redemption slip through his fingers.
“Sam!” Chloe suddenly shrieked. She turned to face him, picking up the dress so she could move forward. “You can’t be in here! It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.” Her tone might have indicated that she was put out with him for showing up before the ceremony; the smile on her face told him she considered him showing up at all a victory. Little did she know that when he said everything he had to say, the smile would be wiped clean from her face as he drove off with one of his own.
“We need to talk,” he said, stepping further into the room as he shut the door behind him.
“Talk? Can’t it wait until after the ceremony? We have a church full of people waiting on us.”
“No, it can’t wait.”
Chloe put her hands on her hips. “Sam, what’s this about? What is so important you couldn’t wait half an hour to ask?”
Sam drew in a deep breath as he said, “Do you remember taking a phone call for me before we started dating while I was still working in the basement?”
Second Rate Chances Page 19