“But we don’t have any purple or pink candles,” Nellie complained.
“Don’t you remember, silly? Mama tied purple and pink ribbons around the white candles.”
“Pink? Why one pink?” Virginia passed a basket of fresh bread to Seth, right under Ben’s nose.
“Purple reminds us to pray and remember Jesus’ sacrifice for us. The brighter color marks the half-way mark to Christmas day and is a day of celebration.” Ben scooped a piece of bread from the basket as it passed.
“Yes, pink is a happy color,” Trudy said most seriously.
“I do remember the red berries,” Nellie piped in.
“I thought the only colors were the candle ribbons and the evergreens around the circle.” Virginia looked around the table.
“Red holly to remind us of Jesus’ suffering. The blood He shed for us.” For the first time she met Levi’s gaze across the table. Did she understand? Did she recognize the hidden meanings? That we all suffer but we all can rise with Him?
It seemed so. The look in her features hardened. “Sounds to me like the only thing your wreath does is remind us to be sad.”
“Oh, no!” Trudy shook her head earnestly. “When we light the candles they’re so beautiful and the smell of the juniper branches…you did cut juniper branches, didn’t you, Levi?”
He nodded, content to let his family deliver his message to the woman he was beginning to love.
“Juniper is prickly but it reminds us how God protects us. But I love the cedar smell. What do those branches mean?”
“Healing,” Ben said, bringing a somber tone to the room.
“That’s right. And one more branch. I can’t remember that one either.”
“Spruce…for hope in adversity.” Seth’s tone was low.
Ben made a noise. “You don’t even know what adversity means.”
The younger boy turned an angry glare in his brother’s direction. “Do too. It means hard times. Like we had last year.”
Their mother was ill at Christmas last year and she died shortly after. Wreaths were the last things on their minds. Dark memories reared their heads and silence rolled over the table.
“Is that why we didn’t have a wreath last year, Levi?” Nellie asked in all her innocence. “Because we were having hard times?
Levi took a deep breath. “Yes, Nell, we were having hard times. And even though we didn’t have the cedar boughs to remind us, Jesus still brought us through, didn’t He?”
She nodded vigorously. “I can’t wait for Christmas.”
Levi smiled at her precious excitement before he turned to Virginia and fixed his gaze on her. “It’s a new year and a new beginning for all of us.”
****
Virginia opened her eyes. Bright sunlight squeezed beneath the shutters of her room. The light was too bright, like a late morning. Had she overslept?
She jerked upright. The girls were out of their trundle bed and dressed. She paused for a moment longer, listening. The cabin lay in silence. Where was everyone? The smell of bacon drifted through the air.
Throwing back the cover she jumped out of bed and began to dress. She’d stayed up last night late, trying to finish the girls’ mittens. Christmas was only two days away and she wanted everything finished in time to do some baking. But she was so sleepy, her head kept drooping. Finally she gave up and crawled into bed. She’d known she was tired, but did she really sleep through breakfast?
Beyond curious, she ran a brush through her hair, not even taking the time to braid it, and hurried out. The cabin was empty. Sitting on top of the stove, keeping warm, was a plate with bacon, leftover biscuits from yesterday and an egg.
Virginia sagged. How could she have slept through those noisy little girls climbing out of bed and dressing? She must have been more exhausted than she realized. Shaking her head, she glanced at her table. The evergreen wreath caught her eye, plump with the different branches Levi had added—and so fragrant. Even now, after weeks of sitting on her table and lighting the candles each night at dinnertime, the wreath was fresh and beautiful. Its crisp, pungent scent filled the room.
The symbolism of the wreath seemed as true as the story the children told. Evergreens and everlasting souls wrapped around an eternal God. Cedar for healing. Spruce for hope in adversity. Here in this cabin, she’d found healing and hope. But juniper for protection? Somehow that emotion eluded her. The dreams of her father standing over her, holding her arm with one meaty fist and punching her with the other had faded. Those horrible nightmares only came once in a while now.
Certainly most mornings she woke excited about the day, anxious to begin again, but tomorrow…tomorrow was still a black hole. Tomorrow this house, these children…Levi could be snatched away and once again, she’d be alone. Abandoned. She still did not see God as the protector Levi described.
She fingered the red berries woven through the evergreens. Levi had not been able to find real holly. These red berries came from a native plant. Levi called kinnikinnick. He’d found the shrub in the fall, cut his pieces and stored them in the cool barn so he would have it for the wreath.
Blood red berries for the blood Jesus shed for us. She believed wholeheartedly one thing Levi had said. It had sunk deep into her heart. Virginia’s mother died for her. She was certain her mother had earned her place in heaven.
That knowledge had given Virginia more peace than she’d ever dreamed. In the days and months after her mother had passed, Virginia was constantly on edge, trying to please her father, jumping at all of his commands. She couldn’t see beyond her misery. Thoughts of her mother only brought her more pain. But Levi had reminded her of her Sunday school learning. Of how the greatest commandment is to love one’s neighbor as one’s self. Her mother had loved her daughter beyond her own life. Virginia knew her mother’s sacrifice had brought her peace. Her sweet mother was safe and comforted in the arms of Jesus. Virginia owed that certainty, that understanding to Levi and she would be forever grateful.
But she couldn’t tell him. There were so many things she couldn’t say to Levi because the truth was…she’d fallen in love with the boy/man, her husband never-to-be. She loved him…everything about him, even his faults. How sometimes he couldn’t resist poking at his brothers, egging them into an argument. How he loved to tussle with them and prove he was still the strongest and biggest brother. Virginia smiled. Maybe because he knew soon, Ben would be taller.
Still, Levi would forever be the most handsome of the brothers. He was beautiful. Men were supposed to be handsome but Levi was just plain beautiful. No other word could describe him. Just watching him walk across the room made her blood race through her body like a raging river. He had long, straight legs and a sway as he walked. A rolling rhythm that made her burst with envy for his strength. She longed to run her hands over his taut waist, to feel those muscles beneath her fingers.
Sometimes when he rolled up his sleeves to wash, she could only stare at the corded sinew of his forearms, arms that could protect and still hold tenderly. When he sat by the fire and one of the girls crawled into his lap, Virginia wished it were she. Wished she could tuck her face into the curve of his neck, smell his clean soap scent and feel those arms around her, holding her close, keeping her safe. She ached for that safety.
She loved how his hair curled boyishly around his face and how his sky blue eyes danced. Yes, they still danced with pleasure and joy. She prayed every night that God would not allow life to take away that joyous light. It was a gift, a special gift Levi shared with the world. That and his generous heart, a heart as big as the country he loved so well.
He saw great things in this land’s future. And Levi Harper would be a part of it. He would be a leader, a strong man who would guide his family and neighbors through the black hole Virginia called tomorrow.
And that was why she couldn’t stay. Why she had to move on. Levi needed a better woman, someone capable of giving like he gave. He deserved a woman who felt some joy, some hope for
the future. Not the burned-out shell she had become, perhaps had always been.
The door opened. Levi stepped in on a wave of cold air and paused when he saw her fingering the red berries of the wreath.
Virginia jerked her fingers away and stepped back.
6
Levi shook his head and shut the door. Sliding his hands out of his leather gloves, he slapped them together. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Do what?” Virginia folded her hands behind her back.
“Pretend you don’t like the wreath. I won’t mistake your pleasure in it as some kind of commitment.”
Virginia felt flushed heat rush through her cheeks. That was another thing she loved about Levi, how he seemed to know what she was thinking even when she didn’t know herself. His simple understanding had taught her so much about herself. At least, most of the time she loved it. Right now all she wanted was to deny it. Unfolding her hands, she shrugged one shoulder. “You startled me, that’s all.”
A wry smile slid over his mouth. Virginia watched him cross the room, the sight of his rolling walk heating her blood to match her cheeks. He tossed his gloves to the table and stepped even closer. Virginia had to school herself not to step back, away from his fresh snowy scent and the heat in his gaze as it traced over her.
He reached out and caught her loose hair in his fingertips. “I’ve wanted to see this since the day I met you.” His tone was low, intimate. Its caress was even stronger than the tug on her hair.
She should step back, needed to move away from his magnetic pull. But this was something else she loved about Levi. How he could make her feel beautiful. All the hateful, hurtful things her father said about her faded away when Levi looked at her. She felt pretty. Precious. She wanted the feeling to last for just a few minutes more.
He tucked his hand beneath her hair. His fingers caressed the nape of her neck as he threaded through the strands and lifted, letting them fall. His fingers glided along her neck, sending shivers down her spine. He lifted it again. A slow smile tugged at one corner of his mouth.
“Curls. It curls around my fingers.”
Sweet. So sweet. His voice sang to her, eased her senses. Never taking his gaze away from hers, he lifted the long length again and brought it close to his face, rubbed it across his lips, those full, teasing lips she remembered so well from their kiss in the snow.
As her golden streaks tugged and glided over the mouth she longed to kiss again, she felt her knees go weak. She barely stopped herself from falling into his arms by gripping the side of the table and stepping back.
He didn’t release her hair. She had to reach up and pry it from his fingers.
She took another step back, flipped her hair behind her shoulder and turned away. “I’m sorry I missed breakfast.”
Levi sighed, disappointment heavy in the breathy sound. He turned and picked up his gloves. “You needed the rest. Besides, we managed just fine, especially since we had plenty of your leftover biscuits.” That wry smile tugged at his lips again.
Even in his disappointment he could find a way to smile.
Virginia hated that she brought him anything less than joy. The longer she stayed, the more difficult it would be. She needed to think about leaving as soon as possible. Ignoring the pain that shot through her, she lifted the plate from the stove to the table.
“Ben’s already left for the high mountain. He wants to track that deer he found last week. Soon the game will be heading further up the mountain and it’ll become scarce. We’ll can and dry more of the venison. It should last us through winter.”
Her first bite of biscuit was dry in her mouth. She’d lost her appetite but she focused on the food as if she cared.
“Seth is hitching the horses to the wagon. As soon as you’re finished there, the four of you can head into town.”
She swallowed hard. “What do you mean the four of us? Aren’t you going?”
His shoulders shifted as if he was easing a burden. It was just a slight gesture but one Virginia didn’t miss.
“I have to work in the mine today.”
“But…but it’s Saturday.”
“Yes, and tomorrow is Sunday. I’ll rest then.”
She watched him walk back toward the door. “Ben’s hunting. You’ll be working by yourself.”
He seemed to ignore her words as he headed steadfastly toward the door.
“Levi, why are you doing this? You hate the mine. Hate working there, day after day and finding nothing. Why do you keep doing it?”
He paused then and turned back. The look in his eyes chilled her to the bone. For the first time, there was darkness in those eyes. “I have to.”
Opening the door, he strode out. Virginia wanted to run after him, wanted to stop him but she couldn’t make her legs work. They were frozen in fear.
Levi was doing this for them. Day after day, losing the light in his eyes. And all for their sakes.
Another person placing themselves between her and trouble. Horrible things happened when people sacrificed for her.
Virginia started to tremble, and the biscuit fell out of her hands onto the table. Crumbs scattered everywhere.
****
Virginia was right. Levi hated mining. Walking up the mountain and leaving his family behind took all of his willpower. It didn’t help that she’d rejected him yet again. The last few weeks of hope had brought him through the days, kept him digging and trucking barrels of rock with the knowledge that he was providing for her, making a home, a place for her to be safe.
It seemed no matter how hard he worked, it would never be enough to make her feel safe, never enough to allow her to love. Slamming open the shanty door, he lit the kerosene lamp, stripped off his heavy jacket, grabbed his pick and headed into the mine. The cold bit into him, only growing warmer as he walked deeper into the mine. A crackling made him pause.
These bitter days, the contrasts between the cold outside and the hot interior caused the mine to shift. Dust danced in the light.
Just what he needed. Ground shifting to make a difficult day more so. Raising the lantern, he inspected the wooden supports. Strong and steady. They would hold. He waited until the dirt settled, then moved down the dark corridor his family had cut out of the earth.
At the end of the tunnel, he hung the lantern from a spike driven into the wall. He lifted the pick and it seemed heavier than he could manage. Shoulders sagging, he rested it on the floor as he studied the rocks in front of him. Nothing but black. No sign of color. No sparkle. No hope.
Levi’s shoulders sagged even more. Lord, I need your help.
He couldn’t speak the words out loud, but the Lord knew what was in his heart. With his head bowed and the heavy pick resting on the floor, he gathered strength. Lifting his head, he studied the black rock in front of him.
Maybe he was digging in the wrong direction. Maybe there was some color in the shale on the other side. Hefting his pick over his shoulder, he struck. Large chunks loosened. A second hit brought down a hail of smaller rock. Levi had to step back as an avalanche of small pebbles and medium-sized rock tumbled around his feet.
Was that a glint?
Excitement shot through him as he ran his fingers along a slender vein of fool’s gold. But the pyrite might be hiding the real thing behind its back. Levi raised the pick, pounding again and again. Each stroke brought down another shower of dirt and rock. The air filled with dust and the mine creaked from the cold but Levi ignored it. If he could just get past this last large boulder, he felt sure there was a pocket of something behind it.
One more mighty blow with the pick and a boulder fell down…bringing the whole side of the mine with it. Like a stack of dominos, rocks along the wall gave way. Levi stumbled and fell backward as debris rained down on him and the light went out.
****
Virginia watched Seth deftly handle the reins of the horses. He’d let her drive the team, teaching her as they took the road to town. But as they drove closer to t
he cluster of tents and buildings, the boy seemed to grow nervous. He’d taken the reins from her, speaking soothing words to the horses.
Virginia suspected that the words were more for his comfort than the horses’. What had him worried? When he pulled up in front of the mercantile, he hopped down quickly and began to tie the reins.
Virginia helped the girls down from the wagon. “This shouldn’t take long, Seth. Since we had such a late start, I’d like to finish and get back home.”
“You go on ahead. I’ll be back in a little while.”
Virginia halted in her steps. Trudy put her hands on her hips. “I knew you were up to something, Seth Harper! Levi told you to stay and help Virginia.”
Seth spun, his face set in angry lines. “Levi’s not my pa. He just tries to act like it.”
His words upset Virginia. She grabbed his shoulder as he tried to hurry away. “What in the world’s gotten into you?”
“The same thing that’s gotten into you. I can’t wait to get out of this place!”
Stunned, Virginia stepped back. Seth glared at her, his anger turning his face red.
“Yeah, I heard you tell Levi you were going to leave.”
She heard the girls gasp but couldn’t take her focus off Seth, who looked poised to run. She tried to calm herself, to think clearly.
“My reasons for leaving have nothing to do with your resentment toward Levi. Everything your brother does he does for your family. He loves you very much.”
“If he loved us, he’d take us away from here. This place killed Jake and Pa and then Ma. Still, every day Levi goes back to that mine. He’s next.”
Virginia’s mind reeled. Seth was driving his brother away because he feared losing him in the mine. It wasn’t anger and resentment in his features. It was fear.
She tried to think calmly, to come up with a reasonable response, while her senses screamed. “But where would you go, Seth? What would you do if you left here?”
“I don’t know. I just know I’m leaving here first chance I get. Just like you.”
Christmas Mail Order Angels: The complete 11 Volume Set Page 43