With that, he spun and sprinted down the street. Virginia watched him go, unable to call him back or to stop him because she knew he was right. She was running, too.
His very words mimicked her own. She’d told Levi she had no plan, no place to go. She was simply leaving. Running blind.
“Are you really leaving us?”
Trudy’s question stalled Virginia’s soundless recriminations. The little girl stared up at her, her eyes wide and hurt.
Tears were already forming in Nellie’s eyes. “We thought you loved us.”
Virginia pulled Nellie into her arms. “I care about you very, very much.”
“Then why are you leaving us?” Trudy resisted Virginia’s efforts to tug her into a hug.
Why indeed? Why leave when everything she’d ever wanted was right here?
Fear. Just like Seth, she’d let fear control her thoughts and actions. She was afraid to let these little girls know how much she cared for them. She was afraid of anyone caring for her, of her own feelings for Levi, even of feeling beautiful.
Dropping to her knees, she pulled them both into her arms and held them tightly. “I do love you. I love you so much it hurts. But sometimes we have to do what we don’t want to.”
Trudy shook her head. “That’s what mama said before she died.”
A sob caught at Virginia’s throat. How had she let this happen? All she’d wanted was to help. And now she’d caused these precious little ones to be afraid, to lose hope. Just like her.
Why had she hurt the people she loved the most? How did it happen that she’d become just like her father?
She’d let life beat her down…just like him. In spite of all her efforts, disappointments and insecurities had turned her inward. Made her frightened. Afraid of life and all its struggles. The only difference between her father and her was that he let his fear turn to anger. He used his fists to fight back and she ran away. Both actions were fear turned to anger. How long would it be before the same thing happened to her…before she found her fear coming out like her father’s? What if some day she raised her fist to one of these little girls?
She’d lived in darkness for years and now she’d brought that black emptiness into Trudy and Nellie’s lives. Instead of helping, she’d taught them what hopelessness felt like.
But they didn’t have to live in the dark. Light had come into the world through Jesus. Every Sunday they lit a candle on the evergreen wreath to remind them. Jesus came into the world so that no one had to live in darkness or fear. No one had to live without hope. That’s what Levi had been trying to teach her.
Jesus brought love, strength, and courage to mankind. When human strength failed, He carried believers through. But He didn’t just carry them. He did more for them.
Virginia remembered a verse Ben had read. She’d memorized it because it seemed like a promise. Psalm 37:4: Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
The desire of her heart was to stay here, to love and be loved. To be Levi’s wife in all ways.
Tears filled her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. Drawing on His promise, she faced the girls. “I’m not going anywhere. Not if I can help it.”
Nellie threw her arms around Virginia’s neck and Trudy leaned into her. They rocked back and forth on the boardwalk outside the mercantile as all three of them cried. A man walked out of the door and crouched beside them.
“Miss, are you all right?”
Virginia smiled up at him. “It’s Mrs. And yes, I am now. Thank you.”
“Can I help you up?”
She shook her head. “I think we’ll rest here just a little longer.”
“All right. If you say so.” He rose and strode down the boardwalk, but not without looking back several times.
At last, Virginia stood. Using her skirt, she wiped away her tears and the girls. “Let’s get our supplies so we can go home. Our family is waiting for us.”
It didn’t take long to fill her list of supplies, including more yarn to finish the Christmas presents. All the while, Virginia’s gaze shot out the window, looking for a sign of Seth and watching the sky fill with dark clouds. A storm threatened, causing her troubled heart to be even more anxious.
Take delight in the Lord…
All the scripture Ben and Levi had read to her over the past months shot into her mind, as if they were alive and had lain in wait for an opening to sneak inside her thoughts.
I’m trying, Lord. Really trying.
They finished their purchases and loaded them into the back of the wagon. Seth still hadn’t shown up.
“We’ll just wait here for him. I told him I wouldn’t be long.” Virginia tried not to sound anxious but she wasn’t fooling anyone. The clouds darkened and large, heavy snowflakes began to fall.
They waited for what seemed like an hour, but in truth was only twenty minutes before Virginia had an idea. “Girls, wait here. I’ll be right back.”
She climbed down from the wagon and hurried down the street to the livery stable. Just ahead, the double doors were cocked open. Even before Virginia reached them, she heard shouting. Lifting her skirts, she ran forward and slid sideways through the doorway. Travis Lawson had one long, lean hand wrapped completely around Seth’s slender arm, holding him fast. The other hand was fisted and raised over his head.
“I told you, boy! Don’t ever…”
Rage filled Virginia. All she could see was that meaty fist in the air. “Stop! Don’t you dare hit him!”
She ran headlong toward the man. Like a battering ram, she plowed into him, pushing him away from Seth. Startled, the man stumbled back, cried out in pain and fell to the ground.
Virginia stood over him, her own fists clenched, her skirts swaying. “If you dare to lay one hand on him my husband will take you to task.”
My husband. The words echoed through her being. Her husband. Her protector. Given to her by God. A blessing…a blessing from God.
How had she not seen it? Like a lightning bolt, understanding melded into her being. God had protected her, promised her and walked beside her. He’d sent her out west to grow, to put aside her fear, to learn to love. To stop her from becoming like her father.
Still shaking from indignation and shock, she barely registered the man beneath her. He struggled to one elbow, murmured something she didn’t understand, and then fell unconscious. The fumes of liquor wafted up to her.
Disgusted, she grabbed Seth’s arm. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
Seth shrugged free. “We can’t just leave him here.”
“He’s drunk. He’ll sleep it off.”
“He’s not drunk. He’s hurt. That’s what I was trying to tell Levi last time.” Seth ducked his head. “It’s true. I used to sneak in here and shoot the rats in his hay with my slingshot. Then a few months back, I missed and hit one of the horses.” He motioned behind him. “That big gray back there got startled and stepped on Mr. Lawson’s foot.”
“You hit his horse with your slingshot?”
“It was an accident. But Mr. Lawson’s got a bad foot and it hurt real bad after that. He can’t keep up with the work around here.”
Virginia glanced around and noticed the run-down appearance of the livery.
“That doesn’t excuse his drinking, Seth.”
“I know. But he drinks to ease the pain.”
“How do you know so much about what goes on here?”
“It’s my fault. I have to help him. So I sneak in here and watch over him, take care of the animals when I’m in town.”
“Why didn’t you explain all of this to Levi?”
Seth ducked his head. “He’s got too much to worry about already. I needed to take care of this myself.”
Virginia took a slow deep breath and knelt to his level. “Listen to me, Seth Harper. I thought that I could do things myself, too. But we’re a family. We help each other. Maybe you were right and you needed to do this, but you didn’t need to do it alone. We can help.�
��
“What do you mean we’re a family? You’re leaving.”
She shook her head. “Not unless Levi sends me away for being a blind and stubborn fool.” She gave his arm a little shake. “Let’s make a deal. If I stay, you have to stay too.”
Seth cocked his head and gazed at her askance. “Won’t matter if we stay. Levi’s still gonna go to that mine.”
Virginia rose to her full height. “We’ll see about that. We’re a family. He might change his mind when we tell him how we feel.”
“We?” Seth frowned.
“We. I don’t like the mine either. I think if we put our heads together, we can find another way. Now.” She put her hands on her hips. “Let’s figure out what do to do with Mr. Lawson.”
The boy’s face brightened. “Can I stay here and take care of the horses?”
It was Virginia’s turn to frown. ”I don’t think so.” She shook her head. “There’s no other choice…we’ll just have to take him home. Go get the wagon.”
Seth’s eyes widened.
“Go on. We have to hurry. This storm looks like a powerful one.”
“What about the horses?”
“Tie them onto the back of the wagon. We’ll take them, too.”
Seth’s face lit like a lantern before he spun and took off running. Virginia hurried back to Travis Lawson and rolled him over. A wave of sour body order and alcohol made her reel back. But Seth was right. The man wasn’t just drunk. He burned with fever. He mumbled senselessly as Virginia called his name.
“Mr. Lawson, we’re taking you home with us. I can’t get you to your feet by myself. Can you help me?”
She didn’t know if he understood but his head bobbed forward and he pushed his hands beneath him. Pushing and pulling, she’d managed to get him to his feet when the doors of the stable flew open and Seth backed the wagon inside. With the girls tugging the man’s arms and Virginia pushing his legs…carefully so as not to touch his injured foot…they managed to get him into the back of the wagon. They wrapped him in blankets as Seth tied the horses to the back. Virginia closed the doors and they headed down the road.
Every time Seth tried to speed up the horses, Mr. Lawson moaned in pain so they kept the horses to a sedate pace. Darkness had long since fallen when at last they saw the lights of the cabin. Virginia sighed with relief as they pulled up. The door flew open and Ben hurried out to greet them.
“Get Levi, Ben. I need his help.”
“Levi’s not here. He didn’t come home from the mine.”
7
Levi was always home at dusk. Especially now when the dark, cold, nights made the trails slippery and dangerous. Cold, hard fear filled Virginia.
The same fear was reflected in Ben’s eyes.
“I wanted to go looking for him, but with the storm coming on, I was worried about you, too. I knew Levi’d want me to take care of you.”
Of course he would. He always thought of everyone else, even one, foolish young woman who didn’t appreciate the gift she’d been given until it was too late.
Please, Lord, don’t let it be too late.
Cold made her fingers shake. “Help me get Mr. Lawson in the house.”
Precious minutes passed before they freed the man from the wagon and tucked him into Levi’s bed. The effort rendered Mr. Lawson unconscious again.
Virginia felt as if a clock was ticking in her ear. She wanted to leave and run up the hill to the mine but she had things to tend to.
“Help me get this boot off.”
Lawson moaned as she pulled it loose. His foot was black and blue and swollen, but no open cuts or infection seemed evident. A cold compress to help the swelling would give them a better idea about the injury. From his emaciated look and threadbare clothes, Virginia guessed that Mr. Lawson had used a lot of liquor “medicine” and not taken proper care of himself in these freezing temperatures. She hoped the fever was due to that lack of care. Only time would tell. For now, all they could do was treat the symptoms.
“Seth, get two buckets of snow. I want you to soak some cloths in the melting snow and wrap them around his foot. That might take down the swelling. Trudy, I’m going to put a few drops of eucalyptus oil in one of the buckets. It smells strong so don’t worry about that. Then you need to wipe his forehead and the sides of his neck to bring this fever down. When his skin is cold to touch, stop for a while then start again. Both of you keep doing that till I get back.”
“Where are you going?” Nellie’s voice trembled.
“Ben and I are going after Levi.”
She stepped outside the room. Ben had a lantern and a rifle in his hands. Nodding, he opened the door and hurried out. Virginia followed him, ducking her head as freezing gusts hit her face. The sudden chill pierced her body to the bone. But the real shivers and trembling came from fear.
They hit the trail behind the cabin and began to climb silently, Ben leading the way. Virginia kept pace, anxiety driving her.
Seth’s words ran like a litany through her mind. The mine killed Jake and Pa. Levi’s next.
A sob wracked through her. No, Lord, please no. Let Levi be safe. We need him. I need him. Please. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
God knew the desires of her heart even before she did. He brought her here, to show her how to share her life with this godly man. The Lord would fulfill His promise.
Heavy snow began to fall, and the trail soon disappeared. Thankfully, Ben seemed to know the way because even the forest around them became a blanket of white. Virginia slipped and fell, face first. Ben stopped but she was back on her feet before he could reach her.
“Don’t stop. I’m fine.”
Ben spun and hurried up the trail, his dark form the only black in a white night. Her lungs burned from climbing. Her legs trembled, and her fingers and toes burned from the cold. Snow on her eyelashes blurred her vision. Ben’s stride grew longer, creating distance between them. He was further and further away. Virginia’s hope began to fade.
Take delight in the Lord.
I do delight. I thank You and praise You, Lord.
She ran up the hill, her heart bursting with hope and thanks…even as tears froze on her cheeks.
Thank You, Lord, for bringing me the desire of my heart. Please keep him safe. Bring him home.
The snow eased to a gentle fall. The white faded into night shadows. In the distance, the mournful howl of a wolf reached her ears.
Ben stopped short, listening. The wolf pack was close. Too close.
He handed her the lantern and cocked his rifle.
Up ahead, something white flashed across the black distance. Virginia gasped. White flashed again but this time, it moved up and down, not like a running wolf. Virginia squinted, peering into the inky dark. The white bobbed up and down…like a lantern.
She held her breath. Sure enough, light flashed against the brown cloth of trousers as it swung back and forth.
Letting out a cry, Virginia dropped the lantern and ran ahead. Gasping and sobbing, she brushed passed Ben, calling Levi’s name.
At last her husband came into full sight, his lantern held high, casting a yellow glow on the snow.
“Virginia? What are you doing out…”
He never had the chance to finish his sentence. She ran into him, full force. His breath came out in a whoosh as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
“What’s wrong?”
She shushed his words with a kiss full on his mouth. Despite the taste of dirt and dust, his lips had never felt more wonderful.
Wrapping one arm around her, he lifted her. She leaned back to run one hand up his cheek, knocking his hat to the ground and threading her fingers through the hair that refused to be tamed.
“I have wonderful news…” he began.
She kissed him again, silencing the words.
Every time he tried to talk, she kissed him again.
“I guess it’s not so important after all.” Lifting her with one arm, he let her have her
way with him.
****
Fresh brewed coffee and yeasty bread filled the air. Virginia smiled as she pulled the large pan of cinnamon rolls out of the oven. She’d decided to make a special treat for Christmas breakfast and had risen long before her family to mix the rolls and set them to rise. As the bread began to waft its teasing aroma throughout the cabin, she heard stirring in the rafters.
Ever since Mr. Lawson had joined them, Levi and the boys had slept up there. The livery owner needed uninterrupted sleep to heal, so Levi and his brothers carted their bedding up into the corner of the rafters reserved for storage. Ben declared it to be the warmest spot in the house and claimed he wouldn’t be going back to his bed in the room below even when Mr. Lawson was well enough to leave.
Seth’s face had crumbled at Ben’s declaration…not because he wanted to return to his bedroom but because he was sad to see the older man leave. The boy had come to truly appreciate his penance of taking care of a bed-ridden Lawson and his horses. In fact, once Seth’s secret had been revealed and Levi put him in charge of Mr. Lawson’s progress, Seth had become a changed person.
Virginia told Levi what she’d learned from Seth that afternoon outside the mercantile. She admitted she hadn’t realized the weight of guilt the young boy had been carrying. She was glad to see him so happy.
Levi fixed a cryptic gaze on her and said. “He’ll be even happier when I share the rest of my good news.”
The first part of his good news had been shared the night he returned from the mine. The cave-in had revealed a good-sized vein of gold…enough to live on for a long while. He had stayed longer that night to dig it out of the rock wall. When he was finally home and warming up in front of the fire, Levi announced he was done with mining. The storm turned into a blizzard and prevented them from locking up the entrance, but as soon as he could, Levi intended to put a gate and a padlock across the opening.
When Virginia asked him about the rest of his news, he only smiled. “It’s a surprise. You’ll have to wait until Christmas.”
Well, it was Christmas morning and she was as anxious as the children to hear Levi’s surprise Christmas gift.
Christmas Mail Order Angels: The complete 11 Volume Set Page 44