Living Life the Essex Way

by Sam Faiers

  For example, when I split up with Joey, I got together with a guy called TJ. Due to the growing success of the show, I knew the first pictures of us as a couple would be of interest to the public, and photographers were trying to get it. So if I made a deal with a photographer to have the photos taken, in exchange for some of the money and a chance to check them before they were sent to the press, I could have some control over what went out, and everyone else would be happy too. I don’t see that there is any problem with me earning money from photos like that – why should everyone else earn money by printing a picture of me when I don’t even get a share?

  So, in this case, my manager Adam arranged for a photographer we often work closely with to do the pictures, and gave him a time and place where we would be. Then, as TJ and I walked down the road doing our own thing, he took a series of natural-looking photos that got picked up in the press the next day – job done!

  I have also got involved in doing photos like this when, for example, we are doing beach shots. There is nothing worse than being pictured in a bikini at a strange angle, or just as you breathe out, or squint into the sun. So if I know I am going on holiday, I will often arrange with a photographer to be pictured over one afternoon. We make the pictures as natural as possible, and I just do whatever I would be doing normally, but afterwards I look at the photos before they are sent to the press and choose the ones I think are best. This means I can make sure no photos are going out that I don’t like – and I can also relax for the rest of the holiday because I know that people won’t be taking pictures without me knowing, as the value of any photos will have gone down after the first set have gone to print.

  This may seem like a strange thing to people not in the industry, but from the inside it honestly seems to make sense. And I can say that the majority of celebrities are doing set-up pictures. I hear about it happening all the time. For me, the rule is to only do it in situations that are real anyway – I would never do a set-up picture of something that was not actually true in my life. In the end, image is such an important part of any ongoing TV career, and it would be naïve not to try to control it as much as possible.

  The one place I do have total control over what photos go out to my fans is Twitter. I have got quite into the website, and I love putting up photos of clothes, or friends, or me doing something, as it is a great way to share stuff. But, like all these things, I have learned along the way by making mistakes!

  At my twentieth birthday I tweeted a picture of me and my friends in our knickers but topless after a spray tan. It was a pre-party girls’ sleepover, and we had a great evening. I tweeted saying what we were doing and that I couldn’t wait for my birthday, and loads of fans replied asking for a picture, so I just put it up. I only had about 50,000 followers at the time, and I don’t think I realised the impact it would have. Funny comments from other Twitter users were about all I expected.

  But we woke up hungover the next day to see the picture in all the papers. All my friends were like ‘Oh my God’ but I just had to laugh about it. And I have learned from it – I understand the impact these things can have, so I wouldn’t do it again.

  That was just me being naïve, but if people with more experience do something like that, it really is just attention seeking, and I would feel very uncomfortable doing something like that now that I know better. It annoys me when people do things just to get photographed. For example, I remember Lauren Pope grabbing me in the street once and kissing me on the lips in front of photographers as we left an event. I was shocked, but the paps took the photo, and of course it was picked up in the press the next day. I was annoyed by it – that is not the kind of thing I want people to think I need to do to get publicity. Perhaps I am more grounded than some of the cast because I have a close family around me, whereas people like Lauren Goodger and Lucy Meck don’t, which is a shame. But I know my own boundaries and what I am happy with and I do my best to stick to that.

  As far as interviews go, I have got used to them now as well. And to be honest, most of the journalists are really nice to us. They don’t over-analyse the show, but accept it for what it is. Actually I think most of them are fans of it, so we just end up having nice conversations instead of getting grilled about difficult stuff. I think they realise we are probably quite good role models. But it is still weird for me to be asked really personal questions by someone I don’t know well or have just met, like things about my family or sex life. But I realise they are just doing their job, and it is part of being famous.

  We didn’t really get any media training or advice on what to say when we did our first interviews, but there were ITV press officers for TOWIE listening in on the chats, I guess to make sure we didn’t say anything we shouldn’t. I have quite a good head for what to say and what to keep secret though. I was quite clued up from day one about what could be twisted or taken to mean something else, so I never had too many of those kinds of issues. Some of the cast weren’t though – and still aren’t even now, to be honest. Some people get it, some learn along the way and some people will never quite grasp it.

  But, oh my God, the only answer I regretted giving in the early days was about who my celebrity crush was. Every journalist asked that question, and I told them all Plan B and really gushed about him. So it appeared in all their articles, and it sounded like I was a bit obsessed! But I guess it was good I got it out there – and I have since found out that he knows about it . . . I got to go back stage at one of his concerts, and one of my friends was like ‘Oh, Sam fancies you,’ and he was like ‘Yeah, so I’ve read.’ Very embarrassing! We have seen eachother at several events since then, and always get on well. At the Brit Awards this year, the newspapers implied that we were flirting but really we were just hanging out and having fun. I think we are both too focused on our careers to be looking for a relationship with each other, but he’s a lovely guy, so you never know – one day perhaps!

  I get asked some questions over and over again. The most common one is: ‘How has your life changed since the show started?’ And I always have pretty much the same answer. I tend to say something along the lines of ‘In some respects, massively. I have got fans and people want to take photos of me. But the core things are the same – my friends and my family. I still sit around the table and have dinner with my family, the way I always have done, so in that way life is just as normal as ever.’

  I also get asked a lot about why Essex is so much fun, about clubbing and about my beauty routine. But I don’t get bored talking about it – it’s my life and I love it!

  Another common question is ‘Is your main thing in life men and money?’ I think it is a hard one because really the answer is ‘I suppose it is.’ But the question is asked in a way that makes it sound as if that’s a bad thing. However, think about it – obviously I would like to settle down at some point and, honestly, everyone (not just in Essex) wants to earn money. I think women in Essex are now more ambitious than the men. We want to be powerful, we want to be at the same level as the boys. We want what they have but better – so if a man gets a Range Rover, a girl will get one but with a better spec. And most Essex women, when they set their mind on something, will succeed, trust me. Just wait and see what else I have my mind set on!

  My Tips for Red-carpet Posing

  • Always put one leg out in front of the other to elongate it. I always go for my right leg.

  • Put the opposite hand on your hip, and let the other one hang down by your side. This stops you looking too square, and if you have broad arms it will distract from that. I have my left hand on my hip, with my right arm hanging by my side.

  • Breathe in and you will get more definition on your neck, which looks better in a picture.

  • Keep your chin up to better define your jawline. Or if you are confident you won’t get a double chin, you can always drop your head a little and look upwards for a sexier look.

  • It sounds obvious, but smile! It makes you instantly more likeable. Or,
if for whatever reason you don’t want to smile, at least squint your eyes a bit, so they look smiley and friendly. Don’t pout unless you are doing it to be fun – a genuine attempt at pouting doesn’t work for 99 per cent of people.

  4

  THE MEN IN MY LIFE

  Sorry for the bad news, boys, but I am actually already married. The lucky lad is Wayne Marshall. I wore a white puffball dress with beads and a bow as we exchanged vows, and Billie was my maid of honour. We swapped rings while friends and family looked on, and a man called Tom was the vicar. The only problem was, I was only seven years old, and poor Wayne probably didn’t know what he was letting himself in for!

  Yep, we got married one Saturday afternoon at a friend’s house. One of the ‘lucky’ parents had to pretend to be the vicar, and I wore the dress I had worn as a flower girl for my Aunt Libby’s wedding just months before. We had rings, although who knows where they were from – probably a slot machine, or a Christmas cracker. Everyone else pretended to be guests, and after the ceremony we even had a reception. There was no divorce – Wayne and I just grew apart, I guess. I wonder if he even remembers – as a girl, I certainly do.

  Finding ‘The One’ and getting married is something I have always hoped I will do. It’s just that so far it hasn’t happened. And it’s not for a shortage of boyfriends, I will admit! I am one of those people who definitely spend more time in relationships than out. It’s not that I am afraid of being alone – I am independent enough for that – but I enjoy being in a relationship, and I always seem to come across someone at the right time. I throw myself into every relationship properly, and put everything into it – I believe in giving it your full effort. If you don’t believe in the relationship, you shouldn’t be in it.

  That wholehearted determination is something that has always applied to me, even with my first boyfriend. And yes, Wayne, despite my young age, was not even the first!

  That honour went to another little boy whose parents were friends with my parents. He was called Billy, and I think I probably tormented him really. I remember always being pretty boisterous with him and grabbing his cheeks whenever I saw him. Our parents used to ask if we were boyfriend and girlfriend, and I’d say yes, while at the same time he would determinedly be saying no! Even in the one picture I have found of the two of us together, it is pretty clear that the feelings were rather one-sided – while I look as pleased as anything as I wrap myself around him, the poor boy just looks unhappy, and pretty terrified. The complications of young love . . . even if I was oblivious to them at the time!

  I had a few other boyfriends through primary school – if you can call them that. I remember a guy called Joe who I had a massive crush on in Year 6. My memory is a bit hazy, but I have a feeling he may have been the first guy I kissed. Then there was Harry Lonergan, who was in Year 7. I suppose he was the first person I officially went out with, although a snog and a bit of hand-holding was as far as it went. He was a family friend, and I really fancied him, although now he is more like a brother to me.

  Then there was Aaron Corse. Looking back at it, our relationship was so innocent and cute – it was lovely! We used to meet up as part of a group every Saturday. I guess that was the closest thing we got to a date. We were in Year 8, and I remember we didn’t kiss for ages, but when we did we were together for six months. He used to do things like pay for my ticket when we all went to the cinema, which I thought was really sweet at the time. But the best present of all that I can remember was when he gave me a £20 phone credit for my mobile. That was amazing, and made me so happy – I only ever bought £5 at a time, so I was really touched!

  I guess my first proper boyfriend was Frazer Parrish. Like everyone I had dated up until this point, he was a local guy from a pretty similar background. We got together when I was 15 and he was 17, and we dated for nine months. We first met through friends and started texting each other, and then I saw him at a few house parties – they were the big thing at the time – and I got to know him better. He asked me out, and I remember our first date was at the cinema, but I’m not sure what we saw. Then we pretty quickly got more serious, and he met my parents and that.

  He had left school, worked as a builder and drove a car, so I felt really grown-up going out with him. I loved it when he picked me up in his car, even though it was just an Astravan that he used for work – I’d secretly look around to see if anyone noticed me getting in whenever he arrived! His world seemed so far away from mine, as I headed to school in my uniform every day, but I loved that.

  He was very generous and gave me some really nice presents. I remember these Timberland boots with fur around the top that I loved, and he also bought me my first diamond. It was a ring with a glass heart with a diamond chip inside it that moved about. It was similar to those amazing Chopard ones, and I still have it today.

  Frazer was also the first guy I slept with, and we had been together about three months when it happened. We didn’t plan to have sex, but it kind of just happened. We didn’t make a big deal of it – I just remember him worrying about me all the time and asking if I was OK, which was nice. I don’t regret him being my first at all – I am happy it happened for me while I was in a relationship, rather than the way some people go about it, having sex with someone they don’t know well and then wishing they had waited for someone a bit more important. He was a good guy.

  That summer my family went to Spain as usual, for the six-week school holiday. Both Billie and I had boyfriends, and they came out to stay with us for a week. But soon after that holiday, my relationship with Frazer just faded. We didn’t row, but even though he was older, I think I kind of grew out of him. I was very young when we started dating, and I just lost interest. I say hello if I see him now, but it was years ago – we are both very different people.

  The second person I slept with in my life was actually Mark Wright – and this is not something I admit often! But for people who have questioned how far back our history goes, there is your answer. My friend Jerri’s boyfriend, Leo, played football with him, and I remember it was in the days before Facebook and Twitter had taken off, and MySpace was the website everyone was using. Jerri and I were looking through Leo’s photos on MySpace, and I was like ‘Who is that? He’s so fit!’ about Mark. Then, can you believe, I did that teenage thing of getting her to get her boyfriend to tell him I had said that. I’m not sure what I expected to come of that, and funnily enough nothing did!

  I think the first time we actually talked was in Club One9Five in Epping. He knew about me by then, and we started chatting. I was 16 and he was older – I guess around 20 – which at that age can feel like quite a big gap. I didn’t know about Lauren Goodger at that time, and he didn’t mention her, so I guess they were on one of their off periods, after one of their many rows. Nothing happened for a while – he would just text me every now and then. But I guess that was the start of whatever me and Mark were – or still are.

  My friends had started going to a club in Brentwood called Sugar Hut around that time, and I guess I don’t have to explain much about that! Even then it was owned by Mick Norcross. We weren’t actually old enough to be there at the time, but we pretended we were. I remember going for a night out there once with my sister, Mark and his brother Josh, who Billie was kind of seeing. They were never a couple, but always seemed to be flirting and texting. It was the first time we all went out together.

  Then Mark asked me out on the only date we ever went on – until we went skiing on the date that was filmed for series three. How bad is that?! I am sure everyone thought I was exaggerating when I said on the show that he had only taken me on a date once before, but that is totally the truth – Mark is not a date man . . .

  He took me to Zizzi restaurant in Brentwood High Street, but to be honest it wasn’t the best date. I was young and not very worldly, and I didn’t know what to talk about. So even though we made an effort while we sat there eating our pasta and pizza, the date was awkward and uncomfortable. We wen
t on to a friend’s party afterwards, but it just didn’t work out. Mark didn’t ask for a follow-up date, and I wasn’t really hoping for one.

  But a few months later we met at Club One9Five again, and started talking. The chemistry was clearly still there, and we ended up kissing, and later went back to his parents’ house, although luckily I didn’t bump into them. We went to his bedroom and I slept with him. I don’t remember much about it, other than it was quite simple and straightforward – we were too young and inexperienced for it to be anything more! Nothing came of it anyway – I don’t think either of us was up for an actual relationship with the other. And to be honest, I sensed from the kind of texts that he sent that it wasn’t going to turn into anything more serious. There was a connection, but that was it. For the time being anyhow.

  I still wasn’t aware of Lauren, and I am not sure if she was on the scene at that time. I thought he was single, but you never know with Mark. I only found out about Lauren when I started going to Marbella a couple of years later and learned about her there.

  But despite the fact that our relationship was going nowhere, Mark and I and our friends socialised together for a while after our one night together, and we had a real laugh. ‘There was still a connection, and from time to time things happened, but only after a few drinks, and only really for fun. And then we grew apart again when I got a new boyfriend.

  This guy was the first person I really thought I loved. He was called Marc Palmer, and he was a barber. He was older – 22 I think – and we were together for a year. I was really into him, and we had such a good relationship. He really was someone I thought I could have had a future with. He was pretty paranoid though – I remember finding him going through my phone, which was ironic really, because it all fell apart when I found out he had cheated on me with Jodie Marsh. She was just becoming famous at the time, and was pretty well known in the area and on the club scene. Marc didn’t tell me what had happened, but she pretty much told the world she had slept with him, so I was hearing it from all my friends. I didn’t want to believe it, but everything pointed towards it, so we split up. I was totally heartbroken, and what made it worse was that he would go out with her and they would get papped together. It was so horrible, and so in my face. While everyone else was mad at her for giving Essex a bad name, I was mad at her for breaking my heart.