Living Life the Essex Way

by Sam Faiers

  Mark always knew exactly how he wanted to appear on TOWIE, and made that happen. I’m not saying that he was always acting exactly, but more that he knew how he wanted to come across and put himself in that mindset before filming started. You can decide for yourself if that means a few acting skills were involved! He didn’t care in the beginning how much of a womaniser or lads’ lad he came across as – that’s how he is, and he was happy for people to know it. But by series three he was doing all the crying and the emotion thing. Billie and I always say after watching one of those scenes with the boys together, ‘And the Oscar for best acting goes to . . . Mark and Arg!’ Although maybe we’re being a bit unfair!

  It is one of the questions I get asked most – is it all real? And the answer is exactly what it says on the credits – yes, but some bits are set up for viewers’ entertainment. The people are real, the emotions are real, the relationships are real. It’s just that certain situations are set up. And obviously, in order to fill viewers in on what has happened when the cameras have been away, we are often told what to discuss. So if there is a party and the next day someone comes into Minnies when we are being filmed, we are told the conversation should be about the night before.

  But what we discuss will have actually happened, and our opinions will be our own.

  I really try to be myself on TOWIE, and remember who I am, but it is hard because you feel you have to protect yourself and your image a bit and be careful as to how you come across. It’s natural that you start worrying what your fans will think, and whether people will judge you. But I think I have done quite a good job of staying true to myself. Looking back at series one, I can see that I have changed, but that is more down to me just growing up. People do mature between the ages of 19 and 21, and it is nice that viewers have been able to see me growing up.

  That is one of the reasons why it is good to introduce new people each series – it gives us old hands a bit of a shake-up, and pulls everyone back to earth. I think they always bring in too many girls though, and not enough boys! But I realise the producers are hoping to stir things up, with the girls affecting established relationships and that. It will be really interesting to see what happens now that the producers have switched to an open-door policy – anyone can return to the show now, which will definitely make things even more realistic.

  The newcomer who shocked me the most when they brought her in was Cara Kilbey in series three. Let’s just say I have history with Cara!

  On my 17th birthday a group of us, including Billie and Mark’s brother Josh, were out at a place called Blake Hall in Ongar. Josh’s ex-girlfriend, Brogan, came over and went crazy – I think she was jealous to see him dancing with other girls. She threw drinks over us and was screaming. Billie was upset and went home, but as it was my birthday, I stayed out. About an hour later Cara arrived and started dancing near us. She came over and said she was Brogan’s sister – although she isn’t – then punched me. We ended up having a bit of a scrap.

  I was so upset, and when I got home my mum went mad. Cara is four years older than me, so she should have known better. Six months later she apologised on Facebook, and said that she had been drunk that night. But we hadn’t spoken since, so when I heard she was coming on the show, I was like ‘Oh my God!’ I was actually pretty worried and spoke to the producers, but they had made the decision, and I guess they knew what they were doing. Cara and I eventually talked about what had happened that night, and decided to put it behind us. She seems to have changed, and I am not someone who holds grudges, so we have moved on from it.

  The first time we experienced cast members being dropped was at the end of series one – when we were all feeling very comfortable. Candy and Michael, who worked in Sugar Hut, were dropped before the second series, which they weren’t happy about, and I am not sure what they are doing now. But that is the way of TOWIE – they keep a close eye on who the public are relating to and are interested in, and they are not going to keep filming people that the public don’t really connect with. I guess that is what happened with Candy and Michael. It also probably made a difference that whereas the rest of us were good friends before the show, or had links of some kind, none of us really knew Candy and Michael, so there was less of the good interaction.

  It was weird when new people were brought into the show in series two. You get kind of protective of it, and feel like they are on your territory. It’s like someone new trying to join your group of friends – you need to work them out first!

  I remember Amy feeling put out in series two, when she was getting less air-time. I think that because she had a boy friend who didn’t want to appear on TOWIE, it made her less interesting for viewers – everyone likes to watch the relationships – but she was not happy when new people on the show, like Joey and Chloe, started getting more on screen time than her. She thought it was personal, when it wasn’t.

  At the same time, I think her management had other ideas for her and wanted to move her away from TOWIE, which is a shame, because I know she really did love her time on the show. We still tried to keep up our friendship after she left, but the moment I think I realised it really was fading was when I had the launch party for my Star magazine column.

  I had the party at Zenna Bar in Soho, and I knew a lot of the cast had other things on that night, but I thought the three people closest to me – Billie, Amy and Harry – would all make an effort to be there.

  Obviously Billie came, but I thought Harry might not, as it might have been a bit weird for him. He’d had a column in Star magazine before me, and then it got dropped and they gave it to me instead, so celebrating my success could understandably have been odd for him. But, bless Harry, he was there, and on great form, chatting and partying, and having a really good time. No, it was Amy who didn’t come, and that made me sad. I know she was nearby that night, but instead of coming to the party just for a bit, she decided to go home. That, to me, was a sign of how things had changed between us.

  I can’t say for sure whether it was her choice or that of her management, but after she left the show, Amy made a real point of distancing herself from the cast – and that even included me, despite our long friendship, which goes back 15 years. It seemed that what she – or her management – thought would be a good business decision came above our friendship, which is a shame. My priorities will always be my family and friends. I think Amy’s are her family and her management. In interviews she has done since, she has said that she has made an effort with me and sent texts, and I don’t really know what to make of this, as I don’t remember receiving any! I hope she will always be part of my life, but at the moment she is definitely not the person I thought she was.

  Another thing a lot of people ask me is how much we get paid for doing the show. The answer for the first series is nothing! Actually no, sorry, we were paid, but it was just £1 each! There is a rule that you can’t be under contract without being paid, so we all got that tiny amount. For the second series, the money increased slightly, and we were all paid £50 a day. And then, for series three and four, we were paid weekly, but it was pretty much the same pay. We went up to the equivalent of £80 a day for series five and for the current series, but it’s not exactly a fortune is it?

  It is through all the extra stuff that everyone earns their money. We are paid badly on the show – even the producers can’t dispute that! – but no one minds, because we earn so much money doing things that are only possible because of the show. Just from photo shoots, interviews and personal appearances, I have made enough in the last year to save for my house and holidays, and live a nice life, so it’s been great!

  It didn’t take long for most people on the show to get managers. You realise quite quickly that you need someone to sort out a lot of stuff for you. From setting up newspaper and magazine interviews and handling any negative press, to dealing with party invites, clothing requests and personal appearances – there is a lot of work going on behind the scenes.

  I took
on Adam, who used to work for a company called Money North. Adam really wanted to work with me, which was great, and when we met up he seemed nice and had loads of ideas and plans that made sense to me. Because I’ve worked with Adam from day one, when he left to set up his own company, AM Concepts, it was the obvious thing for me to do to follow him.

  We have a great relationship, and he has become a friend, as well as someone I work with. I think I am the only person on TOWIE who has actually stuck with the first manager they got, which I think says something.

  I regularly sit down with Adam to discuss what we want to achieve next for me. Between us, we are pretty good at making things happen. At the top of my wish list earlier last year (2011) was that I wanted a column, and I got one soon after with Star magazine. I loved doing it. It was like keeping a diary that I can look back on for the memories, and it was a great way to keep people up to date on my life. Alongside opening Minnies, I think the column was the other success I am proudest of since the show began.

  Also I said last year that I wanted to have a book published – and, well, as you can see, that happened too, and it’s been a massive success! I made it to number one in the bestsellers chart, and the book stayed there for an incredible 16 weeks. Doing the book signings was brilliant, and it was so exciting to travel around the country, meeting all my fans.

  For me, all this is just the beginning. I have loads more plans and ideas that I want to make come true. Just wait and see what I have on my wish list for the next year!

  14

  THE ONLY WAY IS UP!

  Wow. Well, as I’m always saying, my life is never boring! And since I finished the last chapter of this book, a lot of things have changed for me – although I’m sure you expected nothing less! A lot of it revolves around my love life. Who would have thought that I would end up back with Joey, and fall so madly in love with him?

  When I wrote the chapter on ‘the men in my life’, I had just split up from TJ and was enjoying being single. But then Joey and I started talking again. We were in touch before series five of TOWIE began in April, and then in the first episode we shared a snog – or just a kiss on the lips really – on a night out in Sugar Hut. I’m not sure how it happened, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing, but then we started talking more and getting closer. I took my little cousins around to his flat to visit as they love him, and he came around to my house when the cameras weren’t there, and things started developing.

  We didn’t know where it was going to go; we were just seeing each other, without any expectations. Joey didn’t believe I was really serious about him at first – I guess because I had split up with him before – he just thought I was passing the time with him. And to be honest, I was being cautious. It seemed weird that someone I thought things had run their course with was coming back into my life. But I knew I was attracted to him again, so I wanted to take things slow and just date for a bit.

  The moment I realised my feelings for him really had got stronger was in May, when he was photographed coming out of a nightclub holding hands with a girl.

  She wasn’t someone I knew, and nor did Joey – I think she was a mate of Diags. But everyone said they had gone home together. And although Joey denied it to me at first, there were pictures to show him with her, so it caused a massive argument between us. But Joey promised me nothing happened with her, and deep down I did believe him. At the same time I couldn’t really have too much of a go, because he wasn’t officially my boyfriend.

  I wouldn’t have done that to him though – getting photographed holding hands with another guy – because of all the hassle it would have caused and how it would make him feel. So after that, I expected to feel like I couldn’t be bothered with Joey anymore, and that it was time to end things, but I didn’t feel like that. I was just totally angry and upset, and really gutted. I sat and thought, why am I so mad? If I’m that bothered, I must really care about him. That’s when I realised I needed to make it clear that I wanted to be his girlfriend.

  And since then . . . Well, things have only got better and better. Our relationship has kept developing and we spend as much time together as we can, especially making sure we have lots of time for just the two of us, away from the show and the public. He calls me his little mouse, which I think is cute, as he knows my family’s nickname for me is Min, after Minnie Mouse. And I love him, of course I love him. Everyone loves Joey Essex! We’re always kissing and cuddling, and we just enjoy spending time together. Joey is quite romantic, though I think he could work on the gestures a bit as we get older – hint hint!

  I guess you’re wondering why it’s different this time around to the first time we dated, and I can honestly say, it is a 100 billion times better! I think Joey would agree with me when I say he has grown up a lot over the last year, so it feels like a more mature relationship. I used to feel like I was older than him, but now it doesn’t feel like that. We are more on a level. But also, we have made sure we do things at our own pace. Before, when our relationship was being played out on TOWIE, it was very easy to get carried away with it, and go at things full speed, before we had got to know each other. I think it feels like viewers want you to go all out, so before you know it, you get caught up in that feeling and go for it, and things can get too intense.

  It also helps that we both have our own places now. When I was living at my mum’s and he was coming round at 3am after a PA, we had to be quiet, and it was awkward. It also meant that sex wasn’t so easy. I said before that sex wasn’t very good with Joey, which I feel really bad for saying now, but I think that was why. We didn’t have the time and the place to be a couple in that way, but now we have our own space . . . let’s just say it’s made a massive difference! We make sure we make real time for each other and are enjoying learning about each other.

  I have met his family now too – his dad Donald and his dad’s girlfriend, Sasha. His dad tends to keep away from the limelight, but he likes me and Joey being together and was really welcoming, so it was great. Joey’s sister Frankie, who didn’t seem pleased when we first got back together, is great now as well. I can understand that she was feeling protective of him after seeing him hurt when we broke up. But now she has seen this is for real, she has been really supportive.

  In fact things between me and Joey are so real that at the minute we’re house-hunting for a home together. It’s a big step and quite scary, but I think it’s the right thing.

  We have also talked about getting married one day. I’ve even chosen the engagement ring I want on Cartier’s website and pointed it out to Joey, as well as making it the wallpaper on my computer. Nothing like a few decent hints – although he may need to find a cheaper version, as it is £300,000! And I also know what we would call our kids: Minnie and Maggie for twin girls, and Joey Junior for a boy – that is Joey’s choice though, can I say, not mine!

  So yes, as you can see, I am definitely planning for a future with him. We’re completely loved up but don’t get me wrong, I still like nothing more than a night out with my girlfriends. In fact, recently we were talking about the old days and about one night out in particular. It was the night that I got close to one celebrity before I got famous. So close that me and my friends ended up kissing him in the hot tub back at his house . . . That celebrity was Russell Brand! Back in Christmas 2008 I bought my mum and sister tickets for his Scandalous Tour, which was running in February the next year. I told some friends and they bought tickets too, and came along with us.

  Billie and I were supposed to be working that same night at Embassy nightclub in London – as I said before, I worked there for Mark Wright on the nights that he ran at the club. Well, the original plan was that we would go to the show, then go on to work afterwards, so we were really dressed up. I had red hair at the time, and was wearing a fitted black skirt and a leopard print body top. So me, Mum, Billie, and my friends went to the gig at Brixton Academy in south London, and I swear, we had the worst seats in the world. Russell was like a speck
on the stage, and we were looking at each other going, ‘Oh my god, this is going to be bad.’ But actually, he was really good and we spent the whole night laughing, as he told well inappropriate but totally funny jokes.

  Afterwards we had an hour or so before we had to be at work, so we went downstairs to have drinks in the theatre bar.

  Just as we sat down, this big bouncer walked in, and came straight over to us, and said, ‘Russell is inviting some people back to VIP if you would like to join him.’ We were all giddy, and were like, ‘Yeah, definitely!’ To us Russell was a real A-list celeb, so getting to hang out with him, even just for five minutes, was amazing. This bouncer took us to a bar upstairs, which was like a super VIP bar, and we all sat at this square table, chatting and having a drink, giggling because it was so exciting.

  Then Russell walked in. He was in his usual kind of outfit – skinny black jeans, boots and a white T-shirt – and his hair was all big and puffy; it was at that time when he always made it stand on end at the back. He came over to us, and we were so excited! You can imagine what it was like; this was a proper celebrity, and he wanted to talk to us! He sat next to my mum and was all like, ‘Hey girls,’ and asked us all our names. Russell just kept grinning his big grin, and he was all funny and really smooth. It was obvious he fancied my mum more than any of us. He loved her and he kept calling her Mummy Sue and flirting with her, it was hilarious.

  It wasn’t long before he asked if we wanted to go back to his house for a drink and to carry on the party. We were all giggling and were like, ‘Oh my God!’ because really Russell was a complete stranger, so it was weird to go back to his, but at the same time he wasn’t, because he was a celebrity. What could go wrong, if you know what I mean?

  Well Mum said she was going to go home, but said, ‘Look, if I was your age, I would go. You should all definitely go and have fun. Just make sure you keep your phones on and that you come home.’ I swear Russell was disappointed she wasn’t coming! But he still ordered some nice posh cars to drive us to his, though he travelled separately. We were the only people he had invited back from the bar, so it looked like the party was going to be just us group of girls and him.