Distracted No More

by Thia Finn

  “Have we met her before? I caught a glimpse of her when KeeMac did the proposal and thought I might have recognized her. She took off before I could get a good look, though.”

  “I’ve never met her so it must’ve been before I started traveling with AD. I’m outta beer. You want another?”

  “Sure, it’s better than that shit they’re spewing around. I’ll take a Corona over bubbles any fucking time.”

  People started making toasts to the happy couple, and that took over the party. The amount of adult beverages consumed in celebration exceeded our usual limit in the green room, so we were all falling down singing and dancing on the way back to the bus. Good thing security did their job to make sure we all made it before we pulled out of the parking lot.

  Chapter Ten

  Shocked and awed. That’s the only way I could describe what I witnessed as I stood in the wings at Assured Distraction’s concert. Me, a country girl through and through, offstage watching rock gods perform magic before an audience I could only dream of singing to.

  I peeked around Hayden’s tall frame, and there he stood. Carter Sheridan. I stared at the boy I once loved more than life itself so many years ago. Tears formed behind my eyes as the lump in my throat worked to close my airway so I couldn’t breathe. The boy I fell in love with standing there in no way resembled him, though. Instead, a breathtaking man faced the audience.

  His bass hung low across his hips tethered to the strap across his back. The muscular, tattooed arms barely moved to play the rhythmic chords of the music. Dark hair formed a ponytail down his back. He always wanted to grow his hair longer than they allowed in school. Now I knew why. My imagination formed an idea of the body hidden under the tight black t-shirt he wore. As a teen, he could only be described as lanky, but he obviously transformed into a man with a ripped body if the stolen pictures paparazzi made available on social media were any indication.

  Not that I stalked Assured Distraction’s men or anything. It’s not considered stalking if it automatically appeared on my social media feeds, right? Most of Carter’s pics that appeared showed him with beautiful women in all states of undress. He never seemed to keep his escapades secret from anyone.

  Since the band’s popularity started requiring bodyguards to keep the crazies away, candid shots became more difficult to find. Women Carter associated with didn’t seem to mind talking to the press in the beginning either, but apparently, nondisclosure forms now came first because information about him and the band rarely popped up online anymore.

  Memories of our time together rushed me. I sucked oxygen in as stolen kisses in a school alcove, laughs as we snuck behind the gym for slow tender kisses, and the night we made the decision to become one lying in the back of his pickup under the stars. Our love shined bright then but somewhere along the way, four friends and a bass guitar came between us. I let it happen because if I tried to stop it, hate and resentment would eat away at what we had.

  Breathe, Halo. Just breathe. I whispered to myself. He’s just a man.

  “Did you say something?” Hayden looked down at me.

  “Just talking to myself.”

  “Step in front of me so you can see better.” He took my hand and tried to pull me forward.

  I put it on the brakes. “No, no. I’m great right here.”

  He let go when he felt my resistance. “Fine, but this is looking important. I have a feeling you’re going to miss a perfect moment in AD’s history.”

  “Looks that way to me, too.” The words KeeMac spoke came from the heart, but mine beat out of my chest for a completely different reason. I glanced around Hayden again, and Carter looked directly at me. I jerked back in a panic.

  “Hey, I’m going back to watch it on the monitor.”

  Hayden nodded, and I took off. I held back to keep from running out the door, not wanting to draw attention from the people backstage. Bypassing the rooms behind the stage area, I went straight to the bus. I didn’t want our eventual reunion to take place in a room full of strangers. Over the years I’d played our reunion out in so many different ways in my mind, and an after party celebrating an engagement never appeared on my reel.

  The little oxygen I’d been holding in while I found a safe exit finally depleted, so when the cool night air hit my face, I sucked in a deep breath. For a brief minute, I didn’t think about the inevitable. It appeared our first face to face since we parted when I was seventeen would happen on the tour bus. At least there wouldn’t be a crowd of people. The group would only be his best friends. The idea of being stuck on that bus didn’t appeal to me, but I needed to pull up my big girl panties and face reality.

  My bottom bunk waited patiently for me to climb in as I took off my shoes and changed into yoga pants and a tank. This had become my nighttime attire on the bus since it was comfortable and covered enough for me to roam around the bus without feeling self-conscience.

  I laid on my back staring at the bottom of the top bunk. My mind replayed the vision of Carter standing onstage watching his friends get engaged. As I remembered the profile of his perfect face, memories of our time continued the loop in my head. Love and loss intertwined in it, and tears slid down my temples into my hair. My heart begged my head not to remember the good and the bad, but my head won out in the end. I closed my eyes and willed myself to forget and sleep, and that wasn’t easy.

  “Y’all gotta be quiet. My roommate’s already here sleeping. Shhh.” My sleep-fogged brain heard the whispered-yelled drunken voice of Hayden. Obviously, he had guests. I hadn’t considered he might come back with others, but I should have.

  Loud muffled laughter. “Tiptoe back to the bedroom. We can shut the damn door,” he told the laughing woman.

  Then a different male voice whispered. “Fuck, is it big enough for all of us?”

  “Hell yeah, it is. Besides, we don’t need that much room,” Hayden replied. The intoxicated group tried to cover their laughter with absolutely no success.

  “Wait, baby. You can strip me down when the door’s shut, not here in the hallway,” a female spoke.

  “Fuck yeah, but it’d be better if you stripped for me. I’d enjoy it even more if you went real slow and added some bump and grind to it,” the second male voice added. This earned him seductive sounding moans from the woman. No telling what he did to her to get that response.

  Great, two males and two females in the back of the damn bus. How long would I have to endure this? I pulled my noise-canceling headphones off the shelf beside me. I invested in them the first week we were on the bus knowing I would probably need them at some point. I scrolled through my phone until I found some sleep music. Ugh! This was going to be a long-ass night.

  The vibration of the wheels rolling down the highway slowly pulled me out of a dead sleep. I pulled the headphones off and peeked out the curtain beside me. The hall was empty and quiet which suited me fine. I didn’t have a clue who I would find riding on our bus today, but I knew who I preferred not to have on it.

  Even with the headphones, the sounds from the bedroom the night before left no doubt the kinds of activities taking place. Facing that group this morning would be awkward, at least for me. If they shared, like it appeared, they probably didn’t care what I saw or heard.

  I snuck to the side bathroom, used it, and brushed my teeth. I took the time to make my hair look halfway decent and made sure no leftover makeup from last night lingered on my face and eyes.

  Coffee stood out next on the agenda. I’d perfected making it while we rolled down the road by the second morning on the bus. I started the water heating and popped in a fresh K-Cup. While I waited for the blue light to turn on to close the lever, I leaned against the counter and checked Facebook. There might be some video of the engagement posted, and since I basically missed it running out the door, I wanted to watch one.

  The aroma of coffee dripping into my mug caught my attention just as I heard some sounds from the back. Hayden moved forward in his boxers which was about
the best I ever got from him in the mornings. Finding ourselves stuck together as roommates, we quickly learned intimate details about each other. He didn’t seem to have a problem sitting around in his underwear so why should I?

  I met his eyes over the top of my mug. “Want me to make you a cup?”

  “Please. I’d love you for it.” My first thought was he loved women for everything which made me smile as I turned to start.

  “Hey, I’m sorry if we woke you up last night. I know the girls were kinda loud.”

  I wanted to tear him a new one for it, but he looked too pathetic to start out bitching at him this early. His face had a green tint, and his hair stuck out in all directions. “It’s okay. I knew those headphones were a score when I bought them. They cut out pretty much all of the sounds.”

  I handed over the cup, and he blew across the hot beverage before taking a sip. “Good to know.”

  “Wait now. That’s not an invitation for wearing them every time I sleep. I could still hear, you know.” I gave him my best stink-eye.

  “I’m not sure we’re going to have final say now that we’re with AD.” He smiled as he said it. “Carter loves the ladies and they love him right back, sometimes all night long.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Great.” I wanted to add a lot more but kept it to myself. So Carter’s back there with two women. My nerves leaped up a notch on the anxiety scale. I inhaled my coffee and fixed another. Normally one cup would’ve satisfied my caffeine fix until later in the day, but it didn’t even come close today.

  I finally felt brave enough to ask a few questions I might not like the answers to, but oh well. “So, who else is on the bus with us today?”

  “Just Carter and Cash. We sent the women back to the venue in a cab. Neither of us likes to find them in our bed when we wake up. That won’t happen at all when Crew sleeps here.”

  “Good to know.” I looked at him thinking I might get more explanation.

  “You should know that Crew’s my first priority no matter what’s happening. I take advantage of my time when he’s not around, but I’ll never be an absentee father. I’m all he has.”

  “That’s not true. He has all of the band family.”

  “I know, but he doesn’t have another parent. Ryan and Tucker are his real cousins, but it’s not the same as having a mom and dad. His happiness and a stable life’s the most important thing in my life. If it comes down to it, I’ll quit touring before he’s hurt in any way.”

  I nodded in understanding. This big kid had his priorities pointed in the right direction to be a dad. So what if he’d had a night off, he knew right and wrong when it came to his son. I had to admire him for that. Many kids his age didn’t have what it took, especially on their own.

  “I’m glad to hear that, Hayden. You’re a good dad.”

  A little grin passed over his face as he leaned his head back on the couch closing his eyes. “Yeah, remember that when I do something stupid, please.”

  “Hey, they don’t come with an instruction manual. It’s more of a learn-as-you-go type thing.”

  “That’s for damn sure.”

  “So tonight’s our big night to open for Assured Distraction. Are we ready for this?” I watched his face to see if any nervousness surfaced.

  “Hell yeah, we’re ready. We were born ready, girl. You jumped on the ready train the minute you hit the stage on your own.” I wished I shared his confidence.

  “Good, keep telling me that. I’m freaking out over here, and you’re trying to stay awake.”

  “We’ll rock that fuckin stage. The audiences’ screams for AD will be epic.” He’d yet to raise his head off the couch, so his ego did the talking.

  “Glad you’re so sure of our abilities.”

  “Abso-fucking-lutely.” His sentences were getting shorter each time he spoke. I reached over and took the cup out of his hand when his eyes never reopened. For all of his morning bravado, he wasn’t awake enough to stay that way.

  Chapter Eleven

  I drank the rest of his coffee while I continued scrolling through my feed. I passed all of the fan pics when I finally came to a pretty good video of KeeMac on his knee. The two of them looked so in love. The part of the video that captured my attention happened to be the hot bass player in the background. Damn, I couldn’t believe how he’d changed into this man. My girlie bits woke up watching his easy motions as he moved around onstage. He and the drummer seemed to have an ongoing commentary as the two in front spoke words of love.

  I clicked the button on top and turned off the screen. I didn’t need to be lusting over the hot body I’d zoomed in on in a still shot. Enough of that. It would never happen again. We had our chance, and it didn’t play out. Time to move on.

  I pulled my guitar out at the foot of my bunk. Hayden and I were working on music like Cash asked us to, and I could get some private time to continue what we started. I hoped both guys would be happy I took the initiative. Hayden brought more to the table in this duo so I felt like I needed to up my game to prove my worth.

  With the score in front of me, I studied it a few minutes. I softly strummed a few chords when the bathroom door slammed, and the shower started blasting. So, either Cash or Carter finally woke up. I prayed for the former and continued trying to work on the music. It proved useless. All I could think about was Carter in that shower. Warm water gliding down his body over those pecs, dripping off those pierced nipples. Would he have deep cuts in his abs like the pictures sometimes showed? That said, watermarking a path through them on its way down to…

  “Shut the fuck up!” I said it out loud and woke Hayden.

  “What?” He jumped from the couch.

  “Oops, sorry. I was talking to myself.”

  He glared at me. “You always tell yourself to shut up, especially while you’re working?” He nodded to my guitar.

  “Yes, no. I don’t know.” I shrugged my shoulders about the same time we heard the water shut off which caused me to look in the direction of that door.

  “Who’s awake?” He looked at me.

  I lowered my head and stared at the strings on my guitar. “How should I know? I’m busy, remember?”

  I felt his stare continue, but I didn’t want to make eye contact with him.

  “Look, Victory. You had to meet the entire band sooner or later. They’re just men like the rest of us. Yeah, they’re rich and famous, but they put their pants on one leg at a time like us mere mortals do.” He laughed as he started making himself more coffee.

  The door popped open, and Cash walked out looking ready to meet the day. While we never dressed in more than necessary to be comfortable, Cash had on his business casual attire.

  Hayden studied him a second. “Where you going, dude? Last time I checked we were stuck on this bus most of the day.”

  “I’m going the same place you’re going, dumbass, because we ARE stuck on this bus all damn day.” He noticed the dripping coffee. “You making that for me?”

  “Hell no. I had a cup and some little shit coffee gremlin took it while I snoozed on the couch waiting for it to cool.” His eyes shot over to me.

  “Don’t look at me. I’ve been working like the boss asked.”

  “Kissing ass is not a good quality, Vic,” Hayden informed me with a smirk.

  “Speak for yourself, dipshit. Her work ethic leads me to believe she’s serious about the new music.”

  Hayden scratched his middle finger up the side of his face and then laughed. “You know I’m all about the new music but damn, I gotta wake up first.”

  I leaned over looking down at the paper again when I heard stomps coming up the hall. I wanted to turn and look but held back knowing my hair covered my face. How long could I put this off? When the door to the bathroom slammed shut, I looked around. The two men looked down the hall, too, then they both started laughing.

  “Yeah, it’s alive,” Cash said, then turned to me. “Rules to live by. Don’t speak until spoken to before noon. Don’t m
ake eye contact, if you value your life.”

  “And no sudden moves, unless you want something flying in your direction. Got it?” Hayden added to the list.

  I nodded at the two rule makers. Since when had he become so hard to wake up? Oh yeah, since he became famous. We were given a few more minutes of reprieve when the shower turned on again.

  “Good,” Hayden said. “At least he’ll be more awake when he gets out here to meet you.”

  “Oh yeah. I forgot you hadn’t met everyone in AD yet. You’re in for a treat with this one,” Cash spoke as he continued staring at his phone. He got up and moved to the table to open his laptop. “Guess I’ll get busy on some work so the two of you can get on with yours.”

  “Nope. Not starting until Carter’s had his first cola of the day.”

  I put my guitar down. “I suppose this means stop what I’m doing, huh? He drinks cola for breakfast?” I didn’t remember this about him. Of course, his mom would’ve had a fit if she’d seen him drink that first thing. As a health nut, she didn’t even like him drinking coffee.

  “Yeah, every single day,” Hayden informed me.

  “Does he have a stomach left?” I shook my head as I said it. “That shit’s really hard on your stomach.”

  “I’m pretty sure you’ve probably stalked him enough online to know what his stomach looks like, Victory. His abs are all over Instagram. We give him shit about it all the time.” Hayden looked at me when he spoke which was the wrong time. “Yep, if the color of your face and neck are any indication, I’d say you probably have a Pinterest board full of his abs and chest and probably his arms, too.” He had the nerve to laugh at me. “What else you got of Carter on that board, Vic? Since you’re glowing, I’ll bet you caught those naked shots that were leaked last year. You harboring a little fangirl crush on the bass player?”