by Thia Finn
Hayden held out a longneck in one hand and a bottle of Jack in the other. “Which is it going to be tonight?”
I grabbed the longneck and took the cap off. The ice cold beverage felt so damn good on my dry throat. “I want to talk before we get too drunk to say the right things or remember them.”
“Good idea. I thought maybe you would want something a little stronger depending on your frame of mind.”
“I’m good, dude. Good.” My dry throat appreciated another long drink. “Although, it might take a few six packs before the night’s done.” He picked up a six pack in each hand and made a motion with his head indicating for us to cut out of this party. I followed without question.
The back door to the venue opened to the cool night air, and we sat in the stairwell leading down to the parking lot. We could watch the roadies loading up the equipment while we talked and their noise filled in the gaps of silence that surely would occur.
After I finished two of the beers, I looked at Hayden. He still had that little boy look to his face. The kid had been dealt a shit hand so many times in his life. I knew he’d never admit having a baby at eighteen was part of that hand because the love he carried for Crew ran deep. That fucked situation only added to his worries early in life, but dammit if the kid didn’t handle it better than some adults did at thirty.
“Hayden, I need to tell you some shit and the first thing is I’m sorry for acting like a complete douchebag since I figured out the situation. This whole fucked-up mess has nothing to do with you.”
“You’re wrong, Carter. It has everything to do with me.”
“Let me finish, please.” He nodded his head. “I don’t know what Halo’s told you, but I loved that girl with everything I had. Leaving her behind about killed me. You don’t know how many times on the road I opened my phone to call her and tell her I was coming home. I would have begged her to forgive me if she would only take me back.
“The night before we ended it, I looked at her beautiful smile in the pics on my phone and knew I could destroy us in a heartbeat. Hell, she knew it, too. She told me so that night. If I did something to break her heart while on the road, it would end me. I swear to God, the hate created in me from that would never go away.
“The girl’s stronger than anyone will ever know. She stood up to me and told me to go. Told me the band and I deserved each other. I wanted to have another night with her, but she wouldn’t have it. So I ended it, cut the ties in one fast clean snip. I walked away and so did she. We never looked back that night.” I stopped talking and stared out in the direction of the buses in the parking lot waiting on us. One of them sheltered her from me. One of them would open its door tonight, and we would find ourselves thrown together for months.
“Dammit, Hayden. It’s gonna be a bitch dealing with each other in such close confines, but I’ll do it for you.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “And for her.”
Hayden’s eyes were on me when I finally opened mine. “Shit, dude. I don’t know what to say. I feel like a dick for asking this of you, but I need it, man. We need it. This is our big break, and we gotta jump in with both feet and make it stick. This tour could mean the big time for us. Do you know how many doors something like this opens for us? For me and Crew?”
“Oh fuck, don’t bring that boy in this. You know I love the little shit. That’s hitting below the belt.”
“Yeah, but if it plays out for us, then I can give him the life he deserves without Ryan and Peri providing it for him. I don’t want to mooch off of them the rest of his life.”
“You know they don’t think that about you two.”
“They might not, but I do. I need to give him his own home and maybe with his own mom.”
I remembered the conversation that brought me to my knees with the kid. I didn’t have to tell him anything about the talk we had. Hayden knew what he needed for the boy already.
“Okay, Hayden. I will give it my best shot. This isn’t gonna be easy. We have some shit to work through. You know that, right? Her hard head might be impossible to convince. She doesn’t always play nice, she can be a real iron ass about some things.”
“How well I know that already. When she makes up her mind something’s gonna be a certain way, there’s no changing it.”
“Shit, I can tell you some stories. Our year together had some major road bumps, but we always made it over, sometimes we’d both would be kicking and screaming, though.”
We finished off the beer with me telling him stories of the stupid stuff we got into. It felt good to tell them. I remembered why I loved her hard the first time around. Now we needed to be friends. I prayed the two of us could pull it off. People I cared about counted on us.
Chapter Sixteen
I walked back to the bus with a security guard I didn’t know. It didn’t matter much since no one knew me anyway. Hayden’s fans populated the audience from the last time he toured with AD. The exposure made me feel special when we took the stage and people applauded, screamed, and yelled, but I knew the truth about who they aimed their praises at.
Hayden knew it, too, but never once failed to include my name when speaking to them. He always introduced us as a team. At twenty-three, he worked an audience like a pro which helped me because performing for those huge audiences upped my fright factor to the top of the chart.
As soon as our set finished, I took off for the bus. The less opportunity I had of running into Carter, the longer I might stay on the tour. I’d never choose to leave because I owed it to Hayden and Cash, but every day the thought drifted through my mind.
The empty bus made me miss home. It seemed like someone always hung around the house to greet me or asked how the show went. Climbing the stairs to a deserted bus gave me a hollow feeling that I would never get used to. Can I live like this for several more months? Was the energy I put into doing the best job I had in me worth the loneliness?
Sure, the others went out of their way to make me feel included, but the one person I needed the approval from couldn’t care less. And why? Why did I need Carter’s approval for anything? He’s the villain in all of this, not me. He hated me being here which boggled my mind. We didn’t part on bad terms, really. He needed to leave, and I let him go. I never begged him to stay or take me with him, at least not too much. So what pissed him off so much? I wasn’t here to make demands on him. Hell, I had hardly even seen him. Plenty of space in this entourage could keep us permanently apart.
The bus door opened and Chandler and KeeMac stepped up the stairs.
“Hey, Halo. We wondered where you’d run off to,” Chandler told me as she plopped down on the couch by me. “Damn, I’m tired. I guess I forgot how much the heat could drain me. Then pile on the meet and greet, and it wipes me out.”
“We did a couple of meet and greets after our shows. Nothing big, but they were fun. Hayden’s fun to watch as he schmoozes around the room. Of course, his objective and mine were not the same.” Chandler gave me a hug letting me know she understood exactly what I meant.
KeeMac leaned into the fridge. “The boy learned from the best. Between Gunner and Carter, the exposure to fun and games started early.” He looked back over his shoulder at me. I suppose he wanted to judge my reaction to the comment since Carter’s escapades were included in that.
“It’s okay, KeeMac. I know he’s been enjoying all the perks of the road since the band took off from Austin. It doesn’t bother me for y’all to talk about him. I don’t want anyone feeling like they need to walk around monitoring everything they say. I’m a big girl like that.” I gave him my best smirk.
He stood with a beer and laughed. “Good to know, Halo. I’m not sure we’re capable of that anyway.
“No, you’re not,” Chandler added. “All of you say exactly what’s on your mind because there’s no filter where this group of guys is concerned.” She rolled her head in my direction. “So be ready for it. They do and say whatever comes to mind, sometimes it’s filthy, sometime
s it’s vulgar, and sometimes it’s just plain gross. I had a rude awakening when I joined the band.”
“Babe, you know you loved it. It was our way of showing how much we were willing to accept little miss innocent into the cool kids’ club. Chan here was the epitome of a virgin on every level, Halo, but we made it our personal goal to corrupt her at all costs.” He laughed as he said it, but I felt like he told the truth. “We treated her like one of the guys from the get go, and she loved us for it.”
“Some more than others,” Chandler added.
“That’s right, babe, but not some, just me.” He sat beside her and pulled her against him.
These two were seriously in love. The way they treated each other and the ease in their shared affection made it so obvious. Must be nice, I thought to myself.
“Oh, I forgot to congratulate the two of you on your engagement. Will it be a long one or are there wedding bells in the near future?”
“We haven’t decided yet. We have so many people and dates to coordinate a wedding with. It’s going to be hard with my dad always on the go, too.” She turned to KeeMac. “I have grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins to also consider.”
The sparkle in her eyes told me she planned to have them all in attendance. When the story of her locating her real family after the death of her parents came out, it made all of the tabloids so I wondered what the real story had to be.
“Babe, maybe we could rent an island and fly everyone there. We could charter a plane and get everyone there at once.”
“Not going to happen. If that plane went down, I would lose all my family at once. Nope, I’ll never agree to one plane, but we could have it on an island that people could fly in from separate places, and we rent out a whole resort or something. That’s a good idea, Keeton. Let’s do it. Now we only need a date. I’ll talk to Peri. She’ll know how to get that coordinated with everyone’s schedule.” Chandler jumped up from the couch and started pacing up and down the aisle in front of KeeMac and me.
“Oh, God. Activate your safety shield, Halo, I think bridezilla just kicked in.” That earned him a look from his fiancé, and I laughed at the two of them. What a ride that crazy train would be. “Babe, sit down. You’re exhausted and wedding plans can wait until morning at least.
“You’re right.” Chandler fell back down between us. “I’m tired.” She glared at him. “If you wouldn’t come offstage ready to tear my clothes off every time, I might not be worn out.”
“Babe, really? Don’t even try to put all the blame on me. You know you are just as hot for me as I am for you. It’s our thing, Chan. We get worked up onstage, and we work it out offstage. Do you know how many times I’ve left the stage with a stiffy? It would be embarrassing if the audience only knew.”
“What?” I needed to add to this conversation. “Do you honestly think you hide that from the audience, especially down front? Dude, those women in the audience leave the show with lady boners every single time.”
Chandler shocked me when she reached over and grabbed his dick over his jeans. “Yeah, BABE, you just have a hard time keeping it in your pants.” The tone of her comment and the word ‘babe’ made me think she didn’t like the idea of other women lusting after him. She should be used to that by now.
“Does it bother you that women are like that, Chandler?” I honestly wanted to know.
“Nah. It used to in the beginning. I thought he did all that thrusting and dry humping the mic stand to upset me, but then I saw how much the women loved it. I knew he did it to get them excited and coming back show after show. AND, I’m the only one he’s doing that naked with, so I’m good.”
“Wait now. You learned the trick, too.” KeeMac looked around Chandler to see me. “Don’t think she doesn’t do it to drive the men wild. After Peri and Camille got a hold of her and dolled her up for the stage, she drove the guys in the audience wild. I think our ticket sales with men shot up overnight from her stage presence. Hell, we had to start making a t-shirt with Chandler being front and center by demand. They stayed sold out for the first year.”
“What an ego boost for you, Chandler.” Not that the information surprised me, but it did make me wonder if Hayden and I would ever have this kind of success together.
KeeMac came off the couch and looked right at me. “Hey, did Cash talk to you and Hayden about this? He needs to schedule a photo shoot with the two of you so you can have merch for sale, too. It’s one of the best ways to get your name and face out there. You could actually do some t-shirt gun shots into the audiences before the auditorium gets too crowded. When fans hear about that happening, some will come in sooner to get free shit.” It was his turn to pace up and down.
I looked over at Chandler and raised my eyebrows in question.
“Don’t worry about him. He gets like this when he starts thinking about marketing. I do believe some university should give him an honorary degree in it. He knows more about marketing than most kids do when they graduate.”
“Yeah, yeah. We should be marketing your stuff along with ours. Of course, y’alls won’t sell as fast as ours but when they see it’s there to buy, a lot will be snatched up.” He started spouting all of this business stuff, and I tuned out. That wasn’t my thing, but I would mention it to Hayden when I could.
“We need to get some EP’s made too. They can be the unplugged music recorded. Has Cash talked to y’all about doing an EP to get it in the fan’s hands?” I shook my head but honestly, I didn’t know if he did or not.
“We need to ask Hayden all of these questions. You lost me at merch.” I smiled up at him.
“Girl, we are going to get Hayden and Victory out there. Or should it be Hayden and Halo? I’m kinda liking that name. Or what about only Halo Hayden or Hayden’s Halo? That could be the band name. You could still use Victory as your name that way.”
My face must have given Chandler a clue to how lost I was because she leaned over and whispered, “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. He’ll talk to Cash and Hayden. Let them worry about it. I leave the marketing stuff to him and Peri. They both are geniuses with it. I’d rather write music than worry about selling it.”
“Me, too. Writing music is so much more fun and rewarding,” I whispered back. KeeMac pulled out his phone and pulled up an app, then started talking into it. Guess he grew bored trying to make Chandler and me listen. She saw it, too, and laughed.
“Good. Let him and his phone have a talk so you and I can talk about more important things.”
“Like what?”
“Like you. Tell me about yourself. I don’t know you at all, and I want to.”
“Oh, I’m not all that interesting.”
“Girl, I know you’re from the Austin area. I know you have some stories.” She didn’t let me escape her questioning so easily.
“I grew up in Dripping Springs really. Went to school there. Started dating Carter when we were at the end of our sophomore and junior years. He left after graduation, and that’s about it.”
“No, that’s about the end of your story with him. Tell me the rest of your story. When did you start playing and composing music?”
We spent the next hour talking about our lives. Getting to know Chandler made me feel closer to her. KeeMac ended up leaving to catch up with Cash and Peri. His excitement over all of his ideas helped him find a second wind. Chandler and I killed two bottles of wine and were toast when he came back to the bus.
He had an intoxicated Carter and Hayden with him when he returned, though. They boarded the bus with KeeMac’s help as he pushed them both on, one at a time. One look at Carter, and I knew it was time for me to head to my bunk. I planned to be asleep before he got there, but it went by the wayside with KeeMac and Chandler’s appearance.
The men laughed at something KeeMac said behind them, but when they turned and saw us sitting on the couch, all laughter stopped. Right, my cue to head to bed.
“Oh, Halo. Don’t leave now. The party’s finally arrived.” Hayden man
aged to sound sober, but the smile on his face told a different story.
“I’m tired Hayden. Chandler and I had a little wine so I’m ready to sleep.”
KeeMac picked up the two empty bottles and shook them. “A little wine? This equates to a massive hangover for my girl.”
“And some drunk sex, Kee.” With those words, she jumped into his arms and wrapped around him. “Come on, babe. I’ll let you do some kinky things to me.” She tried to whisper it, but everyone of us heard, and that made Keeton laugh.
He looked around at the three of us. “Duty calls, people, and I’m never one to shirk my duties when they involve kinky sex with my little love muffin, provided she doesn’t fall asleep on me.”
We all laughed at his comment. She left wet kisses all over his face and neck so I doubted that would be the case. “We’ll be taking the bedroom. There better be clean sheets.”
“Yeah, yeah. The cleaners came in today. It’s all good,” Hayden told the two lovers.
“Perfect,” he headed down the aisle. “I’ll lock the door in case any of you dickwads get any bright ideas.”
All we could do is stare at them as the door slammed, and the lock clicked. An awkward moment happened with the three of us standing there looking in the same direction. Thank God Hayden broke the silence.
“Another beer, Carter?”
“Sure, why not?” He flopped down in the chair across from the couch. I remembered that I volunteered to go to bed and started that direction when Carter grabbed my hand.
“Don’t leave. Have a beer with us.”
My skeptical look made him continue. “Just one. Come on.”
I glanced at Hayden. Was this the same guy who left here yelling about me this morning?
“Yeah, Halo. Just one,” Hayden pleaded. Even drunk I could tell he needed me to be here so I sat back down.
“Okay, but only one. I drank a lot of wine tonight. I don’t know about adding beer on top of it. I’m not fond of saluting the porcelain god, you know.”