Distracted No More

by Thia Finn

“That’s right,” Tucker added. “Rectiles. We looked ‘em up on the internet with my mom, and she read to us about ‘em. Some are animals and some are rectiles.”

  “The two of you are so smart. I think maybe I better start studying these things so I can be as smart as y’all.”

  “We could show you, but we can’t look at internet without mom or dad,” Tuck added. “It’s off limits.”

  “Yeah, off limits,” Crew repeated. Obviously, they had been taught the term for meaning no.

  “Do you know where my daddy is?” Crew continued.

  “No, baby. I don’t.” He gave me a strange look and leaned over to tell me a secret.

  “I’m not a baby anymore, Miss Halo. I’m a little man. My daddy told me no more baby for me when he took away my pull-ups. I had to be a little man when I started wearing underwear like his. Only mine has Spiderman and Superman on them.”

  “Oh, so daddy doesn’t like superhero undies?” I restrained myself to keep from having a good laugh at this information.

  “No, he said daddies can’t wear superheroes or people would think he was a superhero, and he’s just a daddy, and the only person he can save is me.”

  “That’s a big mouthful of words there, buddy. Can I call you buddy instead?” He smiled at me.

  “Yeah, I can be a buddy, just not a baby. Tucker’s not a baby either ‘cause his mommy took his pull-ups away, too.”

  Tucker nodded his head and then spoke. “That’s okay, though, ‘cause now we get to take a whiz on the grass when we are home.”

  “Tucker, not supposed to say that to girls. You know what your dad said,” Crew admonished his little friend.

  “Oops. I forgot. Not supposed to tell girls we pee in the grass.” He got close and whispered, “Don’t tell.”

  I nodded my head. The door to the RV opened, and Hayden came in and picked up Crew hugging him close.

  “Daddy, where you been? You said you’d build a fort to protect men from dinosaurs today.”

  “I know, little man. I know. I messed up, didn’t I? We can do it now though because it looks like you haven’t finished yet.”

  “That’s okay, Daddy. We started but needed you to make it perfect.”

  The father/son bond between them touched my heart. His ability to take on a child at eighteen and be the daddy he needed to be made me understand how seriously he took this job. Well, usually. He still wanted to be a man, too. I also saw how tight they all were within this family. While Crew didn’t have a mom, he had a house full of people who loved him so he never felt left out.

  I wanted to quiz Hayden about last night. When he finally looked me in the eyes, I knew things must have been bad. The red road maps around his irises told a story of exhaustion and being hungover. Now he needed to man up and be a daddy before going to work onstage. Life on the road could prove to be too much for him with Crew in the end.

  “I think I’ll head back over to our bus and see what time we’re supposed to be at sound check.”

  Hayden spoke up. “Uh, Peri said Cash will be there today, too. He’s flying in right now.”

  “She mentioned that before she left here. Will he be here for the show?”

  “I assume so. We may be flying back with him, too.”

  “Really? She didn’t mention that.” He caught the surprise in my voice.

  “Maybe not. Gotta wait to see what Cash says.”

  I got the feeling we were talking about last night’s fiasco instead of our performance. We were only going to be on the road with AD for part of their tour. This could be our last time to open for them. We’re doing great on the road and our music downloads have exploded since we left. Maybe Cash wanted us back in the studio.

  “Okay, well. I’ll see you in a few.” I wanted to get back to the bus and see what Carter had to say.

  I climbed up the steps, but no one greeted me. Hmm. Odd. Where were they? I went back to my bunk and started looking at the clothes I planned to wear tonight onstage. I wanted to look good tonight since it might be our last.

  A car stopped out front, and I moved up to look out the huge windshield. Carter, Peri, and Cash got out of the vehicle and none of them looked too happy. Maybe I’d wait to ask any questions if I ever got a chance.

  Before Carter climbed on, he looked directly at me. I recognized the bloodshot look. He’d been drinking heavily last night. He opened his mouth and drew in a breath like he was going to speak and then shook his head and got on. I watched him walk past me and down the aisle still hoping for something from him, but instead he climbed into his bunk and shut the curtain. He never said a word to me, but I’d seen the look before. Guilt. What could he have done to look guilty? Did he have sex with another woman? Why should he feel guilty? He didn’t owe me anything.

  I moved off the bus with my guitar. Cash and Peri were talking but stopped when they saw me. I nodded at Cash, put my head down, and walked toward the stage area. I passed it and went out into the beauty of the amphitheater. I’d never seen anything like it before. Chandler told me they’d played here when she first joined in the band. The natural beauty and the enormity of the rock formations took my breath away.

  I climbed about halfway up the seating area to the middle before I took a seat. A strange feeling clawed at the back of my mind, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. I’d done nothing wrong so why did I feel like things balanced on a cliff, ready to fall?

  Cash appeared at the bottom close to the stage. “Oh, Halo. I wanted to talk to you.”

  He moved up the seating rows and sat next to me and looked out at the view. “This place is something else, huh?”

  “Yeah. I’ve never seen anything like it. I feel small sitting here.”

  “This is one place that some bands think if they play it, they’ve made it. Kinda like playing the Garden if you’re a New Yorker.”

  I laughed. Madison Square Garden, as if I’d ever get to play that place. “So is there something going on I need to know about?”

  “Yes, there is. After this show, you, Hayden, and I are going home. Crew and the nanny are coming, too.”

  “Is there a problem?” My face reflected my feelings.

  “No, nothing’s wrong. You knew this test run wouldn’t last, and we’ve decided to get you two in the studio to record an EP for release while the fire’s hot. The label feels like that time’s now, so y’all are going to record. Y’all been working on songs?”

  “Yeah, we have. We’ve at least four that we both feel you’re going to love.”

  “Just what I’d hoped to hear.”

  “Why didn’t you ask Hayden?” I asked him.

  “We sent him back to get him out of the situation. Negative press isn’t what the two of you need right now.”

  “Yeah, okay.” I didn’t know how to respond but felt sure he and Peri knew the best thing for us.

  “Carter can take the heat this time. His reputation proceeds him and people understand him getting into stupid shit. You and Hayden, not so much. We’d like to keep y’all away from anything that casts a shadow over you before the first CD drops.”

  “Sounds good. Are we playing tonight?” I probably wouldn’t even see Carter again before we left. I supposed it’d be better this way.

  “Yeah, we’ll leave as soon as you’re done. I’m anxious to hear your music in this venue.”

  “Me, too.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  I knew before they came the police wouldn’t be able to do anything. I couldn’t remember much and barely saw the women before we started drinking in the cab. Our security men should have gone with us, and this wouldn’t have happened. Bad planning on our part to send them home when we left.

  Peri handed me a bottle of ibuprofen and a water. If the damn floor would stop spinning, I might be able to actually think, dammit.

  “So, Mr. Sheridan, do you remember their names?” the cop spoke loudly.

  “No.”

  “Do you remember what they were wearing?” He l
ooked over the top of the notepad.

  “Uh, dresses. I think.” Shit. This was bad.

  “Did you get their phone numbers?”

  “No, and even if I did, I wouldn’t know it since they took our phones.”

  “True.” His radio keyed up from another person.

  “Yeah, go ahead,” he spoke into the mic attached at his shoulder.

  “The hotel found your phones in the garbage cans out front. Guess they figured out they couldn’t get into them and ditched them. Probably won’t get any prints from them, though, but we’ll dust to see.”

  “Good. Thanks.” He turned to me. “Your lucky day, Mr. Sheridan. Seems the phones reappeared.”

  “Great.” My enthusiasm lacked inspiration.

  “If we find any prints that are usable, we might get somewhere, but if they’re smudged from being in the bottom of the heap, we’re pretty much done on leads.”

  “What about all the cameras in the place?” Peri asked.

  “That’s going to take some time to run through the tapes, but the hotel’s security is looking into it now. The worker on duty gave us the time of check-in so that helped.”

  “Wonderful. Thank you, officer. We’ll be looking forward to hearing from you about any progress. When can we expect the phones to be returned?” Peri’s official voice made the cop take notice.

  “Probably never unless we catch them quickly. They will be evidence and until this is solved, they’ll stay locked up.”

  Peri turned to me. “When’s the last time you backed up your phone?”

  “No clue.” I shrugged my shoulders.

  “Okay. So we’ll get a new one today, and they can transfer your data.”

  Ryan sat down next to me on the couch and spoke quietly, “You can kiss your data goodbye. I hope Hayden backed his up more recently than you did so he won’t lose all of Crew’s pictures.”

  “Yeah, me too.” I didn’t care about that phone. I’d replace it, but Crew’s pictures couldn’t be which made me feel like shit all over again, but this problem was all on Hayden. He found the women. I was along for the ride.

  “Okay, Ms. O’Connor. We’ll let y’all get back to work. The department will be in contact if anything else is needed.”

  “Thank you, officer.” She shut the door behind him.

  “What the fuck, Carter?” she rounded on me.

  “Hey, I was just following Hayden’s lead. He found ‘em. He said let’s do it, and I went with him. At least I didn’t let him go alone with those two.” What I wanted to say was I’d have rather been with Halo but held back.

  “You should have known better than to drink something like that. You’re a grown man acting like a damn kid.”

  “Hey, the last time I looked, he’s a grown-ass man, too. Why am I getting all of the blame?”

  “Because you know the rules. He’s still learning them.” Peri’s face turned red, but she stopped talking. Then it turned a sickly shade of green, and she sprinted to the bathroom with Ryan on her heels. We all knew this routine. She landed in the ER the last time.

  I heard Ryan consoling her as she lost all her lunch to the porcelain god. Not a sound my head or stomach wanted to hear right then unless I felt like joining her.

  They walked out and Peri’s look said all I needed to know. I walked to the door and held it open for her.

  Halo looked at me through the glass of the RV. I couldn’t talk to her right then, even when she stood at the doorway looking down at me. My head hurt, my stomach rolled over and over, and my conscience wanted to explode. I climbed the bus steps and never looked back.

  I couldn’t do it. The very thing I tried to avoid years ago had come back to bite me in the ass. I never wanted to hurt her. She’s too perfect for me in this business. I needed to let her go on with her life without me in it. Even though I fell asleep, my head and stomach didn’t let me settle down.

  Someone shook me.

  “What?”

  “Get up asshole. It’s time to go to the venue.”

  I rolled toward the voice I recognized instantly. “When did you get back?”

  “A little while ago. I put Lola on the plane and came here.” He leaned against the opposite bunk.

  “I guess y’all had a perfect conjugal visit, huh?”

  “You might say that.” His smirk said it all. Gunner’s entire way of looking at life evolved after he and Lola made a commitment to each other. At first, I hated her for it, but his happiness made him a new man so I got over my jealousy. He deserved to be happy.

  Maybe I didn’t deserve it.

  Hayden and Halo were ready to go onstage when we walked to the wings. The audience’s noise poured through the area where we stood, so we knew the time was close when security opened the doors to go through. I’d have to face her sooner or later, so it might as well be now.

  The two stood just off stage waiting for introductions. They talked and laughed with some roadies. One reached out and brushed the hair over her shoulder. I knew that look on his face. Dammit, I found myself ready to tear into the dude, but what right did I have to go all caveman on him? Yeah, dumbass, none.

  Halo turned when he looked over her shoulder toward Gunner and me. I did a head tip but didn’t move any closer. I didn’t need to interfere with her life any more than I had. If she wanted to get with this guy, she didn’t need my permission. Our dressing rooms were around a corner, so I took off. I felt her eyes follow me until I was out of sight. Man, I was so fucked.

  The music coming from the stage filtered in, and it sounded fantastic. A perfect but unique tone to Halo and Hayden settled over everyone who heard them. Cash knew what he was doing. He always did when it came to talent and once again, he found it with those two. They would make their mark in the world just like Assured Distraction did.

  Our band’s established name held its own in the rock world. The success we wanted materialized and made us famous. It wasn’t overnight and neither would theirs be, but it’d happen. I needed to let her have her time in the spotlight without me dragging her down.

  “Those wheels in your head probably need more oil in them if you’re going to continue thinking that hard,” Gunner landed beside me on the leather couch.

  “Yeah probably. All the alcohol rusted them.” I laughed. “I was thinking about how we’ve made it, and now it’s Hayden and Halo’s turn.”

  “Yeah, they’ll be touring on their own when their album’s done.”

  “I guess they’ll be back in the studio when this tour’s over?”

  “No, Cash’s taking them back with him tonight on the jet. They’re done with this tour. The label wants them to cut a CD now.”

  “What?” I faced him to see if he was fucking with me.

  “Yeah. Hayden told me before they went on they’re leaving tonight. He wasn’t too happy because of Crew and the nanny. He didn’t like dragging Crew out of bed to get on the plane, especially flying commercial since we’ll need the jet. Cash needs to get back quickly for some reason.”

  “Shit.” I looked away. I’d never get a chance to talk to her before she left.

  “Is that a problem for him to wake Crew up?” Gunner didn’t follow my crazy train in my mind.

  “No, but it’s a problem not being able to talk to Halo before she leaves.”

  “Dude, you knew this was coming, and you knew better than to get involved with her again.”

  “Dammit, I know, but it happened anyway. I didn’t initiate it either. She jumped me first but then backed away. Now, I’ve fucked up, as usual, and she’s leaving to go home.”

  “Yeah. You probably won’t get a third chance.”

  “Maybe I don’t deserve a third chance.” I got up and headed to the wings to watch her sing. It could be my last time ever.

  “Thank you, Denver. Good fucking night.” KeeMac ended our final encore. “We’ll see y’all soon.” We walked off the stage waving, throwing picks and drumsticks to the audience as we handed off our guitars to the tech
s who cared for their packing.

  The after party going on tonight had people already in the room. For a small party, people were everywhere. They always got bigger fast when the fans wearing passes poured in following a check by security.

  “Looks like another long night to me,” Gunner said as he walked ahead of me through the door.

  “Is this getting old to you?” I raised an eyebrow. He used to love a party like this.

  “Hell yeah, it is. I’d rather spend my time with Lola any day.” He caught my eyes darting around the room while he spoke. “Dude, I told you she’d be gone.”

  “I know, but I hoped you’d be wrong.”

  “Me? Wrong? Asshat, have I ever steered you wrong with info?” He laughed loudly making smile.

  “Yeah, about a million times that I can count. Probably a million more I can’t.” We both grabbed a beer and tipped the necks in a toast to another great show.

  KeeMac and Chan finally strolled in as we signed autographs and took pictures with the fans. Peri lined up some quick PR after the incident with the crazies in the hotel. When KeeMac sat down and pulled Chandler in his lap, he looked down the row at the rest of us.

  “Y’all chat ‘em up for us?” he asked.

  “Hell yeah, we did since we never know how long the two of you are gonna go at it in a dark corner.” Ryan wiggled his eyebrows.

  “Right, babe?” He kissed her until she was breathless causing the crowd to clap and make suggestive comments. “We tried to be quick tonight. I promised her better since the back room will be empty.” The smirk never fading. “Hey, will you please change the sheets before we get there?”

  “Da fuck? We changed them after y’all. I think it’s your turn.” I couldn’t resist giving it right back to him.

  “Yeah, yeah. The good news is we’ll get the room the rest of the tour. The bad news is you get the bunks and no girl!” He and Chandler both laughed at that. I didn’t find it funny at all.

  “That sucks balls, you know?”

  “Oh, there’ll be some ball sucking going on. Don’t worry.” The whole group laughed and signed CDs, shirts, and tits flashed at us. What a strange life we’d come to think of as normal.