Too Much of a Good Thing

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  Mariah felt her stomach stirring. This was definitely a first. Curtis coming home on any day of the week and not wanting to make love to her? She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but decided against it because she didn’t want to sound suspicious. Maybe he didn’t want her because he was tired of begging for oral sex. He’d said he couldn’t be responsible for what might happen if he didn’t get what he needed, and that’s why she’d done the best she could yesterday afternoon. But she knew with everything inside her that she hadn’t satisfied him. He’d told her it was good, but his facial expression screamed another story. She wanted to get better at it and was willing to practice until she was perfect.

  When they entered the master bedroom suite, Mariah pulled him toward her and kissed him. They kissed until Curtis pulled away and began removing his clothing. But Mariah wasn’t giving up so easily. She wasn’t about to let him drop off to sleep before giving him what he swore he needed.

  “Sweetheart, let me do something special for you.”

  “Mariah, honey. I’m really, really tired. But I promise you we’ll make love tomorrow.”

  She heard every word he said, but ignored his wishes. She slid his underwear down to the floor and rested her weight on her knees. Curtis watched her but didn’t move. Mariah massaged him and then took him inside her mouth. She tried to pleasure him the exact same way she’d seen some woman pleasure her husband on one of the pay channels. She’d been flipping through them just before calling Vivian and decided to see how this was supposed to be done. She still thought it was unnatural and deplored it, but believed it was her duty to keep Curtis happy.

  Mariah hoped she was doing it right this time, and when she saw Curtis’s eyes roll toward the back of his head, she knew she was on track. She would only get better as time went on, and then he wouldn’t have a single thing to complain about. There would be no reason at all why he’d ever consider going astray. She realized that Vivian was right. There wasn’t anything at all she should be worrying about when it came to Curtis.

  Chapter 4

  Alicia packed her overnight bag and wished she could spend the weekend with her father without his new wife. Mariah was a nice enough woman, but Alicia longed for the time she and her father used to spend alone. Even more, she wanted her father and mother to tell their current spouses that things just weren’t working out, and that they’d decided to remarry. Then maybe Alicia and her parents could finally get back to the happily-ever-after they once lived. But she knew it was all wishful thinking because her mother couldn’t have been happier with James and her father seemed to be fairly happy with Mariah.

  “Alicia, are you ready?” she heard her mother ask.

  “Yes, Mom, I’m coming.”

  “We need to get going because I told Mariah that I’d have you over there in time for dinner.”

  Alicia showed no concern but gathered up her bag and portable CD player. When she went downstairs, she saw her stepfather smiling at her.

  “Have a good time, pumpkin,” James said.

  “I’ll try,” she said, forcing a positive attitude.

  As Tanya and Alicia drove out of the subdivision, Alicia noticed her best friend getting in the car with her parents and waved at them.

  “How come you and Daddy couldn’t be as happy as Danielle’s parents?”

  “Every marriage doesn’t work out that way.”

  “Well, why did you and Daddy get married if you weren’t going to stay together?”

  “Now, Alicia, we’ve been through this over and over again for the last five years,” Tanya explained. “You know the reason why your father and I ended up getting a divorce.”

  “Oh yeah, I forgot. Daddy slept with practically every woman at the church.”

  “Alicia! You know that’s not true.”

  “It might as well be, because what difference does it make if he slept with three women or three hundred. Either way, he was wrong and he broke up our family.”

  “But he’s still your father, and it’s time for you to try and forgive him. We’ve both moved on with our lives, and while I know it’s been very difficult for you, you’re going to have to accept it.”

  “I have forgiven him. And everything was just fine until he had to go and marry Mariah. It’s just not fair.”

  “I understand how you feel, but Mariah is his wife. And I want you to start giving her much more respect than you have been.”

  Alicia turned to look at her mother. “Who said I don’t give her respect?”

  “Your father told me that you never hold a decent conversation with her and that most of the time you only answer questions.”

  Alicia wished her father would spend more time being a better father and less time reporting what she was or wasn’t doing.

  He made her so sick sometimes. It was bad enough that he’d ruined her life when she was nine and now he was trying to do the same thing at fourteen. She was practically grown, and she wondered when he was going to stop treating her like a baby. She wondered when both he and her mother were going to realize that she had her own life to live and that they should simply worry about themselves.

  “Why should I talk to her when I really don’t know who she is?”

  Tanya turned onto Curtis’s street. “But that’s how you could get to know her. If you don’t talk to people, how do you ever expect to build a relationship with them?”

  Hmmph, Alicia thought. What her mother didn’t know was that she didn’t want a relationship with her father’s wife. What she wanted was for Mariah to move out of the way or, better yet, go back to wherever she came from.

  Alicia didn’t respond to her mother’s latest comment, and before long Tanya pulled up the circle driveway and stopped in front of her ex-husband’s new living quarters. The off-white stucco was gorgeous and the landscaping was immaculate.

  Alicia noticed her mother admiring the house. “Don’t you wish this was your home instead of Mariah’s? I mean, look at it, Mom. It’s even bigger than the one we used to live in.”

  “No, Alicia. I don’t wish this was my house. I’m very happy with the house that James and I have, and I’m very happy for your father and Mariah.”

  “But why? I mean, how can you be happy for a man who treated you like Daddy did?”

  “Look, Alicia. That’s enough. And instead of discussing grown folks’ business, I think you need to spend your time worrying about that failing progress report you brought home yesterday.”

  Alicia sighed strongly. “Bye,” she said, stepping onto the pavement.

  “You’d better get rid of that little attitude, Alicia,” Tanya yelled.

  Alicia glanced back at her mother and then slammed the door behind her.

  Tanya got out of the vehicle and followed Alicia. “Girl, have you lost your natural mind? You must think I’m a kid or somethin’.”

  Mariah opened the door. “Hi, Alicia. Hi, Tanya.”

  “How are you, Mariah?” Tanya asked.

  “I’m fine. Do you want to come in for a few minutes?”

  “No, I really have to get going. And, Alicia, you’d better straighten up that face of yours.”

  Alicia kept pouting.

  “What’s going on?” Curtis asked, walking toward them.

  “Nothing,” Alicia answered nonchalantly.

  “Curtis, you had better have a long talk with your daughter, otherwise she’s going to see a side of me she’s never seen before,” Tanya said. “This attitude of hers has got to go, because I’m not about to keep putting up with her smart little mouth. And before I forget, I think you should know that she brought home a failing progress report from world history yesterday.”

  “Alicia? Failing a class?” Curtis commented.

  “Yes, and something has got to be done about it,” Tanya said, turning to walk back to her car. “Oh, and, Mariah, it was good seeing you again.”

  “You too, Tanya.”

  Mariah closed the door, and Tanya drove off.

  “Alicia, wh
at is this all about?” Curtis asked.

  “Nothing,” she repeated.

  “Well, it must be something, because gifted students who have always gotten straight A’s don’t bring home failing progress reports.”

  Alicia gazed into thin air and wished they would all drop dead. Or maybe it would be better if she died herself. She was so tired of them telling her what she needed to do and sick of them harassing her.

  “Girl, do you hear me talking to you?” Curtis said.

  “Yes.”

  “Then you’d better act like it. Now I’m going to ask you again. What is this all about?”

  “It’s about you and the way you broke up our family. It’s about you and how you slept with Deacon Jackson’s wife behind Mom’s back. It’s about that girl Charlotte that you got pregnant. And it’s also about you getting married and not spending any real time with me. That’s what this is all about, Daddy. It’s all about you,” she screamed, with tears flooding her face.

  Mariah was speechless.

  Curtis had no sympathy.

  “Alicia, what I want you to do is go up to your room and stay there until I tell you to come out.”

  Alicia stormed upstairs and slammed her bedroom door. She heard her father and Mariah conversing and wished she hadn’t even come for this visit. She hated all of them. Her father, Mariah, and even her mother at this particular moment. This was her first year in high school, and they were doing everything they could to ruin it. So what if she had brought home a less than average progress report? It was the first time ever, and it certainly didn’t compare to all the horrible things her father had done. That was for sure. So why couldn’t they just mind their own business and leave her alone? It wasn’t like they really cared about her, anyway. She didn’t have one person she could turn to, and she was starting to wonder more and more why she even hung around. Maybe they would all be happier if she disappeared. Maybe then they’d realize what terrible parents they were and that her unhappiness was all their fault.

  She lay across her bed, crying silently. She wished she could be nine again. That way, she would stop her father from ever cheating on her mother. That way, the three of them would be together again and she could continue being the happiest little girl in the world.

  “Curtis, who is Charlotte?” Mariah asked.

  “Baby, sit down,” he said, barely looking at her.

  “And what’s this about you getting her pregnant?”

  “She was a girl who attended Faith when I was pastor over there, and as wrong as it was, I had an affair with her.”

  “You what! How old was she?”

  “She was seventeen when I started seeing her.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you had another child, Curtis?”

  “Because I just didn’t know how. I was afraid that you wouldn’t marry me if you knew. But now I know that I had no right keeping this from you.”

  “Have you seen her since she had the baby?”

  “No. I haven’t.”

  “Is it a boy or girl?”

  “It’s a boy.”

  “Well, why haven’t you seen him?”

  “Because her parents said that if I ever came near her or the baby, they would press statutory rape charges against me.”

  “Dear God,” Mariah said.

  “Baby, I’m sorry. I know I should have told you. But it’s not like my son will ever be a part of our lives.”

  “What else haven’t you told me, Curtis? I feel so stupid.”

  “That’s everything. I swear on my life. There are no more secrets.”

  Mariah’s head started to pound, and she wanted to go lie down. She was having a hard time digesting any of what she’d just learned and was ashamed of what she was thinking. She almost despised the fact that two other women had given her husband something she hadn’t. Tanya and Charlotte had given him his own flesh and blood, and there was only one way she could compete with that. But Curtis had made it clear from the start that he wanted to wait a while before they tried to have a baby.

  “Mariah, I am truly, truly sorry for not telling you,” Curtis said, holding her. “I was wrong, and I hope you can forgive me. I won’t ever keep anything else from you for as long as I live.”

  She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to respond to him, but she couldn’t find the words. Her heart ached heavily, and regardless of what Curtis claimed, she wondered what other skeletons he might have dangling elsewhere. She wanted to believe in him, but this newfound information that Alicia had boldly disclosed was a major blow. It had shaken her entire thinking and caused her to wonder if Curtis really was the man he claimed to be.

  “Baby, say something,” Curtis pleaded.

  “The thing is . . . I don’t know what to say about any of this.”

  “You do know why this is happening, don’t you?” he asked.

  “No. I don’t.”

  “Because Satan doesn’t want to see us happy. He’s been trying to tear me down ever since I answered my call to preach, and now he’s at it again. But this time he’s trying to attack you and me through my little girl. He knows how happy I am with you and how much I love my daughter, so that’s why he’s doing this. So, baby, please don’t let him win. Please don’t give him what he wants.”

  He released Mariah from his hold.

  “Satan, you are a liar!” he yelled. “You’ve been trying to get me for years, but today I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. I want you out of my house and out of my life for good. You hear me? Get out of here and find someone else to mess with. I mean it. I want you out of here.”

  Curtis broke into tears and spoke in tongues.

  He seemed so distraught and Mariah felt sorry for him. Alicia walked down the staircase to see what was going on, and Curtis grabbed her tightly.

  “Oh Lord, I am so sorry for all the sins I’ve committed and for hurting so many innocent people. But, Father, I ask you, please protect my daughter and make Satan stop influencing her. Force him to leave us alone so that we can do Your will instead.”

  Alicia stepped away from her father. Then she walked back up to her room, totally unimpressed. Curtis kneeled down in front of Mariah.

  “Baby, I’m sorry. Do you hear me? I’m so sorry I don’t know what to do. I was wrong for committing adultery against Tanya and I was wrong for not telling you about my other child. But if I have to, I’ll spend the rest of my life making everything up to you.”

  Mariah didn’t bother responding, but deep down she knew she would never see her husband in the same light.

  She knew their six-month honeymoon was officially over.

  Alicia gazed around her weekend boudoir and wondered why her father was downstairs clowning like that. He always resorted to praising God and rebuking Satan whenever someone cornered him, and he always blamed the devil for every sin he committed. She loved her father, but she was at the point where she just didn’t like him very much anymore. She’d been so disappointed in him that day Deacon Jackson stood in front of the congregation and told everyone what her father and Deacon Jackson’s wife had been doing. She remembered how he’d said her father had paid for Mrs. Jackson to have an abortion. Alicia hadn’t even known what an abortion was until one of her cousins explained it to her a year later. That whole pastor’s anniversary fiasco was the reason she now refused to attend any of his church services. She’d only been to his new church once, and that was only because he begged her to come to his installation ceremony.

  She was so tired of spending every other weekend with them, but the only reason she continued doing it was that she wanted Mariah to know she had a stepdaughter who would always be in the picture. She wanted her to know that she’d never have her husband strictly to herself if Alicia could help it.

  Alicia rose from her bed and sat down in front of the flat-screen monitor on her desk. As of late, the Internet was her only outlet, and she hoped Julian was on-line to chat with her. She loved communicating with him, because he never judged her and alw
ays listened to whatever she had to say. He always understood what she was going through and knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. She’d never met him face-to-face, but it was if she’d known him for years and years. They’d only been chatting for two weeks, after meeting in a chat room for young, single Chicagoans, but he’d already said that he couldn’t wait to meet her. He’d said that he wanted to spend some time with her because he could tell how wonderful she was. So maybe the time was finally right for them to get together.

  She clicked the sign-on button and within two seconds the DSL took her to the AOL Welcome screen. The first thing she saw was a weight-loss promotion. Alicia wondered why there were always so many of them. Not just on-line but also on television. She especially didn’t understand why it was so hard for people to lose weight, since she ate anything she wanted and never gained a pound. Although her mother insisted it was only because she was well under thirty.

  Alicia checked her e-mail messages and answered the one from Nikki, one of her classmates. She’d told Julian that it was best he didn’t e-mail her just in case her mother decided to snoop around her computer. So what they did was add each other to their buddy list. That way, they could see when the other signed on and could chat through the Instant Message feature.

  She surfed a few web sites and was just about to sign off when she saw the letters “JMoney1” appear in the upper right-hand corner.

  ALICIABLK: Hey, Julian.

  JMONEY1: Hey, Alicia. What’s up?

  ALICIABLK: I was just about to sign off, but I’m glad I didn’t.

  JMONEY1: So where are you?

  ALICIABLK: I’m at my dad’s, but I’m sorry I came over here.

  JMONEY1: Why is that?

  ALICIABLK: Because my mother told him about this progress report I got and he started tripping out about it. But I also told him exactly what I thought of him and how he broke up our family.

  JMONEY1: Uh-oh. I’m sorry to hear that.

  ALICIABLK: It’s not your fault, and I’m just glad you came on-line tonight.

  JMONEY1: I’ve been thinking about you all day. I do that a lot lately.