Endless

by Kaylene Winter

  “Great, I’m sorry to cut this short but I’m late for a meeting and gotta jet. I’ll see you next week, okay?”

  “Yes. See you next week, Ty.”

  In the days leading up to the party, Ty’s smiling face intervened in my imagination every time doubts about going crept in. He was the one who mattered to me. “Fuck it!” I decided, it was time to face LTZ. I couldn’t miss it, wouldn’t miss it. Alex had agreed to come with me for moral support. Besides, I had worked hard on the foundation, and I deserved to be there for the big announcement.

  And maybe, just maybe, Ty would finally be back in my life.

  Chapter 12

  TYSON

  We had just finished up our soundcheck on the stage at the top of the Space Needle. Me and the guys were hanging out waiting for the party to start. Well, I was waiting for Zoey to arrive. I had to admit that, even as a native, it was pretty badass to be able to see through the glass floor all the way down to the mangled architectural mess that was MoPOP and the spectacular Chihuly Glass Museum.

  We had played our songs acoustically only on a few occasions, the first time at Zoey’s house for her high-school graduation. For this set, we put extra effort into the arrangements to make sure it was perfect for a live streaming event.

  Truth be told, my heart was beating so hard I could nearly see it thumping under my black T-shirt. Knowing that Zoey would be here soon made me feel things I had pushed deep down inside of myself forever. Zane was sitting on a stool tuning his guitar, seemingly oblivious. Jace tried to be covert about it, but he was looking toward the platform where the elevator would let the guests out, waiting for Alex. Conner was outside standing on a clear bench with his hands on the slanted glass, looking out over the crystal-blue waters of Puget Sound. The show would start at sunset, which wasn’t for another hour.

  “Shit, happy birthday, Ty!” Zane suddenly looked up from his guitar. A smattering of the crew mumbled some birthday wishes too.

  “It’s a big day, I’m super excited about the kids we’re going to help.” I nodded at them.

  “Or, you’re super excited by a certain blonde lawyer.” Jace cocked his head. “I’d tell you to be careful, but I can see you’re going down the well again no matter what I say.”

  “Ah, well, there’s a lot of baggage but it’s been good getting to know her as a professional, for the past few months. She’s remarkable at her job. And now that we are friends again, hopefully we can put the past behind us.” I sounded defensive, and I was. I was far from the boy who anguished over Zoey for years, I’d grown up. I could make my own decisions.

  “Carter is an idiot, he’s the last person who should have ever given Zoey advice.” Zane shrugged. “I know it. He knows it. You know it.”

  “Zoey didn’t know it though. He was a famous rock star. She was only eighteen.” I defended her. “She did what she thought he asked her to do.”

  “Sounds like you’ve made peace with it.” Jace smiled.

  “Well, what am I supposed to do, man?” I smiled back. “She’s even more amazing now than she was then. I want everyone to be nice to her, she’s nervous about hearing the songs live and being outed. She has her career to consider.”

  “I don’t blame her, those lyrics put her on full blast.” Zane mimicked a shotgun. “Good thing we made everyone lock up their camera phones.”

  I looked up when I heard the elevator doors open. Alex stepped out first, wearing her uniform of a T-shirt, Levi’s, and black Frye boots. She narrowed her eyes when she spotted me. Behind her, Zoey looked like an angel, her blonde hair in a long, thick side braid with wild flyaway pieces all around her beautiful face, rocking a light-purple sundress and silver sandals. Every fiber of my body ignited. Exactly the same reaction as when I first saw Zoey in the audience at The Mission.

  There was no chance to say hello before the show, however. Andrew and Sienna pulled me into an interview, and then we all had to head back into the makeshift dressing room to do our pre-show rituals before we made our entrance.

  I could see the small crowd filing in from behind the wall, Jace, Connor, Zane’s friends and family, Carter and Fiona, some super fans who won tickets on Sirius, and the various LTZ staff from the management and booking office. Right before we went onstage, we huddled and pumped each other up, but I was distracted. I had to find where Zoey was in the crowd. From the sidelines, I frantically scanned the audience until I spotted her with Alex at the back by the bar, wine in hand, talking animatedly to each other.

  The sun descended over the Olympic Mountains, the golden light gave way to a brilliant pink and purple hue that illuminated the Seattle skyline. At that moment, the Sirius host announced us, and we all took the stage.

  We were playing six songs. I insisted on leaving out Down despite threats of bodily harm from the entire LTZ team and the Sirius suits. Our biggest hit had the most hurtful lyrics for Zoey to hear. I worried that if I sang my song of visceral heartbreak in front of her for the first time in such an intimate setting, it would send her right back down the glass elevator and out of my life forever. I didn’t want that. Since it was my event and my birthday, I simply pulled rank.

  I closed my eyes, didn’t say anything or engage in any banter, I just sang our earliest releases Rise and Gemini, and then Long Road and Kick It, our more recent hits. The new arrangements we had worked out sounded amazing, and it was a joy to perform in front of the small crowd. When Zane strummed the first chords of Shine the audience cheered, and I searched and found Zoey staring at me with a pensive yet intrigued look on her face. I addressed the crowd.

  “These next two songs were written during a time when I was utterly heartbroken and thought I had lost the love of my life forever. I’ve never publicly discussed who she was. We, uh, we lost touch for many years.” I looked over at Zane, who smiled at me and continued strumming.

  “But everyone is here to celebrate the announcement of the Rainier Arts Foundation.” I pumped my fist into the air, and the crowd cheered. Alex and Zoey stood still, I could feel them staring at me.

  “So, before you guys out in Sirius land start giving her shit, know that without her, my foundation wouldn’t exist. Without her, these songs wouldn’t exist.” The crowd buzzed, and a slow smattering of applause started and got louder.

  “So, I’m feeling, well, psyched that we have reconnected.” I strummed a few notes. “Well, I’m grateful for her, and I’m a little nervous for her to hear these songs in person tonight. Be kind, everyone.”

  Zane picked up the pace on the guitar which was my cue. I looked right at Zoey and sang Shine. Her face was unreadable, she looked at Alex for most of the song. When the opening notes of Butterfly started, I tried to hold her gaze, willing her to look at me so I could sing to her. I needed to sing to her. Like telepathy, my heart started pounding out of my chest when she looked up and held my gaze. I saw her wipe a tear from her cheek. When the last notes of Butterfly ended, the crowd erupted. It was a perfect rendition.

  “Okay, okay, shhhhh.” I moved my hands up and down to quiet the audience, who immediately hushed. “I know you’re only expecting six songs tonight, but I wanted to thank you for your support by debuting a new song just for all of you here, and for our Sirius fans.”

  The rest of the guys left the stage and Zane handed me my Breedlove. I strummed the first few notes. By now, Alex had her arm around Zoey, and they leaned together as they watched me.

  “This song is called Heart and it’s for the girl who has mine.” I caught Zoey’s eye and then looked away when I began to play.

  I got so lost in the song that it took me a minute to come back to Earth when it ended. Then we were done. The audience was small but a bit wild, and we were starting to get squeezed in. Considering this was my event, I had to take a few minutes to greet the fans and make the necessary small talk with the station suits.

  All I really wanted to do was get to Zoey. Barely able to catch a glimpse of her hair, I saw that she and Alex were standing outsi
de on the outer observation deck. I must have been staring, because Jace grabbed me by the arm and spun me around, and said, “For fuck’s sake, you’ve been waiting for this chance for eight years, will you stop dicking around and go get your girl?”

  I didn’t need to be told twice. Sergey, my security guard, stood at the door to give us some privacy. When I stepped onto the platform, I approached them tentatively. Alex looked at me and silently waved me over, squeezing my forearm when I neared. She kissed Zoey on the head before heading back inside. Leaving us alone. Blessedly alone, away from spying eyes and mobile phone cameras.

  I sat on the bench next to where she was standing and patted the seat. Zoey obliged by sitting next to me, looking over and giving me a small smile while fidgeting with her sparkly bracelet. Searching her eyes, I reached across and stroked her hair. “Hey, are you okay? Was it that bad?”

  “It was wonderful, you didn’t have to say those nice things.” Zoey blinked at me and captured the hand playing with her hair, cupping it to her face. Sighing and leaning in closer, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

  “I meant everything.”

  “The song, Ty? Was that really for me?”

  “Zoey.” I looked down at my beauty, tracing her face with the knuckles of my other hand down her neck where I touched the butterfly on her eighteenth-birthday necklace. “There’s always been only you.”

  “I’m so nervous. I don’t know what’s happening between us.” She let my hand go and held her arms around herself as if she were cold.

  “Yes, you do.”

  Without another thought, I did what was long overdue and bent down to kiss her sweet lips. Moaning, she reached up and laced her fingers through my hair and pulled my head to her. Our kiss deepened into something desperate and needy. I sucked on her tongue gently before I pulled her even closer so that there was little air between us. Her full breasts pressed against me was sweet torture. I tried to control myself, resting my forehead on her shoulder. Breathing heavily, I kept her flush against me, unwilling to release our embrace.

  After a few minutes of holding each other, she kissed my eyelids, then my nose and mouth. Her hair was still tied back in the loose braid, but I loved it wild and untamed. I released the clasp so it fell all around her shoulders and down her back. My hands caressed the sides of her breasts, thumbs sneaking over her nipples as we touched lips, then tongues, teasing but sweet. Zoey gripped my hair again, this time more tightly, which stung beautifully.

  Our passion was unleashed after eight long years, and I didn’t want to move from where we sat. Breathing in her delicious flowery-citrus scent, kissing, overlooking our beautiful city from its most iconic landmark was my idea of heaven. If only I could make everyone else inside at the party disappear, it would be a perfect end to a perfect night. There was no question anymore, she was my home.

  “What are you smiling about?” She leaned her head on my shoulder, looking up at me, her hands still caressing and raking through my hair.

  “I’m being cautiously optimistic.” I kissed her temple.

  Zoey moved away to look me in the eye but held onto my index finger with hers. We wiggled them together. “Well, we’ve gone from zero to ten pretty fast, I’m a little overwhelmed.”

  I coaxed her back into my side, where she burrowed back into me. “Zoey, we’ve been separated for years, but we can’t deny what is still between us.”

  She tucked my hair behind my ear, absently, like the way she used to. “Do you believe that?”

  “I really do. I haven’t been able to think about anything else since I first saw you again. But, I’m not sure what you want, do you think we can put the past in the past?” I traced her lips with my finger.

  Instead of answering, she searched my eyes as if to make sure I was telling her the truth. And then, as if she had the answer, she pressed her lips to mine and kissed me like she was never going to stop. Forehead to forehead we grinned like fools at each other, smooching, holding hands, cuddling. The moon had now fully risen in the sky and its light danced on Puget Sound that warm September night.

  Eventually, I took her hand and we went back into the party as a couple, certain that this birthday would turn out better than the last one I spent with her.

  Chapter 13

  ZOEY

  My heart was bursting into a million fireworks when Ty held tightly to my hand as he navigated the crowd like an expert. We hadn’t been together when he was this famous, and it was a whole new experience to witness the metamorphosis of the shy, introverted young man into the poised, articulate, and self-assured celebrity having people attend to his every whim.

  His once unruly chocolate waves were soft and shiny, flowing just past his shoulders. His piercing, blue eyes showed the confidence of someone who commanded 200,000 people at a festival and the gentle kindness of the man I fell in love with so long ago. In the past couple of months, Ty had filled out, and the definition of his chest and biceps under his plain black T-shirt was swoon-worthy. Let alone his impressive package under faded black jeans, which were held up by a studded, black leather belt.

  He was yummy the day he showed up in my office in an Armani suit, but rocker Ty was still off the chain. Posing with every fan who was there, signing autographs on all sorts of LTZ paraphernalia, talking music, gracefully fending off a few groupies—it was all in the course of business. His skills were impeccable.

  Throughout, Ty held my hand tightly while his thumb stroked my palm. I played with his bracelet to keep me somewhat grounded. The night felt like a dream. A good dream, but surreal. I’d come to this show thinking we were strictly professional friends. Was I leaving with a boyfriend? Dedicating a song that he wrote for me, live on air in front of all these people, was a big move and I was confused. Did he really want us to be a couple again? Had anyone here put two and two together and realized I was Z?

  Needing to pee, I dropped Ty’s hand and excused myself to find the restroom, running straight into Zane and Conner on the way.

  “Hey, Zoey!” Zane pulled me into a hug.

  “Hi, Zane.” I smiled and hugged him back.

  “So, you’re a lawyer now I hear.” Zane didn’t break our connection, so I had to.

  “Yep.” I nodded at Conner. “Hey, Conner, good to see you.”

  “Hey.”

  I felt awkward, and decided to end our little reunion, “Well, I’m just trying to find the bathroom.”

  “Zoey.” I was surprised to hear Conner speak to me. “I haven’t seen Ty happy in a long time. Um. Fuck. Never mind. It’s none of my business.”

  Zane intervened, “We were there, Zoey. It was bad. Dad told me what he did, and whatever. It’s just that Ty’s our brother and we have to have his back.”

  “I’m not sure what is happening with us, guys, but whatever it is, we are older and hopefully wiser, and we are also adults now. I appreciate your concern, and I’m aware of my own past mistakes but now it’s between us, and this time I’m going to protect that.” I looked at both of them sternly.

  “Guys, you all saw me through some rough times, but Zoey is right, this is between us.” Ty came up behind me and placed both hands on my shoulders, drawing me back against him and wrapping his arms around me. “We’re going to figure this out together without any more interference.”

  “Fair enough.” Connor gave Ty a middle finger salute and headed toward his bass rig.

  “Dude—” Zane started.

  “It’s cool, we’re going to head out.” Ty let him off the hook.

  “Wait!” A beautiful dark-haired woman grabbed Ty’s arm and gave me a scathing look, which was replaced with a smile in an instant when she looked at Ty.

  “What’s up, Sienna? We were just leaving.” Ty’s arm around me tightened possessively.

  “Aren’t you going to introduce me?” She rubbed his biceps and directed her gaze up and down my body.

  All of my hackles went up.

  “Oh. Of course, this is the magnificent Zoey Pe
arson.” Ty kissed the top of my head.

  “Hi,” I said quietly.

  “Ahh, how fun. The famous ‘Z,’” Sienna drawled condescendingly. “So great to finally meet the girl that made LTZ’s career. Ty has been sooo secretive about you for all of these years.”

  “Well, we’re heading out, I’ll talk to you later.” Ty ignored her snide attitude and tugged me away from the shark-like woman.

  “Who is that?” I hoped it wasn’t a former girlfriend with all of my heart.

  “Just Sienna, one of our publicists.” Ty rolled his eyes. “She took over after Jace got too busy, she and her partner Andrew are always up in our business.”

  “Oh.”

  “Ignore her.” Ty bent down and gave me a scorching kiss to end all kisses and, as ordered, I promptly forgot all about Sienna. “Let’s get out of here.”

  On our way to the door, we happened upon Alex talking to Jace in very close proximity. They sprang apart when they saw us approach. Ty and I gave each other knowing side looks. After we said our goodbyes, we were suddenly alone in the glass elevator deescalating down the side of the Space Needle. Ty reached over and took my hand, playing with my fingers, but kept his eyes gazing out the window, staring at the ground as it rushed up to meet us.

  A couple of burly bodyguards, including Ty’s security guard, were posted at the bottom, and I was surprised to see a huge crowd outside waiting to get a glimpse of anyone in the band. It was so weird for me to reconcile the Ty I knew as a teenager, with the Ty rock star that I trolled on social media from afar, to the Ty Foundation owner I had reconnected with, to this Ty. A real, live celebrity.

  “I was hoping you might come back to my house to hang out, and well, talk some more?” Ty kept a grip on my hand while we waited for security to get us to his car.

  “I’m not sure, I’m still processing all of this. I want to, but—” I tried to explain.

  “Yeah, it’s okay if you’re not ready.” Ty squeezed my hand kindly. “I can bring you home.”