“Trust me when I say that you really don’t want to be a part of this. I’m doing this to protect you. I would love nothing more than to tell the whole world about us and to share everything in my life with you, but that would be selfish of me and you would end up hating me for it.”
“How do you know? Have you had a problem before?” I asked a little petulantly, wondering what other girl may have suffered through this kind of thing.
“Well, I told you about what they did to Gemma and Kate, and I didn’t hold either of them out as my girlfriend in public. Of course, neither of them actually was my girlfriend. I can’t imagine what the press and the photographers would do to someone I made clear was my girlfriend. You wouldn’t have a moment’s peace.”
His answer wasn’t exactly what I was looking for and he must have noticed because he became silent for a moment as if thinking about how to answer further.
He then added, “To answer your real question, no. I haven’t had a serious girlfriend since I’ve been famous.”
“Define ‘serious.’”
“I’m not going to tell you I haven’t dated because I’m not going to lie to you, but I haven’t had anyone I would consider my girlfriend. Look,” he said pleading in his voice, “I don’t want to ruin this evening for either of us. Know that I’m only thinking of you. I’m only trying to protect you.”
I couldn’t hold back anymore. My eyes started to well up with tears.
“Don’t. I love you. You have no idea how much I love you. Please don’t cry. Don’t be sad. I want this night to be perfect.”
He started to kiss me and took my hand to lead me over to the couches around the fire pit. Without much trouble, he lit the fire and sat back on one of the comfortable beige couches that surrounded the fire pit. He looked at me and curled his finger toward himself, silently asking me to sit down next to him.
I soon was glad that Will’s neighbors on either side all had one story houses as well, that the fences between them were high, and that there were no windows from the neighboring houses that could look down into the backyard.
Because Will had to be at a radio interview at seven a.m., having to leave much earlier than that, and to afford us one more opportunity to be together, I broke my 9-to-4 study rule that day and slept in, awaiting Will’s return.
I awoke with a start at nothing. It was ten a.m. and Will still hadn’t returned. I brushed my teeth immediately upon waking as had become my habit and then jumped in the shower. When I was finished washing my hair, I got out and wrapped the towel around me just as Will entered the bathroom quickly, eyes smoldering, anxious to find me. My towel didn’t remain on long.
As we lay in bed facing each other, I asked, “Are you excited about tonight?”
“Sort of. Well, not about the premiere exactly. It’s just that, if the movies continue to do well, it makes it easier for me to be considered bankable enough to do other things I want to do.”
“What do you want to do?” It seemed strange that I had not thought to ask him this question yet.
He was pensive for a moment. “I don’t know if there is anything necessarily specific yet. At this point, I just want longevity. I don’t want to be finished after a few years. I want to be able to grow and do different things as an actor and in the industry in general.
“When I started, it was hard. You know, I had a small part in a big British movie first. I dropped out of university, thinking it would be easy after that. But it was quite some time before I was cast in Midnight 1.
“Then Midnight 1 was very successful financially, but not critically so, and I didn’t reap much of the financial benefits. But I was cast in a few independent films after that. That’s where I was able to show I could actually act rather than just brood on camera.
“I then signed on for Midnight 2 and 3 and made a lot more money, but it wasn’t until after Midnight 2 that I was considered for other high-profile movies in supporting roles with some very good actors. And the money continued to improve.
“Of course, with Midnight 4, my agent negotiated a piece of the back end, which will allow me to possibly fund my own project.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize you were so ambitious.”
“You thought it was just you, huh?” He smirked.
“I’m just surprised sometimes that we are so different and yet so similar.”
“If you think I’m similar to you, that’s quite a compliment.”
“I think your regard for me is a little out of line with reality.”
“I don’t think so.”
Before he would further embarrass me by singing my praises, I changed the subject and became suddenly serious. “I’m going to miss you. I can’t imagine not having you around.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll be thinking about you the whole time.”
“You’re going to be too busy to think of me. I’m the one who’s going to be home with only boring law books and my thoughts to keep me company.”
“I won’t be too busy. I’ll be wishing you were with me every minute. I’ll make sure you know I’m thinking of you.”
I started to tear up and held him tightly. I don’t know how I survived before Will or how I was going to survive with him gone.
We ate lunch on the couches near the fire pit so that we could sit close to each other. Will had his left arm around me as we sat there quietly eating and kissing intermittently. At that point, neither of us was up for much conversation.
Will drove me home just after lunch as he needed to get ready for the premiere, which I didn’t realize started so early.
He walked me into my apartment carrying my bag. Carrie was sitting at the table surrounded by Bar review books and highlighter pens.
I grabbed my bag from Will and took it into my bedroom while Will spoke with Carrie.
Returning to the living room, I heard Will say to Carrie, “Take care of her for me,” and he winked at her.
“No problem,” she replied smiling.
I walked Will to his car and he kissed me passionately before getting into the car.
“I love you. I’ll ring you tonight. It may be late, but I promise I’ll call.”
“I love you too. Have fun.” With that, I waved as he drove off and my eyes started to well up with tears.
“Three weeks,” I sighed and tried to hold back the tears unsuccessfully.
True to his word, Will made every attempt to let me know he was thinking of me. I received texts telling me he missed me from the premiere itself. I smiled as I pictured him texting me while walking down the red carpet, although I doubt that he actually did it then. He sent me a picture with his camera phone of the crowd and I was amazed. It was huge and predominantly female.
I also received a call from Will briefly late that night from the party after the premiere. I could hardly hear over the noise, but I thought I heard him say, “I love you. Sleep well.”
Then I heard what probably was other cast and crew members shouting, “Good night, Shannon.”
Chapter Sixteen
While I was studying the next day with Carrie, we received a call from the phone box at the front of the complex. I buzzed in a florist with a massive vase full of pink and white carousel roses. The card had Will’s handwriting and read, “Thinking about you every second as I promised. Love, W.”
I sent a quick text, “Rec’d flowers. Beautiful. Thank u. ILY.”
A little later, I received a brief response via text, “Miss u & ILY2.”
That night, to keep from making myself crazy thinking of Will, Carrie and I met Rachael at the Royalist after class.
Being in love must make you more attractive because I received more attention than usual that night, even more than I had the time I was here right after I met Will. To make myself feel better, I dressed up a little with a black form fitting shirt and miniskirt, but I had looked better at the Royalist on other occasions and had received far less attention.
The Royalist probably wasn’t the best
choice of venue since it now represented the place I met Will rather than a pub I had frequented since I turned 21. I was a little depressed and decided to go splash some cold water on my face to make myself feel a little better.
As I headed back toward the bathroom, I noticed that Stephen, Colin, Kate and Gemma were sitting at a low table that had been hidden from my spot near the bar. Their surprise at seeing me was clear. The boys stood.
“What are you doing here? I would have thought you’d be home studying,” Colin said as he kissed me on the cheek.
“Well, my friends, Carrie and Rachael, decided to take me out to cheer me up.”
I cringed as two of the guys I had been talking to with Rachael and Carrie walked up, put their arms around me and handed me a drink.
Colin got a little bit in their faces and said, “She’s with us.”
Colin looked like he could take both of them on and not break a sweat. One of the men replied, “Whatever, man,” and he and his friend walked away.
Colin turned back to me and glared a little.
“Will wouldn’t be happy about this.”
“It’s nothing. It’s just a few of Rachael’s admirers getting a little aggressive. I’m not here to meet men. I’m taken.”
Colin relaxed. “I guess I understand. You can’t help it, although you may want to rethink looking like this when you go out.”
“What do you mean?” I worried about a possible wardrobe malfunction, but as I looked down the front of me, I realized that there was no problem.
I must have looked puzzled so Colin clued me in, “Wear. Less. Flattering. Clothes.”
I could tell that he then realized that Gemma was sitting next to him hearing everything he said. “But, of course, I am with the most beautiful girl in the room.”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s a little late for that,” Gemma said as she laughed and we all laughed with her.
I felt my cell phone buzz. I had put it in my pocket so that I could feel it when Will called.
There was no noise on his end, but he could hear the noise on mine. The jukebox wasn’t playing so it was a little quieter than normal. There was just the normal din of a crowded bar.
“Where are you? It sounds like you’re in the middle of a riot.”
“Close. Royalist. I’m here with your friends.”
“Really?”
“Say ‘Hi,’ Stephen. Say ‘Hi,’ Colin. Kate? Gemma?”
They all said “hello” almost in unison.
“How did you end up out with them?”
“Carrie and Rachael took me out tonight to cheer me up and these guys were here. They’re protecting me from all the lecherous men.” I laughed.
“That’s not funny,” Will replied jokingly, but with a hint of seriousness.
“Don’t worry. I only have eyes for you.”
“I will worry. Now.”
“Would you prefer I sat home pining for you?”
“Umm. Yes. Well, no, not if it would make you unhappy.”
“If I have to stay here while you’re out with a bunch of gorgeous actresses and nubile fans who are no doubt throwing themselves at you, I think you can put up with a couple of drunks who don’t have a chance hitting on me. Besides, I have a protector remember: Colin.”
“I knew we were mates for a reason.” He laughed.
“You sound tired. You should try to get some sleep on the plane. Call me tomorrow?”
“Of course. Good night. I love you more than anything.”
“I love you too.”
I motioned to Rachael and Carrie so that they and some of Rachael’s newfound friends could join us.
It ended up being a lively evening. I could tell that Will’s friends were surprised that I was friends with someone as boisterous and edgy as Rachael. I’m sure that they thought Carrie was more my speed, but they seemed to like both of my friends. The sentiment was returned.
We left later than I had hoped. I was going to need to sleep in a little and it was going to cut into my 9-to-4 study plan. Chalk up another failure to keep my promise to myself in just the first week of studying for the Bar. It was not a good sign. I guess it had been worth it though. I was tired enough to sleep without thinking too much of Will and being sad. I might actually live through the next few weeks - barely.
I woke up late as I anticipated I would, but got down to studying fairly quickly. I was hungry and turned on the TV around eleven to have an early lunch since I hadn’t had any breakfast.
And there he was. Will was sitting on the couch of a talk show. Every time he spoke, the audience screamed with a pitch that made it clear they were all women. When that happened, he would bend in half looking at his knees, slightly embarrassed.
The tall, exotic beauty who was the talk show hostess was flirting with him. She sat with knees folded on the couch, and was very close with her body facing him.
“So tell us the one thing our audience is dying to know. Is there someone special in your life?”
He laughed as though he was used to this question by now and then ducked the question.
“You know Katherine and I are just friends.”
“You could have fooled me. Let’s show the clip.”
The clip run was of Will and Katherine. They were both crying and kissing each other.
“Wow,” the talk show host said when it was finished. Look at that chemistry.” The audience screamed.
“We do have good chemistry, but I promise she and I are just friends in real life. That’s all.”
“Hmmm. Either you’re protesting too much or there’s someone else in your life.” The audience screamed.
“I try to keep my professional and personal lives separate.”
“I’m guessing that means you do have someone in your life. Tell us about it. Come on, we want to hear about it, don’t we girls?” The audience screamed again.
He got serious. “Okay. Yes. All right. But please let’s not go there,” he pleaded. “Let me tell you about something far more interesting.” Then he quickly launched into the subject of a behind the scenes prank he played on his costars on the set.
A little while after the show was over, I decided to text Will. “Just saw u on TV. U admitted 2 having a girlfriend. I’m glad. ILY. Miss u.”
The response came back quickly. “Why r u watching TV instead of studying? It’s embarrassing having u c that stuff. Promise me u won’t watch anymore.”
I texted back, “Promise. But I’m still glad. ILY.”
The reply was again immediate. “I shouldn’t have done it. But I find it hard 2 lie, especially when it comes 2 something so important 2 me. We will regret it. I’m sorry. ILY. Ring u 2nite.”
At about one o’clock that afternoon, my cell phone rang. I ran to get it, hoping it was Will.
“Hi, Shannon. It’s John.”
“Hi. What’s up?” I must have sounded disappointed, but if I did, John didn’t seem to notice.
“Well, Max and Dan and I are going for drinks after work and we were wondering if you want to come.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t. I take the live Bar review classes. They’re every weeknight at six.”
“That’s okay. We thought we’d try.” He sounded disappointed. “So how’s your Europe trip planning coming along?” he continued, not ending the conversation as I had expected.
“I haven’t done a lot recently. I’ve been too caught up with graduation and the start of Bar review classes.”
“And other things I’m sure.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, aren’t you doing all the premiere stuff with Will?”
“No.” Now I really sounded disappointed.
“Really?”
“No. Will doesn’t want me to get caught up in all that. Plus, I have to study.” I’m sure John could picture the pout on my face. “Will’s out of town now. New York, then Europe, then Australia and Japan.”
“He really left you?” he asked rhetorically and there was real shock i
n his voice.
I answered anyway. “Yes. But don’t make it sound like that.”
“You sound like you need some cheering up. How about I take you to lunch and we can talk about your trip? Tomorrow, okay?”
I thought about the fact that Will probably would be jealous. Then I thought that there was no good reason for that just as he said there was no reason for me to be jealous of Katherine. Will was with Katherine now so why couldn’t I spend time with John?
“Sure,” I answered. “I could use the distraction.”
After I got home from class, I was alone. Carrie had dropped me off at the apartment and left to visit her parents in San Juan Capistrano for the weekend.
Just before eleven, Will called. It was quiet in the background on his end.
“You’re not out at a party this time?”
“No. I’m back at the hotel. I did chat shows today. The premiere is tomorrow night.”
“Did you survive?
“Yes. My hand is still cramping from signing autographs though and I think my ears are going to be ringing for a while from all the screaming.”
I laughed. “Poor you. The price you have to pay for being so handsome.”
Seemingly embarrassed, he abruptly changed the subject. “How was your day after we talked?”
“Same old. Studied. Class. Carrie’s gone so I’m home alone.”
“I’m sorry. You have no idea how much I wish I was there. I need to be with you.”
“Is that all I am to you?” I asked only half-joking. “Because I’m sure you could find a number of willing volunteers where you are.”
“No, no. That’s not what I meant. Well, it is in part. It’s just that when we’re together like that I really feel like you’re mine. It’s hard when you’re far from me. It just feels wrong.”
“I know and I feel the same way, but this was your idea, not mine.”
“I know and I’m suffering for it, believe me. I just hope that you’re not.”
“What do you think?”
He paused as he thought about that. “I promise I’ll try to make this right again when all this is over.”
“It is what it is. There’s nothing to make right. I know you’re just trying to protect me. It doesn’t make it less painful, but that fact helps.”
Away From the Spotlight Page 11