by George Moore
They gave their money willingly enough for the adornment of their chapel, for stained glass, incense, candles, and for music, and were it not for the services of the Church he didn’t know into what barbarism the people mightn’t have fallen: the tones of the organ sustaining clear voices of nuns singing a Mass by Mozart must sooner or later inspire belief in the friendliness of pure air and the beauty of flowers. Flowers are the only beautiful things within the reach of these poor people. Roses all may have, and it was pleasant to think that there is nothing more entirely natural or charming in the life of man than his love of flowers: it preceded his love of music; no doubt an appreciation of something better in the way of art than a jig played on the pipes would follow close on the purification of the home.
Nora Glynn was beautiful, and her personality was winning and charming, her playing delightful, and her singing might have inspired the people to cultivate beauty. But she was going to the convent. The convent had gotten her. It was a pity. Mrs. O’Mara’s scandalous stories, insinuating lies, had angered him till he could bear with her no longer, and he had put her out the door. He didn’t believe that Eliza had ever said she could give Nora more than she was earning in Garranard. It mattered very little if she had, for it had so fallen out that she was going to get her. He begrudged them Nora. But Eliza was going to get her, and he’d have to make the best terms he could.
But he could not constrain his thoughts to the present moment. They would go back to the fateful afternoon when he ran across the fields to ask Nora if what Mrs. O’Mara had said of her were true. If he had only waited! If she had come to him to confession on Saturday, as he expected she would! If something had prevented him from preaching on Sunday! A bad cold might have prevented him from speaking, and she might have gone away for a while, and, when her baby was born, she might have come back. It could have been easily arranged. But fate had ordered her life otherwise, and here he was in the Tinnick Convent, hoping to make her some poor amends for the wrong he had done her. Would Eliza help him? — that was the question he asked himself as he crossed the beeswaxed floor and stood looking at the late afternoon sunlight glancing through the trees, falling across the green sward.
‘How do you do, Oliver?’
His face lighted up, but it changed expression and became gray again. He had expected to see Eliza, tall and thin, with yellow eyebrows and pale eyes. Hers was a good, clearly-cut face, like his own, whereas Mary’s was quite different. Yet a family likeness stared through Mary’s heavy white face. Her eyes were smaller than his, and she already began to raise them and lower them, and to look at him askance, in just the way he hated. Somehow or other she always contrived to make him feel uncomfortable, and the present occasion was no exception. She was already reproving him, hoping he was not disappointed at seeing her, and he had to explain that he expected to see Eliza, and that was why he looked surprised. She must not confuse surprise with disappointment. He was very glad to see her.
‘I know I am not as interesting as Eliza,’ she began, ‘but I thought you might like to see me, and if I hadn’t come at once I shouldn’t have had an opportunity of seeing you alone.’
‘She has something to confide,’ Father Oliver said to himself, and he hoped that her confidences might be cut short by the timely arrival of Eliza.
‘Eliza is engaged at present. She told Sister Agatha to tell you that she would be with you presently. I met Sister Agatha in the passage, and said I would take the message myself. I suppose I oughtn’t to have done so, but if I hadn’t I shouldn’t have had an opportunity of speaking with you.’
‘Why is that?’
‘I don’t think she likes me to see you alone.’
‘My dear Mary!’
‘You don’t know, Oliver, what it is to live in a convent, and your own sister the head of it.’
‘I should have thought, Mary, that it was especially pleasant, and that you were especially fortunate. And as for thinking that Eliza is not wishing you to see me alone, I am sure—’
‘You are sure I’m mistaken.’
‘What reason could she have?’
‘Eliza doesn’t wish the affairs of the convent discussed. You know, I suppose, that the building of the new wing has put a burden of debt on the convent.’
‘I know that; so why should Eliza—’
‘Eliza tries to prevent my seeing any of the visitors. Now, do you think that quite right and fair towards one’s sister?’
Father Oliver tried to prevent himself from smiling, but he sympathized so entirely with Eliza’s efforts to prevent Mary from discussing the affairs of the convent that he could hardly keep down the smile that rose to his lips. He could see Eliza’s annoyance on coming into the parlour and finding Mary detailing all the gossip and confiding her own special woes, for the most part imaginary, to a visitor. Nor would Mary refrain from touching on the Reverend Mother’s shortcomings. He was so much amused that he might have smiled if it had not suddenly come to his mind that Mary might leave the convent and insist on living with him; and a little scared he began to think of what he could say to pacify her, remembering in the midst of his confusion and embarrassment that Mary was professed last year, and therefore could not leave the convent; and this knowledge filled him with such joy that he could not keep back the words, but must remind his sister that she had had ample opportunity of considering if she were suited to the religious life.
‘You see, Mary, you should have thought of all this before you were professed.’
‘I shan’t take my final vows till next year.’
‘But, my dear Mary, once a woman has taken the black veil ... it is the same thing, you know.’
‘Not quite, otherwise there would be no meaning in the delay.’
‘You don’t mean to say that you’re thinking of leaving the convent, Mary?’
‘Not exactly, but it is very hard on me, Oliver. I was thinking of writing to you, but I hoped that you would come to see us. You have been a long time now without coming.’
‘Well, Mary—’
‘Eliza loves ruling everybody, and just because I am her sister she is harder on me than anyone else. Only the other day she was furious with me because I stopped at confession a few minutes longer than usual. “I think,” she said, “you might spare Father Higgins your silly scruples.” Now, how is one to stop in a convent if one’s own sister interferes in one’s confessions?’
‘Well, Mary, what are you thinking of doing?’
‘There are some French nuns who have just come over and want to open a school, and are looking for Irish subjects. I was thinking they’d like to have me. You see, I wouldn’t have to go through the novitiate again, for they want an experienced person to teach them English and to mind the school for them. It is really a mistake to be under one’s own sister.’
At that moment the door opened and Eliza came in, apologizing for having kept her brother so long waiting.
‘You see, my dear Oliver, I’ve had two mothers here this morning, and you know what parents are. I suppose Mary has told you about our difficulties. Now, do you mean to say that you have found a person who will suit us?... It is really very kind of you.’
‘I can’t say for certain, Eliza. Of course, it is difficult for me to know exactly what you want, but, so far as I know, I think the person I have in my mind will suit you.’
‘But has she a diploma from the Academy? We must have a certificate.’
‘I think she’ll suit you, but we’ll talk about her presently. Don’t you think we might go into the garden?’
‘Yes, it will be pleasanter in the garden. And you, Mary — you’ve had your little chat with Oliver.’
‘I was just going, Eliza. If I’d known that Oliver wanted to speak privately to you, I’d have gone sooner.’
‘No, no, I assure you, Mary.’
Mary held out her hand to her brother, saying:
‘I suppose I shall not see you again, unless, perhaps, you’re stopping the night with Father
Higgins. It would be nice if you could do that. You could say Mass for us in the morning.’
Father Oliver shook his head.
‘I’m afraid I must get back to-night.’
‘Well, then, good-bye.’ And Mary went out of the room regretfully, like one who knows that the moment her back is turned all her faults will become the subject of conversation.
‘I hear from Mary that some French nuns are coming over, and want to open a school. I hope that won’t interfere with yours, Eliza; you spent a great deal of money upon the new wing.’
‘It will interfere very much indeed; but I’m trying to get some of the nuns to come here, and I hope the Bishop will not permit a new foundation. It’s very hard upon us Irish women if we are to be eaten out of house and home by pious foreigners. I’m in correspondence with the Bishop about it. As for Mary—’
‘You surely don’t think she’s going to leave?’
‘No, I don’t suppose she’ll leave; it would be easier for me if she did, but it would give rise to any amount of talk. And where would she go if she did leave, unless she lived with you?’
‘My house is too small; besides, she didn’t speak of leaving, only that she hadn’t yet taken her final vows. I explained that no one will distinguish between the black veil and final vows. Am I not right?’
‘I think those vows will take a great weight off your mind, Oliver. I wish I could say as much for myself.’
The Reverend Mother opened a glass door, and brother and sister stood for some time admiring the flower vases that lined the terrace.
‘I can’t get her to water the geraniums.’
‘If you’ll tell me where I can get a can—’
‘You’ll excuse me, Reverend Mother.’
It was the Sister in charge of the laundry, and, seeing her crippled arm, Father Oliver remembered that her dress had become entangled in the machinery. He didn’t know, however, that the fault lay with Mary, who was told off to watch the machinery and to stop it instantly in case of necessity.
‘She can’t keep her attention fixed on anything, not even on her prayers, and what she calls piety I should call idleness. It’s terrible to have to do with stupid women, and the convent is so full of them that I often wonder what is the good of having a convent at all.’
‘But, Eliza, you don’t regret—’
‘No, of course I don’t regret. I should do just the same again. But don’t let us waste our time talking about vocations. I hear enough of that here. I want you to tell me about the music-mistress; that’s what interests me.’
And when Father Oliver had told her the whole story and showed her Father O’Grady’s letter, she said:
‘You know I always thought you were a little hard on Miss Glynn. Father O’Grady’s letter convinces me that you were.’
‘My dear Eliza, I don’t want advice; I’ve suffered enough.’
‘Oliver dear, forgive me.’ And the nun put out her hand to detain him.
‘Well, don’t say again, Eliza, that you always thought. It’s irritating, and it does no good.’
‘Her story is known, but she could live in the convent; that would shelter her from any sort of criticism. I don’t see why she shouldn’t take the habit of one of the postulants, but—’
The priest waited for his sister to speak, and after waiting a little while he asked her what she was going to say.
‘I was going to ask you,’ said the nun, waking from her reverie, ‘if you have written to Miss Glynn.’
‘Yes, I wrote to her.’
‘And she’s willing to come back?’
‘I haven’t spoken to her about that. It didn’t occur to me until afterwards, but I can write at once if you consent.’
‘I may be wrong, Oliver, but I don’t think she’ll care to leave London and come back here, where she is known.’
‘But, Eliza, a girl likes to live in her own country. Mind you, I am responsible. I drove her out of her country among strangers. She’s living among Protestants.’
‘I don’t think that will trouble her very much.’
‘I don’t know why you say that, Eliza. Do you think that a woman cannot repent? that because she happens to have sinned once—’
‘No; I suppose there are repentant sinners, but I think we most often go on as we begin. Now, you see, Father O’Grady says that she’s getting on very well in London, and we like to live among those who appreciate us.’
‘Well, Eliza, of course, if you start with the theory that no one can repent—’
‘I didn’t say that, Oliver. But she wouldn’t tell you who the man was. She seems a person of character — I mean, she doesn’t seem to be lacking in strength of character.’
‘She’s certainly a most excellent musician. You’ll find no one like her, and you may be able to get her very cheap. And if your school doesn’t pay—’
A shade passed across the Reverend Mother’s face.
‘There’s no doubt that the new wing has cost us a great deal of money.’
‘Then there are the French nuns—’
‘My dear Oliver, if you wish me to engage Miss Glynn as music-mistress I’ll do so. There’s no use speaking to me about the French nuns. I’ll engage her because you ask me, but I cannot pay her as much as those who have diplomas. How much do you think she’d come for?’
‘I don’t know what she’s earning in London, but I suppose you can pay her an average wage. You could pay her according to results.’
‘What you say is quite true, Oliver.’ The priest and the nun continued their walk up and down in front of the unfinished building. ‘But you don’t know, Oliver, if she’s willing to leave London. You’ll have to write and find out.’
‘Very well, Eliza, I’ll write. You’ll be able to offer her as much as she was earning in my parish as schoolmistress. That’s fifty pounds a year.’
‘It’s more than we can afford, Oliver, but if you wish it.’
‘I do wish it, Eliza. Thank you. You’ve taken a great weight off my mind.’
They passed into the house, and, stopping in front of the writing-table, the nun looked to see if there were paper and envelopes in the blotter.
‘You’ll find everything you want, even sealing-wax,’ she said. ‘Now I’ll leave you.’
From Father Oliver Gogarty to Miss Nora Glynn.
‘TINNICK CONVENT,
‘June 4, 19 — .
‘DEAR MISS GLYNN,
‘I take it for granted that you received the letter I sent you two days ago, telling you how much I appreciated your kindness in asking Father O’Grady to write to tell me that you were quite safe and getting on well. Since writing that letter I feel more keenly than ever that I owe you reparation, for it was through an error of judgment on my part that you are now an exile from your own country. Everyone is agreed that I have committed an error of judgment. My sister, the Mother Superior of this convent from where I am writing, is of that opinion. The moment I mentioned your name she began, “I always thought that—” and I begged of her to spare me advice on the subject, saying that it was not for advice that I came to her, but to ask her to help me to make atonement, which she could do by engaging you to teach music in her convent. You see, I had heard that my sister was in a difficulty. The new wing is nearly completed, and she could get the best families in Ireland to send their daughters to be educated in her convent if she could provide sufficient musical instruction. I thought you might like to live in your own country, now that your thoughts have again turned towards God, and I can imagine the unpleasantness it must be to a Catholic to live in a Protestant country. I told my sister this, and she answered that if you wish to come over here, and if Father O’Grady advises it, she will take you as music-mistress. You will live in the convent. You can enter it, if you wish, as a postulant, or if you should remain an extern teacher the salary they will give you will be fifty pounds a year. I know you can make more than that in London, but you can live more cheaply here, and you will be among friends
.
‘I shall be glad to hear from you on this subject.
‘Very sincerely yours,
‘OLIVER GOGARTY, P.P.’
When he looked up, the darkness under the trees surprised him, and the geraniums so faintly red on the terrace, and his sister passing up and down like a phantom.
‘Eliza.’
He heard her beads drop, and out of a loose sleeve a slim hand took the letter. There was not enough light in the room to read by, and she remained outside, leaning against the glass door.
‘You haven’t written exactly the letter I should have written, but, then, we’re quite different. I should have written a cold and more business-like letter.’ His face changed expression, and she added: ‘I’m sorry if I’m unsympathetic, Oliver.’
The touch of her hand and the look in her eyes surprised him, for Eliza was not demonstrative, and he wondered what had called forth this sudden betrayal of feeling. He expected her to ask him not to send the letter, but instead of doing so she said:
‘If the letter were written otherwise it wouldn’t be like yourself, Oliver. Send it, and if she leaves London and comes back here, I will think better of her. It will be proof that she has repented. I see you’ll not have an easy mind until you make atonement. You exaggerate, I think; but everyone for himself in a matter like this.’
‘Thank you, Eliza. You always understand.’
‘Not always. I failed to understand when you wanted to set up a hermitage on Castle Island.’
‘Yes, you did; you have better sense than I. Yet I feel we are more alike than the others. You have counted for a great deal in my life, Eliza. Do you remember saying that you intended to be Reverend Mother? And now you are Reverend Mother.’
‘I don’t think I said “I intended.” But I felt that if I became a nun, one day or another I should be Reverend Mother; one knows most often than not what is going to happen — one’s own fate, I mean.’