by Carly Fall
new path formed, and you veered off onto it. A few years later, you looked back at the new path,
and sometimes you wondered exactly what the fuck you’d done. Fate was kind of a bitch like
that. She offered you so many choices, so many winding paths, that you could never fully predict
what your effect your decisions were going to have not only on your life, but on the lives of
those around you.
So what was going to happen if he just let loose and spewed the vitriol within him? How
was it going to affect him, and how was it going to affect his friends who actually wanted to hear
it?
Bringing his beer to his lips, he slammed it down in one long pull. And . . . off the cliff
we go. He sighed heavily and stared at a spot on the table in front of him.
“I made an oath to myself and to Mia that I would honor our mating vows in honor of her
death since I am such a shitbag and didn’t do it while she lived. I want Annis. Every time I look
at Annis I see Mia. And every time—”
“Whoa! Back up there a minute, man,” Rayner said. “What do you mean you made an
oath? And you want Annis? As in what?”
“This has the promise of being an interesting conversation,” Talin said, sitting up in his
seat.
Cohen looked Rayner in the eye. “I want Annis as an SR44 male wants a female.”
“Are you kidding me?” Jovan said, pushing his hair behind his ear. “You sure have a
funny way of showing it. Females like to be treated with respect, Cohen. She’s never going to
want to sleep with you if you keep looking at her like you wish she were dead. I mean—”
“I’m very aware on how to treat a female, Jovan. Thanks, though.”
“Go back to the oath thing,” Talin said.
“I made a Tambaran. I did it right after I found out Mia died.”
There was a beat of silence.
“You’re serious?” Jovan asked.
“Yes.”
“Cohen—”
“I had to. I didn’t honor our mating while on this godforsaken mission. I wanted to honor
it in her death. So I did a ceremony and made the oath.”
“Like the full oath?” Talin asked.
Cohen nodded.
“With the knife?” Rayner asked.
“Yes, with my SR44 knife and all.”
There was a long beat of silence, and Talin let out a low whistle.
“I bet that shit hurt,” Jovan said.
“You have no idea.”
“And now you see Mia?” Rayner asked.
“Yep. I look at Annis, and there’s Mia right next to her.”
“You’re seriously seeing Mia?” Talin asked. “You didn’t tell me that.”
“Yes, I see Mia.”
Talin shook his head. “I would give my right arm and both my nuts to see my lovren,
Lana, again. Are you on drugs? Hallucinogens? If so, what kind? And will you share?”
“No, I’m not on drugs, Talin. I’m drunk a lot, but no drugs.”
“When did you start seeing Mia?” Rayner asked.
“A few months ago.”
“Well, I guess I understand a little bit better. You want Annis, and there’s Mia next to her
all the time reminding you of your Tambaran,” Jovan said.
“Pretty much. But there’s other stuff I can’t go into.”
“I think you need to,” Jovan said.
“Can’t, man. I’d be revealing shit that’s not mine to reveal.” He wasn’t about to tell
Rayner, Talin, and Jovan about the atrocities that Annis had been through and how strong she
was, or the fact that her strength pissed him off so badly simply because he didn’t have any. He
wasn’t going to share about his deep self-hatred of not honoring his Mia in life, and he certainly
wasn’t going to tell about his outright envy of Annis’s Warrior spirit.
There was silence for a moment, and Cohen could feel their stares.
Jovan placed his hand on Cohen’s shoulder. “Are you serious, man? You think you can
see Mia?”
Cohen nodded his head.
Jovan removed his hand and looked at Rayner. “He believes he’s seeing Mia.”
“Fascinating,” Talin said.
Of course Jovan would use his gift—being able to get a glimpse of others’ emotions
through touch to see if Cohen was being truthful. They both probably thought he was losing it,
and maybe he was. Maybe Mia wasn’t real. It wasn’t like anyone else ever mentioned seeing her.
“You also got a whole lot of nasty dancing around in there, my friend,” Jovan said,
reaching for his beer. “You need to get that shit cleaned out, Cohen. It’ll eat you alive.”
“You realize that if I can see Mia it means she’s not dead, but she’s not alive either,
right?” Rayner asked.
Cohen nodded.
They sat in silence for another minute. Cohen waited for a sarcastic comment from one of
them, maybe some ribbing or some sage advice about all he needed to do was get laid.
But none came.
“You have no idea how blessed you are, Cohen,” Talin said. “I would give anything to
live with the ghost of Lana. Anything.”
There was a long beat of silence, and Cohen felt a stab of guilt. Here he was being
tortured by Mia, and Talin was telling him how blessed he was and how he wished the tables
were turned. Cohen admired Talin’s dedication to his mate, and he wondered if he could spin the
whole Mia thing within himself so that he looked at it as a blessing instead of something that was
driving him to madness.
“Well,” Rayner said, “let’s finish up and go see Mia.”
Later that night, Cohen watched Abby give a billiards lesson to Annis and Liberty. Annis
listened intently as Abby explained the grip of a pool cue and how it needed to slide gently
through the shooter’s hands.
He had overheard Annis tell Blake that the grip was the most difficult part of playing
pool for her because she was used to wielding a knife. Not that she held on to the knife grip very
tightly, but a pool cue required a certain finesse that she was having a hard time mastering.
Annis leaned over the table, flipped her braids over her shoulder, and Abby helped adjust
her cue. Annis’s long fingers delicately wrapped around the stick, her jean-clad legs held her
stance firm. The muscles beneath her chocolate skin rippled from the sleeves of her red T-shirt as
she moved the cue back and forth.
After the stick made contact with the ball, she stood up to her full height and watched the
action on the table. When a ball went in, she smiled broadly and turned to Liberty and Abby,
who were grinning as well. Abby said something, and Annis and Liberty burst out laughing.
Cohen couldn’t help but smile as well. His knees felt weak as Annis turned and caught him
staring at her. Her laughter faded, but the smile remained. Her golden gaze pierced him as Mia
shimmered to life next to her. Guilt flowed through him, and along with it came the rage.
Taking a deep breath, he tapped down the anger. “Nice shot, Annis,” he said, and he
meant it. It really was a great one.
Her smile widened. “Thank you, Cohen.”
She turned back to the pool table to watch Liberty.
Rayner came up behind him. “Is Mia here?” he asked quietly.
Cohen nodded.
“Where?”
Cohen motioned over to the pool table. “Floating right next to Annis, staring at me.”
Mia’s red-rose form swirled
, reminding him of wispy clouds on a summer’s day. His
heart ached as he watched her. He longed for the simple days and ways of his life with Mia on
SR44.
“Let it go,” Mia said.
Startled, Cohen turned to Rayner. “Do you see her? Did you hear her?”
Mia had never spoke to him before. What the hell did she mean? Let what go? He wanted
to say something back to her, but he didn’t want everyone in the room to know he was possibly
losing his shit.
“Nope,” Rayner said in a low voice.
“Seriously? You don’t see her? You can’t hear her?”
“Nope.”
“So what do you think?”
“Man, I think your bolts are disengaging from your screws.”
“You mean my bolts are disengaging from my nuts.”
“Nuts, screws . . . whatever, Cohen. I think you’re going batshit crazy.”
Chapter 18
Cohen made his way to the kitchen, tossing a glare at Blake as he got on the elevator.
It really irritated him that Blake and Annis got along so well, and he could see that Blake
had it bad for her. Which was fine, and none of his business, but it bothered him nonetheless.
He got down to his quarters and stood in the middle of the room. “Mia!” he yelled.
It was time for them to get some shit straight. If she was going to be hanging out and
talking to him, she was going to do it all the time, not just when Annis was around. If Rayner
couldn’t see her, she was dead. So she must be a figment of his imagination. And if that were the
case, then she should appear whenever he wanted her to.
Well, that was his logic, anyway. Whether it was sound or not was up for debate, just as
his sanity was.
“Mia!”
He slowly spun around the room, searching for her.
“What do you want me to let go of?” he asked quietly. Maybe if he lowered his voice
she’d appear. Mia had always been soft-spoken, and almost meek in her ways.
He was making himself dizzy with all the spinning. Instead, he went over to his dresser,
found a little Captain Morgan in one of the bottles, grabbed a glass that didn’t look too dirty, and
poured.
Cohen lit some candles that smelled like evergreen, turned off the lights, and sat down on
the throw rug that covered the bloodstain from his Tambaran. He couldn’t make the setting any
mellower. If Mia was going to make an appearance, then she would do it now.
“Mia?” he whispered.
As he leaned his back against the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him, he
remembered the fight he had with Mia when he told her that he wanted to move out of the forests
and to the cities. Which city, he didn’t care. He just need to get away from it all, get away from
always being needed.
It had stared off as a normal conversation, but quickly escalated into an argument.
“I do not wish to live in the big cities, Cohen! We are Forest Dwellers! I like the
simplicity of our lives!”
“Your life is simple! I am a well-known Healer! My life is the constant caring for others
—I have no peace!”
In the end, she had relented, as she always did. Mia had been timid.
“Mia?” he whispered as he watched the flame of the candle dance in the darkness. It
reminded him of the way Mia used to move—constant swirling and twirling, her red-rose
coloring so beautiful.
He looked around the room again.
Nothing.
Was he losing his mind? Why did she only show up when Annis was around? And what
did “let it go” mean? What should he let go of?
So many questions, and apparently, there wasn’t anyone to go to for answers.
Chapter 19
Blake paced the kitchen waiting for Annis to finish her game of pool. He was so jacked
up, he felt like bugs were using his arteries as their own personal freeway.
Tonight was going to be the night. He and Annis were going to get physical.
On the rational side, he understood that he couldn’t go to Phoenix. It would be like a
duck walking into a grove full of hunters, all with rifles cocked and loaded. He was the one who
had instigated the breakout of the SR44ians from Area 2, and he was on the Top 100 wanted list
the FBI liked to put up in post offices and send to police departments. It wasn’t like he could go
down to a cop function without a good dose of rightful paranoia. He wasn’t about to take that
chance.
But Annis was going, and so was Cohen, and that sat with him as well as if he were to
find out his father had been resurrected. And that was not a happy thought.
The elevator opened, and Hudson came in with baby Killian strapped to his chest and
carrying a tray with empty bowls and plates. Hudson’s eyes were glowing a fierce yellow,
Killian’s a lighter shade.
“Hey, man,” Hudson said.
“Hey. How’s Beverly feeling?” Blake asked.
“Like a sack of shit. The flu is a nasty one this year.”
Blake nodded and watched as Hudson put the dishes in the sink while his smiling son
grabbed his chin and said, “Dada. Dada. Dada,” over and over again.
“That’s right, big man, I’m your daddy,” Hudson said to his progeny, a warm, gentle look
coming over his face as he looked at the little guy.
Blake just didn’t get the whole wanting-to-be-a-parent thing. He just didn’t seem to have
the daddy gene floating around in him. When he found out his father was of the Colonist variety,
it had pretty much sealed the deal on the kid department. This was the end of his lineage. Blake
would never chance passing down the bad genes and having his kid, or any other heir thereafter,
end up being a mass murder or some psychopath to be seen on the evening news.
“Ray-Ray, Jo-Jo,” Killian said, pointing toward the Great Room. “Ray-Ray.”
“You want to go see Rayner and Jovan?”
Killian grunted and smiled.
“Let’s go then. Mommy needs to rest anyway.”
As Blake watched him go, he remembered the first time he had met Hudson. Hudson had
practically begged Blake for a reason to kill him, his yellow eyes glowing brightly in the night.
Now the guy had a baby strapped to his chest and was on his way to find “Ray-Ray” and
“Jo-Jo.”
Blake shook his head and continued his pacing. Jesus, he was so nervous, he felt like he
was about to lose his virginity or something.
He heard Annis bid a goodnight to everyone, and she came into the kitchen.
“Blake, hello! I was just going down to workout and then grab a glass of wine before bed.
Would you care to join me?”
Fuck. Yes.
“Sounds good.”
They waited for the elevator, and Annis asked, “So what have you been up to tonight?”
Getting up my nerve to seduce you.
“Not a lot. Just hanging. Chillin’.”
Jesus, he was such a liar. There was nothing on him hanging, and he wasn’t chilling. He
was on fucking fire.
As they stepped in the elevator, Annis said, “You seem tense, Blake. Is everything
okay?”
Oh, hell no.
“Great. Perfect. But before you go to the gym, I wanted to talk to you privately in your
quarters if that’s okay.”
“Of course.”
Blake shut his eyes and thought about pressing Annis’s body up against the elevator wall
> as their lips moved over each other. He imagined his hand traveling up her jeans, to her waist,
where her skin would be silky smooth. He would gently caress her breast, and then he—
“Blake?”
He opened his eyes and saw they had arrived on Annis’s floor. She stood on the other
side of the elevator doors looking at him curiously.
“Are you coming?”
“Yep.” Hopefully in more ways than one.
She opened the door to her quarters and turned to face him.
“What’s going on, Blake? You’re acting so strange tonight.”
Blake took a deep breath. “Annis, I . . . I want more from our relationship. I care about
you, and I want to . . . I want to make love to you. Tonight.”
Annis stood, stunned at Blake’s words. Make love? To her? Before she was able to
process the thoughts further, fear kicked up its head. She had never made love in her human
body, and every sexual experience that she had been torturous.
As he stood at the door, she stared at her friend. His dark hair had grown out a bit from
the stubble that used to cover his head, and his hazel eyes burned with heat. This was a male who
wanted a female.
Blake wanted her.
Unable to move, she stood frozen as he slowly came toward her. He gently set his hands
on her shoulders. “I know you have feelings for me as well,” he said in a soft voice. “We’re
perfect together, Annis. I want us to be a couple.”
Still unable to speak, Annis’s thoughts spun out of control. Yes, her and Blake did get
along so well, and she did have feelings for him. They shared the same sense of humor; they
liked the same movies and foods. She could be herself around him, and he wasn’t intimidated by
the fact that she was a Warrior. She trusted him and liked spending time with him whether it was
working out in the gym, or on the couch sharing a bottle of Chardonnay and watching movies.
His hand slowly caressed her cheek. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever
seen, Annis.”
Beautiful? No one had ever called her that. Strong. Capable. Tough. Words like that were
used to describe her, not feminine descriptions such as beautiful. Her heart might very well beat
out of her sternum it was pounding so hard.
“Can I kiss you, Annis? Please? I’m dying to taste you.” His thumb slowly brushed over
her lower lip.