by Alex Wolf
Laughter boomed from the door and I turned to see Valerie walking in with Jake behind her. She glanced in our direction and winked.
They walked over arm in arm and took the seat across from us. Jake scooted in after her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. They looked cute, but I was certain that it wasn’t serious. Jake seemed like the kind of guy she could get serious about, though. Maybe we were both doomed.
They ordered coffee and we all perused the menu for a moment. After everyone ordered, the guys chatted about their trip to LA.
Valerie looked at me. She had to know I’d be worried. They discussed us visiting them one weekend and seeing the sights, but it didn’t sound like a serious conversation at all. Just things you say but never end up doing.
Once breakfast was over and we were at the car, I knew it was time to face reality. I looked up at Gage and did my best to give him a smile. I really just wanted to forget everything. Get lost in schoolwork and not worry about him leaving or what he’d be doing.
“I need to go. I have a paper due and tests this week.”
He nodded and leaned down to kiss me.
“I’m going to try and write. You down with that?” Gage glanced to Jake.
“Do you have to go with her?” Jake asked Valerie.
Val nodded slowly.
Jake turned back to Gage. “Your place?”
“Sure.”
Gage kissed me goodbye and left.
Jake gave us a ride home and Valerie stayed behind for a few more minutes with him. I hurried up to our apartment, unlocked the door, and glanced around to see the mess we left behind. It looked the same, but nothing felt the same.
I made some more coffee to convince myself I didn’t need a nap before I wandered over to the table where my laptop waited for me. I powered it up and looked out the window, thinking about Gage. I missed him already.
God, you’re pathetic.
The door opened and Valerie walked in with a smile on her face.
She set her purse down and scowled. “Seriously? Working already?”
“Making coffee, but yeah. I’m way behind.”
She walked over and sat across from me, resting her cheek in her palm.
“We can’t get so caught up in them we forget why we’re even here.”
“Are you? Caught up, that is?”
I looked up at her. “I don’t know.” I sighed, knowing it was a lie. “I’m sure a lot of women are caught up in him.”
“He has a rep. I won’t argue that but he’s into you. Right?”
“Maybe. For now, anyway. What about Jake?”
She shrugged. “Jake’s great. Funny and hot. I don’t see it going anywhere.” Valerie yawned. “They’re growing as a band. About to hit it big. That means a lot of touring.”
“Yeah.” I knew she was right.
She grabbed both of our coffees, handed one to me, and settled in her chair to study. I started typing as I looked over my notes, telling myself that this was my life. This was what I needed to focus on. This was everything to me.
I made my way through one page of the document before I felt my eyes closing. I was so tired having barely slept at all. I pulled up my head to look at Valerie, seeing her passed out on the cushions. I sighed and saved my work, then stumbled back to my room and fell into my bed. I realized Gage had never been here. This was my safe place. I curled up under the covers and closed my eyes slowly, still thinking about everything going on between us.
When I woke up hours later, I blinked and looked around. It was dark, and I glanced at my clock to see that it was just past six. I needed to get up and work through the night to finish this damn paper. I needed to do well on my tests, so I could graduate this year. This was the end.
I was up writing until three in the morning. I wrote and deleted and wrote more until I had it right. I kept drinking coffee to keep going and finally when I thought it was good, I saved the document and walked to my room. Valerie was already asleep in her bed so I shut the lights out in the living room. The door was locked, and the house was quiet. I padded to my room and glanced down to my phone that was charging on the night stand. It was lit up. I dropped to the bed to check the screen. Gage had sent me a few texts tonight, the most recent being at one. I left my phone in the back for this reason alone. I knew I’d stop whatever I was doing if he called or messaged me.
I dropped the phone on the floor and fell into my pillows. I needed a few hours of sleep before getting up and starting all over again on another assignment. I needed some self-control, so I didn’t even read the texts and allow myself to get excited about him.
See? It’s possible. Just focus.
Gage
I tossed and turned in bed that night. It felt lonely, and the fact that my sheets still smelled like Bristol bothered me. It made me want her again.
I sent her a few messages, but she didn’t respond. Was she ignoring me? Done already?
Fuck.
Was I ready to be done with her?
I wasn’t used to women ignoring me. In fact, it never happened. Just one more reason I was so caught up in her.
I turned to my side and closed my eyes, willing myself to sleep. Finally, it worked. Well, after I jerked off and imagined her riding my cock. I came so hard I thought it might hit the fucking ceiling. That was just imagining her there with me.
You’re going to get yourself hurt with this one.
The sun hit my face through the window as I glanced around. I heard my phone vibrating as I yawned and reached for it. It was our manager. I also saw a text from Bristol.
I cursed as I swiped the screen and answered the call first. Martin wanted me there early to get some writing done. Something about family, kids, and blah blah. I needed to get there ASAP.
He had a place by the water all lined up and couldn’t stop talking about how amazing it was. The studio was available to us a week earlier than planned too, so he figured we could speed up the process. He had a point, and it was good, efficient business, but I couldn’t help but think about the next weekend. I’d planned on fucking Bristol the whole time, and even more than that, I was really looking forward to hanging out with her, even when we weren’t naked.
“Sounds good. I’ll book a flight and let you know when I’ll be there.” I ended the call and dropped the phone on the bed, then held my face in my palms. “Fuck.”
I closed my eyes and sighed, then picked my phone back up and scrolled through the messages.
Bristol: you ok?
I didn’t know how to tell her I was leaving sooner than anticipated and didn’t know how to respond yet. I shouldn’t even care. Usually, this wouldn’t even be something I needed to deal with. I’d just be like, bye.
I walked into the living room to check the laptop for flights. I booked one for that evening and closed the laptop, then heard someone walk into the room. I glanced up just as Jake walked into the kitchen. He fumbled around and put on a pot of coffee.
“What’s up?” He sat down with an empty cup in front of him.
“Martin called. I’m heading out tonight. Something about the studio being available early.” I ran a hand through my hair.
He stared at me, seemingly processing the information.
“Great fucking timing, right?”
“What about the rest of us?”
I shrugged. “He needs me to be writing. Said you’re welcome to come out as well. They got a place on the beach.”
“Maybe the girls could come out and stay at a hotel. We could take a day or two off. As long as they’re not a distraction.”
My heart thumped at the possibility, but I knew there was no way Bristol would go for it. She was way too busy. “Nah. They have school.”
“Fuck. Guess I should book a ticket.”
I slid the laptop over to him.
He booked the same flight then stood up. “Gonna go home and pack.”
He stuck around long enough to finish his coffee then threw on some clothes and left. I
took a shower and opened my suitcase. I stared at the closet. It sucked leaving Bristol here, but this was my life. She had enough to worry about already. Maybe this would make it easier on both of us. Forced to quit whatever this was we were doing. Could just blame it on schedules and bad timing.
I tried to pack light, knowing we’d be writing more than anything and the place would be furnished. I could do laundry and lugging extra shit around an airport wasn’t my idea of fun. I threw in several pairs of shorts and t-shirts and folded a couple pairs of black slacks and button-up shirts in case there was anything formal needed. Anything else, I could just go shopping for.
I tossed my bags near the front door and sat down with my phone. I opened Bristol’s message and read it again, trying to decide what to say.
Gage: I’m fine. Heard from my manager. I have to leave tonight for LA.
The bubbles bounced on the screen immediately. I smiled at the fact she was probably sitting by her phone waiting on me, but my stomach knotted up at the same time knowing she was more than likely disappointed.
Bristol: Oh.
Gage: I know you have a lot of stuff going on with school right now and need to focus. Maybe it’s better if I get out of your hair for a while.
There was a long pause. I didn’t enjoy typing it, but it was probably best. I couldn’t string her along any more. I wanted to tell her I didn’t want to spend a waking minute away from her, but it would only make things worse.
Bristol: Oh. Umm, ok.
Fucking hell. What was wrong with me? I’d given many women this same speech, and in person nonetheless. Why was it so different with Bristol? I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay right here with her in my bed for as long as I wanted. For maybe the first time ever, I resented my work. That scared me even more.
Don’t do it, Gage. Don’t string her along.
My fingers typed out the words before I could stop them. I was definitely going to need my man card revoked.
Gage: Maybe after we’re settled in, you could come visit.
Heart.
Thumping again for no apparent reason. Adrenaline coursed through my veins. If she came to visit maybe it would actually be bearable, though I’d get maybe ten percent of the work accomplished with her there. I didn’t know if I’d write a single word with her around, tempting me with her amazing body. Not to mention conversations with her were light years ahead of any other woman I’d ever met.
I breathed out a sigh of relief when the bubbles started on the screen again.
Bristol: You want me to come to California?
Too late to take it back, pussy.
My hands went to work again on their own. This girl was going to derail my career.
Gage: Yeah. We can talk about it when I get there. I want to see you again, soon.
Bristol: I don’t know. I’d love to but I just…
Gage: It’d all be paid for. House on the beach. You could set up a place to study. Whatever you need. I’ll work out the details.
I pictured her chewing on a fingernail or staring innocently out the window. She was smiling at the thought, and that did something for me. I wanted her happy all the time. And I wanted her next to me at all times, whether it was to hear about her day, her assignments, talk about music, shove my cock inside her—any and all of that. I wanted it.
Mine.
I called the rest of the band and let them know what was going on. I conveniently left out that I’d invited Bristol to visit. I didn’t need to hear their shit.
They all said they’d make plans to arrive in the next few days. I called Martin and let him know everything that was going on. He was happy. Everyone was happy. For now, anyway.
I locked up the apartment as Jake pulled around the corner to take us to the airport.
“What’d Valerie say about LA?” I asked immediately as we got into the car.
Jake snickered for a second and glanced over at me. “Not much. How about Bristol?”
“I think she was surprised. It wasn’t dramatic or anything and I might have mentioned her visiting the beach house.”
Jake stopped the car while it was backed halfway out the driveway. “The fuck, man? Bringing groupies to the rental? Where we work?”
My jaw tightened as I glared back at him. “She’s not a groupie.” The words came out through gritted teeth before I could stop them.
His eyes darted over to mine and he sighed. “Okay, Jesus. I just figured they’d stay at a hotel if they came. We have a lot of work to do.”
“I know.” I let out a sigh of my own. “Just an idea. I haven’t bought her a plane ticket yet.”
He backed the car out and turned on to the road. “Maybe it’d be cool having them there at the house.”
I knew he was saying it just to appease me. He didn’t usually kiss my ass like all the others did. I must’ve been pretty shitty with my reply about the groupie comment. I didn’t actively try to be an asshole, at least not all the time, and definitely not to people I cared about. Something about Bristol just took me from cold to hot at the snap of a finger.
I glanced back at the mountains as I left Colorado behind for a while. I’d miss it more than usual.
We got to Cali when the sun was starting to go down and rented a car to get to the beach house. I drove this time as Jake leaned back in the seat and checked his phone.
“The rest of the guys are heading out tomorrow since we do most of the writing.”
I nodded in agreement. We were a tight-knit bunch. Hadn’t had the epic fight yet. Hopefully, that wouldn’t change, though I was secretly a little anxious about the girls coming to the house. If they even agreed to come. Would that change things? I hadn’t really thought it through as much as I should’ve when I mentioned it to Bristol.
“The place is big. Everyone should have their own room.”
What if the other guys wanted to throw a party since the girls would be there? I hadn’t planned on having a ton of people here.
What was done was done, but I couldn’t shake the uneasiness settling in my stomach. The house was for writing and music and isolating us from the rest of the world.
I knew we’d hang out with some friends at a hotel or something, but we never shit where we ate, meaning a complete separation of business and pleasure.
I glanced over at him. “I guess you could hide your new girlfriend out in your room. I could hide Bristol too.”
He laughed. “Val is not the girlfriend type. She’s cool and everything. Bristol, on the other hand…” His eyes rolled over to mine. “This doesn’t seem like her jam. Musicians and clandestine meet ups? She’s more of a monogamy kind of girl.”
“What’s your point?”
“If we throw a party, how’s she gonna feel about it? You shooing women away left and right while she’s a thousand miles from home?”
I stopped at a light and glanced at my phone to see what road I was looking for.
Ocean Avenue.
Fitting.
I could practically feel his stare burning a hole in the side of my head.
I shrugged. “We’re just fucking around too. No way I can maintain a relationship right now. Don’t even know how long this trip will take, and she has school.”
As soon as the words left my mouth it was like a knife to my stomach. We were already approaching lightspeed toward ‘serious’. I stared at the signs and made a right turn.
I quickly changed the subject until we pulled up to the house.
It was gorgeous. The living area was all windows and sprawling couches on hardwood floors. There was a generous deck with a pool and grilling area, along with a place for guests to relax and stare at waves breaking on the beach.
We headed upstairs and found the two largest bedrooms and staked a claim. They all had attached bathrooms, almost like a big dorm. I had to give a silent “thank you” for our new manager. It was definitely the best place we’d ever stayed.
I tossed some clothes into the dresser and closet before unl
oading a few toiletries on the bathroom counter. The bedroom had a great balcony view of the beach and tons of natural light throughout. I could already picture fucking Bristol up against the glass walls with the shower steamed up.
I thought for a moment about owning something like this down the line. It was one thing Colorado didn’t have—the beach.
What the hell? I told myself it was just a daydream. I’d never cheat on Colorado. Though, I could have homes in both places. I could think of plenty naughty things to do to Bristol in Colorado or California. In fact, it was all I could think about. I was having withdrawals already.
I glanced down at my hard cock, willing it to go away. I could have girls here any time I wanted with the press of a button. It was odd. I wasn’t used to having this kind of dilemma to deal with. I thought the temptation would be greater—but, it wasn’t. After I met Bristol, I hadn’t felt like that was my thing anymore.
I sighed and headed downstairs, got some water, and joined Jake outside on the deck.
“This is the shit. Look at that view. Perfect place to write an album.” He let out a low exhale.
I nodded. “Wanna grill out for dinner?”
“Fuck yeah.” He gave me a fist bump.
We both hurried inside to check the fridge. It all sounded like the perfect way to relax. I grabbed a notebook to jot down some lines if any inspiration hit me.
I didn’t want to rush right out to the busy streets, searching for a muse. Not yet, anyway. Something told me everything we needed was right here.
The refrigerator was fully stocked with pretty much anything we wanted. I gave another silent “thank you” to the new manager.
I pulled out tri tip steak and chicken and set those aside before looking at the produce. Whoever shopped for us practically read our minds. I pulled out some zucchini to marinate and seasoned the meat with supplies from the pantry.
Jake helped out but I kind of took the lead. Grilling was my thing. He was known to use too much seasoning anyway. We took everything outside and fired it up, checking out the waves and people-watching in the process. It must’ve been a private beach because there weren’t many. Once the coals were hot, we piled everything on and kicked back.