by Alex Wolf
It was perfect.
Bristol
I received a few texts from Gage the first couple days he was gone. He sent pictures of the house and beach.
It made me want to be there even more. I was sure that was his plan. It was mostly him and Jake writing most of the day, even though he did say they hung out with friends too. I appreciated him telling me and at the same time I didn’t. The only image my mind could conjure was some wild orgy where everyone was drunk and women hung all over him.
I tried to tell myself I didn’t care. It was stupid. We weren’t committed to each other.
Gage and Jake didn’t seem like they’d be into that, though. They drank some but were simple guys for the most part. They couldn’t help where they had to work. They really should live it up and take advantage. My brain knew this was the correct way to process it all, but my stomach didn’t get the memo.
It didn’t help that women in LA were notoriously gorgeous and flocked to rockstars and celebrities. I was sure they’d love to sink their talons in a hot and upcoming star like Gage. According to my Google searches, they did long before Nine Muses even made a name for themselves.
Valerie and I studied our asses off to keep our minds off everything. At least, that’s what I did, and she was next to me the whole time. I breathed a huge sigh of relief after our last final, then immediately was hit with even more worry than before.
I’d considered working to earn some money and pay some bills around the apartment. I paid for some of my school and a portion of rent but that was it—the rest was all financed with student loans. There were some great bars and restaurants where I could earn tips before starting my last semester.
God.
My last semester.
Then I’d have to find a real job, and I was grossly unprepared. I was clinging to the belief there were plenty of teaching jobs available in Colorado.
Gage might not live here forever. I could see him sharing space between a few places as the band’s notoriety grew. LA and New York were my guesses. I laughed as I imagined moving with him somewhere and working. As if that would happen…
This was just a fling. Nothing more. I had to constantly remind myself of that any time I’d start to daydream.
Val and I left class and met up at the coffee cart near the cafeteria. Valerie paid then we walked to the apartment, both sipping away slowly.
“We’re done. We should go out later.”
I shot her a side eye.
She was practically shaking. “Fuck it. We’re done! Let’s take naps and stay out all night.”
I laughed. It seemed like a good idea. Why not? “Okay. Where do you want to go?”
We walked up to the door.
“The place we went with Lydia that one night. I want to dance.” She waggled her eyebrows.
I nodded as she unlocked our door. “I’m going to nap.”
“Okay, me too.”
I took off to my room letting my backpack drop on the floor with a thud. I stared around the room and took in a deep breath. One semester left.
I changed into leggings and a shapeless t-shirt. My bed practically called my name. All the coffee in the world couldn’t keep me awake right now.
I woke several hours later, blinking as I looked around the dim room. Grabbing my phone to see what time it was, I noticed a text from Gage. I checked the clock and noticed I had a few hours before we’d need to leave and opened the message. It was a picture of a beach and an open notebook.
Bristol: It’s beautiful
Gage: How did exams go?
Bristol: Great. All done now. Val wants to go out tonight. How are you guys doing?
Gage: Where you going?
Bristol: I think the place we danced that one night
Gage: Oh
Bristol: that okay?
Gage: You don’t have to ask permission to go out
Wow. What was his deal? Maybe I was just reading too much into it. It was hard to know through text messages. I needed to just change the subject. I wanted to tell him that I missed him, but I didn’t know if it was too soon.
Bristol: I’m glad you’re having a good time.
Gage: Be safe tonight.
Bristol: I will
Gage: Bye
Bristol: Bye
I dropped the phone to the bed, closing my eyes in the process. Most girls probably slept with a rockstar and understood it was just a fling. Here I was, falling for the guy.
Stupid. Stupid.
Gage was different, though. He was so complex underneath his public persona. I could hear it in his music and see it in his face. He was more than a hot body and I was positive I was more to him as well. Or was I fooling myself? Maybe my brain was tricking me into hearing what I wanted to hear.
Valerie tapped on my door and smiled as she opened it.
“Feel better?” Her voice was bright.
I nodded slowly.
“Gonna order Thai. We can eat before we get ready.”
I nodded and stood. Definitely needed a shower to perk myself up. I took my time once I was under the water and thought about my future.
I was free for a while before next semester. After that, I was graduating. This was too surreal—happening too fast.
Once I was out of the shower, I dried off and wrapped myself up in a robe. Joining Valerie in the living room, we poured wine and ate while chatting about the day and our plans that night. Valerie loved drinking and dancing. She was great at it and somehow, I managed to get by.
Tonight, I felt more confident. I felt beautiful. When I got ready, I straightened my hair and added a little volume to the sides. I did my makeup in warm shadows and a slightly darker liner before adding two coats of mascara. I took a break and walked over to my closet before rifling through my wardrobe. I found a cute chocolate-brown dress with a flowing skirt and ruffled top and pulled it out to take a better look. The length was great, just above the knees, and the top was fitted with a modest V-neck.
For some reason I wanted to dress more conservatively than usual. Gage was in my mind the entire time. The last thing I wanted was to get hit on all night.
I had some shoes that would go great with everything and walked back into the bathroom to check my makeup.
I pulled the dress over my head after sipping my wine and spun around. I had a lipstick that matched this perfectly and colored my full lips before walking in to get my shoes from the closet. Taking one last look in the mirror, I smiled at the reflection. I looked good. Was this new heightened self-worth from Gage? He did make me feel special. I found myself wishing I was dressing up for him.
I made my way into Val’s room. She was perched on her bathroom counter lining her eyes in black to match the little lacy number she was wearing. She glanced at me in the mirror and smiled as she finished her left eye.
“You look hot. Well done.”
“Thanks. For all this. We’re going to have fun tonight.”
She grinned. “Damn right we are.”
Valerie slid off the counter and grabbed some red lipstick, taking her time with it. She pulled out her phone and took a selfie of us before grabbing a pair of heels and walking to the living room.
“Nothing like a reminder about what you’re missing.” She murmured the words as she typed something into the phone.
“What’d you do?”
She giggled.
“You sent that to Jake, didn’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“Why?”
“It was more for you than me. They need to know what they’re missing out on.”
I frowned.
Playing games wasn’t my style and Gage already seemed on edge about us going out. Unless I was reading too much into his texts.
She took me by the arm. “Relax. I know what I’m doing.”
I shook my head at her and grinned. “Whatever.”
She called an Uber to take us to the club.
Val flirted with the bouncer as we made our way through
the door. She grabbed me by the hand and led us up to the bar.
I followed with a smile. The place wasn’t packed yet, and we actually had some room to breathe. It was kind of nice and much more my speed. Valerie always drank early and got the dancing in later when the floor was packed.
There were a lot of students in the room and we saw some we knew. Before long we were all clinking glasses, celebrating the end of finals. The drinks kept coming to the point I lost count.
What was it about being out drinking that made time fly by?
I found myself in a large group on the dance floor. The songs were great, and I moved my hips to the beat as I let myself go. Maybe Val was right. I needed to let go more often. It was good to forget all my problems every once in a while.
I was in the middle of a great Banks song when I felt two hands on my waist. I jerked forward, crashing into Valerie as she caught me. I whipped around, and a dark-haired guy stared at me with his head cocked slightly to the side.
“What’s wrong?” he asked above the music.
Val gripped me by the shoulder.
“I don’t know you. You can’t come up and touch me like that.”
He arched a brow at me. He was an attractive guy, probably used to his little move working. It didn’t give him the right to grab me.
I glanced to Val as he turned to leave. “Did I overreact?”
Valerie narrowed her eyes in his direction and pulled me into a hug. “No. I don’t know what it is about some assholes who think they can claim anything on the dance floor.” She grinned. “You do look hot as hell, though. I could understand why he’d want to try. There’s something about you that’s—different.”
I blushed.
“Anyway—I’m sure he learned his lesson.”
Any time someone offered to buy me a drink after that I politely declined. We kept dancing and Val had one more drink before the club started to wind down. Fortunately, we avoided any more incidents after Handsy Guy walked off.
We went out front and got into another Uber, still a bit buzzed. We’d talked about hitting up a diner but realized we could just eat the leftovers from earlier. I walked in first, kicking my shoes off in my room before padding out to the living room.
Val and I heated up the leftover Thai and sat on the couch to eat. She pulled her phone from her purse and giggled, turning the screen to me. Jake had replied to her picture earlier and told her she’d better be careful out there without a badass like him by her side. I laughed, wondering what Gage thought. I didn’t bring my phone with me so I could relax without checking it all night.
I missed Gage.
I wished he’d have been there with us.
When we were done eating, I went to wash the war paint from my face and get my sleep shirt on. I had nowhere to be tomorrow, and I was going to sleep in as long as I wanted. It was an amazing feeling.
I picked up my phone beside my bed and looked at it. There was a new message. I swiped the screen and read the words slowly.
Gage: Have a great time
Wow. I’d half expected some dirty, sexual text. Something more than that.
Bristol: I did
I wasn’t even sure he’d get the message until morning. My phone rang a few seconds later, and I jumped, answering quickly so Valerie wouldn’t hear it.
“Hello?” My voice was soft and nervous, knowing it was Gage.
“Bristol.” He sounded half asleep.
“Sorry. Did I wake you up?”
“No. Been up writing.”
He didn’t sound like usual. Almost sounded sad, but I figured he was just tired.
“How was the club?”
“It was fine. I’d rather sit in a booth with you and drink cheap liquor.”
“Same.”
Something was definitely up with him. His tone was sharp. He almost sounded irritated or restrained.
“Is something wrong?”
“No.”
“Umm, okay.” I chewed on a fingernail.
“I need to get to sleep. Just wanted to hear your voice.”
I wanted to tell him I missed him so much, but I didn’t know if it was too soon for that.
“Okay, well umm, thanks for calling.”
“Sure.”
Another one-word reply with a sharp tone. “Gage, did I do something wrong?”
God, why did I just ask that? Of course I didn’t do anything wrong. But still, I didn’t want him upset. It was probably something that had nothing to do with me. Maybe he had writer’s block or something.
“It’s my problem. Don’t worry about it.”
“I am worried about it.”
He sighed. “I gotta get to sleep. You looked beautiful tonight. Just, don’t worry. I’m fine.”
“I missed you.”
Jesus. Shut up already.
“Is that so?” His voice went from sharp to mischievous.
“Yeah. I did.”
“Are you in bed?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, just now got in.”
“Good.”
I eased myself under the covers, letting his voice wash over me. “I wish you were here right now.”
“What are you wearing?” He sighed. “Fuck, that was cliché, but I don’t give a shit. Tell me.”
I grinned and bit my lip without thinking as my body came alive under the covers. What was he doing? “I stole one of your band’s shirts from Val.”
“Good. I like you wearing something with my name on it.”
God, I needed him between my legs right now. Why did he have to be so far away? Why was it hot that he wanted to basically brand me as his?
“Gage… I want you.”
“Thought it was time to go to bed, Bristol?”
“You said that. And you sound tired.”
“It’s okay. I need to hear you come for me.” He paused. “Touch yourself.”
“I don’t…” My hand was already working between my legs, just at the sound of his voice.
“It wasn’t a request, Bristol.”
Oh my God.
His voice guided me to an intense release, to the point I whisper-screamed his name over and over as I clenched around my fingers. God, he was so demanding and persuasive.
How did he get me off with nothing more than his voice?
After I came down from the clouds a little, I could hear him panting on the other end. Did he just come as well?
“Gage?”
“Yeah?”
“You sure I didn’t do something wrong earlier?”
“No, it was… I told you it was me. It was nothing.”
“Please, you can tell me.” There was something about it being so late and talking on the phone in bed. It was just—intimate. I felt like I could talk to him about anything. It also felt like we were some kind of lovestruck teenagers, talking on the phone all night—in a fun and cutesy way.
“When I saw the picture of you, and you telling me you were going out earlier—”
There was silence for a moment. I started to say something, but he cut me off.
“I didn’t want you dressing up for anyone but me. I almost got on a fucking plane. I didn’t want you out on the town looking like that late at night without me.”
“What?”
“Never mind. It’s stupid and we’re both tired. We need to get some sleep.”
For some reason, relief washed over me. He was jealous, protective. He was worried about me.
“I don’t have to go out again until you’re back in town.”
Why did I say that? God, this man scrambles my brain.
“It wasn’t fair for me to tell you that. Especially when I can’t promise I won’t have to make appearances at parties. And, we’re not in a relationship. You should do what you want without worrying how it effects me.”
“I didn’t want to be there without you either.”
If smiles made sounds I’d swear he smiled at my last sentence. “Get some sleep, Bristol. Talk soon.”
I passed out as soon as he hung up the phone, completely spent from another mind-blowing orgasm at the hands, or should I say the voice, of Gage.
This guy was going to destroy my heart.
Gage
Los Angeles. It was always the same.
At least this time we were at a better place—more peaceful. I appreciated that. I spent as many hours as I could writing with the waves crashing in the background. Anything to take my mind off Bristol and get my work done.
That was the thing about music, though. It couldn’t be rushed or forced. It was annoying and beautiful at the same time, just like the girl I couldn’t get off my mind.
Once everyone arrived things picked up. We all had friends here, a wide variety of them. There would be nights out at this bar or that concert. A lot of it was networking. I definitely met some people that might help further our career. But it was busy. Too busy.
The dinners and the drinking became monotonous. The women came at us in droves, something I used to enjoy, but now I just wanted to be left alone. Everything was different from when we started out.
Life seemed so perfect back then. A different woman in my hotel room every night made me feel like a man. Now, I just wanted to write and make music.
I stepped back as best I could and let everyone bask in the success all around us. Jake met a girl and disappeared with her within a few days. I began to wonder if he really did have feelings for Valerie. I thought I had them both in my corner, but that appeared to be over. They seemed casual, and he didn’t mind leaving Colorado as far as I could tell. The other guys in the band were plowing into any groupie that would lift her skirt.
Time was starting to free up and I could have Bristol visit me any time. There was plenty of room and everyone else was distracted at night.
When we weren’t out on the town, we were outside eating and swimming and definitely drinking. Any time I wasn’t doing that, I was writing. The media was starting to swarm, and that worried me. I didn’t want Bristol to have to deal with that. After the time at the bar and the other time at the diner, I knew she wouldn’t want to be around all the groupies.