Ruthless Russian, Lost Innocence

by Chantelle Shaw

  ‘Are you going to live like a nun for the rest of your life?’ Jenny’s words taunted her. No, she denied fiercely, she did not want to remain a virgin for ever. Nor was she saving her virginity for when she fell in love. Love was an illusion. But the instant she had seen Vadim across a crowded room in Paris she had fallen in lust, and at twenty-four it was high time she discarded her innocence.

  Vadim knelt on the bed, leaned over Ella and captured her lips in a hard, hungry kiss, sliding his tongue into her mouth in an erotic mimicry of how he would soon drive his throbbing shaft into the welcoming slick heat of her femininity. Next time he would take the leisurely route and taste her honeyed sweetness with his mouth, maybe tease the tight nub of her clitoris with his tongue until he brought her to the edge of ecstasy. He would encourage her to touch him too. But right now just the thought of her slender fingers encircling him intensified his arousal, so that he feared he was about to explode with the hot, pulsing need that made his entire body shake.

  He broke the kiss briefly to reach into the bedside drawer, and donned protection with swift efficiency before he positioned himself over her and nudged her thighs apart. The faint wariness in her eyes made him pause for a second, but his blood was pounding through his veins, his desire for her an unstoppable force, urging him to surge forward. He slid his hands beneath her bottom, lifted her hips and entered her with one powerful thrust—and instantly stilled when he felt the tear of a fragile membrane and heard her shocked cry of pain.

  For a few seconds he stared at her in stunned incomprehension which swiftly turned to anger as his brain accepted the indisputable truth. ‘Your first time?’ he demanded harshly. He swore savagely in Russian. ‘What the devil are you playing at, Ella?’

  ‘I’m not playing at anything,’ she denied falteringly, shaken by his reaction. Perhaps naïvely, she had not expected her initiation into sex to be quite so uncomfortable. When Vadim had penetrated her untutored body she had felt a sharp, stinging pain, but already it was fading, and the restless ache in her pelvis was once more clamouring to be assuaged. She could not hide her confusion when he abruptly withdrew from her, and she tentatively placed her hand on his arm, thinking that he was angry with himself for hurting her. ‘Vadim, it’s all right…’

  ‘The hell it is,’ he bit out savagely. His facial muscles were so taut that he looked as though he had been carved from granite, and Ella’s stomach dipped as she realised that he wasn’t angry with himself, but with her. ‘If I’d had any idea you were a virgin I would never have taken you to bed.’

  He closed his eyes and in his mind he saw Irina. He had been her first lover, and making love to her on their wedding night had been a special experience for both of them. With Ella it was simply sex. But he was aware that her first time should have been special, with someone who cared for her, and he felt guilty that he had unwittingly stolen her virginity. She had chosen to sleep with him, he reminded himself. But he hoped she did not think his emotions were involved, because she meant nothing to him.

  The heated passion in Ella’s veins quickly cooled, leaving her feeling shivery, and sick with mortification. There was no hint of the hungry desire that had blazed in Vadim’s eyes when he had carried her up to his bedroom, and she felt stupid and embarrassed that she hadn’t warned him of her inexperience.

  He rolled away from her and swung his legs over the side of the bed, raking his hand through his dark hair as he struggled to control his simmering frustration. From the moment they had first met the chemistry between them had been explosive, and her passionate response to his kisses had given no indication that she had never had a lover. He turned his head to stare at her slender body, her skin milky-pale against the blue silk bedspread and her small, pert breasts pouting at him, tempting him to close his mouth around her nipples and feel them harden against his tongue. Desire clawed in his gut but he forced himself to ignore it.

  ‘Why did you do it?’ he asked coldly.

  Ella bit her lip. ‘I…I didn’t think it would matter. The fact that it’s my first time means nothing to me.’ She quickly looked away from him, stunned by the realisation that she had lied and that she had wanted him to be her first lover. She barely knew him, she thought despairingly, and this feeling that he was the other half of her soul was utterly ridiculous.

  ‘Really?’ He gave a sardonic laugh. ‘Are you sure you did not think that I would somehow be honoured that you had given your virginity to me? Because if you did, I’m afraid I must disappoint you. I don’t want a sacrificial lamb in my bed,’ he continued harshly, ignoring her swiftly indrawn breath. ‘I only bed experienced, sexually confident women, and I have neither the time nor the patience to tutor a naïve girl—especially when there is the added danger that you might fall in love with me.’

  ‘My God—you arrogant jerk!’ Trembling with humiliated rage, Ella sat bolt-upright, the violent movement causing her breasts to bounce provocatively, so that she quickly dragged the silk coverlet over them, her cheeks burning. ‘I would never fall in love with you—’ She broke off, blinking dazedly when his face was suddenly illuminated. For a second she could not understand what had happened, but then she realised that the power had been restored and the timer on the bedside lamps had been activated. The room seemed painfully bright after the dark, and the furious expression on Vadim’s face made her want to weep with shame.

  From outside came the sound of rain—big, heavy drops, falling slowly at first as the stormclouds broke. A gust of wind whipped in from the balcony and tugged at the curtains, and with a muttered oath Vadim got up and strode across the room to close the doors. Ella stared at the masculine beauty of his naked body, trailing her eyes over his wide shoulders and then down to his waist, hips, and finally his buttocks and long, muscular legs. Minutes ago he had lowered himself onto her and pushed her legs apart with one hair-roughened thigh, and the stark memory fanned the flames of the hot, pulsing need inside her that refused to die.

  What was she going to do—beg him to take her? she asked herself raggedly. Her self-respect was in shreds, and the realisation that her body still ached for his possession, even after his scathing comments that he did not want to bed a virgin, filled her with panic. His rejection hurt, she acknowledged miserably. But she would rather die than let him see it. She had to get away from him. He had closed the doors to the balcony and was drawing the curtains across them. Any second now he would turn around… Frantically she snatched up her dress and dragged it over her head. There was no time to gather her shoes or knickers; she simply fled out of the door and down the stairs, not pausing when she heard him call her name.

  The door to her part of the house was locked. She rattled the handle in frustration, remembering how she had bolted it earlier in the day, when she had discovered that Vadim was the new tenant of Kingfisher House. She heard his footsteps on the landing above and raced through the dining room and out onto the terrace. The rain was falling so hard that it stung her skin, but instead of running along the terrace to the French doors leading to her flat, she turned and sped across the lawn, desperate to put as much space between her and her tormentor as possible.

  The lights from the house spilled halfway down the garden, but the decked patio beside the river was in darkness, broken only occasionally when the scudding clouds parted to allow the moon to glimmer across the water. Ella stared down at the swirling river while the rain lashed her and mingled with the angry tears streaming down her face. First thing tomorrow she would phone Jenny and ask if she could stay with her until she found somewhere to live—because she would rather die than have to face Vadim ever again.

  ‘What are you doing out here? The rain’s like a goddamned monsoon.’

  His angry voice sounded behind her, and she spun round, lost her balance and almost fell into the fast-flowing river.

  Uttering a curse that singed her ears, Vadim sprang forward and snatched her into his arms. ‘Watch your step. You could be swept away, you little fool.’

 
Fury replaced the fear that had surged through him when he had seen her standing so close to the water’s edge. For a second he had thought she would fall, and he knew he would have had little chance of dragging her from the swirling current before she was swept away. He could not stand another death on his conscience.

  When he had first realised that Ella had run from the bedroom he’d had no intention of following her. She hadn’t been honest with him, and he’d felt angry that he had been tricked into a situation he would never have chosen. He did not want the responsibility of being her first lover. But he had been tormented by the expression on her face when he had rejected her. The flash of hurt in her eyes had been uncannily similar to the look on Irina’s face during one of their many arguments about how he spent too much time at work rather than with her.

  Ella should have told him she was a virgin, but the knowledge that he had been unnecessarily cruel had seen him drag on his trousers and chase after her. Now, as he stared down at her rain-drenched form and felt the violent shivers that ripped through her, an indefinable feeling tugged in his chest.

  Vadim’s scathing tone was the last straw, and the fact that he still looked gorgeous, even when his hair was plastered to his head, the rain running in streams down his bare chest and moulding his trousers to his thighs, set fire to Ella’s temper.

  ‘I must be a fool to have had anything to do with you,’ she yelled as she fought free of his hold. The memory of how he had rejected her burned like acid in her gut, and in an agony of embarrassment she lashed out at him, beating her hands against his chest until he caught both her wrists in his vice-like grip.

  ‘Be still, you little wildcat,’ he ordered harshly, snaking his other arm around her waist to haul her away from the river’s edge. He was breathing hard, his nostrils flaring as he fought the urge to claim her mouth and kiss her into submission. Ella shook her head, so that her wet hair whipped across his face, and she gave a cry of frustration when she failed to free her wrists from his grasp. The driving rain had soaked through her dress so that the grey silk moulded her body like a second skin, and as she squirmed furiously against him the feel of her pebble-hard nipples dragging against his chest drove Vadim to the edge of sexual insanity.

  ‘Let go of me.’ Ella had to shout above the sound of the rain beating against the wooden decking, but she had spent so much of her life keeping quiet, keeping her mouth shut so as not to annoy her father, that shouting was a revelation which restored a little of her pride. She was no longer a scared little shadow, flitting about Stafford Hall, she thought as she lifted her head and glared at Vadim. She was a grown woman, and she was hurt and humiliated and as angry as hell. ‘Just so you know—there’s not the slightest chance I would ever fall in love with you,’ she flung at him. ‘I didn’t choose you to be my first lover because I harboured some stupid idea that emotions would be involved. I know what kind of a man you are. You’re a notorious playboy, and I would never make the mistake that your last girlfriend, Kelly Adams, made, by hoping to touch your heart, because I’m well aware that you don’t have one.’

  ‘Is that so?’ he gritted, hauling her so hard against him that their bodies were welded together while the rain continued to hammer down on them. He’d had a heart once, he recalled bitterly, anger surging through him at Ella’s accusation that he was an immoral womaniser, intent only on seeking his own pleasure. She had no idea that his heart had been torn apart. The pain of losing his wife and daughter had been unbearable, and he had vowed never to lay himself open to such agony ever again.

  ‘The only reason I decided to sleep with you was because you push all the right buttons,’ Ella continued wildly. ‘You were right when you said the sexual chemistry between us blazed from the moment we met, and all I ever wanted from you tonight was your sexual expertise.’

  She knew a moment’s triumph when Vadim released her wrists, but seconds later she gasped when he lifted her off the ground and held her so tightly against him that she could feel the rock-solid length of his arousal pushing against her pelvis.

  ‘Well, if that’s really all you want, who am I to deny you, angel face?’ he drawled mockingly.

  ‘Put me down. I mean it, Vadim.’ Panic sharpened her voice when he ignored her plea and strode across the decking towards the summerhouse. ‘I’m tired of playing games.’ Once again she tried to fight her way out of his arms, but he was too strong for her. He carried her as easily as if she were a rag-doll, and as the warmth of his body seeped into her, and his heart slammed in time with her own, the fight drained out of her. Desire flowed like molten lava through her veins as she clung to his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his thighs, so that with each step he took the jutting hardness of his erection strained against his trousers and nudged insistently between her legs.

  ‘You’re right; the time for games is over,’ he growled as he shouldered the door of the summerhouse, stepped inside and immediately bent his head to capture her mouth in a devastatingly sensual kiss that drove the breath from Ella’s body.

  It was a statement of possession and a warning of intent, his tongue thrusting between her lips with such erotic skill that resistance was impossible. But her pride demanded that she should try. ‘I thought you said you don’t bed virgins?’ she reminded him savagely, when he finally lifted his lips from hers.

  ‘I’m prepared to make an exception for you.’ His wicked smile revealed his white teeth and reminded her of a wolf about to devour its prey. The summerhouse was dark, but his eyes gleamed with a fierce determination as he dragged the cushions from the garden chairs, spread them on the floor and lowered her onto them.

  She should push him away, Ella thought desperately. But her hands seemed to be drawn of their own volition to the muscular strength of his chest, and she brushed her fingertips through the dark whorls of hair that covered his satiny skin. Earlier he had aroused her body to the very edge of fulfilment, and the abrupt halt to their lovemaking had left her aching with a need that only he could appease.

  The combination of slippery wet silk and tiny buttons running down the front of her dress tested Vadim’s patience to its limits—until with a muttered oath he gripped the fragile material and ripped it to the waist, exposing her naked breasts to his hungry gaze. She was shivering with cold and intense excitement, and the first hard strokes of his tongue lashing one nipple and then the other made her cry out and arch her back, so that he drew one tight nub fully into his mouth and sucked until the pleasure was almost unendurable.

  The fire inside her was burning out of control, his earlier rejection and the scalding humiliation she had felt when she had fled from him forgotten in the maelstrom of sensations he was inciting with his hands and mouth. Her heart slammed beneath her ribs when he dragged the hem of her dress up so that it bunched around her waist, but she made no attempt to stop him when he pushed her legs apart and slid his finger into her slick wetness. Her heightened state of arousal from his earlier caresses had not faded and she was instantly ready for him. But, although he was more turned on than he had ever been in his life, Vadim was determined not to rush her. She had taunted him that the reason she had chosen him as her first lover was for his sexual expertise, and he was not going to disappoint her.

  Ella gave a moan of protest when Vadim lifted his mouth from her breast, and then gasped when he moved down her body and she felt his warm breath against her thigh.

  ‘No…’ Utterly shocked by the first brush of his tongue against her swollen vaginal lips, she instinctively tried to bring her legs together, but he held them firmly apart and continued the intimate caress with a ruthless efficiency that brought her to the very edge of sexual ecstasy.

  By the time he lifted his head she was mindless with desire, and when his hand moved to his waist she sat up and helped him drag his wet trousers over his hips. The throbbing length of his erection filled her hands and she stroked him tentatively—until he groaned and pushed her onto her back.

  ‘It has to be now, angel,’ he
muttered, drawing on all his formidable willpower to slow the pace and rub his swollen shaft gently against her, until she opened and he entered her with one slow, careful thrust.

  There was no pain this time. Just an incredible feeling of fullness as Vadim slid deeper and then withdrew almost completely. For a split second Ella was terrified that he was going to leave her again, and she dug her fingers into his shoulders to anchor her to him. His rough laugh told her he understood her fear, and he surged forward and drew back, sliding deeper with each thrust as he taught her the age-old rhythm that took her higher and higher, until she felt as though she were teetering on the edge of some dark and mysterious place, trembling with desperation to discover its secrets.

  He slid his hand beneath her bottom and tilted her hips, and each powerful thrust suddenly became even more intense. ‘Vadim!’ She cried his name and clung to him, almost afraid of the cataclysmic explosion of pleasure that ripped through her as she experienced her first orgasm. It was awesome and utterly indescribable. Nothing had prepared her for the exquisite spasms that radiated out from her central core and enveloped her entire body in a feeling of complete ecstasy. And as she arched beneath him and sobbed his name she heard the low groan that seemed to be torn from his throat and felt him tense, poised above her, his blue eyes locked with hers for timeless seconds, before he gave one final, savage thrust and threw his head back, his face a taut mask and his big body shuddering with the force of his climax.

  The sound of the rain beating down on the summerhouse slowly impinged on Vadim’s brain and dragged him reluctantly from his deeply relaxed state. It felt good lying here, cocooned in the soft darkness and shielded from the wild elements outside. His body was still joined with Ella’s—and that felt more than good, he acknowledged ruefully. It felt amazing. The tight sheath of her vaginal muscles held him in a velvet embrace, and already he could feel himself hardening again. But he should not have made love to her without protection even once, and it would be criminally irresponsible to compound the mistake.