You Belong to Me

by You Belong to Me (NCP) (lit)

  Some of the tension that had permeated the room seemed to melt into the humid atmosphere as once more Max stood and moved restlessly across the floor. "That seems to pretty well take care of the past. The next question is how do we deal with the future?"

  Julie watched as he made long strides across the carpet and then turned to stare at her. Pensively, she asked, "What future?"

  Max shoved his hands into his pockets. "The next six months, of course."

  Well of course. That was all the future they had together. "Just what do you have in mind?"

  Max took his hands from his pockets and stared down at his open palms. "I plan to make this my permanent home. I don't want the people here at the ranch or the residents of this community to know my son is a bastard, so I'd appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut about us not being married."

  Julie put her hands across her stomach as if to protect her unborn child from Max's harsh words. "I don't think of my son as a bastard."

  "It doesn't matter what you think, that's what he is." Max dropped into the chair he had previously vacated. "Can you do that for me, for us?"

  On the surface it seemed a simple request but on second consideration Julie became aware that it carried some uncomfortable implications. "For the next six months you want me to behave like a loving wife?"

  "Only in the presence of others, I don't expect the impossible. And in return I'll behave in public as I think a loving husband should."

  What a strange and unconventional arrangement. Julie sat for a few moments; her mind was a welter of disjointed thoughts as she tried to assimilate all Max had suggested. "I need some time to think about this. Can I give you my answer tomorrow?"

  "I want an answer now, or the deal is off."

  Anything was better than living with the tension of their present arrangement. "All right, we can give it a try."

  "Good." Max was on his feet once more. "I'll see you in the morning. We can iron out any details then. Good night."

  "Good night, Max." Julie watched him disappear through the door.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Julie glanced around Doctor Weatherby's drab waiting room. The other patients, an elderly couple, two pregnant women and a mother with a small child, chatted amiably. Now and again they cast furtive glances in the direction of Julie and Max. When Max reached for Julie's hand the two pregnant women nudged each other and smiled. To them Max must seem the perfect husband; if they only knew....

  A shrill feminine voice calling out her name interrupted Julie's morose thoughts. A tall, sparsely built woman in a nurse's uniform stood in the entrance to Doctor Weatherby's inner office. "The doctor will see you now, Mrs. Anderson."

  Julie scrambled to her feet.

  Max took her elbow and smiled down at her. "Shall we go inside?"

  The nurse stepped directly in front of Max. "Sorry, Mr. Anderson but you have to wait out here."

  Julie scooted around the nurse and sped down the hall. The sounds of Max's protests followed her all the way to the examining room. She was sitting on a chair by the only window in the tiny cubicle when the nurse entered some minutes later. "Your husband is one determined man."

  Julie thought, you don't know the half of it. She said, "I know."

  The woman handed Julie a skimpy little backless gown. "I'm Nurse Bowden. Get out of your clothes and put this on and then I can weigh you and take your blood pressure."

  As she removed her clothing and donned the skimpy gown Julie thought that some things never changed. When she was carrying Shannon had she gone through this same ritual so many times. She tied the gown with a little flourish and then stepped on the scales and waited for the nurse to adjust the weights and recorded the results.

  Nurse Bowden patted the side of the examining table. "Sit here so I can take your blood pressure." She quickly and efficiently completed the task and put the equipment away. "Doctor Weatherby will be in shortly."

  As Julie sat on the cold examining table the years fell away and she was once again a scared, very pregnant teenager seated on a cold steel table and waiting for a doctor to come and make his examination. It seemed ironic now that the only thing she had been sure of then was Max. She had been so foolish and so wrong.

  A tall, thin individual with angular features that were almost hidden beneath a bright red beard burst through the door and charged into the room. "Good morning, Mrs. Anderson. I'm Doctor Weatherby. Sorry for the long wait but we're rather busy this morning."

  He was not what Julie had expected; so much for preconceived ideas. "I didn't mind the wait."

  "Let's get on with the examination."

  Julie thought, as she was being poked and probed by a man she had met only minutes before, that there was no dignified way to undergo a physical examination. When the doctor had completed his extended investigation, Julie sat up on the side of the table. "Well?"

  Doctor Weatherby stripped his rubber gloves away and washed his hands in the tiny sink at the end of the examining table. Over the sound of running water, he said. "Get dressed and Nurse Bowden will show you to my office."

  Julie persisted. "Is my baby all right?"

  Doctor Weatherby used his elbow to turn off the water tap. "You're both doing as well as can be expected." He dried his hands on a paper towel and hurried from the room.

  Julie turned to Nurse Bowden. "How can he know that? He's never seen me before."

  "But he has all your medical records." Nurse Bowden patted Julie's shoulder. "And he's conferred with Doctor Barnes several times. The doctor's office is down the hall and to your left." Nurse Bowden called over her shoulder as she departed, "Hurry, please, the doctor's expecting you."

  Julie dressed quickly and made her way down the hall to the doctor's office. Through the open door she could see Doctor Weatherby sitting behind an immense oak desk. Max was seated in one of the two chairs that had been placed directly in front of that imposing structure. Doctor Weatherby smiled. "Come in Mrs. Anderson. We've been waiting for you."

  Julie came into the room, closed the door and eased into the chair beside Max.

  Doctor Weatherby leaned forward and addressed Julie. "I was just telling your husband that you seem to be doing quite well physically. Everything is progressing along as it should."

  That was good news. "Thank heavens. Now maybe I can stop being an invalid."

  The doctor's long slim fingers pulled at the sides of his beard. "Please don't misunderstand. It's still imperative that you stay off your feet and get plenty of bed rest."

  Julie began to protest, "But you said...."

  Max interrupted as he reached for her hand. "Darling, let the doctor finish his diagnosis and then you can ask questions."

  Julie snapped, "I only have one question, how long will it be before I can lead a normal life again?" That was a foolish question. Normal as she had known it was gone forever. "I'm sorry, Doctor."

  "The doctor seemed unruffled by her foolish outburst. "Have you been experiencing shifting moods, melancholy, unexplained crying and attacks of anxiety?"

  His diagnosis was right on the mark. "Was that in my medical record?"

  "No. It's common medical knowledge. You're suffering from what's called emotional liability. It affects all pregnant women at one time or another. The biological and endocrine changes of being pregnant bring an accompanying psychological disequilibrium. Added to that is the stress of just having moved from all that's familiar to new and strange surroundings. It's enough to put you into an emotional tailspin. How about physical pain? Are you experiencing muscle cramps in your legs? Are you having backaches?"

  "I've had a few muscle cramps," Julie admitted, a little reluctantly. "And my back aches if I'm on my feet too long. I also have an occasional stitch in my side if I've walked a great deal." Doctor Weatherby's eyebrows pulled together. "You shouldn't be standing on your feet, period, and I don't want you walking a great deal either. The occasional stitch pain is normal. So are the muscle cramps. Have you suffered from indig
estion?"

  Julie thought that he had hit on all the more unattractive features of pregnancy. "I did at first. It's subsided somewhat now. When it does occur I take an antacid."

  Max eased his way into the conversation. "I'll be around to see that my wife follows your instructions, Doctor." How easily the words 'my wife' tripped off his tongue. "And one other thing, I'd like to be with Julie when the baby is born. Shouldn't we be attending classes to help me prepare?"

  Doctor Weatherby nodded. "That can be arranged. But it's a little early yet. At the onset of the seventh month is when I suggest you start child birthing classes. Do you plan for the baby to be born here at the clinic?"

  In unison Max and Julie answered, "Yes."

  "Good." Doctor Weatherby shook his head in agreement. "We have an alternative birthing center but considering Mrs. Anderson's age and the state of her health, I'm glad you've opted for having the baby in the maternity section of the clinic with me in attendance."

  An anxious frown marred Max's forehead. "Is there some reason for concern?"

  "No." Doctor Weatherby replied. "But if we err it should be in the direction of taking too many precautions rather than realizing when it's too late that we had taken too few." Reaching for his pad, he began to write. "Mrs. Anderson, I'm giving you a prescription for vitamins and an iron supplement."

  Max asked, "Is there anything else we should know, Doctor?"

  Doctor Weatherby laid his pen aside. "Maybe there is one other thing worth mentioning. There's no reason why you shouldn't continue enjoying a normal sex life. That isn't going to hurt the baby and it may help your wife." He smiled. "Good sex helps get rid of anxiety among other things."

  Julie blushed a rosy red making Doctor Weatherby's smile broaden. "There's no need to be embarrassed Mrs. Anderson. Increased sex drive during pregnancy is not abnormal."

  Max chuckled, "That's good to know, Doctor."

  "But I... " Julie bit her lip and shut her mouth. Offering explanations would only lead to further embarrassment.

  "I'd like to see you again in two weeks. That's a little more often than I usually see patients at this stage but considering your state of health we shouldn't take chances. I've included a prescription for a sedative. Take it if you have trouble sleeping. You can have these filled at the pharmacy in the lobby of the clinic." He handed the prescriptions to Max.

  "Then we will see you in two weeks." Max slipped the prescriptions into his shirt pocket before helping Julie to her feet.

  "If you need me before then don't hesitate to call." Once again the doctor cautioned, "Mrs. Anderson, you must stay off your feet and you should guard against situations that put you under stress."

  Max opened the office door with one hand as he held onto Julie with the other. "Don't worry, Doctor. I'll see that my wife obeys your orders." He guided her into the corridor that led to the pharmacy.

  Julie shot him a questioning glance. He was certainly keeping his end of their bargain. He was behaving like a doting caring husband. It was only a charade and she'd damn well better remember that.

  They were in the car and driving down the highway toward Half Moon before either of them spoke again. Max eased around a slow-moving farm truck before glancing briefly in Julie's direction. "There's a truck stop a few miles ahead. Would you like to stop there for lunch?"

  If Max could be the perfect pretend-husband then she could be the perfect pretend-wife. "I'd like that very much."

  They found a booth in a secluded corner of the neat, well-lighted diner. A perky little waitress brought them water and a menu. "Would you like to order now?"

  For the first time in a long time Julie was ravenously hungry. "I'd like a hamburger with all the trimmings."

  Max dropped the menu he was scanning. "Make that two hamburgers and I'll have a cup of coffee with mine. My wife will have milk."

  The waitress scribbled on her pad and hurried toward the kitchen.

  Julie waited until she had disappeared behind the swinging doors before saying softly, "You keep calling me your wife. I'm not you know."

  Max moved his glass of water around on the table. "We made a deal, remember?" His boyish smile made her heart beat a little faster. "We agreed to make the situation as near ideal as possible. How else can we do that except to pretend?"

  "Pretend and live in the moment. I remember." Julie was beginning to doubt that she could do either of those things for five more months.

  The food was surprisingly good. Julie ate most of her hamburger and a small portion of her French fries before laying her napkin beside her plate and saying with a sigh, "That was delicious."

  "Would you like some desert?" Max pushed back his plate and pulled his coffee cup toward him. "Julie?"

  She suspected that Max had things he needed to do and was anxious to be on the road. "I'm ready to go."

  "Not yet." Max inhaled and then exhaled slowly. "I have something I want to say to you." There was a strange note of discord in his voice.

  Julie didn't want dissension to rear its ugly head, not now, not when for the first time in ages, they seemed to be finding some common ground for agreement. "Can it wait until we get home?"

  Max was not going to be put off. "I'd rather say it now while we're here on neutral ground."

  Julie set her elbows on the table and put her chin in her hands. "This sounds serious. Is something wrong?"

  Max shifted in his seat. "In a way this is breaking the rules we agreed to follow but I have to say this. I owe you an apology."

  It was not his words, but his contrite demeanor that unsettled her. Julie reached across the table and touched his hand. "No. You don't. I know you're trying to take care of me and even though I don't always show it, I appreciate your efforts."

  Max shook his head. "During your first pregnancy I was a rotten husband and I never realized it until today."

  "That's not so," Julie whispered, "You were a sweet and kind."

  A self depreciating smile creased Max's face." And stupid and thoughtless but it wasn't because I didn't care, it was because I didn't understand. You were being transformed before my very eyes. I didn't know how to cope. You had become involved in some secret and mysterious life producing process that I no longer had any part in; I felt isolated and alone. "

  His confession left her awed and a little afraid. It was not like Max to reveal his feelings to this extent. "It wasn't your fault. You were too young to be saddled all that responsibility."

  "And so were you, but you seemed to manage."

  Julie felt a rush of sympathy for the boy who had been forced to become a man too soon. "That was because you shouldered my burdens as well as yours." Until this moment she had not realized how much she had demanded of him. The swift sting of tears stabbed her eyes. "I'm the one who should be apologizing."

  "Sweetheart, no!" Max wrapped his long fingers around her wrist. "You mustn't cry. Remember what Doctor Weatherby said about situations that cause stress."

  Julie nodded her agreement but she couldn't stop her flow of tears.

  Max dropped her hand, pulled a napkin from the holder and offered it for a handkerchief. "The last thing I wanted to do was upset you."

  Julie dried her eyes and blew her nose. "I'm all right now. But Max...."

  Max stopped her with one word. "Enough."

  "I just wanted to say...."

  "We're breaking our own rules." Max offered her another napkin. "No more hashing over the past. It's behind us and even if we wanted to, we couldn't change it."

  That was true. "Then we'll concentrate on today." But Julie wondered if those sad recollections would not forever tether her heart to the past and fetter all her tomorrows. "Are you ready to go now?"

  "Not yet." Max signaled for the waitress. "I'll have another cup of coffee."

  He was stalling and Julie couldn't imagine why but she accepted his decision, settled back in the booth and waited for the waitress to bring another cup of coffee.

  When it arrived Max took a
sip of the steaming brew and sighed contentedly. "There's nothing like a good cup of coffee to lift the spirits." His fingers played around the rim of his cup. "What did you think of Doctor Weatherby?"

  With a wry smile Julie admitted, "He wasn't what I expected, but what I saw, I liked." Max wasn't interested in what she thought of Doctor Weatherby. Julie asked point blank, "What is it that you want to tell me?"

  Max grinned. "You know me too well. I have a present for you. I hope you'll accept it in the spirit it's given." He put his hand into his shirt pocket, took out a small manila envelope and slid it across the table. "I bought this over the weekend."

  Julie pried the flap open with her fingernail and shook the contents into the palm of her hand. A shimmering gold band winked up at her. "A wedding ring; but why?"

  "I thought you might be more comfortable if you had one." His words were bland but his look was guarded. "Try it on and see if it fits."

  Julie turned the small circle around between her thumb and forefinger and studied it carefully. "It looks a lot like the ring you gave me the day we were married." An old memory rose up to torment her. "Where did you get it?"

  "That's not important. This is no big deal. I thought you'd feel more comfortable with a wedding band to wear."

  Julie closed her hand around the ring. It pressed into her palm like a firebrand. "Where did you get this ring?"

  Max ran his finger around the collar of his shirt. "I picked it up in a pawn shop."

  "What pawnshop?" Julie opened her fist and stared down at the ring. "Where?"

  Max's concern was moving toward impatience. "I don't know the name of the place. It was a pawn shop over at the county seat."

  Julie raised the ring to eye level and examined the unusual bevel that graced the outer edges. Then her gaze moved to study the unique way the engraved orange blossoms wove around the small circle. "Is it possible?"

  Max took the ring from Julie's cold fingers, slipped it back into the envelope and dropped the envelope into his pocket. "Is what possible?"

  Julie's heart drooped with sadness. "That this is my ring." Painful recollections she had suppressed for years surfaced and came into chilling focus. "I sold it but only because I had to."