Always Rayne (The ALWAYS SOMETIMES NEVER Rock Star Romance Series)

by Sierra Avalon

  The concert isn’t that much different than the one I saw the other night except that Nic is making a point of looking at me every few minutes and giving me that smug grin of his. It’s almost like he wants to make sure I’m still there watching him and I haven’t left to go read a book or something.

  It’s certainly tempting. I’d much rather be reading a book but I have a job to do.

  “The guys sound great tonight,” Raven says to no one in particular.

  I’m not sure how she can tell. The music is so loud and intense it’s difficult to actually hear anything but noise.

  But the fans seem to love them. Just like they did in San Diego. The audience goes wild with Nic’s every move.

  Once the show is finally over, Brad grabs my elbow and whispers, “Stay with me,” as he pushes through the crowd and shuttles me toward the backstage area.

  The scene backstage is a little different than San Diego. The girls seem to be a bit brasher and a bit more forward with their advances toward the band members. I guess there’s no being subtle in Los Angeles.

  As soon as Nic sees me he makes his way over to the spot where Brad placed me before he excused himself to run some errands for Leo and Xander.

  “What did you think?” he asks.

  “About what?”

  He grins. “The show.”

  “Pretty much the same as I thought in San Diego. It’s really not my type of music. And it’s definitely not my crowd.”

  Nic eyes the outfit I’m wearing. It’s a black mini-shirt and little tan V-neck crop top that shows a little more cleavage and stomach than I’m used to. I try to pull the top down to hide the skin that’s showing but it’s fruitless because the garment is so tight.

  “You look like you fit in just fine.”

  “Are you saying I look like one of your groupies?”

  “We don’t actually have groupies but, no, I would never say that about you.”

  “You don’t have groupies?” I give him a dubious look and point to the horde of blondes who are now glaring at me. “Who are they?”

  Nic laughs. “By definition, a groupie is someone who follows a band and has sex with its members on multiple occasions. We don’t ever have sex with fans more than once.”

  I can’t help but look disgusted. “Good to know. Do you want that in the story or is that just for my own information?”

  “That’s for your information, Shakes. But I don’t think it’s a well-kept secret either. I’m always upfront with the girls I fuck.”

  “You’re going to keep calling me that, aren’t you?”

  He grins. “Haven’t you ever had a nickname before?”

  “Do I look like someone who has had a nickname?”

  “You do now.”

  “Great.”

  I glance over at the group of blondes who are obviously waiting for us to finish our conversation. “Well it looks like you’ve got a lot to choose from tonight.”

  I motion over toward the group of blondes who are still eyeing us. I’m not sure why they look so jealous. I have no intention of being intimate with Nic. I’m sure he’ll end up with one or more of them this evening.

  I give a big, fake yawn. “Well, I’m getting really tired and I think I’ve seen all I need to see for the evening. So if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go to bed.”

  “So early? The party is just getting started.”

  “For you maybe. But I’m not really a party girl.”

  He nods and then just looks at me for a few seconds. When our eyes meet, I can feel a shiver run through my body.

  “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met before.”

  I can’t tell from his tone whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Or maybe it’s neither, or both.

  “I’ve never met anyone like you before either,” I fire back.

  He laughs. “Tell me something about you that I don’t know.”

  “That’s a weird question.”

  “That’s not something about you. And it’s not a weird question.”

  “I can’t stand sports. I was always the last one picked for every team in gym class. I would rather have my fingernails pulled out one by one than be forced to play volleyball.”

  Nic grins. “That’s something I could easily deduce. Tell me something you’ve never told anyone else before.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Because I asked. And because you know you want to tell me.”

  I’m not sure why but he’s right. I sort of do want to tell him. I think about it for a few moments and then say, “Okay. Here’s something I’ve never told anyone. Not my parents. Not even my best friend.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”

  “I never finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird. I got about a third of the way into the book and just quit. I’m not even sure why. But it’s the only book Harper Lee ever published and I didn’t read the whole thing.”

  “It’s a great book. But I don’t think you should finish reading it if you don’t want to. Be a rebel. Leave it unread.”

  I frown. “Now you’re making fun of me. I tell you my darkest secret and you tease me about it.”

  Nic’s face turns serious. “Thanks for telling me. And yes, I was making fun of you just a little bit. But you have to admit you’re an easy target.”

  “So I’ve been told.”

  “When I was a kid I heard a rumor on the playground that the boys only made fun of the girls they really liked.”

  When I look up at Nic all the playfulness is gone from his eyes and he’s back to being serious again. Is that his way of saying that he likes me?

  “There’s no greater gift than a book, Shakes. As a writer, I’m sure you know that. I love to read and I leave no book unfinished. But that doesn’t mean you have to finish a book if you don’t want to. And I admire any person who can write. I wish I had that talent but I don’t. I’m talented in a lot of other ways but writing is definitely not one of them.”

  “And you’re definitely not modest either,” I tease.

  “I believe in speaking the truth and telling things as they are. I know not everyone can handle that but it’s the way I am. I’ve always been a take-it-or-leave-it kind of guy. If you can’t handle the heat get out of the fire.”

  “That’s kind of a cliché,” I say.

  “Which is exactly why I’m not a writer.”

  We both laugh. I actually like it when Nic laughs. A real, hearty genuine laugh. He doesn’t do it very often. He’s got his smug little grins and obligatory laughs like every celebrity seems to possess. But when he really laughs his face completely brightens and the heaviness he holds inside most of the time seems to vanish, at least temporarily.

  “What?” he asks when he catches me staring at him.

  I shake my head. “Nothing.”

  “Tell me.” It isn’t a request.

  “I like when you laugh. I mean really laugh. Not your cocky grin. A hearty laugh. It makes you seem more real and down to earth. More human.”

  “You’ve really got it out for my grin, don’t you?”

  “It’s just so arrogant.”

  “Most people call it sexy. Even People magazine called it The Sexist Smile of the Year.”

  “I prefer it when you’re more genuine.”

  “So noted.”

  I glance over at the blondes again and they look like they’re getting impatient. “I don’t think you should keep your one-night stands waiting.”

  He looks disappointed then nods. “At least you didn’t call them groupies.”

  “I’m a writer, remember. I like to be as precise as possible.”

  “See you in the morning?”

  I nod. “There’s no place that I’d rather be.”

  He laughs. “Now who’s not being genuine?”

  “I’m learning from the best of them,” I fire back.

  “And do girls only tease the boys they like the most?”

  I don�
��t reply. I just give him a wave as I exit.

  ***

  I’m up early. It’s no surprise that everyone else is still asleep. The partying lasted until the wee hours and then there were plenty of post party antics in Nic’s room. He’s certainly not quiet when it comes to his bedroom activities.

  I drag myself into the kitchen area and start a pot of coffee. I’m not much of a coffee drinker but I’m already dragging and can use some caffeine. Once I take a few sips of the steamy beverage I start to feel like a human being again.

  Sitting down on one of the leather couches with my laptop, I log into work. Of course there’s already a message from my boss waiting for me. He wants to know how the tour is going and is urging me to get an outline to him as quickly as possible.

  I stare at the screen for a few moments and completely panic. I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to write. I’m so far out of my element. I know very little about rock music and I don’t even like it all that much.

  I feel the same way about Nic. I still know very little about him and I’m still not sure whether I like him all that much.

  But I have to admit he is growing on me a little bit.

  I email my boss and tell him that I’m still deep into the research phase and it will take some time before I have an angle for the article. I know it’s probably not what he wants to hear but I hope it appeases him.

  At least for a little while.

  I also shoot quick emails to Brooke and my parents letting them know I made it safely to LA and that I’m still alive and kicking.

  As I finish the last of my coffee I hear some stirring coming from Nic’s room. A few moments later he stumbles out of the room followed by a half-dressed buxom blonde.

  She’s struggling to button her top and pull her ultra-tight mini skirt to a decent level when she spots me. It takes a few seconds before recognition registers on her face. I’m the same girl she was glaring at last night when Nic was talking to me. She gives me a catty smile as she places her hand on Nic’s arm.

  “I had a great time last night,” she says loud enough for me to hear.

  “I’m glad,” Nic replies.

  “Maybe we can do it again sometime.” She makes a point of thrusting her ample cleavage in his face.

  He shakes his head. “No repeat performances.”

  “You won’t make an exception for me?” She pouts.

  Nic laughs. “I don’t make exceptions for anyone.”

  The blonde heaves a sigh. “Your loss.”

  “Brad will call you a cab,” Nic calls as she heads for the door.

  “I’ve got a car,” she calls back as the door slams behind her.

  When Nic turns around and sees me he looks startled. Didn’t he expect me to be up so early? Or maybe he didn’t expect me to see the way he treated his one day rental when it was time to turn her in.

  I look down at my keyboard and just start typing even though I’m not sure if what I’m writing is even coherent. I just don’t want to look at Nic right now.

  “What are you writing?” he asks as he invades my personal space.

  I glare at him. “You know exactly what I’m writing. You hired me to write it, remember?”

  “You’re not going to write about the girls are you?”

  I give him a sarcastic little laugh. “That’s old news, don’t you think? Everyone already knows you go through women as fast as you change clothes.”

  “I’m always ready if they’re willing.”

  I roll my eyes then look back down at my computer and start typing again.

  Much to my chagrin Nic sits down on the sofa next to me. A little too close for comfort. He runs his fingers through his wavy dark hair in an attempt to calm down the bed head mess.

  I hate to admit it but he actually looks kind of cute with messy hair. Kind of like a little boy. Only Nic Rayne is too controlled to be vulnerable for too long. At least that’s the way he comes across.

  “You’re a tough nut to crack, Shakes,” he says.

  “I think I need to get you a book of quotations or something because you’re like a master of old clichés.”

  Nic places his hand on my shoulder as he looks over it to read what I’m writing and I freeze. Part of me wants to remove his hand from my body but another part of me actually likes it.

  And I want to slap the part of me that likes it because that can only lead to trouble.

  “Nic Rayne is the definition of selfish and arrogant,” he reads from my laptop. “It’s so obvious that he doesn’t care about anyone but himself and the fulfillment of his own desires.”

  When he lifts his hand from my shoulder, I look up at him. He actually looks a little hurt and I feel bad…for a spilt second.

  “Is that really what you think of me?”

  I nod.

  “Why?”

  I laugh. “Is that a serious question?”

  “I’m always serious, Shakes.”

  “You’re a womanizer. A player, if that’s what they still call guys like you these days.”

  “It’s not like that. These are adults. They have free will. I never lie and tell them it’s anything more than what it is.”

  “And just what is it? What does it mean to you?”

  He laughs. “That’s the point. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just fucking, nothing more.”

  “Did someone say fucking?” Leo says as he rolls out of his room. He looks like he’s in even worse shape than Nic. “We did plenty of that last night.”

  “Got that right,” Xander adds as he spills out of the room after Leo. At least his hair is combed.

  “What’s shaking, Shakes?” Leo says when he spots me.

  “Don’t call her that,” Nic snaps.

  Leo looks stunned. “Why not? That’s what you call her.”

  “Exactly.” Nic eyes Leo. “I call her that. You don’t. Got it?”

  Leo frowns. “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

  A few seconds later two girls, both in last night’s little black dresses, exit the room. Neither one of them looks like she got any sleep. They both have the remnants of last night’s make-up crusted on their puffy eyes.

  “I had a great time, Babe,” Leo says as he smacks the shorter of the two girls on the ass.

  She still looks a little shaken up as if she’s not sure what she’s supposed to do next. The taller of the two girls looks over at Xander but he just turns away.

  “Come on,” the taller girl says. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  Once the girls have gone Xander says, “Have you seen Raven?”

  Leo shakes his head. “No, Dude. After we picked the girls for the night I think she went to bed.”

  “Alone?” he asks.

  “Probably,” Leo replies. “I didn’t ask. And why do you care so much if she was alone. It’s not like you weren’t getting your fill all night long. Those two girls were smoking hot.”

  “Yeah, they were okay.”

  “Dude, they were almost as hot as Brooke.”

  Xander nods. For a split second I wonder if Brooke was with both Leo and Xander. She never mentioned it. She just talked about Leo. But would she actually tell me if she was with two guys at the same time?

  “If we didn’t have our one-night-only policy, I’d find that hot little piece.”

  “Excuse me,” I say and the three guys all stare at me. “Leo, you do realize that Brooke is my best friend and roommate, right?”

  He raises an eyebrow then tilts his head like a puppy who’s just heard his name being called. “You know Brooke?”

  “Yes. I know Brooke. I’ve known her practically my whole life. And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call her a hot little piece or any other derogatory name, at least while I’m within earshot, okay?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  The three guys are still staring at me, looking like scolded children.

  “Can I ask a question?” Leo actually raises his hand like I’m his te
acher.

  “Sure, what?”

  “What does derogatory mean?”

  Xander elbows his brother. “It means quit acting like an asshole in front of Harper.”

  Nic hops up from the couch. “Why don’t the two of you try to find Raven and see if she wants breakfast? I’ll order us room service if you find out what she wants.”

  “Will do,” Xander says as he pulls Leo out of the room.

  “Sorry about that,” Nic says when we’re alone again.

  “Sorry about what?” I glare at him.

  “Those assholes.”

  “You’re sorry about them? Look in the mirror. How are you any different?”

  He gnaws on his bottom lip like he’s nervous, or thinking about something. Maybe both.

  “I don’t want you to hate me.” To my surprise, Nic actually sounds sincere.

  “I don’t hate you.”

  “But you don’t like me very much either?”

  For the first time I can actually see a hint of sadness underneath his arrogant façade.

  “What’s not to like?” I say sarcastically. “You’re a big star. You’re a famous actor. You front a popular rock band. Everyone thinks you’re gorgeous. You’re every girl’s dream.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to be every girl’s dream. Maybe I just want to be one girl’s dream. Maybe I just want one girl to like me. The real me. Not Nic Rayne the celebrity. Just Rayne.”

  “And what girl would that be?”

  “You know what girl I’m talking about.”

  I’ve never seen Nic so serious. He’s no longer hiding behind his arrogant grin. He’s just looking at me, like he wants me to actually see him. Not the star. Not what everyone else sees. Just him. Just Rayne. The guy behind all the glitter.

  Before I can respond, Leo and Xander wander back into the room with Raven trailing behind.

  “Found her,” Leo states to no one in particular.

  “Real tough,” Raven says. “It must have been quite a challenge to try to find me in my own room.”

  “We’ll finish our conversation later,” Nic whispers in my ear.

  His breath on my neck and his close proximately make me feel things that I’m not so eager to feel.

  When I look up at him, he gives me his arrogant little grin again. It’s almost like he knows he’s whittling away at my resolve not to get involved with him.