Skin Deep

by Evans, Anna J.

  “I grew up helping out with six little brothers and sisters,” Christian said, rising and coming to lean on the back of the empty chair across from her. “I’m good with kids, and if Abby is like most babies she sleeps like the dead once she’s down. Am I right?”

  Nicky bit her lip, not wanting to admit he did indeed have a point. Whenever Abby fell asleep in her car seat, Nicky had to move heaven and earth to get her awake enough to sit up in the buggy when they went grocery shopping. It had driven Derrick so crazy she’d started riding in the backseat so she could play with Abby while they drove, keeping her awake until they reached the store.

  “See. I know a few things about kids,” Christian said with a smile. “And I promise you I’ll have your baby here by the time you crazy kids get back from your kinky time.”

  “Speaking of the kinky time, I’d like you dressed in about an hour.” Steve, the sound guy Jackson had convinced to help them, reached for another slice of pizza as he spoke.

  He’d been eating nonstop since he arrived at the hotel room three hours ago and showed no signs of slowing down. It was obvious he came by his impressive bulk honestly. With his thick brown beard, friendly face, and giant belly, he resembled a twen tysomething Santa Claus.

  If Santa was a big porn fan.

  Steve had grilled Nicky for over an hour for all the details on the former porn stars she worked with at the Hard Way, keeping at it until she’d fled to the deck pleading a need for fresh air. She wasn’t a prude by any means, but porn wasn’t really her thing. Why spend hours watching badly staged sexual scenarios that catered to the male of the species when you could actually be having sex?

  Or maybe even making love, sharing more than a body connection with another person. The way she and Jackson did when they—

  Not going there, remember?

  “Do you want both of us dressed or just me?” Nicky asked, blinking away the mental images inspired by thinking of her and Jackson making love.

  “Both of you. It could be tricky making sure the mics don’t show in tight clothing,” Steve said around a mouthful of pep peroni and olives. “It’s going to be tight, right? I can’t wait to see Jackson in some second-skin leather pants.”

  “Thanks, Steve,” Jackson said. “And here I’d thought none of the girls on the set would date you because of that sicko porn collection you’re so proud of. I didn’t know you were gay.”

  “Only for you, Jackson. Only for you.” Steve batted his eyes and all the men laughed. Even Ken, the rather quiet Asian man in charge of the cameras, chuckled into his giant mug of coffee. Nicky probably would have laughed, too, if she wasn’t so nervous.

  “I think I’ll go ahead and shower and get dressed now,” she said, taking her coffee mug to the sink and dumping the last of the contents down the drain. She was already hyped up enough, the last thing she needed was more caffeine.

  “Me, too. I’ll use Christian’s bathroom.” Jackson shot her a reassuring smile as they crossed paths. Nicky smiled back, trying not to think about how much more she’d enjoy the process of getting clean if they were to share a shower. She could use a little stress-relieving quickie right about now.

  Who was she kidding? She could always go for a quickie if Jackson were the man in question. She craved his hands on her, his voice whispering in her ear, telling her how to please him, taking away all fear and doubt with the quiet assurance of his dominance. She really was hopeless, head over heels for another dom before she’d even started divorce proceedings with the first man who’d taken control of her life.

  Maybe that was why Jackson didn’t want her anymore. He’d seen how weak she was and wanted no part of it. He’d said a submissive’s role required a lot more strength than a dom’s. Maybe he’d decided she didn’t have what it took to be his girl.

  So what? If that’s what he’s decided, it’s his loss.

  Nicky froze in the doorway to what had been her bedroom for the past two nights, shocked to her core. How long had it been since she’d felt enough pride in herself to assume anyone would be better off with her than without her?

  Years. At least two years.

  A part of her knew she had Jackson to thank for that, too. If he hadn’t made her feel so intensely desired, who knew how long it could have taken to recover her lost confidence? The guys at the Hard Way had made sure she knew her body was still worthy of interest, but it was Jack who had made the person inside the body begin to feel whole again. She owed him for that. Big-time, no matter what craziness had driven him to kidnap her in the first place.

  So if he wanted out of what they’d started without a bunch of drama, she’d do her best to let him go.

  Nicky sighed as she turned on the shower, ignoring the aching in her chest and the tightness at the back of her throat. She couldn’t let herself dwell on the likelihood of losing Jackson. There was too much riding on her ability to pretend they were a happy little BDSM couple.

  With the help of one of Christian’s many mysterious connections, they’d scored a copy of the guest list and a pair of tickets for a special scene being held at Under My Thumb, the club in the Valley Derrick had been frequenting before he and Nicky split. Derrick Sakapatatis was on the VIP list for the “Knights in Black Leather, Ladies in White Lace” costume event.

  The knowledge made her shudder. Barring some unforeseen change of plans, she’d be seeing her husband in a few hours. But this time she wouldn’t be alone. She’d be accompanied by her new dom, a man determined to help her get custody of her daughter. Though they weren’t going to let Derrick in on that fact right away.

  The plan was for her and Jackson to engage in some very public play, doing their best to capture Derrick’s attention and hopefully inspire some good old-fashioned jealousy, a tactic Nicky was cautiously optimistic would work.

  Even though he’d found her undesirable for the past couple of years, that didn’t mean Derrick was ready to see her serving another man. After all, she was the one who’d left him and she knew how that stung. Above all else, Derrick craved control of the people in his life. That craving had even led to an offer to take her back the day he’d tracked her down at her new apartment. It was only after she refused that he’d flown into a rage and snatched Abby from her crib.

  So hopefully he’d get nice and angry when he saw Nicky letting Jackson do so many of those things she’d never wanted him to do to her in public. Because the angrier he was, the more likely he would be to incriminate himself. On the off chance the threats he’d made had been a heat-of-the-moment thing, they needed him nice and heated tonight.

  Then, once his temper was boiling, she’d fan the flames by asking him to step outside for a talk. A talk in which she’d tell him all about her new knight in shining armor and do her damnedest to get any threats he made on tape.

  Once that was accomplished, the men monitoring the camera and sound feeds from a nearby van would call Christian and give him the go signal. He’d be on the move from his location near Derrick’s house seconds later. Even if Derrick left the club right after his chat with Nicky, Christian would still have plenty of time to get in and get Abby and get out before Derrick arrived home.

  They’d decided it was too risky to wait and go after Abby a night or two after Nicky and Jackson’s appearance at the club. Derrick would be on his guard and suspecting something from his soon-to-be ex. If he hadn’t changed the locks and security code previously, he certainly would then, and that would make gaining access to the home that much trickier and illegal.

  This was the best plan they could come up with and it seemed to be a good one.

  “Then why are you so nervous?” Nicky asked her reflection in the steamy mirror as she stripped out of her white T-shirt and jeans.

  Was it the chance of failure? The fear that she wouldn’t really be holding Abby by the end of the night? Was it anxiety over seeing Derrick for the first time in weeks?

  Or maybe it was the way her heart rate accelerated when she looked at the white, nea
rly see-through peek-a-boo chemise and matching frilly shorts she’d be wearing in front of an entire room of people. They hung on the rod near the hotel towels, taunting her.

  Even in her club days, she’d never been the type to go to a scene so scantily dressed. Leather shorts and a tank top with thigh-high boots had been more her style. She’d feel naked in the outfit Jackson had picked out for her. And even more exposed because he had been the one to choose the ensemble. It was obviously the kind of thing he would have wanted his girl to wear.

  Tonight she would be his girl. He would finally touch her, tease her, dominate her, for what might very well be the last time. And he’d do it all in front of a room full of people.

  Public displays weren’t usually her brand of kink, but Nicky vowed she was going to make the most of the coming hours with Jackson. Nerves be damned. She wasn’t going to let her last chance to be mastered by Jack slip through her fingers. She had to put on a good show for Abby’s sake, and she needed to feel Jackson’s strong hands upon her for her own sake. She needed the chance to say good-bye with more than words, to have one last kiss, one more chance to bask in the bliss of pleasuring the man she loved.

  God, she did love him. It hadn’t been some madness inspired by their decidedly odd weekend. The feeling was still there now, simmering inside of her, growing stronger every day.

  “Nicky?” Jackson’s voice at the door made her jump and her heart race a little faster.

  What was he doing here? Had he decided a team shower made more sense as well?

  Before she could second-guess herself, Nicky turned to the door without bothering to wrap up in a towel. She was still wearing her bra and panties, and it wasn’t like Jackson hadn’t seen everything she had to offer.

  “Hey. What’s up?” She opened the door, breath catching to see Jack standing in front of her wearing nothing but his faded black jeans.

  His massive chest was bare, every muscle sharply delineated from his morning workout at the hotel gym. It was hard as hell to resist the urge to lean forward and trace the lines of his six-pack with her tongue. She wanted to taste the light salt of his skin, wanted to kiss her way past his navel while her fingers worked the close of his jeans. It felt like ages since he’d had his hand fisted in her hair and his cock down her throat. She wanted to feel his hot, steely length shoving between her lips again, wanted to—

  “Um, Ken said . . .” Jackson’s voice trailed off, his breath rushing out between his parted lips.

  His dark gaze met hers and Nicky had no doubt he knew exactly what she’d been thinking. He swallowed hard and let his eyes flick down to take in her simple white bra and cotton panties. They weren’t nearly as scandalous as what she’d be wearing tonight, but apparently Jackson found them plenty interesting.

  Nicky smiled as she watched the crotch of his jeans grow tighter. “Ken said?”

  “He said to make sure to wear your hair up,” Jackson said, his eyes lingering on her breasts until Nicky’s nipples pulled tight inside her bra. God, he could make her ache with just a look, make her pussy slick without laying a hand upon her. “The cameras are hidden in the earrings he brought and he doesn’t want your hair getting in the way.”

  “Okay. Not a problem.” She stood in the doorway, unmoving, wondering if she should risk making the first move. “Is there anything else?”

  “No. Nothing else.” He shook his head and stepped back, his gaze dropping to the floor. Nicky’s heart sank in spite of herself. They were going to be together in a couple of hours, she should just suck it up.

  But in a couple of hours they were going to be putting on a show for Derrick. She wanted Jackson to touch her before the pretense, to let her know he still felt something for her. Even if it was only lust.

  “Jackson, I—”

  He was gone before she could finish her sentence, fleeing from the bedroom like his hair was on fire. That was how desperate he was to get away from her. His cock might still respond to the sight of her nearly naked body, but that was the end of it. Jackson didn’t want her anymore. It was as if he’d completely forgotten the passion that burned so hot between them just a few short days ago.

  “Then I’ll just have to make sure he remembers,” Nicky whispered as she closed the door and flung her bra and underwear onto the floor.

  She stepped into the shower, determined to scrub, soap, shave, and loofah herself into a state of unparalleled desirability. She’d show Jackson what he was missing and give him a night he’d never forget.

  Even if she couldn’t change his heart, at least she could make certain she would haunt his mind. Jackson would never enter another BDSM club again without thinking of what they’d done together. She was going to make sure of it, or die trying.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Under My Thumb was a lot classier than Jackson had anticipated. Compared to most of the clubs he’d frequented in Vegas, the joint was downright restrained. Gold-and-brown-swirled fabric adorned the walls of the main room, lending a cozy feel to the lounge area. Dozens of low tables and upholstered black-and-gold chairs surrounded the circular bar at the center of the room, and a waterfall on one wall all but eclipsed the music coming from the other rooms with the soothing sound of water tumbling over rocks.

  If it weren’t for the glimpses of bondage equipment and spanking tables in the darker rooms to his right and left, and the scantily clad submissive chained to a revolving platform above the bar, he and Nicky could have been in just about any bar in L.A.

  Well, any bar that allowed its patrons to bring their dates in on leashes.

  Just ahead of them, half a dozen collared women and a couple of collared men knelt on the floor next to their dominant partners’ chairs, eyes downcast and secretive smiles on their faces. The sight immediately put Jackson’s mind at ease about the personality of the club itself. Safe, sane, and consensual seemed to be the rule. The laid-back vibe of the place revealed its patrons weren’t concerned for their own safety or anyone else’s.

  In fact, many of the couples were laughing and chatting, the subs fetching plates from the hors d’oeuvres table and the dominants feeding their partners while they knelt at their feet. There was an almost . . . loving feeling in the main room. It was a pleasant surprise, and Jackson knew he would have completely enjoyed spending a night here playing with Nicky if they weren’t positive they would encounter her ex.

  “Looks like I’m missing an important accessory,” Nicky whispered, glancing at the rhinestone-inlaid collar of a very young blond sub as they made their way to the bar.

  “Do you think I should have found you a collar?” Jackson leaned down and breathed the words against Nicky’s neck, relishing the clean smell of her. She looked so beautiful with her hair up, her neck long and graceful. He could amuse himself for at least half an hour just letting his lips play up and down that smooth column of soft flesh.

  “There’s a woman selling gear at one of the tables in the corner. It’s not too late to buy one. I’d certainly enjoy following you around on my hands and knees, sir.” Nicky angled her body closer to his, the tips of her breasts brushing against his chest as he ordered them each a snifter of brandy.

  He could catch just the faintest glimpse of her berry-colored nipples through the white fabric of her lacy little top. It had been driving him wild since the second she stepped out of the bathroom and every male jaw in the hotel room had dropped to the floor. Even Christian, who had done his best to make his dislike of Nicky known, had gotten that wolfish look in his eye. Like he wanted to pounce on Nick and devour her whole.

  It had been all Jackson could do to keep from driving his fists into the faces of the very men who had been generous enough to help him. Friends or not, he couldn’t stand to see anyone else look at Nicky with desire. She was his, and no other man should touch her, even with their eyes.

  No, she’s not yours, bucko. She deserves a better man and you’re going to make sure she’s free to find him.

  Jackson paid the bartender a
nd took a deep pull on his brandy, wincing as the liquid burned a trail down his throat.

  He’d seen the way Nicky looked at him since they’d returned to L.A. She wanted to pick up where they’d left off at the cabin. Hell, he did, too, but it wasn’t best for either of them. He needed to get his head on straight and she needed the chance to be with a man who wouldn’t do crazy things like threaten her daughter’s life or kidnap her and try to tattoo her against her will. He and Nicky just couldn’t have that second chance he craved with every cell in his body.

  But they could have tonight. One last night that would have to last them a lifetime.

  “So what do you say? She’s got whips, too.” Nicky sipped her drink as she traced soft fingers up his stomach to his chest, making him shiver. Even through the thick leather of his sleeveless shirt, he could feel the heat of her touch. “I want you to spank me in front of everyone. Isn’t that why the legs on these little shorts are so loose? So you can flip them up on either side and see—”

  “Soon.” Jackson’s hand tightened reflexively on Nicky’s hip. He wanted nothing more than to find a bench and make her fantasy a reality, but they needed to take stock of their surroundings before they chose a place to play. His next words were even softer than a whisper. “Do you see him anywhere?”

  Nicky’s wicked smile faltered for a moment. “Not in here. But he might be in one of the playrooms.”

  “Then let’s take a tour.” They tossed back the last of their drinks.

  Jackson put one hand at the small of her back and led her into the room on their right. Eyes followed them as they walked, but he wasn’t surprised.

  Nicky was easily the most gorgeous woman in the room, and he wasn’t ignorant of the effect his own imposing bulk had on the average submissive. He and Nicky together were the poster children for the stereotypical fantasy BDSM—the tiny, delicate sub and large, muscled dom.

  They were going to have their share of observers once they settled in to play, there was no doubt about that. It wasn’t the way Jackson would have preferred to spend their last night together, but drawing attention was what they were out to do tonight. If every tongue in the club was wagging about the new kids in town, there was no way Nicky’s husband could miss them.