Defect

by Kerekes, Ryann

  “You guys probably want to go shower, get some breakfast. Come on.” I turn for the doors without waiting for them to follow.

  “What’s going on, Eve? Why are you being so weird?” Sam asks as soon as we’re inside the door.

  I motion for them to keep following me. It’s not safe to talk yet. We bring Alex into the girls’ dorm with us. Once we’re inside, I turn to face them. “It’s not just O’Donovan and Kane out to get me. Rena told me that they’re talking in the capital about the girl who failed the mindscan and seems to be doing so well here.” I can tell this is a lot for them to take in, and they’re running on empty. I am too. “Look, let’s get some food, and we’ll talk about it – I just didn’t want you making a big deal out of my win out there.”

  “Okay,” Sam says. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out together.”

  I nod.

  “Yeah, together, what she said,” Alex mumbles. He’s pale and sweaty.

  “Alex, are you okay?”

  “No. I hurt my leg.” He pulls up the pant leg and his shin is raw. Thick blood oozes from the long gash.

  We help him hobble over to Sam’s bed, and he lays back while Sam rummages through the lockers, locking for bandages and something to clean it with.

  “How’d this happen?” I ask.

  “There was a trap set up – a deep hole dug into the ground and covered by a tarp – meant to look like leaves.”

  “They say everyone gets different obstacles,” I say, holding his pant leg up.

  Sam looks up from dressing his wound. “Was it true that yours was the wolf?”

  After a moment, I nod. They stare at me for too long, with curiosity and interest in their eyes. I wish everyone would stop looking at me like that.

  Chapter 18

  We stand outside the building as the last of the names are added to the board. It’s still surreal that mine sits at the top. There are two people still missing – Bailey and Lexi.

  Kane comes out and exchanges a few words with O’Donovan and Will. I pick up that Bailey is close – she should make it back within the thirty hour time limit. But Lexi is a lost cause.

  A few minutes later, Bailey comes into view, limping along out of the forest. I imagine myself in her place, the last to finish with everyone else lined up, staring you down. Kane adds Bailey’s name to the last spot on the board.

  O’Donovan checks his watch one last time and turns to Will. “Go get her,” he says.

  Will walks to the Jeep, almost like he’s been waiting for this moment. He has to go rescue Lexi from the forest. Maybe that’s what he wants, someone who relies on him, someone he can protect, so he can be the strong one. I think about our conversation last night – when he let me lean against him. You’re allowed to show some weakness. I turn away. I’m not sure why, but I can’t watch him drive into the forest toward her.

  ***

  We’re given the morning off and rest in the dorms for a few hours. In the afternoon, though, training starts again. We gather in the gym. Bailey is gone, as is Lexi. We learn they’ve both received their assignments. I never realized that being assigned would mean being taken away so quickly. I guess I need to get used to the idea that I might not be able to say goodbye to Sam or Will or talk to Rena again.

  The guys and girls in Lexi’s crew still avoid me, like it’s somehow honoring her memory. In fact, everyone gives me a healthy dose of space, cautious around me after my win today. Sam says my strength scares them. But I can’t imagine that I scare anyone.

  Kane meets us in the gym, and there’s a sense that things are going to get even more intense from here on out. He has a large duffle bag slung over each shoulder. He opens the bags and spills the contents out onto the floor. A mess of night vision goggles litter the floor.

  “Everyone grab a mask,” he says, taking one for himself. We all take a mask and put it on. It feels clunky, resting too far down on my forehead. I adjust the lenses that protrude over my eyes. Kane crosses the room and flips off the lights. In the windowless gym, we’re plunged into blackness, but I can see everything faintly glowing green.

  “Gather around.” Kane motions us around him in a circle. “Tonight’s focus will be on hand to hand combat. I’ll measure how well you’ll be able to handle yourself in the dead of night guarding the fence against Radicals.” He paces the floor in front of us. “There may be times that all you’ll have to protect yourself and our city from invasion will be your wits and your own two hands. We need to be sure you can handle yourselves.”

  What he doesn’t say is that instead of guarding against Radical invasion, the more likely scenario is that we’d be fighting our own citizens from escaping. The thought has all my senses pricking.

  “But because in the real world, you won’t have control over the physical environment you face, I’ll be taking away your sense of sight.”

  We look around at each other. It’s hard to tell who’s who with these masks on.

  “The fights tonight won’t always be even, to prepare you for any type of match up. Those fighting will remove their masks. The rest of us will watch and study techniques.”

  My heart begins to pound remembering my match up with Bryce. I swallow down a sour taste in my mouth. The first match-up he announces is Jake and Alex. They’re friends. I have no idea how this will work. I don’t know what I’d do if I got paired with Sam. Jake and Alex haven’t moved, as if it’s still sinking in for them, too.

  “Off with your masks. Move!” Kane shouts.

  His voice startles them into action. They pull their night goggles off and move into the center of the circle.

  Kane takes his spot on the sidelines. “There can only be one winner – whoever’s left standing.”

  Jake and Alex make no move toward each other. For a second, I wonder what will happen if we refuse to fight, then dismiss the thought. I’m sure Kane would dream up an even worse punishment.

  “Fight!” Kane commands. “I don’t want to be here all night.”

  Jake takes a step toward Alex and swats his hands away from his face. It’s a half-hearted attempt. After a few minutes of circling each other, they begin to let their anger of this situation seep in and start to fight, with the sole purpose of ending it. Jake swings out and clocks Alex in the jaw. The sound of flesh hitting bone is sickening. Alex falls back to the ground and stays there.

  Kane lifts Jake’s arm overhead. “Jake, round one.” There is no joy on Jake’s face though. Sam goes to Alex and helps him up; I get his night vision goggles.

  Next up are Sabrina and Sam. The fight doesn’t last long. Sam easily knocks Sabrina off her feet and holds her to the ground, sitting on her chest until Sabrina is out of air and has to slap at the floor to end the fight.

  “Okay, Drew, Bryce.” Kane nods to the center of the circle where Sabrina is still on her hands and knees, struggling for air. “And Eve.” He turns toward me and smiles.

  Sam helps Sabrina to her feet, the steps forward. “You can’t do that – that’s two on one!”

  “No.” Kane turns to her. “This is only fair – our top three finishers. I want to make sure each of them has some real competition.” He shoves me forward and pulls off my mask in one swift motion. I’m wrapped in complete darkness. I don’t know how the others did this. After wearing the night vision goggles that made everything glow, my eyes can’t adjust. I blink, trying to see where Drew and Bryce are at.

  It’s actually genius of Kane to put me with these two. They’re friends, so they won’t fight each other. I’m sure they’ll both keep their attention locked on me. The outsider. The girl who beat them this morning.

  It’s as if he wants to show everyone once and for all that I am not cut out to do this job – that I should be sent back to the mental ward to rot in a hospital bed. I can’t let that happen. I won’t.

  I remember Rena’s warning: They will kill me. And I realize if I die in training, my blood won’t be on their hands. Is this how they intend to destroy me? I won’
t let that happen.

  I step into the circle. I can hardly see, but the glint of their eyes comes into focus, the whites of their teeth. Knowing I can’t rely on my sense of sight, or my strength to make it out alive, I tally what strengths I do have. I’m small and quick. And I don’t give up easily.

  “Just show us what you did to the wolf,” someone shouts.

  Drew and Bryce each take a step closer to me. I can sense they’re each waiting for the other to make the first move. I use their indecision to my advantage and sprint for the ropes. I run blindly through the darkened gym, and within an instant, I hear their footsteps pounding behind me.

  By luck, I run straight into a rope and immediately begin pulling myself up. My sliced hand screams in protest, but I ignore it and keep climbing. I’ve made it about halfway up when I feel the rope sway under the weight of another body. I look down. Bryce is climbing up after me. He grabs for my foot, and I kick his hand away and keep climbing. I’m almost to the top, with nowhere to go. Trapped. I have no idea why I thought it would be a good idea to climb.

  Bryce reaches for my ankle and doesn’t play around this time – he gives it a hard tug. I slip down several feet, until I’m nearly on top of him, but I don’t lose my grip. We struggle with each other, but neither of us wants to fall from this distance, so we hold on and begin to slide down together.

  When my feet reach the floor, Drew is already waiting for me.

  “Well that was stupid. You may have climbed a tree to get away from the wolf, but that won’t work here. We can both climb, too.”

  I remember another strength of mine in that moment: I don’t have testicles. I grab Drew’s shoulders and bring my knee up into his groin with every ounce of strength I have.

  He doubles over, releasing a hiss of air between his teeth and falls to the ground. I watch him roll on his side in pain. He won’t be getting up any time soon. I turn to face Bryce. He takes a step closer, wiping the sweat from his hands onto his pants. I notice that my hand is damp too. I look down at my cut hand and see warm blood pooling in my palm. I tore it open climbing the rope. And now that I know it, I can smell the blood. Salty and stinging. It makes me woozy.

  I struggle to get myself under control as Bryce comes closer. Drew is still down on the ground, grunting. If I can just get close enough to kick him too and get him onto the floor, maybe it will be possible to win this match.

  “Make her suffer, Bryce,” Drew calls through clenched teeth.

  Bryce springs at me. I don’t even have time to protect my face. His fist slams into my eye. The darkness closes in around me, the room tilts and spins. I stumble a few steps, and Bryce is on me again, kneeing me in the back, right in the kidney. I buck forward and drop to my knees. He brings his hand violently across my face, and I feel a smear of blood where his hand was. I fall to the ground, and he kicks me in the stomach until I curl into a ball, coughing and sputtering for air.

  I try to pull myself back up, and he brings his foot back and kicks me full on in the stomach again. I fall flat on the floor. This time, I stay there.

  Chapter 19

  I miss the rest of the fights. When I wake up, I’m in my bed. My hand is bandaged up, but I can see red seeping through in the center of the bandage. The dorm is empty, and judging by the light in the room, it’s late morning. I crawl down the ladder from my bed, and the aches and pains in my back and ribs make it difficult to walk. I cross the room to the sink and splash cool water on my face with my undamaged hand. The face looking back at me in the mirror changes a little more each time I see her. I have a deep gash in my lip, and my eye is swollen and bruised.

  I limp back to bed and crawl slowly up the ladder, one rung at a time. When my head hits the pillow, I fall almost instantly back to sleep.

  When I wake up, Sam is perched over me, looking worried. Apparently she’s been trying to wake me up, calling my name and shaking me for several minutes.

  I prop myself up on my elbows. “I’m okay, really.”

  “You need to eat. You already missed breakfast, come to lunch with me.”

  “No. I just need rest. I’ll come to dinner, I promise.” I don’t really feel hungry, but mostly I don’t want anyone to see me.

  She balances on my ladder for several seconds more, watching me.

  I roll over and fold myself up into the covers. “Just go away, Sam.”

  I hear her climb down and leave. I feel bad about pushing her away, but she needs to be worrying about herself, not me. I didn’t know if it was wise for her to be friends with me at all. I was starting to feel more and more like a marked target.

  A few minutes later, I hear footsteps in the dorm again. “I’m not going out there with you, just give it up.”

  “But you don’t even know where I was going to take you.”

  Will’s voice. Will is here.

  I turn, and he’s on the other side of my bed looking at me. He’s so tall, it doesn’t matter that I’m on the top bunk, he can easily see over it.

  “When I saw you weren’t in training …” He stops, and lifts my chin, inspecting the bruises on my face. “What happened last night?” His voice is demanding.

  “You weren’t there.” I don’t mean for it to sound like an accusation – it just comes out that way.

  “I was off, since I had night duty the day before.” He removes his hand from my chin, almost reluctantly, his thumb caressing my cheek before his hand falls away. “Who did this?”

  “Hand-to-hand combat in the dark. It was me against the evil twins.”

  For a second, he just looks at me. It’s too quiet, and suddenly I’m self-conscious lying in bed, while he just watches me. I rise up on my elbows. “So what are you doing here?” I ask.

  He looks down at the floor and runs his hand along the back of his neck, looking unsure. “I was going to see if you wanted to go for a hike, but since it doesn’t look like you’ll be up for that … maybe we could go for a drive instead.”

  I’m stunned silent for a second. “Oh.”

  “But if you don’t want to …”

  “No, that sounds … sure.” I know I’m not making any sense, but I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I sit up in bed and move toward the ladder. I swing one leg around and place my foot on the top rung. I wince as my body shifts.

  “Let me help you down.” Will’s hands find my waist and guide me carefully down the ladder until I reach the floor.

  I stand in front of him, looking up into his gray eyes, wondering why he is being so nice to me. Why he is always so nice to me. He is a guard here, an instructor. That is all. I must remember that, no matter how difficult he makes it.

  He looks down again. I swear I’ve never seen his confidence waver like this. It’s like he’s nervous around me. “Why don’t you get changed, and I’ll wait in the bunker … unless …” he pauses, drawing his mouth into a line and biting his bottom lip.

  “Unless what?”

  “Unless you need help getting dressed.” He meets my eyes again.

  “I can manage,” I choke out in a whisper.

  He nods and slips out of the dorm.

  I brush my teeth and comb out my hair. I avoid the mirror as much as possible, not wanting to face the girl I see there. Her blackened eye and hardened expression don’t match the way I feel right now.

  I select something to wear: a pair of black workout pants and a fitted long sleeve t-shirt. I ease the clothes on, moving my battered limbs as carefully as I can. I pull on my running shoes and go to find him, the anticipation already building in my belly.

  Will stands in the bunker, his backpack hanging over one shoulder. “Ready?”

  A slow smile spreads across my face.

  We head outside to the Jeep, and when I try to climb in, his hands are there, boosting me up. He tosses his backpack in and gets in beside me. The Jeep hums to life, and I remember my trip out into the woods with Kane. I try and remind myself that this trip will be much different.

  “Everything o
kay?” he asks.

  I swallow, looking ahead into the woods. “Yeah, just remembering what getting in this Jeep led to the last time.”

  He places his hand on my knee. His palm is warm and covers most of my thigh, a movement that makes my heart skip. “You don’t have to worry.” His eyes are serious, like he desperately needs to know that I trust him.

  “I know,” I whisper.

  He drives with one hand on the wheel, the other resting on my leg. He expertly maneuvering the Jeep around the biggest bumps and dips to make sure I’m not jostled around too much. I wonder if there’s anything he’s not good at. While he’s concentrating on the drive, it’s the perfect time to steal glances over at him. Veins stand out against his forearms. My eyes skip over the tattoo, like I don’t want it to be part of him. It is part of him, just like it will forever be part of me, but I know that’s not who he is.

  “Aren’t you curious about where we’re heading?” he asks.

  I’d been so caught up in him that I completely forgot to ask. “Of course. I just thought you were keeping it a surprise.”

  He considers it. “No, it’s not a surprise. Just a special kind of training I think you’ll like.”

  What did I think this was … a date? I’m an idiot. I turn to look out the open door as we push through the brush. The trees are so close, branches reach in through and brush across our arms.

  Will stops, and we climb out. I struggle to keep up. Even walking seems to suck the air from my lungs.

  “Don’t worry, we won’t go far.”

  I have to stop every fifteen seconds to lean over and hold my side while I catch my breath. The third time it happens, Will stops and frowns. He helps me sit down on a nearby log. “Okay, you just wait here. I’ll be right back.”