Eva craned her neck and looked up the steps and gained a limited view of the upper deck. Julian was at the back of the boat, talking to a man in a muted black suit and top hat. Anthony, she noted, almost certain. Eva blushed. She’d been so ravished last night, she hadn’t considered her screams of pleasure were probably heard by Julian’s staff manning the yacht. She put her embarrassment aside, determined in her task at hand. Her conscience was banging against her temples, screaming at her not to, but she reached for the corners of the black ribbon, none the less. She took a deep breath and was about to pull it open when she was startled by footsteps approaching. She spun around, faced the door and tried to look innocent.
‘Ah good, you’re dressed,’ Julian said.
Eva’s lips jerked into an awkward smile and she nodded.
‘A perfect fit. You look lovely.’
Eva’s smile became natural. ‘Thank you.’
‘Did you have a look at the rest?’
Her fingers twitched. Did he mean the round edged box? He could usually read her like a book; she doubted she could hide anything from him. She was glad she hadn’t opened it. He’d know, and he’d be angry. And he’d have every right to be.
‘Yes. Just a quick look. They’re all gorgeous.’
‘I’m sorry. I’m rushing you. I’ll have Anthony pack these up and you can look at the rest at home. I’ll stop by this evening to see how you got on.’
‘I’d like that,’ Eva said.
Julian kissed her cheek. ‘Don’t be long; we’re almost back at the harbour.’
He lifted her handbag off the chair next to them and passed it to her. ‘Don’t forget this. You might want to check your phone. Damn thing was ringing half the night.’
Eva sucked in her bottom lip, embarrassed that the ringing had obviously kept Julian awake. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t heard it. She was usually such a light sleeper, but last night she was practically comatose.
‘Sorry,’ she mumbled meekly.
Julian laughed dryly and shook his head. ‘I don’t need an apology, but you might want to suck up to whoever was trying to get in touch all night. It could be important.’
Eva pulled out her phone and almost gasped as she stared at her screen. Fifteen missed calls, three voice mails and eight texts - all from Nathan, except one lonely text from Shelly, hiding in the middle.
Are you around today?
Maybe we could grab a coffee?
Let me know xx
‘Ten minutes, okay?’ Julian said.
It was an order not a request, Eva knew. Last night’s game was over and now it was time to go back to real life. Her phone vibrated in her hand and the deliriously up tempo ring tone filled the room. She pushed the phone against her chest and placed her palm over the speaker, trying unsuccessfully to muffle the sound. She rolled her eyes as Julian turned around.
‘Is someone bothering you?’ he asked, the authority in his tone momentarily replaced by genuine sentiment.
Eva pleaded with her head to come up with a plausible excuse. Her mind was blank and the best she could manage was a pathetic, ‘Um.’
‘Who was that?’
Eva understood he wasn’t requesting the information, he was demanding it.
‘Just a friend.’ Shit, she wished she hadn’t said that, immediately suspecting Julian would think of last night’s conversation.
‘Just a friend?’ Julian repeated, his head was lowered but his eyes looked up.
Eva tried to strike a smile, and nodded. ‘Em-hm.’
‘Aren’t you the popular one with so many friends. Or is it just one in particular all the time?
Eva’s face reddened and she felt the start of a headache swell between her eyes. Julian didn’t seem prepared to let this go. Was he testing her? It certainly felt like it. Her leg twitched nervously. She had no idea why she was so desperate to keep it from him, but she was. Right now, she couldn’t think of anything she wanted more than for this conversation to end.
‘It’s just someone from work. I’ll catch up with them on Monday.’
‘Nathan,’ Julian said, certain. His usual distaste for the name present. ‘Is he bothering you?’
Only because of how awkward this is, Eva thought. ‘No of course not. Go on. I’ll follow you up in a minute.’
Julian’s eye’s narrowed and his smile was different. He looked concerned, or angry, or maybe just amused. Eva really wished she could read him as well as he could her. But he was a closed book and it was driving her crazy.
‘Ten minutes!’ Julian reiterated and walked away.
Chapter 27
Julian’s haste eased when their feet were back on land as they walked side by side down the pier towards Julian’s waiting car. Eva’s phone rang loudly from her pocket and she cursed herself for not putting it on silent.
‘What the fuck is this guy’s problem?’ Let me answer it.’ Julian grunted.
Eva shook her head and hit the reject call button as quickly as her shaking fingers could. Oh my God, was Julian actually jealous? It wasn’t appropriate to smile but she couldn’t help herself from enjoying a little drama in her head. That enjoyment quickly turned to worry, the more she thought about it. Nathan wasn’t the type to give up. Sure, Julian could scare him off for a while. She imagined if Julian was angry, he could scare anyone. But he wouldn’t actually hurt Nathan would he? If he did, it would be all her fault. And for what? All for some game.
Eva stopped walking and stood very still. She squinted to make out Julian’s yacht anchored in the distance. Her head hurt. Maybe it was the last of last night’s drink wearing off, or maybe it was the realisation that she had no idea what the hell she was doing. Julian confused the hell out of her and maybe they weren’t good for each other. What would happen when Julian got bored? The game couldn’t last forever. She knew she was just a project to him. A fun little challenge. A fixer-upper. But soon he’d give up and find the next pathetic girl to fuck silly.
Eva was disappointed with herself, she knew what she was getting herself in to. But it was getting so messed up now. She was starting to lean on him. She was starting to need him. That wasn’t supposed to happen. She knew she couldn’t have him - she knew that from the start. But it didn’t make her want him any less now.
‘It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?’ Eva said in awe of the view, and desperate to break the silence that had fallen over them.
‘Yes.’ Julian stood beside her but not close enough to touch. ‘I’ve been all over the world but I always come back here.’
‘Is this a special place for you?’
‘You could say that.’
‘Why did you ever leave?’
Julian exhaled deeply and shook his head. Eva stopped asking questions. She was overly aware that he didn’t seem to like answering them and he rarely asked her any. The ones he did were almost always rhetorical or an observation disguised as a question.
She tried to change the subject. ‘It reminds me of a holiday with my family. Years ago…’
‘You don’t talk about your family much.’
‘There’s not much to say.’
‘Tell me about your holiday.’
Eva looked away and scrapped her nails against the sides of her jeans. She didn’t know why he was interested. It wasn’t like he needed to make small talk to get her into bed. He’d already experienced her desires. He couldn’t possibly really want to know, could he? No one ever wanted to know. She hadn’t spoken about her family in ten years. But standing nestled beside him, his beautiful face watching her every move, for the first time she wanted to tell someone. She wanted to tell him.
‘It was supposed to be a family vacation, you know.’ She snorted softly, as memories stumbled around her head like reckless, drunken bodies. ‘It was supposed to be all sun, sand and ice cream. But he fucked it up. He always did. Just this time it was worse.’
They stopped walking when they reached a circular bandstand. Julian took Eva’s hand in his and led her u
p low concrete steps away from the water’s edge. He sat down, balancing on the edge of an iron railing and moved over so Eva could do the same. The shiny, pale blue roof matched the cloudless sky and sheltered them from an early morning breeze. A long time passed before Eva spoke again.
‘He hit me first, then my sister. We hid - like we always did, but my mother couldn’t get away. He was drunk, you know. ‘Eva’s voice crackled as she spoke. Julian sat still beside her. He only moved to rub soft, small circles around the bottom of her back. She sniffled hard and her face pinched like she was biting on a sour lemon.
‘His eyes did that thing where they rolled in his head. I knew he’d lost it. Really proper gone mad.’ Eva dropped her face into her hands and her shoulders shook as heavy tears dampened her face. She shook her head.
‘You don’t want to hear this. I’m sorry.’
Julian slid his finger under Eva’s chin and lifted her face just enough to meet her eyes with his. He fixed a windswept strand of hair back behind her ear and softly kissed her forehead. He didn’t say a single word.
Eva ran her fingers under her eyelashes and looked up.
‘He just kept hitting her. Even when she was on the ground. He just wouldn’t stop. She didn’t move. He left then. He always did. Probably to get more beer, but she didn’t get up this time.’
Julian nodded but remained silent.
‘I followed the ambulance. I needed to know she was still alive…but, I never went inside the hospital.’
Julian took both her hands in his. ‘Did she…?’
‘What? Die…no.’ Eva stood up and slid her hands into her jeans pocket. She was cold.
‘She made it. Gave evidence at my father’s trial the next year. He got charged with attempted murder.’
‘Jesus,’ Julian said, his thumb and index finger stroking his chin while he shook his head. ‘Is your mother okay now?’
Eva shrugged her shoulders. ‘Dunno. I haven’t seen her since.’
‘Christ, Evangeline. Why not?’
‘Cause I can’t forgive her. She watched while my father beat me for years and she did nothing. She didn’t protect me. It just went on and on…No one has ever protected me. No one ever will.’
Julian stood up behind her. Eva felt the heat of his body rush against her, sheltering her from the wind and from the memories.
‘And you think your mother was a coward?’ he snorted.
Eva turned around to face him. Her tiny frame felt enlarged by her temper. But it was no match for his broad shoulders and heaving chest.
‘What the fuck is that supposed to mean?’ she snapped.
‘Take what you want from it.’
Eva’s whole body shook and so much hate filled her, it hurt. She banged her first on Julian’s solid chest. He didn’t flinch. He stood still and let her release her demons. Worn out, she almost fell to the ground, but he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, kissing her deeply.
‘You don’t know my mother,’ she said through exhausted tears.
‘That’s true. I’m not pretending to know her. But you are.’
‘Pretending? I’m not pretending. Of course I know her. She’s my own flesh and blood.’
‘And you were just a child when you left her. Everything is different through a child’s eyes.’
‘And I suppose you would know?’
‘Yes. Yes, I would know.’ Julian’s grip tightened. ‘Don’t judge your mother for something you don’t understand. You can’t hide behind a shitty childhood for the rest of your life.’
‘You can’t save me, Julian. No one can.’
‘No one can because you don’t let them try.’
‘Stop it. Stop pretending you care about me. You don’t want to fall in love, I know that. And you know what? Neither do I. So what’s the point of all this crap?’
‘Love is overrated,’ Julian said.
‘Maybe.’ Eva was disappointed by how unconvincing her reply sounded. She never wanted a relationship. People change and someone always ended up getting hurt. She never wanted to be that someone. But it was too late. It hurt already.
‘Let’s get one thing straight. I won’t march down the aisle wearing a monkey suit and ask you to have my babies. That’s all fantasy bollocks’
‘Bollocks? Eva repeated, distastefully.
‘I wasn’t finished… I’m not Prince Charming, Evangeline. But I will protect you. From everyone I need to, including you.’
‘I don’t need protecting from myself.’
Julian didn’t reply.
‘I don’t, Julian. You can’t say shit like that.’
‘I just did.’
Eva folded her arms and struggled to come up with a better argument. ‘I thought you were in a hurry to get to work.’
Julian tossed his shoulders. ‘Some things are more important.’
Eva tried not to let him see the smile that lit up her face. Maybe Julian was deeper than she’d given him credit for. She sat back down on the metal railing. He followed and lifted his arm, making room for her head on his chest. A comfortable silence fell over them.
‘Don’t over complicate things,’ Julian said after a while, softly stroking her hair. ‘It is what is.’
Eva shot upright as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She wasn’t stupid. So why was he treating her like she was, with this, it is what it is bollocks? It was patronising and she resented it. Eva snorted and looked away. Everything in Julian’s life came easy to him. Women, money, boats, sex. Bloody hell, she bet he’d won any game he’d ever played. She wasn’t going to be his prize. One he could just discard with the rest when he was finished. Oh hell, she wanted to - sure. Wouldn’t any women, she consoled herself. But her damn stubborn inner bitch had all warning sirens blaring.
Eva stood up and turned to face him, her hands on her hips. The corners of his lips began to curl and she suspected he might laugh. She instantly regretted the dramatic stance.
‘It’s so simple for you, isn’t it? It’s all just one big game. Well this isn’t fun anymore. I don’t want to play.’ She turned her back, afraid of his reaction.
Julian caught her arm and spun her back to face him. ‘Don’t do this. Don’t spoil what we have.’
‘We have nothing.’ She pulled herself roughly free from his grip. ‘Please, stop being nice to me. Not if you don’t really mean it.’
Eva’s phone vibrated demandingly in her jeans pocket.
‘Leave it,’ Julian whispered, leaning closer to kiss her neck.
‘I have to…’
‘Evangeline I said not now.’ Julian stopped kissing her, rose to his full height and shot her a disapproving glance.
‘Hello.’ Eva’s voice echoed around the early morning pier.
She returned Julian’s stare through hurting eyes. Maybe she could read him after all. She knew what came next. The wind suddenly felt colder than it had before and Eva shivered as she tried to get a grip on the situation.
Julian rubbed his hand across his forehead, just once .He took off his suit jacket and draped it across her shivering shoulders, turned his back and slowly walked away.
Chapter 28
‘Damn heat wave,’ Eva said out loud as if the clothes in her wardrobe could reply. Of course, like everyone else in the county, she was loving the ten degrees above average temperature. It gave her body a sun-kissed glow, but it left her with very limited work attire. Hot pants and a bikini may have been fine for lounging on the balcony, but she doubted Mr Doe would be impressed if she arrived into work dressed similarly; tanned shoulders or not. The hangers squeaked and groaned as she pushed dark blouses and heavy, winter trousers to the side. She tutted repeatedly.
Defeated, she glanced at the far corner of her bedroom where the countless white boxes were stacked. Julian was as good as his word. The parcels had arrived on Saturday, shortly after she got home from Dun Laoghaire. There was no note, or message or explanation. The box with the silky black ribbon was absent. The
delivery man hadn’t conversed outside of checking the address was correct and asking her to sign. She’d spent most of Saturday afternoon sulking, ignoring the boxes and constantly checking her phone and emails for updates.
There were endless messages from Nathan and some from Shelly, but none from Julian. She’d wanted to ignore Nathan, but her damn need to be polite had gotten in the way. She sent a breezy ‘enjoy the weekend,’ text and he’d finally taken the hint and stopped badgering her. Her reply to Shelly involved the suggestion of wine and a Chinese takeaway. And the response had resulted in spending the evening telling her all about Julian, drinking way too much and Shelly leaving with the contents of at least five boxes.
But now it was Monday morning and Eva had no alcohol to lean on, no best friend to bitch to and nothing to bloody wear. She sighed heavily and rummaged for the box containing her favourite outfit. The sleeveless, cream, silk blouse and crop, coral trousers complimented her slim legs and dark hair. She coupled the outfit with too-high-for-comfort wedges and raced out the door. Damn it, Julian had just won again.
Eva noticed turning heads on her commute to the office and she liked it - a lot. She quickened her pace as she walked past already open shops on Grafton Street. The city was coming to life with tourists and shoppers. And Eva knew, without checking her watch, that she was at least half an hour late for work. Instead of breaking into a mad panicked dash for the office, she stopped, leaned against a shop wall and tried to compose herself.
This was her second late morning in as many weeks. She waited for anxiety to take hold as it normally did in circumstance outside of her control. But this time was different, she was different. Her mind was so full with thoughts of Julian, there was absolutely no room in her head for anything else. Even the worry of Mia’s certain bollocking at her tardiness failed to completely unravel her.
Eva made it to her desk almost unnoticed. Except for Nathan, of course. He swivelled his chair, raised an eyebrow and winked. Eva forced a smile before sliding into her chair. A takeaway coffee waited for her and small piece of paper peeked out from underneath, just enough to reveal two hand written kisses. Eva gritted her teeth before turning around, flicked her chin towards Nathan and turned back just as quickly. Compared to Julian’s fine Arabica, the aroma in front of her stank like malt vinegar. She knew she was being unreasonable. She drank that same coffee for years; it was practically one of her five a day. But Nathan had tarnished it now. And she’d foolishly let him do the same to Julian.
Rules of Harte (Harte Series #1) Page 19