Eva pulled her top lip between her thumb and index finger as she mulled over the right words to approach Nathan. She really wished she could ask Julian what to say. She could almost hear the sound of his confident smirk in her head, and she could imagine his eyes widening, just slightly, as he’d rise to the challenge. He’d probably confine himself to two brief words…fuck and off. Eva decided on something less profound and slightly longer. She rehearsed it in her head until it sounded just right. Confident but not cocky. Certain but not rude. She would gently explain that she’d prefer to just be friends and hope Nathan wouldn’t be too upset. He would have to understand. God, she was so out of her depth.
Three uses of the bathroom later, she finally plucked up the courage to tip Nathan on the shoulder. He slid the phone between his chin and shoulder, lifted his right hand from typing frantically on the keypad and pointed his index finger in the air. Eva hadn’t bargained for having to hang on a second; that was more than enough time to unravel her. But Nathan looked quite sweet, if not an overzealous nerd. This timid guy was no match for Julian. Guilt burned inside her like acid. Nathan was the vanilla Mr Good-guy. The kind you married. And she was about to reject him. She was about to do what had been done to her all her life. Jesus, she’d never felt like such a bitch before.
Maybe she’d read too much into Nathan’s intentions. She’d had a fair share of booze, her judgement wasn’t exactly without cloudiness. Maybe Nathan only meant they’d go to the ball as friends. He hadn’t tried anything on. If it wasn’t for Julian, she’d be more than delighted with his offer. Oh God, she needed more time to think. She scrunched her nose, tapped his shoulder again and whispered that she’d talk to him later. Nathan smiled and seemed relieved to revert his full attention back to the phone call.
Eva’s caller display was lit up like a Christmas tree. She’d been so distracted by her personal life, she’d forgotten to do any work all morning. She could feel Mia’s eyes on her from across the room. She was right. She looked up to find Mia glaring, her thumb pressed against her ear and her baby finger touching her lips. Her expression screamed ‘answer the fucking phone.’
` Eva’s mobile rang loudly from her handbag under the desk. She’d always loved up tempo beat and impressive guitar solo of her ring tone. But now, in the stillness of the office, she became overly aware that the lyrics played homage to huge asses and giant boobs.
‘Hello, hello,’ she said, far more anxious to shut the damn phone up than to find out who was calling.
‘Eva, get your ass up here. I’ve been trying to get in touch all morning. He’s going crazy.’
Shelly sounded panicked. Shelly never sounded panicked. Eva instantly worried.
‘I’m on my way.’
Eva was surprised by her own obedient response, but it was automatic. She’d learned when Mr Doe beckoned, no one delayed.
The lift seemed to move in slow motion, and Eva inhaled deeply as the doors opened, as if she’d been trapped in an air tight container. She could see Shelly at the end of the hall and she raced towards her friend. Her shoes squeaked and announced her arrival long before she reached Shelly’s desk.
‘He’s been calling you all morning,’ Shelly said, leaving her desk and hurrying down the corridor to meet Eva halfway.
‘I know. Sorry. I was late and…’
‘Fuck, don’t tell him that,’ Shelly warned,’ just say you were on an important call or something. Make it out to be work related.’
‘What if he asks me, to who?’
‘Ah Jesus. I don’t know. Lie.’
Eva smiled. It was definitely not an appropriate time to flash the pearly whites but Shelly always seemed to relax her, even in the most stressful situations.
‘Don’t keep him waiting, go on, go on…’ Shelly knocked her shoulder gently against Eva’s and pushed her forward. ‘I’ll see you after.’
The large office doors were slightly ajar and Eva heard her knock echo in the huge room inside.
‘Ms Andrews,’ the voice beckoned.
Then there was silence. He didn’t invite her in or come to open the door. Eva stood very still and waited outside. She was so nervous, her stomach churned and she was suddenly glad she’d missed breakfast. She folded her arms, dropped her head and made the decision to step inside.
‘Close the door behind you,’ Mr Doe said. ‘There’s a draft.’
Eva did as she was told, even though she was reluctant to banish the small sliver of light that the open door allowed.
‘You were late this morning,’ Mr Doe said as soon as the room was gripped with darkness.
‘I…I…I’m sorry,’ Eva stumbled over her words, unable to come up with a speedy or convening lie.
‘Did you think I wouldn’t notice?’
Eva didn’t want to answer that question. She wondered how the man could get any work done if he was paying such close attention to every employee.
‘It won’t happen again.’
‘Too right, Ms Andrews. I don’t give a shit what you’ve got going on in your personal life. I pay you to be here on time and I damn well expect you to respect that. Do I make myself clear?’
Eva gritted her teeth. ‘Yes.’
‘Good. I don’t want to have this conversation again.’
‘Neither do I,’ Eva mumbled under her breath.
‘You can leave your mask in reception. I will see you on Friday.’
Eva knew from the drift in his voice that he had spun his chair around and was no longer facing her. She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.
‘Christ, you look like you’ve seen as ghost,’ Shelly said, jumping up from behind her desk as soon as she saw Eva.
‘He…he…he wants my mask.’
Shelly raised her hand and flicked it to the side. ‘Yeah, he takes them all. Your mask and robe will be waiting for you in reception at the venue.’
Shelly paused for a moment, and suddenly looked very serious. ‘Don’t know why they do it like that, really. Maybe it’s so they know who’s who underneath.’
‘Robe?’ Eva asked.
‘Yeah, robe. I thought you knew? It’s all about expression, there’s like an uncloaking ceremony and all. It’s fun. Stop worrying.’
Eva pressed the base of her hand between her eyes and rubbed gently.
Shelly spilled two white pills onto the table and placed a fresh paper cup of water beside them.
‘Here take these.’
Eva stared doe eyed at her friend.
Relax, Eva. They’re paracetamol. You look like you need them. Go home, finish your mask, and stop bloody worrying.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Sure you can.’ Shelly pushed the pills closer to the edge of her desk. ‘I’ll cover for you.’
Eva shook her head and tears began to blur her vision. ‘I don’t know where it is, I haven’t seen it since…since.’
Shelly nodded along enthusiastically encouraging Eva to finish.
‘Oh Christ,’ Eva stuttered. ‘I think he took it,’
Shelly’s face lit up like she knew what Eva was talking about. ‘Looks like you need to take a detour on your way home.’
Chapter 29
Eva wasn’t sure what to do first. She thought about calling or texting Julian but she didn’t know how to start the conversation after the way they’d left things at the pier. Her next idea was to call around to him, but the boat was the only place she knew to find him, and she doubted that was his permanent place of residence. She was left with only one option and much as she didn’t want to go there, she found herself hailing a cab and jumping in.
She scrolled through her phone to find his exact work address from old emails. She felt uncomfortable relying entirely on the driver’s sense of direction but she had little choice. Area names meant nothing to her, and she had no idea where they were going. As they began to leave the busy city behind, Eva started to panic. What the hell was she doing? She was losing her mind, and it was all Julian’s fault
.
Old Georgian buildings came into view, with pebble-stoned driveways and high, gated walls. A beautiful, large, stone-washed building stood out amongst the others. Eva spotted the Stars and Stripes flying high over the embassy and her heart stung with the reminder of who she once was. She missed that kid. All innocence and enthusiastic for life. She’d thought running away would solve her problems, and it did - for a while, anyway. But secrets have a way of eating at you from the inside out. Eva tossed her head and tried not to think about it. She was over-analysing everything, as usual.
‘We’re here, Love,’ the Taxi driver said, coming to a stop outside the most elaborate building of all.
Eva was reluctant to get out. She shouldn’t be here, she knew that. She was falling head first into another world of secrets, and even though her head was telling her to turn around, every other instinct was begging her to go. Eva suddenly thought of her mother…maybe this was how she felt. Besotted by the charm of a dangerous man. But was Julian dangerous? Surely not.
‘You alright, Love?’
The driver’s voice pulled Eva back into the here and now.
‘Have you got the right place? Number three-sixty-five, you said.’
Eva nodded. It was a stunning mansion to match a stunning man, it was definitely the right place.
A light mist brushed against Eva’s face. It was a welcome relief after the clammy warmth of the cab. Eva pulled a small, black umbrella from her bag and hid underneath. She wasn’t hiding from the rain, more large security camera’s perched on the top of each pillar. If this was the right place, then Julian already knew she was here. She couldn’t retreat now. The iron gates creaked and groaned as they swung open slowly. Eva was grateful for the crunch of the sandy-coloured pebble stones under her shoes, it drowned out the furious beating of her heart. She walked slowly, almost waiting for someone to stop her. A security guard or a gardener at least, someone, anyone, but there was no one there.
A curly haired, elderly lady opened the front door within seconds of Eva ringing the doorbell.
‘Ms Andrews,’ she said with a gently country lilt. She was asking, not accusing. Eva liked her straight away and confirmed her identity with a nod and a smile.
‘He said you’d come. I didn’t believe him, mind you.’
Eva’s smile grew. Julian had told someone about her, his housekeeper - it seemed. That meant something, at least. She just didn’t know what.
The housekeeper stepped back and glided her hand across the air. ‘Where are my manners? Come in, come in.’
The house was just as beautiful inside, as out. The relaxed décor tied in with the architectural era and Eva imagined Julian had taken great pride in getting it just right.
‘Mr Harte left something for you…it’s just down here, in the drawing room. I’ll just be a moment.’
The housekeeper pottered off into one of the many rooms off the main hall. Eva felt horribly nervous, standing alone in the huge open space. She scanned the walls, they were abundant with artwork. Eva recognised some of the older oil paintings from her Art History classes in school. They were breath-taking, and Eva had no doubt they were the real thing. Replicas certainly weren’t Julian’s style. But beautiful as the art was, Eva couldn’t help notice the lack of any personal pictures. Taste and grandeur was impressive, but Eva wanted something that gave her a hint about who Julian really was. A picture from his childhood, a memory, a window into his past - just something. This guy was a closed book, and it was utterly frustrating.
The housekeeper returned and handed Eva a box. Eva recognised the silky black ribbon straight away.
‘For me?’ Eva said, her fingers shaking as she reached out for it.
The housekeeper nodded. ‘Something special, no doubt.’
‘I hope so.’
Eva leaned forward, about to politely kiss the air at each side of the housekeeper’s cheek. She nearly knocked herself off balance when she stopped abruptly, remembering Shelly’s culture advice. Before she had time to straighten up the housekeeper grabbed her and hugged her tight.
‘You’re special,’ she said, squeezing the air right out of Eva. ‘Julian sees it, and I do too. Take care of him. God knows he needs someone to.’
Eva wanted to say something. To thank her for her help, at the very least. But she was past words. She left with just a huge, bright smile and a nod.
Eva walked until she found a small, quiet area of nearby Herbert Park. She winced as she sat back against the cold timber of a lonely bench, hidden beneath an old weeping willow. The housekeeper’s words played over and over in her mind. She’d been so genuine and lovely, but her good intentions were definitely misguided.
Eva wondered how someone who worked for Julian, and seemingly for a long time, could misjudge him so much. Julian didn’t need anyone to take care of him, he was the strongest person she had ever met. She’d only known him a little over a week, but he’d spent almost all that of that time taking care of her.
Eva knew it was pathetic but for a moment she couldn’t help feeling jealous. Eva knew the elderly lady was staff, and it wasn’t the same as family, but she spoke of Julian with the affection of a loving grandmother. Eva wondered if Julian returned her affection. He never spoke of his housekeeper, then again, he never spoke of anyone. Oddly, for the first time, Eva wasn’t surprised to have discovered yet another layer to Julian Harte. This was a layer she really liked.
Dusk was falling and the box resting across Eva’s knees didn’t offer much warmth. She’d been so busy replaying the day, she’d held off opening it for a long time. The excitement of a secret inside was tantalising; she almost didn’t want the suspense to end. She pulled back the layers of silky tissue inside and really hoped to find a coat, the wind was pinching her shoulders now and she was shivering uncontrollably. It was empty. Eva tossed the layers of tissues around three or four times, searching right down to the bottom. She squealed excitedly as she unearthed a petite, rectangular envelope hiding among the scattered tissue. Suddenly she forgot the cold and ripped it open.
Dear Evangeline,
I knew you’d come. You’ve changed so much this past week, and it’s been more than fun being a part of that. You’re still the same person- just stronger. Don’t let anyone ever make you something you’re not. I hope you know that was never what this was about. Lift the base out of the box, you might need what’s inside. Wear it, don’t let it wear you.
Goodbye, Evangeline Andrews.
Julian xx
Large, fat, salty tears rushed down Eva’s cheeks. The kind that made your body heave uncontrollably as they fall. Julian had said the sweetest possible goodbye. He’d let her go, and just like that, it was game over. And all in time for Eva to realise she was totally, head over heels, in love with him. She’d made a lot of fuck-ups in her life but this one should come with some sort of award. How could she possibly have fallen for the most unattainable man on the planet? Oh yeah, he was beyond gorgeous and it turned out he actually gave a shit.
Eva’s falling tears smudged the ink, but it didn’t matter, she’d reread the letter so many times, she knew it by heart. Part of her wanted to rush back to his house and tell him she didn’t want his polite goodbye. Another part of her wanted to scream and shout at him for having the audacity to say it. But the biggest part of her was furious with herself for leading him to say it at all.
Eva waited a long time before she acted on Julian’s advice and reached deep into the bottom layer of the box. If this was her last piece of Julian Harte, then she wanted to savour every moment. She gasped as she revealed her mask. She had been so distracted by Julian’s beautiful house and his friendly housekeeper, she had entirely forgotten that the mask was what brought her there in the first place. But this wasn’t her mask. This was a beautiful porcelain replica, hand-painted with their drunken design. The detail was exquisite.
Eva ran her fingers over the golden letters that twisted and curved just as they had when they transferred from the c
hampagne bottle to her flimsy paper mask. She didn’t doubt that they were real gold. Knowing Julian, (she smiled, deciding that she did know him) she’d be surprised if they were anything less than twenty-four carrot. She placed the cool, cream porcelain to her face. The base rested comfortably over the bridge of her nose and the rest was a perfect fit around her eyes. ‘Wear it, don’t let it wear you,’ she repeated the mantra several times out loud. That was exactly what she intended to do.
Chapter 30
The final days before the ball seemed to fly by. There was plenty of chat and banter in the office as the atmosphere was ecstatic. Nathan had reverted to a polite, often refined friend and Shelly had dragged Eva shopping more times than she could count on both hands. Julian didn’t contact her, and while deep down she didn’t expect him to, it didn’t stop her obsessing over him and finding it hard to think of anything or anyone else.
Her work was suffering and for the first time in her life, Eva didn’t let it eat her up. Luckily, most of the staff were too consumed with pre-ball concerns to notice Eva’s lack of dedication, except Mia, of course. She seemed to relish Eva’s poor conduct and breathed down her neck, throwing terms like ‘disciplinary action,’ and ‘performance review,’ around at the top of her voice.
Even Mr Doe seemed odd. He’d called Eva to his office three times in as many days. The first time Eva had stepped out of the lift, certain she was fired, which wasn’t helped by finding Shelly hiding behind her desk in tears. But Mr Doe only wanted to talk, and not about work. Eva did her best to answer without making herself sound weird, and she simply changed the subject or pretended not to hear when he asked something personal that she didn’t want to discuss
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