No Good Deed

by Jerry Jackson

  “Yes, but she’ll never admit it in public. Not soon after you and Obidaan had your baby, she tried to have one with me. I have no idea if it succeeded and she won’t tell me. But one thing she did tell me that night was how much she loved me and that if anyone was worthy of being the father of her child it was me. She actually cried that night, talking about the unfairness, and cruelty of the world. How all she wanted to be was normal, for people to ignore the eyes. She always figured that if people saw them long enough, they would just learn to get used to it; apparently that hasn’t happened.”

  Relina listened intently. For a moment, she almost felt sorry for Lucinda, then she thought back to the cruelty on the road, and a new wave of rage washed over her, “I can’t stop you but I do not like it.”

  “And that’s why I love ya,” he got up and kissed her on her forehead, “Look everything will be fine. And if you haven’t figured it out by our conversion, Lucinda’s true weakness,” he paused for dramatic affect, “is to be treated as a normal person. Acknowledge her paladin status, ignore her eyes, and treat her as you would any of us. At that point she doesn’t know what to do with herself. That’s why she loves me, and that’s why she still pines for Obidaan, the only two people in this world who treated her like she was normal. See ya in the morning.” Alister made his way to Lucinda’s room, Relina was 1 door down. Without knocking Alister opened the door. “Honey, I’m home,” he said in a sing songy voice, “how’s my little kitten?” He closed the door behind him as Relina went into her room. A few seconds later she could have sworn she heard some purring.

  Soon, they were at their destination, Seriland. Once inside the castle walls, they stabled their horses and headed for the castle itself.

  Before they entered Lucinda turned to them, “I know why you’re here, but do me a favor, keep your mouths shut, stick with me, and observe. You’re about to learn something,” they had no idea what she meant by that but were about to find out.

  Inside there was secretary, taking names for audiences with the king. He looked up, saw Lucinda and immediately got out of the way. “Glad you’re learning,” she said to him. She then proceeded directly to the audience room, which was filled with ambassadors, entertainers, merchants, and common folk there to air their grievances. The room went silent when Lucinda marched in.

  She proceeded directly to the thrown. Those in her way moved, quickly. It was very apparent to Vanguard that she had been here before and had business with the king.

  The king, the queen, and his two children were on the dais, along with the vizier, captain of the guard, and a page. They all looked very uncomfortable to see her. Unlike the others, who stood below the thrown, she walked directly up to the king.

  “I’ll bet you’re surprised to see me,” she said. “Oh, and I intercepted your lackey adventuring crew,” she pointed back at Vanguard, “so they won’t be able to help you.”

  “Um, Lucinda,” the king began.

  “Save it,” she said, “you know, I get really pissed off when I’m forced to come out and enforce a treaty violation. All you had to do was stay off of Maltisland’s territory and everything would have been fine, but no, you had to violate the treaty.”

  “They broke it first,” the king said in his defense, “they stole a sacred artifact and we were trying to get it back.”

  “Hello! You dunderheads!” she smacked him in the head, “once they broke the treaty all you had to do was sit back and wait! But no, you had to break it too, like an idiot. Now I have to deal with both of you.”

  “Um.” the vizier said, “If I may intervene, I have a question.”

  “Shoot,” she said.

  “There was no notification of the treaty violation, no notification of your arrival, and I see no tribunal.”

  “You’ve been hanging around too many goodie—goodies,” she laughed, “besides, you should really read your contracts sometimes. I hate those standard ones, so I make my own.” She pulled one out of thin air, “Is that your signature, kingy?” she showed him the contract.

  “Yes,” he said timidly.

  “Good. Then you should have read the final paragraphs, where it says there will be no notification of violation, except for me, I will be the sole arbitrator, and I will arrive at a time of my choosing.” She handed the contract to him and pointed out the relevant paragraphs.

  “Now, how to punish you. What to do, what to do,” she was pondering.

  “I am ready for any punishment you see fit,” he stood up and offered himself to her.

  “That’s the thing with you good guys, always willing to sacrifice yourselves when you screw up. Sit down,” and he did, “You learn nothing that way, especially since you’re dead, or maimed. No, something a fellow paladin taught me, why go for the kill, when you can go for the pain.” She walked over to the children and grabbed them in one hand and with the other whipped out a dagger. The whole room gasped.

  “By the gods! No, please!” the queen screamed.

  “I’m sorry, I’ll do anything you ask, please, not the children,” the king said desperately.

  “See, NOW I have your attention. Now, when I make a treaty, you’re going to heed it, instead of thinking you can deal with the consequences.” She smiled at the children, who where very frightened. “Don’t you kiddies worry, it will all be over in a moment. Now, say goodbye to mommy and daddy.”

  “Goodbye mommy and daddy,” the little girl said. At that Lucinda plunged her dagger through the girl’s heart, instantly killing her. People screamed, fainted, hurled, and where aghast at the incident. The king and queen had tears streaming down their face, begging her to stop. She then threw her lifeless body at the feet of the king and queen.

  “Say goodbye little boy,” she smiled.

  “No,” he tried to struggle but her grip was firm.

  “I was doing it as a courtesy kid,” she then proceeded to drive the dagger through his heart, killing him. “It wasn’t going to stop me.” She threw his limp body on top of his sister.

  The whole room was horrified by her actions, but no one made a move against her. They knew better. The king and queen cried over their dead children’s bodies.

  “Now, I hope you got the point of this little exercise, your children sure did,” she laughed at her pun. Walking over to the queen, she grabbed a piece of her robe and wiped her dagger clean with it before sheathing it. “Don’t make me have to come back out here again,” Lucinda said and left. Vanguard followed behind her in silence. Soon they were headed for Maltisland.

  No one could speak as they made the 30 minute trip. “Now the funny part,” Lucinda began to talk, not caring if they listened, “is I can’t do that here. He doesn’t care about people, he cares about money and power. So, that’s what I’ll have to go after.” No one acknowledged her and she didn’t care.

  They got to the gate, Lucinda looked at the guard, “Leave. Pack your bags and get out of town, now.” They abandoned their posts.

  As she rode to the castle she told the local magistrate to clear the town out as fast as possible, and that no one is to ever return. The magistrate proceeded to carry out her orders.

  Lucinda made her way to the emperor’s chamber. When she got there, she made her announcement. “Everyone, except for the emperor and his family, is to clear the hell out of this town and not come back. Anyone I find trying to stay who isn’t an immediate family member will be killed.” Everyone made for the door.

  “This is outrageous!” the emperor screamed.

  “Yes it is,” she said, “and I’m not done. I want you to bring me everything in your treasury, I’m taking it with me. I’m sick of people thinking I’m playing with them when I make a treaty.”

  “But I signed it under duress; you were going to kill me.”

  “I don’t care how you signed it, your signature is on it, you violated it, now it’s payback.”

>   “That artifact should have belonged to us! They…”

  “I don’t want to hear it, get busy,” she threw a dagger and killed a guard.

  “You heard her, get some carts, get some horses, hurry up,” the king said as she recovered her dagger.

  A few hours later his treasury was packed up on 11 carts.

  “Have fun ruling over nothing,” Lucinda said and headed out, 11 carts in tow. She proceeded out of the gate closed it and put a special spell to lock the gate so no one could get in without her. She made it so the emperor and his family could come and go, but she didn’t tell them that. “They’ll figure it out eventually” she said, and proceed down the road.

  “Oh,” she reached in and pulled out a grooved orb, made of obsidian and oak. She handed it to Terry, “since you’re the leader of this group, I’ll give this to you. This is what these two idiots have been fighting over. I’ll let you figure out what to do with it. You can do the same with their tressury; I have no need for it.”

  “What does the Orb do?” Terry asked, “Why were they willing to violate your treaty for it?”

  “Don’t know and don’t care. As far as I know, it’s just a nice piece of art.” She rode off leaving Vanguard, an orb, and 11 carts filled with treasure. “Oh, and thanks for the company.”

  Once far enough away from the group, Lucinda found a well wooded area, dismounted and threw up for several minutes. She could almost hear her gods laughing. “I hate you,” she addressed them, “and I hate this job.”

  “We know.” Lord War said.

  “But you do it so well. Keep up the good work.” Lady War continued.

  “Fuck both of you.” She could still hear them laughing as she rode off.

  The Vanguard looked at each other dumfounded by what they had just gone through. Pretty much used as pawns in Lucinda’s game, then left far from home with more treasure than they could carry. Not to mention, angry, resentful, and appalled by what they had witnessed, and could not stop.

  “Ideas?” Relina asked.

  “I say we take it home and retire,” Piped in Alister. “We have the wealth of a nation. Hell, we can start our own like so many people like to do around here.”

  “We can’t keep it,” Terry interjected.

  “Why the hell not?” Alister blasted back. “We didn’t steal it. It’s not ill gotten gains. It was given to us, by a paladin no less. Think of the good we can do.”

  “This is the wealth of the people of Maltisland,” Terry said. “If anything, we should give it to them.” Looking down at the ground and seeing the tracks of the refugees, “They’ll be easy to find.”

  “Agreed,” Don said, “they are going to need it as they start a new life. Lucinda did not exactly give them a choice. It seems her decision hurt them as much as their dictatorial ruler.”

  “I don’t think so,” Relina said, “Lucinda knew we weren’t going to keep it. Let’s get moving.”

  “Aww, I don’t believe this,” Alister said, “we can walk away, it’s perfectly legal!”

  “No!” Terry said, “Now get your butt in gear and let’s go. Here,” she tossed the orb at him, “maybe you can figure out what this does while we catch up to them.”

  Alister knew he wasn’t going to win. Using his magic and bardic abilities, he played around with the orb. He discovered it was very old had compartments where you could put lots of small items. He continued to investigate.

  Alister knew he was the best person on the planet to figure out what this thing was. Unlike a pure bard, who relied on folk tales or a mage who relied on magic, he had access to both. This gave him a 95% chance of successfully identifying anything. Better than bards, who were 50—50 or mages who were around 80%.

  In no time they caught up to the refugees. They found an elderly lady who was the de facto leader. She had everyone gather around so they could hear.

  Terry told the story, “…and these 11 carts of treasure represent the wealth of your old nation. We’d like to give it to you, to help you start anew.”

  They began to discuss it amongst themselves. There was a lot of arguing and bickering, however, the old lady seemed to know how settle people down. After about 20 minutes, she walked over to Terry. “Thank you my dear for your gracious offer. However, there is no way we can carry or even protect that much treasure ourselves. We could not ask you to go with us, since we don’t know where we will go. However, we do need something to sustain us and help us in our wanderings. We will take 4 of the carts and you can have the rest.”

  “Four?” Terry asked, “Are you sure that is all you need?”

  “Four will be plenty and will insure we are treated well wherever we go.” They took the carts and proceed on their way.

  The Vanguard headed out slowly with the remaining 7 carts. They weren’t sure what to do and Alister’s insistence that they keep them was beginning to make some sense. As they bedded down for the night, Alister continued to play with the orb. In the morning he had an answer.

  “I’ve finally figured out what it does,” Alister said over breakfast.

  “Don’t leave us in suspense,” Don quipped.

  “Well, one of the first things is, it’s beautiful. Extremely well crafted, perfectly shaped, and pleasing to the eye. And that’s just it.”

  “What do you mean?” Terry said.

  “That’s why they thought this thing was an artifact. It is old, radiates very little magic, and looks great. It has to be an artifact, at least to the untrained eye.”

  “But it isn’t,” Relina said.

  “Exactly, it isn’t,” Alister said. Like the master sleuth solving the murder mystery. “The magic is faint because it doesn’t do very much. It’s full of extra dimensional spaces, for holding things.” He demonstrated how it floated, drawers opened, and it even had a mirror. “My best guess, this belonged to a female wizard who like to carry her components and make—up.”

  “You mean to tell me that two nations were destroyed over, over…” Relina couldn’t get the words out, she was so furious.

  “Yes,” Alister said somberly, “two nations were destroyed over a purse; a very elaborate and well conceived purse, but ultimately, just a purse. So, what should we do with this thing?” Alister asked, “Return it to Seriland?”

  “NO!” Relina was furious, “After what they’ve gone through, there is no way I’m going to let them know their children died for a purse! We’re keeping it. Let them think their children died for something. If they ever found out the truth, they might never overcome their grief.” Everyone agreed.

  After more discussion, they finally decided to keep the remaining treasure and head home. While they were now quite rich, they were not pleased with the way they achieved it.

  Once home, people marveled at them as they rode past with the carts. Alister boasted that he would have a tale for them later that evening at the 5 Coins Inn. The place was packed. They all went to Relina’s to see Obidaan. It was early afternoon when they got there.

  Relina dismounted, “Wait here, I’ll bring Obidaan out.” She said as she ran into the house. Tears began streaming down her cheeks as she opened the door. She had been wanting to scream and cry for days but held back for the sake of the group, but she could hold back her grief, anger, shame, and frustration no longer; and neither could the others. It seemed the others also temporarily excused themselves.

  With the door closed behind her, Relina leaned back on the door, put her face in one hand and let her emotions take over. She let out chocked cries and tears streamed down her cheeks as she wept uncontrollably. She was choked up, emotionally drained, and disgusted by what had just happened. “Gods damn it!” she screamed in a horse voice, looking up with her tear streaked face. Her mouth down turned into the worse frown Obidaan had ever seen.

  Obidaan had been sitting in the living room reading a book, one of the othe
r parents had volunteered for park duty and Obidaan welcomed the rest. He looked up from his book when Relina closed the door behind her and began weeping. For a moment he wasn’t sure what was going on. He was expecting that to be the children at the door, not Relina. He put the book down and headed to her as she put her face into both her hands. He grabbed a hand towel he had sitting on a table near him along the way.

  “Relina?” He said when he approached her and took her into his arms, “What. What happened?” He handed her the towel and she wiped her face with it.

  “L—L—Lucinda,” she managed to say, “I. I can’t believe the evil that woman did.” She said in an angry tone, “I can’t believe Alister sleeps with her!” She continued. Now in her husband’s arms, she was beginning to feel safe again. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him hard. Tears continued streaking down her cheeks and she cried even harder. With Obidaan, she didn’t hold anything back. Obidaan just held her, saying nothing for a moment. He was about to say something when she interrupted him with a kiss. It was a kiss of passion, of desperation, of caring, of wanting to forget, of humanity. He returned the kiss. He could feel her pain, her anguish, her emptiness. Obidaan would not stop kissing her, he would let her decide when they were through. For quite some time, she continued to kiss and hold him. It could have been a minute, an hour, a day, they didn’t know or care. It was about three minutes before she finally stopped. For a moment Relina had no faith in humanity, this kiss renewed it.

  Obidaan asked again, “What happened, my love?”

  “Horrible. It was just horrible. The evil, the pure cruelty that runs through that woman. I can’t believe I was jealous of her. I’m such a fool!”

  “What are you talking about? I told you before I’ve wanted nothing to do with her.”

  “I know,” Relina said. “But somehow, in the back of my mind I figured you might still hold a little candle for her. I know you don’t, you can’t…” she stopped realizing she wasn’t making much sense. She changed the subject, “We have something to show you. It’s outside.” She dried her face one more time.