She Who Dares
Page 8
But the same sharp little doubts scratched at her insides.
‘Go on,’ he whispered. ‘I want you to.’
‘We can’t do this,’ Nic told him as he slid a warm hand across her cheek. ‘We can’t.’
‘We can do whatever we damn well like.’
She felt shaky and excited, not quite knowing what was about to happen, only that she wanted it to, but at the same time terrified that she couldn’t handle what lay ahead. ‘I didn’t come here for this.’
‘But you’re thinking about it.’
She stared at his bare chest, at the strong curve of his pecs and the small, dark circles of his nipples, and nodded. There was no space for denial, not when she was so close to him, so close to melting.
‘I understand,’ he said. ‘I am a total stud.’
Nic’s head jerked up, and she met his gaze. ‘You’re a self-absorbed, arrogant jerk!’
‘Those are my finest qualities!’
‘Would you really have noticed me if I’d walked into that bar?’
He stroked his thumb across her bottom lip, the sensation so erotic that she darted her tongue out to taste him. When he spoke, his voice was rough. ‘I did notice you.’
‘But you wanted Ella.’
His forehead rested against hers, as he leaned in, curving his long body into hers. ‘I can honestly tell you that I never wanted to kiss Ella the way I want to kiss you right now.’ The hand which had been cradling her hip moved under the hem of her top, found bare skin. She shivered at the contact. ‘Something about a woman who’ll let me play with her ignition really turns me on.’
His hand moved higher, skating across her stomach, moving round to rub the small of her back, and she knew she should stop him. But it felt so wonderful. ‘Or maybe it’s just that you aren’t wearing a bra.’
Nic wasn’t a virgin, but she wasn’t exactly confident in her sexual abilities either. The thought of going all the way with Sebastian, of having that beautiful, strong body thrusting into hers was the ultimate dirty fantasy.
It could never become a reality. But the fingertips tracing the underneath of her breast felt so wickedly good that she couldn’t walk away without taking something from him. She needed human contact, needed hands on her skin, even if being touched scared her witless.
She touched her mouth to his, felt the warmth, the pressure, and waited for him to react. And react he did. The onslaught was passionate and brutal, his hips crashing against hers as he thrust his tongue deep into her mouth. He dragged her through the doorway and into the hall, and her back hit the wall as he pushed her towards it, pinning her against it with his erection pressed firmly against her belly and his hands in her hair.
It was x-rated, all adult and so, so hot. His hips ground against her, sex with their clothes on, and her body felt primed to explode. ‘Kiss me back,’ he growled against her mouth. ‘Come on. Kiss me back.’
Her head didn’t know what to do, but her body did. Oh, it did. She felt like Sebastian knew her, even though that was impossible. He tasted of wickedness. It was everything she had thought it would be and more and it created a kiss that nearly blew her head off.
Sebastian pulled back a little. ‘Wow,’ he said. ‘Give me some more.’
So she did. She kissed him in the kitchen, as he lifted her onto the cold granite worktop and settled himself between her thighs. She kissed him on the leather sofa in the vast living room that overlooked the floodlit garden, her body cradling his as his weight pressed her down. She kissed him out on the terrace, in between laps of the pool, watching as that lean, tanned body cut through the water.
And suddenly something inside her that had hurt so much for so long wasn’t so sore.
Sitting on the edge, her feet in the water, Nic counted as he ploughed his way through another four laps before kicking himself in her direction. Wet hands were planted firmly on the edge of the pool and he pushed himself out in one smooth movement, water crashing over his shoulders, down over his hard muscled belly. His wet skin sparkled, and those blue shorts hid nothing.
She tried not to look. She tried not to think about the fact that he looked that impressive cold. She tried not to think about sex, in particular sex with Sebastian.
‘Enjoying yourself?’ he said, angling his head towards her and letting her indulge.
The water made his hair even blacker, plastering it against his forehead, making his eyes look even more ridiculously green. He hadn’t pushed her to go any further than this, and in so many ways it was enough.
But she couldn’t stop herself from wanting more, even knowing that it wasn’t possible.
‘I’ve always wondered what this house was like inside,’ Nic replied, turning over her hand and inspecting her palm. She kicked gently at the water, wishing she was braver.
‘Like a marshmallow,’ he said, grabbing a towel from a lounger and rubbing it over his head. Droplets of water splashed the terracotta tiles round his long, tanned feet. ‘Want the guided tour?
Maybe if they went inside, he’d put clothes on. ‘Okay.’
He held out his hand.
Nic hesitated, too scared to touch, hating herself for being such a coward. He’d said he was interested in her, and surely he wouldn’t have said it if he hadn’t meant it. Sebastian was her fantasy, and he was here and he was real, and all she had to do was slip her fingers over his and she could hold on to that fantasy, even if it was only for a few short minutes.
She slid her fingers over his palm, hooked their thumbs together. His big hand closed over hers, warm and strong, and he pulled her to her feet. They were close, so close, and apart from that patch of wet, clinging Lycra, he was naked.
His gaze met hers, held. And then he took her hand and placed it on the front of those wet trunks. His penis twitched as he covered her hand with his, fitting himself against her palm. He was firm and thick, not fully erect but not quite asleep either.
And getting more awake by the second.
Neither of them spoke.
Blood thundered in her ears, rocketing to her core. She felt hollow, desperately tempted, sickeningly afraid. She had to say no.
‘I can’t do this,’ she said eventually, hating herself for what she’d done. If only she’d been stronger. If only she’d found a better way to cope. ‘Please, Sebastian. You’ve got to understand. I can’t.’ She bit down on her bottom lip until she tasted blood, sharp and nasty.
‘Why not?’ His hand covered hers, pressing her palm more firmly against him.
‘Don’t…just don’t do this.’
‘I want you,’ he said. ‘I’m not going to pretend otherwise.’
Nic pulled her hand away, and he made no move to stop her. She folded her arms, her whole body shaking. Dark strands of glossy hair tumbled down across her face, shielding her.
But he didn’t let her hide. Fingers met her chin, tilted it up. ‘I think you want me too, and you should know that I’m more than willing to be used as a sex toy, Nic.’
Nic turned and stumbled away from him, her whole body hurting. He’d just offered himself to her, and she wanted him so badly she could taste it.
But she couldn’t have him. Ever.
Chapter Seven
Nic sprinted across the terrace towards the open French doors that led in to the house. Panic and shame flirted with her in equal measure, and the need to escape was overwhelming. She had to get out of here, get somewhere safe where she could deal with her embarrassment in private. If the house had been on fire, she couldn’t have been more scared.
She pulled the little coin purse out of her pocket and checked it. A few coins, but not enough for a taxi. Asking Sebastian for a lift home was the last thing she wanted to do right now and somewhere amongst all the snogging and drama, her painkillers had worn off.
Her hand throbbed like she’d just whacked it with a hammer. Tears were too close; all her emotions too close to the surface, too raw. The silence in the house was so damn loud. There had to be some way she c
ould get out of here without walking the three miles home alone in the dark. Her gaze fell on a set of shiny keys on the worktop next to an open can of Doctor Pepper. Nic closed her hand over the little silver shoe, sent up a little prayer of thanks, and scarpered.
By the time she got home, she was more confused, not less. She’d tried to replay the evening in her head as she drove, but keeping the Corvette on the road with her one good hand and her knees had taken up all her attention.
But she had the situation screwed down to two key points. First, for some reason she didn’t understand, she turned Sebastian on. That erection hadn’t been for Ella. It had been for her, all for her. Nic didn’t know much about men, but she was pretty certain some things couldn’t be faked.
Second, she didn’t know what the hell to do now. She’d made a total fool of herself in front of someone she would definitely have to see again. Someone she was acutely, undeniably attracted to. Nic pulled the Corvette to a halt on the forecourt and turned off the engine.
Her mind flashed to the packet of razors on the top shelf of her bathroom cabinet. For the longest time, she’d been too scared to have them in the house. Too scared of what they might tempt her to do.
But for the past six months, she’d had razors in her bathroom, enjoyed the luxury of smooth legs and armpits, and it had been fine.
But right now it wasn’t fine.
She couldn’t go inside. Not yet. Instead, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and made a call. ‘Ella. It’s Nic.’
A pause. Then, ‘If this is another attempt to get me to come home, it’s not going to work. I just want to get that straight up-front.’
Ella coming back was the last thing Nic wanted. ‘I just wanted to talk. That’s all.’
‘What about?’
‘Tell me about Sebastian.’
‘What do you want to know?’
‘Everything.’
‘Everything? By that do you mean the below the waist everything, or everything else?’
‘I’m not planning on sleeping with him!’ Nic snapped, the words coming out far more harshly than she’d intended. She pinched the bridge of her nose, desperately trying to hold herself together. She just needed to talk to someone until the moment had passed.
‘I see,’ Ella replied. ‘Well, he speaks fluent Italian. He collects Batman comics, eats so many sweets it’s a miracle he’s got any teeth left, and he’s got a love heart tattooed on his arse.’
‘He has not!’
‘So you’ve seen his arse? You are sleeping with him!’
‘No!’ This was not going at all how Nic had intended. ‘Look, I just…You’ve really dropped me in it, Ella. Landing me with a total stranger, with no warning, no nothing.’ Her throat tightened as her voice cranked up a notch. ‘You had no right to sell your share of the business without consulting me first.’
‘Here we go,’ Ella replied angrily. ‘It’s not like I had anything to contribute to the stupid place. I know what you all think of me. Stand there, look pretty, don’t touch that in case you break it. I’d had enough, Nic.’
‘You’d had enough?’
‘Yes, and I’m not sorry I did it. Everything is so black and white with you. Well I hate to break it to you, but sometimes life isn’t like that. Deal with it.’
Nic heard muffled whispering in the background as she scrambled to get her thoughts together. ‘I am dealing with it,’ she said hoarsely, painfully, as an image of Sebastian and her perfect stepsister flashed into her mind. ‘I’m dealing with it every damn day.’
She ended the call before Ella could, her heart thundering sickeningly. Had she really always seen everything as totally black and white as far as Ella was concerned?
Because things weren’t black and white. They weren’t simple. They weren’t simple at all.
The roar of a motorbike sliced through the silence, battering her like a sea storm. Pushing open the driver’s door, she managed to get out of the car and almost to her door before Sebastian caught up with her.
‘Don’t ever run out on me like that again,’ he said, his voice dangerously soft. ‘I won’t tolerate it.’
‘Get lost, Sebastian!’
‘I don’t think so.’
Nic turned to the door, fumbled her key out of her pocket with one hand. She even managed to shove the damn thing in the lock before she felt his breath fall warm on the back of her neck. Her body reacted fast and hard. ‘I’m tired,’ she said, not daring to turn round. ‘Tonight should not have happened.’
‘So why did it?’
Nic let her hands fall to her sides. She stared at the door, at the little brass key pushed into the lock. She thought about black and white, and all the shades of grey that lived in between.
‘I don’t know.’
And she knew it was a lie.
Sebastian walked to the garage the next morning. He’d slept late, having fallen asleep on that big leather sofa after watching the recording of that final race until his head hurt. He’d seen it before, multiple times, but it had always felt like he was watching a stranger. When the car flipped, he hadn’t even flinched. He’d been too busy searching for the error that had cost him the race, and brewing up his frustration when he couldn’t see it.
But last night, he had seen it. A split-second decision, a touch of the brake pedal a millisecond too late. A move he’d made a thousand times and got away with. It had been there all along. He’d known it. He’d just chosen not to look.
And now he had to face Nic. He’d woken up able to smell her on the sofa, a warm, soft, clean scent that had nothing to do with him or the lemon polish the cleaners used to excess. When she’d kissed him last night, he’d found something he hadn’t even realised he needed.
Comfort.
He walked onto the forecourt with his stomach prickling in anticipation. The glass sparkled in the sunshine, and someone waved at him from the hairdressers on the other side of the street. He waved back without even thinking. The Corvette gleamed at him. It was parked parallel to the kerb, with a card in the front windscreen that said sold in big, bold letters. A smiley face had been drawn in one corner.
He was stood staring at it when Nic came out of the garage, a reel of white ribbon in her hand. She ground to an abrupt halt. ‘Sebastian,’ she said. ‘I didn’t think you were coming in today.’
She didn’t sound that pleased to see him. ‘I see you sold it.’ He gestured to the car. A shy flicker of a smile caught the corners of her mouth, her beautiful mouth.
‘Some guy who was driving past saw it. Bought it for cash. Anniversary present for his wife.’ She held up the ribbon awkwardly. ‘He’s bringing her to collect it in an hour.’
‘Lucky woman.’
‘He’s also getting her driving lessons.’
Sebastian raised an eyebrow. ‘She can’t drive, and he bought her a Corvette?’
He took a step closer, then another, until she had to tip her head to meet his gaze. Her cheeks flushed, and she fiddled with the end of the ribbon.
‘Right,’ Sebastian said. Enough was enough. ‘Talk to me.’
‘I don’t want to talk to you.’
‘Then what do you want to do?’
‘I want to fix my Dino, and then I want to drive it until the tyres explode.’
‘Sounds like you’ve got a bad case of sexual frustration.’
Her dark eyes burned with hot emotion. ‘What do you want from me, Sebastian?’
He took the ribbon, set it down on the bonnet of the Corvette. ‘I want you to kiss me.’
‘Don’t be stupid!’
‘Kiss me,’ he dared her. ‘One kiss. You in control.’
‘Why?’
‘I want you to convince me you don’t want me. You do that, and I’ll back off.’
‘You have got to be kidding,’ she said, and then she set about tying a big bow around the bonnet of the Corvette. Sebastian watched her for a moment, seeing how her toned legs stretched as she reached across the car, her t-shir
t pulling free from her shorts to reveal the pale skin of her lower back. The ribbon slithered free as she jerked back, one hand whipping around to grab the t-shirt and ram it back into her shorts. She stood there, head bowed, just as she had the night before. ‘Don’t do this, Sebastian.’
But he had to. Sebastian moved behind her. He placed the palm of one hand against the bonnet, the other to her hip, and turned her round. She looked at him steadily, though her breathing was ragged and he could see the pulse flickering at the base of her neck. It was going as fast as his. ‘I don’t want to play anymore,’ she said.
‘Neither do I. You’ve got my attention, Nic. One hundred percent of it.’ He gave her his total focus, everything he had. Touched his fingertips to the curve of her cheek and forced her to take it. ‘Tell me what you want from me.’
Her pupils were huge, dark, her mouth open. His for the taking. Her hair shone red in the sunlight, and he could feel himself starting to get hard. He moved close enough to let her know. ‘I…’ she whispered. ‘I…’
A cough sounded from behind them, shortly followed by a loud ‘excuse me.’
Nic put her hands on his chest and shoved him away. The moment shattered like broken glass. Frustration exploded inside him, fifty percent sexual, fifty percent something which left him confused and reeling. Hands in fists at his sides, not trusting himself to speak, Sebastian headed for the office.
He needed to be alone.
Chapter Eight
‘It looks amazing.’ Nic walked slowly around the outside of the Dino, unable to breathe, almost unable to speak. ‘It’s gorgeous, Sebastian. I can’t believe it.’
The past week had been an awkward slide of time, the two of them working flat out. The photos of her spraying Sebastian with the hose had been big news on the internet for all of a day, which Nic had survived by going car shopping and avoiding Sebastian completely.