Desert Moon

by Jennifer Taylor

  ‘It could have ended up far worse if you hadn’t been prepared,’ she said quietly without looking at him.

  ‘Yes, it could.’ He sighed wearily, pushing the dye-darkened hair off his brow. ‘I was in the SAS. We were trained to work in all kinds of conditions. Desert survival was my particular field, though.’

  ‘The SAS?’ Natalie’s eyes widened.

  He grinned wickedly. ‘Can’t you see me in that role?’

  ‘I...’ She’d been about to say that she couldn’t but stopped. She’d learned a lot about Flynn in the past few days even if she didn’t have all the answers to the puzzles. Now, as she studied him in silence, it was less of a shock than it might have been to discover that he had once been part of that élite group. Behind that charming, handsome mask was a man of steel! ‘Yes, I can. In fact I would go so far as to say that it suits you!’

  He laughed out loud, easing himself comfortably against the rocky back-rest. ‘I’m not too sure if that was a compliment or an insult, Natalie!’

  She returned his smile, glad that the tension had eased because it bothered her that she should feel so confused. ‘Take it which way you will. That’s up to you. I merely meant that I’d suspected you weren’t the easygoing charmer you seemed to be on first acquaintance even before I ended up getting kidnapped because of your nefarious dealings!’

  His face sobered at her joking mention of what had happened, his eyes darkening. ‘And that’s something I shall regret to my dying day.’ He held his hand up when she made as though to protest. ‘No, don’t say anything, Natalie. It should never have happened. I should never have allowed you to be put in such a dangerous position.’ He gave a bitter, harsh laugh which tore at her heart. ‘Not that this is much better!’

  ‘It doesn’t matter, Flynn.’ She paused then gave a small shrug. ‘Oh, I won’t deny that I was scared when I woke up in that room; I can’t remember ever feeling as scared if you want the truth. But it’s over now. I just have to keep telling myself that and try to put it out of my mind.’

  ‘You’re right, but that doesn’t stop me from blaming myself. I never wanted you to get hurt in any way, Natalie.’

  The tender concern in his voice made her feel like crying. She forced a shaky smile. ‘Is this another side to you, Flynn? There you are telling me that you were once in the SAS and, let’s face it, they are known for their toughness, but maybe you aren’t granite through to the core.’

  He laughed deeply, a sound which sent a shudder of sensation through Natalie’s body. ‘Now, I don’t want to give too much away and you, Natalie, seem to be getting to know me rather too well!’

  ‘Oh, I doubt that! I don’t imagine that anyone ever really gets to know you, Flynn. You merely feed people titbits of yourself, let them think they’re starting to get to the heart of what makes you tick, but...!’ She shrugged eloquently, her arm brushing his to send a host of disturbing messages throughout her nervous system before she hurriedly broke the contact.

  ‘There haven’t been many people I’ve ever wanted to afford that right to.’ He paused deliberately, his eyes a deep, glorious green in the dying rays of the sun as they met and held hers in a look which sent a shimmering, incandescent excitement coursing through her. ‘In fact, Natalie, you’re the first, and God knows I didn’t expect it!’

  She didn’t know what to say. The revelation seemed to have been torn from him almost as though he hated himself for the admission. It made her head spin, her heart feel as though it was being squeezed to death.

  The silence lengthened, deepened, humming with emotions so raw that Natalie ached from their powerful assault on her senses. She closed her eyes, trying to break the spell, yet when she opened them again nothing had changed and all her uncertainties showed in the glittering depths of her eyes. ‘Flynn, I...’

  ‘Shh.’ He laid his fingers against her lips, his eyes fierce yet achingly tender as they held hers in a look which told her he understood. ‘Don’t say it, Natalie. God knows this isn’t something I planned but every word you say would be a lie, an excuse. And what we’re feeling doesn’t need excusing. It’s as natural as breathing, as essential as eating and drinking, and far sweeter than either...!

  He bent towards her, intent etched on his face as his mouth came within a breath of hers. But with one last desperate burst of sanity Natalie pushed him away.

  ‘No! You mustn’t, Flynn, we mustn’t!’

  He ran his hand down her cheek, his fingers performing a seductive dance against her flesh which made the blood surge through her veins. When he ran the tips of his fingers across her mouth to trace its outline, Natalie gasped, a betraying sound which made his eyes glitter with a fierce kind of triumph.

  ‘Mustn’t, Natalie? Do you really think this is something which can be controlled by rules? Do you imagine a passion like this can be easily subdued?’ He shook his head, his face a soft blur in the fading light. ‘There are no rules now, just feelings. No rights or wrongs, just emotions. Nothing but the fact that I want you and, so help me, you want me!’

  His mouth was hard and hot as it took hers. It gave no concessions, just demanded that she admit the truth. Yet she fought against it, a silent, desperate struggle against senses heightened to an unbearable degree, fought and lost when Flynn drew her into his arms and deepened the kiss.

  ‘Natalie!’ Her name on his lips broke down the final barrier, the tenderness, the aching need in his voice driving everything else from her head except that he was right—she did want him. She wanted him to hold her, kiss her, show her the passion she could feel building between them; she had realised that before and now she knew the reason why. She wanted it because she loved him.

  The thought slid into her mind so easily, so softly that Natalie knew that it had been waiting only for the moment when she would admit it. She loved Flynn. She had fought against the growing realisation for days, refused to look for answers too deeply, terrified of their implications. Yet now that she had opened her heart and her mind it was all so simple, all so clear. She loved him and suddenly it made sense of so much which had recently been incomprehensible.

  She slid her arms around his neck and parted her lips, feeling the erotic sweep of his tongue around the curve of her mouth before it tangled with hers in a rhythm which mimicked what her body yearned for. Desire flowed into every pore, hot, sweet, demanding a release so that when Flynn’s hand moved to the buttons on her dress and eased them open she didn’t resist. This was what she wanted most, this physical outpouring of the love she felt for him. She wanted to show Flynn how she felt with her body before she told him later in words which she could only pray he would want to hear.

  The night air was cool on her skin as the dress fell open but Flynn’s hands were warm, his touch achingly gentle, almost reverent as he eased the fabric down her arms then unclipped the fastening of her bra. The moon had risen now and its silvery rays lit the desert like a stage, the black sky the backdrop to this sweet, heady act of passion.

  ‘You’re beautiful, Natalie. So very, very beautiful...’ Flynn’s voice faded as he ran his hand down her from throat to waist, his fingers brushing the soft swell of her breasts in the lightest of caresses, yet Natalie couldn’t hold back the tiny cry which broke from her lips at the sweetness of his touch. She closed her eyes on a wave of sensation so strong that she could scarcely believe it, yet when Flynn repeated the gentle, devastating caress, his hand lingering to tease the peak of one breast into a rigid, throbbing point of desire, she knew it was very real.

  Suddenly, in the middle of the desert, she was drowning. Waves of desire were closing over her head, sucking her down deeper and deeper... She clung to him, her hands tracing the corded muscles in his back and shoulders as she learned and savoured each curve.

  He drew back, murmuring a swift reassurance when she moaned in protest, dragging off the robe and shirt and tossing them carelessly aside. He came back to pull her into his arms and mould her against the bareness of his torso so that their fl
esh merged, their heartbeats echoing each other.

  Natalie ran her hands over his skin, letting it flow beneath her fingers like silk, warm, smooth and vital. Against her naked breasts she could feel the coarseness of hair, its abrasive touch making her nipples throb heavily.

  When Flynn drew her down to lie beside him on the blanket before easing away the rest of her clothes, she watched his face, thrilling to the way his aqua eyes glittered possessively, his face contracting so that every line seemed to be etched like a sculpture. She reached up and smoothed her hands over the curve of his brow and cheekbones, the hard masculine perfection of his narrow lips, loving him at that moment more than she’d thought it possible to love anyone...

  ‘Another mask, Flynn?’ she queried tenderly, her voice a bare soft whisper in the desert silence.

  He captured her hand to press a kiss to her palm before laying it gently on the blanket at her side as he turned her beneath him, his eyes holding a flame which made the excitement inside her flare. ‘No masks, Natalie. Just you and me with nothing to hide behind now.’

  She smiled as she brushed his mouth with an openmouthed kiss, feeling the deep shudder which rippled through his powerful body, an echo of the one running through her. ‘No, no masks now, Flynn, and no barriers,’ she whispered.

  And suddenly there was no need for words, no need for anything but the magic which rose and claimed them, carrying them far above the desert skies to undreamed-of heights.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  MORNING came slowly, just a hint of red spilling along the dark horizon. The ancient Egyptians who had worshipped the sun and its god, Ra, had believed that each morning Ra sailed across the heavens in one of his barques, bringing the light with him. Natalie watched the slow tide seep across the sky and found it only too easy to accept that simple explanation. There was a timeless beauty about the desert landscape which defied modern attempts to explain its mysteries. If only she could remain here, away from the reality of life, but wishing wouldn’t hold back the dawning day as Ra sailed on, or hold back what she had to face.

  She closed her eyes and let her mind drift back to what had happened between her and Flynn the night before, feeling a strange mixture of joy and sadness. For years now she had believed that she was in love with Marcus, but last night had shown her how wrong she had been. Marcus had entered her life at a time when she had needed stability, someone to turn to, and he had always fulfilled that role. She loved him but wasn’t in love with him and there was a world of difference between the two now that she’d had the chance to find out what love really felt like. Yet while she felt a heady joy to have discovered something so precious she couldn’t help but feel sad at the realisation that Marcus’s role in her life would be now irrevocably altered as he assumed the rightful position of a dear friend.

  ‘Natalie.’

  His voice barely disturbed the silence of the new dawn but Natalie felt her heart leap, her body tense. She looked round, flushing as she found Flynn watching her. He frowned as he crossed the space between them and dropped down to crouch beside her, his face darkening with anger as he studied her heightened colour, her sudden tension.

  ‘Don’t! There’s nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn’t wrong what we did, Natalie!’

  He must have misinterpreted her feelings yet his words unwrapped a host of others she hadn’t experienced up till then. She still had no real idea what Flynn felt for her but that hadn’t prevented her from giving herself to him last night with an abandonment which still sent fire through her veins when she recalled it now. She looked away from his searching gaze, wondering hollowly what he thought of her, if he thought she should feel ashamed and that was why he had spoken of it.

  ‘I...I never thought I could give myself to anyone that way,’ she whispered brokenly.

  The soft confession admitted so much and Flynn straightened abruptly, walking a little way away from her. ‘Then I was right, Natalie,’ he said harshly, ‘You hadn’t made love before?’.

  Her breath caught at the sudden note of fury in his voice. ‘I... No. Are you angry with me for...for not telling you, Flynn?’

  He stared towards the horizon, a tension about him she couldn’t understand. Why was he so angry about her keeping her innocence a secret? It hadn’t been deliberate; it had all happened so fast last night, that wild, abandoned passion flaring to life so that there had been no time for anything else.

  ‘Flynn...?’

  He swung round, his face shadowed as he stood with his back to the rising sun. ‘I thought that you and Marcus were close.’

  Her face flamed at the cold accusation and she glanced down as she pleated the ragged ends of her dress between nervous fingers, wondering why he was behaving like this, almost like a stranger. She loved him! Last night as they had finally drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms she had made up her mind to tell him that this morning, buoyed up by a courage stemming from the passion they had unlocked in each other. Now she couldn’t bring herself to make the admission to a man who was treating her like a stranger rather than the woman he had made love with just hours before!

  ‘We are...but not in that way. Marcus thinks of me as a sister, nothing more.’

  Flynn slammed one fist into the other, anger flowing from him, frightening her because she couldn’t understand the reason for it. ‘I don’t understand any of this,’ she said with a hard-won dignity. ‘Neither your anger nor the fact that it seems to upset you that my... relationship with Marcus isn’t what you imagined it to be. Just what is going on, Flynn? I think I deserve an explanation.’ She gave a short, bitter laugh. ‘Perhaps it’s the only thing I do deserve!’

  He took a step towards her, his eyes burning with a dangerous light. ‘Meaning what exactly? That you feel guilty and wish last night had never happened? Well, my sweet, it’s rather too late to have second thoughts now!’

  It was the last thing she wished but she wouldn’t tell him that, not when he was acting like this! His cruelty brought her to her feet, her face the colour of parchment now. ‘Damn you, Flynn, how dare you presume to tell me how I feel? Maybe you’re imbuing me with your feelings, seeking ways to excuse what you did?’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous! This has nothing to do with what I feel but it has everything to do with you, Natalie!’

  ‘Is that right? I beg to differ. I think you’re the one feeling guilty this morning, and I wonder why? Could it be that last night was some sort of game to you? A way to find out if the old O’Rourke charisma was still as strong as ever!’ She tossed her hair out of her eyes, cutting an oddly vulnerable figure in her ruined dress as she faced him proudly. ‘Well, to set your mind at rest, I can tell you it’s just as potent as it ever was! I fell for it, didn’t I? So what better endorsement could there be than having a twenty-three-year-old virgin fall under your spell?’

  She swung round with no idea of where she was going, only wanting to get away from him and from this pain which was tearing her apart. Yet before she managed more than a couple of steps Flynn was beside her, his hands hard and bruising as he swung her back and glared into her eyes.

  ‘Oh, no, you don’t! You’re not getting away with that, Natalie. I never set out to charm you last night and you know it. What happened was a direct result of how we both felt, that desire which neither of us could control. You weren’t seduced any more than you were raped. We made love because we both wanted to. And I’ll be damned if I’ll let you appease your guilty conscience now by laying the blame on me!’

  ‘Why, you...!’ She struggled wildly, her fists flailing at his chest as she sought to make him free her. He let her struggle, holding her until she was exhausted, his face unreadable in the sharp, clear light as the sun rose.

  ‘You wanted me, Natalie, the same way that I wanted you.’

  ‘No, I—’

  He stopped the words with a kiss, his lips hard and unrelenting, intent on making her admit to herself what he already knew. Natalie turned her face away when he raised his head,
tears sparkling on her lashes, and heard him utter a low oath under his breath as he turned it back and bent again, his lips gentle and achingly tender now as they parted hers.

  Natalie wanted to tell him to stop, to make him see that this wasn’t the answer, that they needed to talk and clear up all the silly misunderstandings, but the passion they had shared just hours before was building again, making her thoughts fragment.

  Flynn drew back to stare into her face, his green eyes filled with an urgency he made no attempt to disguise. ‘We made love last night because we wanted one another. That was the only reason and I want you to remember that!’

  Why did she have the sudden feeling that it was important to him? And why did that fill her with a deep sense of foreboding she couldn’t explain? ‘Flynn, I...’ She got no further, the words fading as did the thought when his mouth took hers in a drugging kiss which spun her back into the magic as though it had been minutes, not hours since they had last shared it.

  When Flynn drew her down to lie beside him on the blanket and began to caress each soft curve as his lips drank from hers she moaned softly, a tiny, sensuous admission of his power over her, their power over each other. Each soft kiss, each slow caress built the fire, fanned the flames, sent the passion soaring between them, a passion which seemed more stunningly potent, even more forceful than the night before because now it seemed to be edged with a kind of desperation.

  When at last they lay spent in each other’s arms again, the sun warming their skin, he stared deep into Natalie’s eyes. ‘Remember this, Natalie. Never forget what we’ve shared because this is what’s real and important, nothing else!’

  She shivered, suddenly cold in the sun’s golden rays. She searched his face, wanting to understand what he meant yet afraid to ask in case it damaged this precious feeling they shared. Instead she opted for the truth as she knew it now, the truth she wanted him to know: that she loved him. ‘I lo——’