After The Rabbit (Waldo Rabbit Series)

by Chereta, Nelson

  “Merely be careful where you grip.”

  Alice cautiously approached. “Where do I put my hands?”

  “Right here, at the base. Use both and grip it tightly.”

  She did as she was told. “Like this?”

  The Duke nodded enthusiastically. “Marvelous, you’ve held one before?”

  “No, this is my first time. I’ve seen plenty of men with them of course, even a few women.”

  “That is rare, but I’ve seen it as well. You’re a natural. Would you like to try swinging it around a little?”

  “Is it safe?”

  “So long as you don’t let go and don’t become too wild it’s fine. You need to get used to the feel of it in your palms. It has a name you know, “Lawgiver.””

  Alice gave a slight shake of her head. “Why do men always feel the need to name everything?”

  “It’s a matter of pride I suppose. I sometimes use it to punish the wicked. I feel a ruler should handle things personally now and again. I tell you, when they see me holding this in my hand criminals’ knees begin to shake.”

  “I believe it,” she was already getting used to holding it. It felt surprisingly natural. “If I had one do you think men would be afraid of me?”

  “Likely not at first, but once they saw how you could handle it…”

  Waldo entered the dining hall.

  “Am I interrupting?”

  Alice was standing with the duke near the head of the table. In her hands was a broadsword. The blade gave off a minor golden aura. Waldo could sense magic radiating from it, enough to mark a significant enchantment.

  “I just thought I would show your wife what it feels like to hold a sword. Would you like to try it Master Rabbit?”

  “That’s quite all right.” From one of the hidden pockets of his robe he produced his wand. “This is all I need.”

  The duke glanced from the foot long wand to the four and a half foot sword.

  “Mine is bigger.”

  “Mine shoots out fire.”

  Duke Griffinheart considered that and gave a grunt. “I can see where that would be useful.”

  XXX

  Waldo, Alice, and Belle were out on the streets of Norwich. Waldo had cast his detection spell and they were travelling through the city in hopes of spotting some sign of a monster. But despite his best efforts Waldo had yet to spot anything.

  “Well?” Alice asked.

  “Nothing,” Waldo said. “So far as I can tell the duke was right, no evidence of monsters inside the city walls.”

  “Except for us,” Belle noted.

  “Shush,” Alice hissed and glanced up and down the street. No one particularly close to them. People were still eager to keep their distance.

  Belle sent her an eye roll. “Don’t be so worried sweetheart.”

  “The punishment for a monster being in this city is to be burned at the stake.” She turned to Waldo. “So does this mean we can finally leave?”

  “Not yet.”

  “But why not? Everyone we ask says there’s nothing to find, and your own magic is telling you the same. Why can’t we go?”

  “We’ll search for at least a couple more days. If we still have nothing at that point we can move on.”

  Alice wanted to be gone from this place now, not in a couple more days. Her only solace was knowing at least they wouldn’t be here a week as they had been in Middleton.

  “So where do we go when we leave Master?”

  “We’ll head north into the marshes.”

  “What? Darling that is not a good idea! Have you not been listening to people? The marshes are teeming with goblins. The patrols won’t even cross into them.”

  “Which is what makes it an ideal place for a Great Monster. The map I was given told me I’d find one here. But if there isn’t one in the city itself it might be hiding nearby.”

  Alice was not sure which was worse, going into the marshes or staying here. Thinking about it she decided a horde of goblins were less frightening than seeing Lancel again.

  “You know,” Waldo said. “The duke’s sword was rather impressive.”

  Alice immediately narrowed her eyes. “I suppose.”

  “I’ve seen a few, my family doesn’t specialize in evocation magic, but we did keep some enchanted weapons and armor. The spells usually just make the blade’s edge sharper and the metal harder. I suspect the duke’s sword was given much stronger features.”

  “I think he said something about being able to cut through trees in one swing.”

  Waldo nodded. “Some archmage probably spent months working on it, placing just the right combination of spells. Every knight, mercenary, and raider dreams of magical arms, but few mages have the necessary skills. The buyers outnumber the sellers at least a thousand to one. I am sure someone would be willing to pay a small fortune for such a sword.”

  “You really are trying to get us killed aren’t you?”

  “Not at all. We can get the sword just before we leave.”

  “Right, we’re going to steal the duke’s greatest treasure and walk away. How exactly?”

  “You owe me five Charms, remember?”

  She shut her eyes and put a hand to her face. “Oh Cannassa have mercy.”

  XXX

  He was trailing them. Having on a faded grey cloak over his worn tunic and trousers he blended in. No one would think it strange he hung back from a White Mage. Except in times of trouble folk never wanted them around. He certainly didn’t, White Mages were almost as hard on his kind as on monsters. The bastards loved killing criminals and making examples of them.

  “Such an unreasonable bunch,” he muttered beneath his breath.

  The authorities here, and in most of Lothas, were sensible. So long as you didn’t steal from a noble or certain important people, the guards didn’t get too worked up about a little theft. If you weren’t stealing from the wrong persons the punishment was usually just to be receive a few lashes in the marketplace. Normally only novices or incompetents ever got caught. Something which obviously did not apply to him.

  Normally, he would have kept well clear of any white. The risk was too great, even for someone as talented as him. But the moment he’d spotted her the temptation had been too great to resist. Everyone knew White Mages traveled alone, but this one had arrived with a couple of wenches. One was a woman barbarian bigger, and more muscled than a blacksmith. He wouldn’t want to get in an argument with her, never mind anything else. The other traveling companion the wizard had was something entirely different.

  He had been with his share of women, and then some, but in his life he’d never spotted a beauty like her. Her body was absolutely perfect, with just the right sort of curves in exactly the right places. The face was beautiful, fiery hair caught the eye, and the way her hips swung rhythmically as she walked spoke of grace and elegance.

  And those tits! Incredible!

  Despite the danger he’d immediately decided to go and introduce himself. Most men would think robbing her a poor way to go about it, but in his experience it always left a strong impression. Women were always attracted to men who were dangerous. If you brought them a flower after stealing a purse, and begged their forgiveness sounding sincere and such, they would usually not only forgive, but spread their legs for you. For a man like him it was almost unfair.

  Of course, before long, most would start to get ideas about love and romance. Even though he was careful never to make those sorts of promises the girls would still get mad when they found out he was plowing other fields. Women could be so unreasonable about certain things.

  Which reminds me, I need to get Marriana some flowers. Benvida too, and Holli, and is Polla still mad at me? It’s been a week. Ah well, I’ll get her flowers too, I did sleep with her cousin, most girls don’t like that.

  Inside his cloak was a single perfect rose. When he saw them turn down Sparrow Way he waved three fingers over his head. Markus saw and dashed off to set things up. Sparrow Way wa
s a very narrow street, a really big man might be able to touch houses on both sides at once. He picked up his pace to begin closing the distance between him and the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

  He would grab her by the wrist and twirl her around. In his other hand would be the rose. For you, my beautiful lady. Of course she would be taken by surprise and breathless. She would recognize him and probably accuse him of being a thief. I beg your forgiveness, it wasn’t your purse I was after, but your heart. The ladies always started to melt when they heard that line. Usually, at that moment, he would give them back what he’d stolen. The typical purse only had maybe ten to thirty copper tokes, given how much a pretty Soiled Dove cost it was a good investment. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t be doing that this time, there’d been gold and silver in her purse. More wealth than he would normally see in a whole year. White Mages really were as rich as people said. It would make things harder, but he liked a challenge, and he knew just how to win a pretty girl’s heart.

  As they neared Frog Street he was within fifteen feet of her. He was careful to keep his head down on the off chance she looked back. Being spotted before he could perform his introduction would ruin the effort. He was close enough to overhear them.

  “Why are you so obsessed with us getting gold anyway?” His red haired beauty asked. “I mean it’s not as if you even appreciate it.”

  How could anyone not appreciate having gold?

  “It's necessary for me to bring back proof of my success. Mother would expect sacks of gold along with the skulls of my enemies and slaves. You know, trophies. I don’t want to disappoint my mother.”

  “When exactly did you stop sucking from your mother’s teat? The week before we met?”

  The white wizard sent her a look of annoyance. He made sure to put a hand over his face until the mage looked away again.

  “Which reminds me, we need to start collecting the heads of the people we kill.”

  “You want us to go around carrying heads?”

  “Well,” the white wizard said. “We could bring scalps, but skulls are just more impressive.”

  “Don’t worry Master,” the muscly savage woman said. “I’ll carry them for you.”

  “Thank you Belle.”

  For a moment he considered turning around and walking away. If it was possible this White Mage was even scarier than expected.

  But Frog Street was coming up.

  The wizard and barbarian were walking a little ahead of his beauty.

  And the red haired woman’s tits still drew the eye. Every step she took, every twist of her shoulders or the way the snug blouse accentuated that chest after each ripple of movement drew the eye. The mere thought of getting his hand on her made him salivate.

  He put two fingers to his mouth and gave two quick whistles.

  It looked like Markus had gotten things ready in time. A horse drawn wagon pulled out and then stopped right at the top of the intersection, blocking off Sparrow Way. The White Mage and barbarian had been forced to step lively to keep from being run over. The beauty had been trailing a few steps behind and was momentarily cut off.

  “You blind idiot!” She yelled. “You almost ran them over!”

  This was the moment. He dashed forward, taking the rose out in his right hand as he deftly grabbed her wrist with his left and yanked, spinning her about.

  “For you…” That was all he was able to get out.

  “Eek!”

  The girl backhanded him. Despite being just a woman he was sent flying. One moment he’d been about to present her with his flower. The next he was lying on his back in the middle of the street, his pride and rump suddenly aching. He sat up and saw his perfect rose lying atop a dog turd. This wasn’t quite going as he’d planned.

  “I am so sorry,” she came up to him. “I don’t like being touched by men.”

  Well this might not be so bad. He flashed her an embarrassed grin and jumped to his feet. “Then I am sure men from here to the Inner Sea are weeping.”

  Women loved being told how special they were. He expected to get some sort of thanks or nervous denial. Instead, he got a sudden look of recognition and, in his imagination, fangs.

  “Hey! I know you! You robbed me.”

  “True,” he stepped back and gave her a practiced bow which seemed at odds with his ragged appearance. “My name is Daring, Cleptus Daring, I am a master thief. But you don’t need to be afraid, I…”

  “Where is my purse?” Her fists were clenched and she took a step towards him.

  The reaction caught him off guard. It was something he would expect from a man in a bar. Women were always intimidated when they first realized he was an outlaw.

  This girl seemed to be the exception.

  “I am sorry my sweet, but as you can see I don’t have it with me.”

  She took another step towards him. Instinctively he took one back and slid a hand to one of his daggers. He’d been in dozens of fights and barroom brawls in his life, and he could recognize the signs of menace she was sending. He was also painfully aware she was very strong despite being a mere woman.

  “I want my money back or I am going to hurt you.”

  Daring swallowed. He actually believed her. This was really not going the way he’d expected. His gut was telling him it was time to go, but how could he run away from a female? Especially this gorgeous, if scary, one?

  As he was debating what to do there was a loud creak and some shouts and the whinny of a horse. Daring saw the back of the wagon being lifted up about five feet into the air. The homely barbarian girl was holding it up with one hand.

  “Hey sweetheart, Master wants to get going.”

  The decision was suddenly made very easy. Dashing forward he planted a quick kiss on her lips. It lasted just a fraction of a heartbeat, but long enough for him to see her violet eyes widen and to know she tasted as sweet as fresh picked cherries.

  “Eek!” She tried to punch him, really punch him, but he was able to duck beneath her fist.

  He turned and ran as fast as he could.

  “I love you!” He called over his shoulder. “Visit the Inn of the Hungry Snake and we will meet again my lady.”

  She was rubbing her lips with the back of her hand. “You disgusting pig!”

  He laughed. “I’ve been called worse my love.”

  “Come back here! Thief! Stop thief!” She lifted the hem of her skirt and began chasing him.

  “Damn it,” he cursed beneath his breath.

  The people in his way all stepped aside. The common folk weren’t going to get involved. If he ran into some guards on patrol though, things would get bad.

  “I want back what you took from me!”

  “You and half the maids in this city.” Looking over his shoulder he was startled to see she was actually catching up. He was fast on his feet and could easily outrun most men. It had been a long while since anyone had threatened to chase him down.

  Despite the seriousness of his situation he couldn’t help but gape. Not only were her breasts heaving and bouncing, he was getting a clear view of those shapely legs. The murderous fury only made her even more irresistible. Scary women had a special sort of allure.

  Up ahead was a cart resting directly below a second story window. Without breaking stride he ran up onto the cart and leapt off of it, stretching out to snag the edge of the window sill. He swung his legs back and used all of his momentum to fling himself up into the air. He tumbled and landed, on his feet, upon the tiled roof.

  In the street below he saw his beautiful maid gazing up at him.

  “I know, I’m amazing.”

  She was shaking, and he would swear she really did have fangs. “I am going to kill you.”

  “You will have to get in line, love.”

  He was just about to start laughing when she ran to the same cart and jumped off of it. She missed the window sill… but her fingers clawed into the wooden side of the house with a loud, clear ‘thunk’. She then started clim
bing up to the roof like a damn squirrel.

  His jaw dropped. “I like an aggressive woman, but this is a bit much.”

  He started running again.

  She pulled herself up onto the roof and began chasing.

  “You know I've had women angry with me before, most usually threaten to send their brothers or husbands after me.” He leapt over an alley way and onto the next building.

  “I am getting back my money and then I am going to beat you to death for what you did.”