No Engagement Ring

by Julie Sewcharan

  “Good thank you.”

  Jonathan groaned inwardly. He wished she would answer him with more than single phrases where feelings were concerned. He wanted a decent conversation with her. He wanted her to get to know him – as a man.

  “Still feeling overwhelmed at doing it?” he tried again.

  She stopped what she was doing and looked at him. He stopped too and looked at her questioningly.

  “I am grateful that you talked me into it. And showed me that I am never on my own, that God has my back. I really appreciate it.” Off course, he hadn't only helped her realise it with the production but in her personal life too. Only she wished, he had been there all those months ago. But she wasn't going to share that with him.

  The humility in her voice stirred him and he had the urge to hug her but he knew that to touch her would be the worst step he could take at this stage.

  Instead, he smiled warmly. “It's my pleasure and my duty,” he grinned.

  She smiled back and for a moment, he saw a connection but it disappeared as quickly.

  “Goodnight!” she said as she gathered her things to leave not waiting for a response from him.

  “Goodnight!” he called after her retreating back.

  He shook his head. She was not going to co-operate with him so he would have to create opportunities to be alone with her and get her to see him as more than her pastor.

  Chapter 9

  An opportunity came not too long after. He knew that Hannah was involved in the charity department and according to Ron Moody, Hannah was really into charity work and wanted to do more than just the usual. He was banking on that being exactly what he needed to fuel their relationship.

  Certain that she would not be inhibited to talk about charity work, he went in search of her the next day and found her in her classroom. She was getting ready for practice.

  “Hi, Hannah!” he greeted amicably.

  “Hello, pastor Chandler!” she greeted with a smile.

  Jonathan winced at her insistent use of his title. But his face remained placid. Soon, he hoped to hear her call him by his first name.

  “How can I help you, today?” she asked pleasantly.

  “I was wondering if you would like to go to the shelter for abused woman in the city centre? We could go on Saturday afternoon.”

  Initially, her eyes lit up with interest but then she looked at him, processing what he was saying. After a short pause, she cocked her head and asked, “Which team is going?”

  “No team. Just the two of us.”

  She shook her head. “We can't. You have a reputation to protect and the two of us going alone would not bode well for you. Sorry, I have to go set up now. Hope you find someone who can go with you,” she said kindly, exiting gracefully.

  She was so matter of fact, that it took a good while for Jonathan to understand that he had been rejected. Not in a bad way though; she was more concerned about him.

  “So much for that opportunity!” he muttered. “Lord what am I supposed to be doing?”

  “Just let Me handle this,” the Lord said with understanding.

  Jonathan knew better than to argue. He went back to the church only to be despondent. Luke and Hannah were well into a conversation that they were both enjoying while waiting for the rest of the participants to arrive. They seemed so intimate! Without intruding, he went to his office and prayed.

  Hannah and Luke were getting on quite well and they made a great team but Luke was more perceptive than Hannah was aware. If he had any aspirations towards being more than friends with her, he would have to quell them immediately! But since he didn't, he was off the hook. However, he wondered if Hannah was aware of her feelings for the man she saw as only her pastor?

  He doubted it or she was good at hiding that away, a big surprise since she was such an open book. Neither was the man who had her heart aware that he did. It was not something he was going to get involved in, Luke knew. The Lord had ways to work out things and he certainly didn't doubt this would work out.

  But for now, he was aware that she was concentrating hard on the production. Small wonder! It was her first time and she was doing very well. With just over three weeks to go, the children were almost ready. Luke was certain that the production would be a success.

  Exhausted, though she was, Hannah was looking forward to the matric farewell party that evening. Luke had quickly run her home and waited for her to get dressed in her 'spring coloured' clothes before dropping her off at the school again where he parted ways with her. The chaperones were required to dress as they would for school so that there would be a distinction between teachers and pupils.

  Hannah didn't mind as she had no 'party' clothes. Tonight, there was no practice for the major participants were attending the party. Three teachers would be on duty at the matric farewell. It was a sufficient amount of teachers to oversee the small group of matriculants.

  At five fifteen, Hannah entered the school hall. It was big enough to hold the number of children in the school all at the same time. Constructed in a rectangle, it allowed for a small platform on which to put the podium and the microphones. Tonight, the usually bland, hall was decorated beautifully, with all things spring.

  Last minute adjustments were being made to the room before the children were to arrive at six o'clock in their 'black tie' attire. Hannah was looking forward to seeing them all dressed up. Secular music was playing in the background as the hired DJ tested the sound system. Soothing sounds emanated from the speakers; not the heavy music most teenagers were listening to these days.

  Lending a hand was not a difficult thing for Hannah, but everything was under control she was told so she just walked around the hall taking in the transformation and layout. It was going to be just Hannah, Carter and Bernice in attendance. They would have to ensure that everything ran smoothly and without incident. A task that, hopefully, was not too difficult.

  The other two teachers arrived at five thirty, also dressed in spring colours. Pupils, with their dates, started arriving just after six in beautiful array. The girls were resplendent in beautiful ball gowns, with smart hairdo and make-up. The boys wore tuxedos, polished formal shoes and neat hair styles.

  The three teachers walked around the hall as the pupils socialised before the formalities. At just before six thirty, Mrs Hart arrived with her husband to give the speech. Everyone was called to be seated at six thirty promptly. Only the three teachers were standing on the outskirts of the seating area.

  Mrs Hart's speech was warm, generous and encouraging as she paid tribute to the hard working students who would no longer be a part of the school, next year. She applauded their outstanding character and eagerness to learn as well as their willingness to help. Every pupil seated there had a proud look on their face.

  As Sarah, spoke, Hannah's thoughts drifted to her matric year. She had attended a government school with more than quadruple the amount of matriculants. Theirs was quite a riotous farewell with most students getting out of hand. Her father had fetched her early from the party. It was just as well, she had admitted afterwards, even though it was embarrassing at the time.

  The date she had taken to the farewell had ditched her not long after they'd arrived, so it wasn't that she needed to cling to him. Not that she minded; it was a bargain they'd struck. He was her cousin.

  After Sarah's speech, the pupils were treated to a buffet supper followed by dancing and socialising. Mr and Mrs Hart would leave after supper. Sarah's husband was a delightful man; quite comical. He was about the same age as his wife, not a very tall man but quite slim and still handsome. They were seated with the other teachers at a table separate to the pupils. Hannah thoroughly enjoyed Mr Hart's company. Alas, the Harts didn't stay very long, leaving immediately after dessert.

  As soon as the Harts were safely out of earshot, the pupils 'let their hair down'. Noise reigned in the hall even though they were not a large crowd. The music was turned up and they danced and laughed and chatted a
nd had good, clean fun. It was endearing to watch them.

  By nine o'clock though, Hannah was very sleepy. She leaned against the wall for support as she watched the pupils, not that they were any trouble; she was just doing her job! A yawn escaped her mouth, which she couldn't help.

  “These things can be a real bore,” she heard Jonathan's amused voice behind her.

  Hannah's skin prickled. Where had he come from? She hadn't seen him enter the hall but then with her back to the door, it would not be possible to see anyone enter.

  Straightening up, she turned to face him and almost bumped into him. Was she that sleepy, that she didn't even know how close he was?

  Moving back a few paces, she answered, “Oh, no it isn't boring. Just different. Why are you still here?” she asked to take the spotlight off her. She didn't fancy sharing her matric farewell experience with him in case he asked.

  “Just popped in to see how the party's going,” he shrugged taking in the scene before him.

  “How long does it run for?” she asked stifling another yawn.

  “Until around ten. They do have to be at school tomorrow, so they need to get home before it is too late.”

  Looking at her watch she thought aloud, “Just about fifty five minutes to go.”

  Jonathan looked at her closely. Her beautiful face looked weary which should be expected. Giving more than was necessary to the production and helping at the matric farewell was taking a toll. “I could stand in for you if you want to go home,” he suggested mildly.

  She looked at him warily then softened her look as she realised he was trying to help. “That sounds very tempting but what about Bernice and Carter?”

  “They're old hands at this. Besides, they don't have to help with the production,” he offered.

  She thought for a while before answering, “If you let them know that you offered, I will gladly take you up on the offer.”

  He laughed. “You drive a hard bargain, but I will hasten to do your bidding.” He made a bow as if on stage and went off to speak to the other two teachers. Hannah shook her head.

  It wasn't long before he returned. “They have no objections!” he reported like a soldier. “And Sarah will not oppose it either if she were here.”

  “Thank you!” she sighed. “Good night!” She started to walk towards the door and suddenly stopped. Turning back to him, she said woefully, “I just realised that I was getting a lift home with Carter.” She shook her head.

  “I could drop you off,” he offered keeping his voice steady but he could see the indecision on her face. “It won't take me long to do that and get back here.”

  She was torn between being alone with him in his car and passing up the early night. A battle waged within her. Was she brave enough to withstand the close proximity? Finally she decided that she would have to be or faint from exhaustion.

  “If you don't mind the trip?” It was more a plea.

  Five minutes with her. His heart leapt with joy but it would do him no good to display any form of excitement.

  “Off course,” he answered coolly. “I'll let Carter know.”

  It was a short drive to Emily's. As soon as they got there, she jumped out of the car without waiting for him to open the door. Relieved to be able to breathe normally again, she said a quick goodnight and disappeared through the gate. Jonathan shook his head in frustration.

  Once inside the cottage, Hannah slowed down and took a deep breath. That was too much, she decided. It consumed her to be in such close proximity to him, even thought she tried to sit as close to the door as possible. Sleep did not come easy that night even though she was exhausted.

  Bleary, she trudged into the school grounds the next morning with a weary greeting to the guards. She wondered how late they actually finished and didn't have to wait long to find out.

  “Hey, Hannah! You look tired still,” Bernice said as she approached the teacher's lounge. Usually Hannah was there earlier than most of the teachers but today, she could not drag herself out of bed.

  “Too many late nights, I guess,” she tried to smile.

  “It must be heavy on you, your involvement with the production,” Bernice said kindly.

  “Almost there,” Hannah said with a stronger voice. “What time did you and Carter leave?”

  “We left not long after you. Jonathan said he would watch the pupils for the rest of the duration. That was so nice of him,” Bernice said gracefully.

  “Yes, that was nice,” Hannah agreed casually but her heart swelled at how thoughtful he was.

  She was getting to know more about him as a person and was liking what she learned, scary though it was where her feelings were heading.

  Dwelling on his kindness, throughout the day, was not helping for she found her mind drifting to all the kind things he'd done for her since the day she arrived there. It even played havoc with the practise. Luke had to give her a shake every now and then.

  “You are more tired than you wish to admit,” he eventually stated seriously.

  Hannah nodded glad that it was the excuse she could use, even though she knew it was not the reason for her lack of concentration. But she wasn't going to let anyone know about what was in her heart.

  But her heavenly Father knew! For that night, she dreamt that she was in a chapel in a brilliant white wedding gown walking down the aisle. The beauty of the dress surpassed anything she had seen; not even a master designer could have created that dress. The brightness of it bathed the entire chapel in a warm glow.

  Stage smoke filled the chapel making only outlines visible. No guests were present or if they were she was not able to see them. As she walked down the aisle, she could see her groom standing in front with his back to her. He didn't turn when she approached; only stretched out his hand.

  Looking down at the hand held out to her, she thought, 'I know these hands' although it wasn't anyone's she had seen. Before she could look up to the face of its owner, she woke up in a sweat wondering why she had dreamt that and what it meant. That dream had never occurred before and it would not occur again. Only much later would she be privy to its meaning.

  Pondering on the dream, she got out of bed and made herself an herbal tea. It was only two in the morning. Getting back to sleep might prove difficult, she thought. So she put on a CD and sang along. Worship came easily after the first two songs.

  How long she worshipped, she did not know for when she woke up, the sun was streaming in through the gaps in the curtains. And with it, came the vivid memory of her dream. A dream she was beginning to cherish.

  Stretching, she got out of bed and checked her phone for messages, then gasped as she realised the time. It was already eight o'clock. Never had she slept this late, except when she was ill and that wasn't often.

  Panicky, she rushed to the bathroom, then realised that it was Saturday; no school or practise today. She had the day off, sort of. Although she wasn't at school, or attending the young people's group gathering – which they had postponed – she was going to give music lessons which she did now and then; not as often as she used to. However, it was a good two hours before she needed to be there.

  Leisurely, she showered and dressed, then made some breakfast. Just as she was sitting down to eat, Emily knocked on her door.

  “Hi, Mrs Garrick!” she greeted cheerfully letting Emily in.

  “Good morning, Hannah,” Emily said distractedly coming into the cottage. “I saw your light on in the early hours of the morning,” Emily got right to it. “Is everything okay?”

  The concern on her face warmed Hannah's heart. She loved Emily more each day. “Yes, Mrs Garrick. I just had a puzzling dream, that's all. Nothing serious.” Hannah smiled reassuringly.

  Emily let out a breath of relief. “I'm glad. Do you want to talk about it?”

  Hannah shook her head, unconcerned. It was one of those dreams one didn't want to share; at least not right away.

  “That's alright. As long as you are okay.” Emily's eyes hel
d a question.

  “I am great actually. I am not affected by it,” Hannah said, adding, 'adversely' in her mind.

  Emily looked at her for a moment. Hannah got the feeling the older woman was assessing her. She cringed inwardly.

  “Why don't you join us for supper tonight?” Emily invited non-committal.

  “Sure!” Hannah agreed quickly to shift the focus off her dream. It was a long time since she had fellowship with the Garricks, anyway.

  That evening, Hannah was seated in the Garricks', sitting room waiting for supper to be ready. Emily had a lasagne in the oven that needed a few more minutes. They were discussing biblical issues when the doorbell sounded.

  Hannah looked at Emily questioningly. “That must be Jonathan,” Emily announced as Derrick got up to open the door.

  Had Emily forgotten to mention that Jonathan would be there for supper or had she deliberately refrained from mentioning it? Hannah wondered. Emily and Derrick were both blasé about the whole thing so she assumed they had forgotten. It was going to be an awkward supper, especially with her conflicting feelings for Jonathan, but she couldn't very well leave now.

  Forcing down her nervousness, she greeted Jonathan who was just as surprised to find her there. But he quickly masked his surprise and smiled warmly at her.

  Supper was a strange affair. Derrick, Emily and Jonathan did most of the talking. Hannah answered with short sentences when necessary. No one questioned her though on her lack of participation. Much to her relief.

  After supper, Hannah was glad to escape to the kitchen to help Emily clean up. Dessert followed immediately after the dishes were packed in the dishwasher. It was during this time that Derrick decided to share some of his experiences as a missionary when he first gave his heart to Jesus.

  It took the strain off the evening for Hannah who was mesmerised by his accounts of what took place in the mission field. Here and there he interjected some funny moments. This was welcomed by Hannah who felt the heaviness of the experiences he was imparting.

  It wasn't long before Jonathan excused himself for the night, though. Hannah was surprised that she had actually not felt so intimidated while they were talking about mission work. It was almost as if he was not there. Which she chided herself for. Her parents had taught her never to ignore anyone, no matter who or what they were. She repented silently.