No Engagement Ring

by Julie Sewcharan

  “Yes, I do,” Hannah said fondly, gratefully. “I was just pondering on children. Did you...? Have you...?” Hannah found it difficult to word her question.

  “I never wanted to have children,” Jonathan helped her out. “My dad hardly ever had time for us, not that he didn't love us but the church was always coming before us. I didn't see the sense of having children if your life was going to be too busy to spend time with them.” He paused.

  “And Noelle? Did she want to have children?” Hannah asked, uncertainly, to fill the silence.

  “She didn't either,” Jonathan confirmed. “But after I got to know God, I realised that children were His and not really ours. Every child born is for God and we are just custodians of these precious gifts. That revelation made me realise I should want to have as many children as God will allow! Since I wasn’t thinking of remarrying back then, I did not spend much thought on it. After you came into my life, that changed. It is very much my desire to have children.”

  Hannah breathed a sigh of relief. “That's great! Because ever since I can remember, I have wanted as many children as I can have. As God wills off course,” she added with great hope.

  “I think He won't deny us that desire, especially with two willing people,” Jonathan said with a smile. Hannah agreed wholeheartedly.

  That Friday, they met for another session on the Holy Spirit and Hannah was glad to learn more. Jonathan was equally glad to have the opportunity to teach. During these sessions, he could see why God brought Hannah into his life. Not only did she challenge him but she also supported him. Also, they were drawing closer to each other. He was more than grateful.

  Still part of the young people's group, Hannah continued to attend the gathering. This Saturday entailed a Bible discussion. It was an intense and interesting discussion, one Hannah did not engage in too much. Since she wasn't comfortable to talk about things she wasn't absolutely certain of, she only offered view points when necessary. Also, she didn't want her engagement to slip out.

  “For a teacher, you sure don't talk much,” Chloe stated sarcastically in front of the group.

  Hannah smiled patiently. “I just want to preserve my voice for the children,” she stated.

  Both Meredith and Luke gave her a look to let her know they were proud of her. Hannah felt great. She had not felt intimidated by Chloe nor was she upset with her. In fact, she felt rather sorry for the girl and wondered what had caused her to have such an outlook on life. She was glad not everyone knew of her engagement to Jonathan. How would girls like Chloe treat her then?

  Afterwards, Luke took Hannah to the hospital to visit Clare. Meredith was unable to join them. Although Clare was glad to see them, she had a closed look in her eyes.

  “Clare, what is the matter?” Hannah asked perceptively, her voice full of concern. Clare hesitated. “It's okay. You can tell me and I will do whatever I can to help,” Hannah encouraged.

  “They are discharging me tomorrow,” was all Clare said but Hannah was instantly aware that she was worried about where she would find a safe place to stay outside of the hospital.

  “And you don't have a place of your own to go to,” Hannah said with understanding. “Don't worry. Pastor Chandler has already organised a place for you.”

  Clare looked at her suspiciously. “Where exactly did he organise it?” Barriers went up.

  “With two lovely widows who happen to be sisters. They are eager for your arrival. We were just not sure when you would be discharged but they have your room all ready.”

  Clare searched Hannah's face and when she was satisfied that Hannah was telling the truth, she nodded. There was no shout of joy or excitement, Hannah noted and her heart ached for the girl. Why should she get excited? Most likely, the girl had not had opportunities to be or get excited.

  Hannah stroked the girl's hand and smiled encouragingly. “What time do you think the doctor will discharge you?”

  “Other people got discharged around ten o'clock in the morning,” Clare informed unenthusiastically.

  “I'll be here before then, okay?”Hannah said reassuringly.

  Whether Clare believed her or not was hard to tell. The girl simply nodded without emotion. That evening, Hannah phoned Jonathan to inform him that Clare was being discharged and could he let Caroline and Denise know? She also informed him that she was going to the hospital earlier to be with Clare when the doctor discharged the girl.

  “And who is going to take you to the hospital?” he asked with unease. As much as he was glad Hannah was being very helpful, sometimes he worried that she forgot she was living in the city and how dangerous it was to go anywhere alone.

  “I will ask your mum and Derrick to drop me off,” she said with ease.

  “And how will you get to Caroline and Denise?”

  “I am sure I could get Meredith to fetch us,” Hannah said confidently.

  Jonathan had no choice but to accept that Hannah was going to be alright. He himself could not go with her until after the second service which would be too late. Neither could Luke go with her, he was needed until end of second service too.

  Suddenly, he was reminded that he needed to trust God in this. Hannah obviously trusted God and even though he wanted to make sure that no harm came to her, he understood that he had no control over anything and therefore had to leave her in God's hands.

  When they ended the conversation, he was more relaxed about the whole thing. Tomorrow, Clare's new journey began. An opportunity for both him and Hannah to speak into the girl's life.

  Chapter 20

  The widowed sisters were ecstatic to welcome Clare into their home, even if Clare was not displaying any kind of gratitude. After the first service, the Garricks were more than willing to drop Hannah off at the hospital.

  “Are you sure you don't want us to wait with you?” they asked for the umpteenth time.

  “Yes, I am,” Hannah answered gently. “I don't know exactly what time the doctor is going to get here. Besides, I already made arrangements with Meredith to fetch us. But thank you.”

  Reluctantly the Garricks left but not before she disappeared into the hospital. Hannah felt a swell of love for her future in-laws. They were really such caring people. Unsure how long she would have to wait, she made her way to Clare's ward.

  Eventually, they were out of the hospital and Meredith deposited them on the widowed sisters' doorstep, then left, not wanting to intrude. It was scary enough for Clare, she excused.

  Now, Hannah accompanied them on a tour of the house and Clare's room which was upstairs with the other bedrooms. Hannah spent most of the afternoon at the house, getting to know both sisters and making Clare as comfortable as possible. The widows provided them with a mouth watering lunch and plied them with refreshments throughout the day. At least it was the one thing Clare was grateful for, Hannah noted.

  Luke arrived in the evening to take Hannah home. With a promise to visit the next day and a hug, Hannah left a wary Clare behind. There was nothing Hannah could do so she prayed that Clare would start to feel comfortable almost immediately.

  After school, the next day, Hannah paid a visit to Clare. She was glad that Clare was not sulking too much. Both Caroline and Denise were more than adequately equipped to handle Clare, reassuring Hannah that these things took time but eventually, Clare would learn to trust them. Hannah didn't doubt that the sisters would be able to get Clare to trust them and others. They were such wonderful ladies.

  Hannah spent the evening with the three of them, getting to know Clare's story. She even got dinner, although she didn't want to intrude but Clare had shown her neediness to have Hannah there, forcing Hannah to stay. It was already seven when they were done and Hannah wondered how she would get home. Calling Jonathan would not be very wise in light of keeping their relationship a secret. She didn't want to bother Luke as she knew he and Meredith were going out that night.

  As if she had prayed, the doorbell rang. It was Jonathan! He had come to see how everything
was going. Though, she was very happy to see him, Hannah had to hide her reaction from the rest of group, wondering how Jonathan managed to school his features so easily. For if he was surprised to see her there, he didn't show it.

  Half an hour later, he was ready to leave. It was Denise who suggested that he give Hannah a lift. If the sisters saw any emotional connection between the two young people, they were discreet not to mention it.

  “How did you know I needed a lift home?” Hannah asked immediately they were in the car.

  “Instinct?” he teased. “Actually I was going to see the ladies yesterday but had no opportunity. This was the first one I had,” he confessed.

  “Well I am glad you did,” Hannah sighed. “I got carried away and didn't realise how late it was.”

  “And what caused you to get carried away?” he asked slightly amused.

  “The sad way things turned out for Clare. It was heart-rending to hear that she was abandoned by her mother when she young and the emotional abuse that she suffered from her father caused her to run away when she was just ten. She hasn't yet revealed how she got into the position she was when we found her, though. To be honest, it took much cajoling to get even some part of it from her.” Hannah sighed.

  “It will take time for her to open up fully but I have full confidence that you will find a way to make her open her heart,” Jonathan soothed.

  “Oh, that is brilliant!” Hannah exclaimed. Now it was Jonathan who was looking at her with wide eyes. “I know exactly what can open her heart, I think,” Hannah ended uncertainly.

  “Yes?” Jonathan encouraged.

  “Music,” Hannah continued uncertainly. “People like music even if they don't all like the same kind of music. I could teach her music!”

  “And she could tell her story through music,” Jonathan said with revelation. “I knew I was marrying a genius,” he smiled.

  They had reached her place. Hannah leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You are going to give me a big head,” she said happily.

  “I doubt it,” Jonathan said passionately. “You are far too modest!”

  She kissed him on the cheek again. Before he could say anything else, she got out of the car, realising just how dangerous it was for her to be doing that. Jonathan sighed. Hannah was more perceptive than they both realised.

  Music was something that Clare did relate to. Immediately, Hannah began lessons with the girl. With a slow start – Hannah didn't want her to retreat into a shell – it was difficult to gauge if there was any positive response but Hannah was determined to see it through. Also, it was a delight to both Caroline and Denise.

  Hannah was loving the company of the sisters too. Both of them were quite perceptive, giving her and Jonathan side long, knowing glances. But they were discreet about their observations and kept it to themselves. Their delight, though, was in spoiling her and Clare. Hannah did not mind at all and was pretty sure Clare didn't either, even though no one could tell what the girl was feeling or thinking. This she could live with for now, Hannah determined.

  School for Hannah was a breeze in the weeks leading up to the end of the school year. Most students were writing exams and the younger grades were not able to make much noise. Instead, they were given quieter activities.

  Between school, music lessons with Clare, getting together with the young people and planning the wedding, Hannah hardly saw Jonathan except if he visited Clare which was not frequent and on the Fridays when they went over the teaching on the Holy Spirit. But there wasn't much time to spend with each other at either of those meetings. She therefore looked forward to Wednesday evening which would be the third session of the course. It wasn't as daunting any more and with Jonathan encouraging her to ask questions, she felt good about it.

  “I need your help,” Jonathan stated as they drove.

  “My help?” Hannah reiterated dazed.

  “The worship team needs something new for the upcoming year end programme and I was wondering if you could perhaps give them some pointers?” He asked hopefully.

  “Oh I forgot about the year end thing,” she said unconcerned. “Do you take a lot of strain with it?'

  “Me? Not at all. Thankfully I am not involved, directly at least. But they do come to me for me input if they feel the necessity. So can you help?”

  “With new material?” She paused a moment. “Let me see what I can do. There's so much out there so it shouldn't be too difficult. Give me until Friday?”

  “I would like to but the event is this Saturday,” he said sighing.

  “And they left it until now?” she asked incredulously.

  “Apparently they were not contemplating anything new prior to today,” he shrugged.

  “Do you think they could pull it off by Saturday?” she asked doubtfully.

  “I believe so. Anything is possible with God.”

  “Yes! What was I thinking?” she berated herself.

  “Trust me, that would have been my reaction a few years ago. But after seeing miracle upon miracle, I have no doubts.”

  “It must awesome!” Her voice took on a dreamy state.

  “Absolutely. When what you are seeing is far from the positive, it is stupendous how God makes the impossible happen.”

  “I can't wait to experience that,” she said enthusiastically.

  “But you already are,” he said truthfully.

  “I am?”

  “You live in the city alone, right?”

  “Yes,” she stated hesitantly wondering how that fitted in with their conversation.

  “You made it on your own. What about your job? Clare?”

  Realisation dawned at the many things she achieved with God. “Oh, I never thought of it like that,” she stated in awe.

  She pondered that realisation throughout the evening and beyond. Later she had to go through the material of the session they explored that evening, not having paid too much attention to the teaching.

  Before going to school the next morning, Hannah took a trip to Jonathan's office. Fortunately, he was there and Laura wasn't...yet.

  “This is a lovely surprise,” he said smiling as she entered his office. At least now he could stand next to her and not worry about her deliberate removal of herself from him. She didn't do that anymore.

  “I thought I'd better drop this off before the start of the day,” she waved some papers after greeting him distractedly. “The sheet music for the something 'new' you asked about,” she explained at his blank look.

  He made to take it but she pulled it back. “You just cannot tell them where you got it from,” she pleaded, looking at him imploringly.

  “Certainly!” he said impatient to see it.

  Satisfied that he would keep his word, she handed the sheets to him. “The score for keyboard, guitar and even saxophone are all in here. The rest they can work out for themselves.”

  “Wow, that is impressive!” he said with great admiration. “But how do I explain where I got this from?”

  “You'll come up with something. You were ingenious with your occupation on the first day of the course,” she reminded him with a smile recollecting his answer.

  “Oh, that!” he shrugged more interested in the music sheets he held.

  “I prayed earnestly about this song and was led to share it. But no one must know. You are the only person I trust with that knowledge.” She was firm in her stance.

  Jonathan pulled her into his embrace. “Thank you. I will most certainly keep that trust.”

  “Thank you.” She was confident that he would. “But if they don't like it, then I will keep looking for other artists' work.”

  “I don't see how they would want to look further than this,” he said positively.

  “Wait until you hand that to the worship leader,” she smiled weakly. “I have to get to school before Mrs Hart reprimands me,” she said hurriedly. “With exams on, she is very edgy.”

  Jonathan laughed. “That's a very mild way of describing her temperament.
”

  “Then you know I can't be late,” she gave him a hug then exited before he could say anything else.

  Jonathan did not worry too much as he looked at the piece of music in his hand. He was no maestro but the lyrics were awesome and he was certain the music would be too. He couldn't wait to hear the band play it.

  As soon as Troy, the worship pastor arrived, he paid him a visit. “I have something you might be interested in,” Jonathan announced handing him the sheets. “New music,” Jonathan explained at Troy's blank look.

  “Oh, wow, that was quick.” Troy took the sheets and looked at it several minutes. He didn't comment.

  “And?” Jonathan asked casually.

  “Let me give it a try. Right now I think before things get hectic.”

  “Will you let me know once you've given it a run through? I'd like to hear it,” he stated authoritatively.

  “I'll give you a call as soon as I've done a practice,” Troy promised, heading off to the main church.

  Anxious, though he was, to hear Troy's comments, Jonathan had to suppress his emotions and behave as if he was just doing his duty. He would hear soon enough, he was sure. Being busy helped and by the time Troy called him, he had put the music sheets at the back of his mind. Now, though, he hurried to the main church, excited and anxious at the same time. No doubt, Hannah would take rejection much better if that were the case.

  Troy was playing the keyboard when he arrived. A lovely sound emanated from it. As soon as Troy spotted Jonathan, he stopped.

  “Wanna hear it?” Troy asked with a grin.

  “Sure,” Jonathan answered casually.

  Troy played out the song on the keyboard. Jonathan was stunned. It was absolutely beautiful. He heard Hannah play music and sing before and it had bowled him over but this was beyond that. She was a music gold mine. However, he could not ask more of her than she was offering. Someday, he prayed she would come out of her shyness and let the world enjoy her music but only when she was ready.

  “So? What do you think?” Troy had finished playing.