by B. Love
Kannon smiled. “Say fucking less.”
30
Makayla
“All I’m saying is, I don’t want the girl’s money. She got a dirty heart, too. If it weren’t for Sunshine and Austin, I wouldn’t deal with her at all.”
“You’re entitled to feel how you feel, but you also need to consider how you would feel if you healed,” Ray suggested.
It was one of the few times he checked his wife, Gina, because of how she disrespected Makayla. For whatever reason, Makayla was swayed by no one’s words except her mother. She could knock a bitch out with the quickness, yet felt like a five-year-old girl when it came to her mother. As always, Gina was holding on to the past…upset about the money Makayla gave Ray to pay for Gina’s birthday trip, but she sure had no problem taking it. It was why Austin spent the weekend at home with Makayla and Sunshine. But for whatever reason, Gina couldn’t be appreciative, and she just had to shame Makayla in some way when she dropped Sunshine off.
“Heal?” Gina scoffed. “Ain’t no healing from what she did to me.”
Ray chuckled. “That’s your problem. You’re taking a situation that was beyond her control personally. Makayla didn’t do anything to you, Gina.”
Sunshine’s pout made Makayla smile softly. She’d gotten her name because Gina swore she was the sunshine that came after the darkness of Melanie’s murder.
“It’s cool, baby,” Makayla assured. It didn’t matter how hurt or upset her mother made her, Makayla never allowed those feelings to show in front of her son and sister.
“I just don’t like when she talks about you like that.”
Makayla shrugged. “Ain’t nothing I can’t handle. Let me see the shoes, though, so I can get up outta here.”
The smile Makayla forced dropped as soon as Sunshine turned to go into her closet.
“How can you say that?” Gina asked, voice cracking. “What she did was very personal.”
“So you’re telling me she killed you?”
“Well, no, but…”
“Then she killed her sister?”
“Ray, you know that’s not…”
“Did she ask someone else to kill her sister?”
“…No.”
“Then you can’t take it personally and hold her responsible.”
“Bu—but Melanie wouldn’t have even been there if it weren’t for Makayla! She was trying to defend her sister…”
“Like you taught them to. Makayla fought Melanie’s battles all the time from what you told me. Melanie was protecting and helping her sister, there’s honor in that. Neither of them knew those cowards had knives. I can promise you, if they did, neither of them would have been there.” Makayla’s hands rubbed against one another anxiously. She didn’t realize it until Sunshine sat next to her and put her hands on top. Smiling bitterly, Makayla pushed back her tears.
“You can’t tell me how to feel. You don’t know the pain that comes from burying your child.”
“I understand that, baby,” Ray conceded softly. “But might I suggest, you consider, you have two other children, both of which need the best version of you possible. Makayla is still your daughter, and she needs you. Why do you think she tolerates your disrespect on a weekly basis? You keep it up, she will be the second daughter you lose. And I promise you, Sunshine won’t be that far behind.”
Gina huffed before muttering under her breath and stomping down the hall. Ray knocked and entered Sunshine’s room not long after. Sitting next to Makayla, he placed his hand on her thigh and asked, “Are you okay?”
She nodded, deciding against telling him or anyone else for that matter that she knows her mother wished she was dead instead of Melanie. You’d think the relationship with her mother would have been solid. That Melanie’s death would have somehow pulled them closer. But, the opposite had been the truth. Honestly, Gina already resented Makayla because her birth was the reason her father left. Instead of seeing that as proof of her father’s true colors, she’d blamed Makayla for running away the first man she’d ever been in love with.
“I’m good.” Makayla stood and gave them both a hug. “I’m gonna head out, though. I’ll see y’all later.”
Before she could rush out, Ray stood and grabbed her hand. “You know I’m here for you, right?” Makayla swallowed and stared into his eyes. “I know I’m not your birth father, but I’m here for ya, Mak.”
Smiling with one side of her mouth, she nodded and hugged him. “Thank you,” she whispered before quickly walking out.
The sight of her mother standing at the end of the hall didn’t stop her. Normally, she tried to at least say goodbye, hoping this day would be the day her mother would send her off with love and respect, but she didn’t even have the strength this time around.
As soon as Makayla was in her car, she released a shaky breath and the tears she’d been holding in. With a growl, she punched her thigh six times, needing the pain she felt emotionally to become physical. Because physical pain she could handle, but this heartbreak? Every weekend? Constantly being punctured and wounded?
Nah.
She’d never been able to handle that.
The sound of her phone ringing halted her assault on her thigh, and she was glad because she knew her medium-brown hue would bruise easily, and the last thing she needed was to have to explain to Kannon yet again where the mysterious bruises had come from.
As she wiped her face, confusion covered it at the sight of the name Nixon. It took a few seconds for her to remember that was the guy who’d tried to help her when her tires were slashed. After inhaling a composing breath, she answered with, “Hello?”
“Hey. How are you?”
She smiled softly as she looked back at her mother’s home. “I’m good. How are you?”
“Good. I was wondering if I could take you out this weekend? Get to know you a little better?”
Makayla considered his request for a moment. The blind date her cousins tried to send her on still hadn’t happened, which was understandable. They both had children and busy lives. And on top of that, Makayla had Kannon. She needed to get her mind and heart off him to remember that all they would ever be was just friends.
“Ummm…” Makayla checked the time on her phone. “Are you free now? I live a little outside of Memphis but I’m here now.”
“Yeah. Sure. Where would you like to meet?”
“What part of town are you in? I need a drink.”
Nixon chuckled. “I’m in the East but I can come wherever you are.”
She thought over what was nearby before telling him to meet her at TJ Mulligan’s. The relaxed bar vibe would keep this from feeling too much like a date.
“You should know, I haven’t given a man a chance in a really long time. I might be a little awkward at this.”
“That’s cool. I’m just glad you’re giving me the chance to change that.”
31
Kannon
Makayla said she was okay, but Kannon could tell she was not. That was usually the case after she’d seen her mother. Kannon hated that she allowed Gina to have that kind of power over her, but he understood it. She watched, thighs clenched, as he began to unwind for the day. It never failed, no matter what she was doing, her eyes always found him when he began to prepare to call it a night.
As he took off his jewelry, Kannon looked at Makayla through the dresser mirror. After stretching his necklace and bracelet out on the dresser, he set his ring next to them and did the same with his gun, phone, and wallet. When he turned, Makayla quickly forced her attention elsewhere, making him smile. Kannon took his shoes off and placed them at the edge of her bed as he always did, knowing tonight would be another night that he’d leave instead of being where he wanted to be – in her bed.
“How long you gon’ let her play with your mental?” Kannon checked, slowly walking over to her.
“I’m not.”
He took her hand and led her over to her bed then dressed down to his basketball short
s. While she stood, looking up at him like he was the most magical thing she’d ever seen, Kannon slowly removed the knee length jean shorts and crop top she had on. Leaving her in her white Calvin Klein sports bra and panty set, Kannon helped her get into bed.
“I know you love McDonald’s and shit but since I didn’t know what time you were coming home I got your second favorite.”
Makayla grinned. Her shoulders hiked in excitement as she asked, “Strawberry ice cream?”
“And brownies.”
“Can we watch musicals?”
“However many you’d like.”
With a squeal, Makayla leaned forward to hug his neck. With Kannon was the only time she felt she was able to be one hundred percent herself. And with her son, of course. They were the only two people she’d allow in her presence while she watched her favorite musicals and sang her heart out horribly.
Every time Makayla told Kannon that, he’d feel all soft and mushy on the inside. Tonight was no different. He tried to pay attention to the movies, even though he’d seen them a million times, but Kannon couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He watched her mood go from sad and detached to excited and joyful over the course of several hours. From her singing every song word for word in Dreamgirls to quoting the lines in The Temptations and giving him all the dance moves in Chicago and crying in Sparkle… Makayla had put on a show.
She was tired, visibly, as she snuggled up in his chest as the credits to Sparkle rolled. Kannon sighed, not wanting to leave. Makayla held him tighter, putting her ear at the center of his chest. He wondered if she felt his heart when it skipped a beat as she asked, “Can you stay a little while longer?”
32
Makayla
Kannon didn’t answer right away, but she felt when his heart skipped a beat to the sound of her question. Looking up at him, she smiled as he nodded rapidly.
“Yeah. I can,” he agreed.
Makayla’s hand slid down his frame. He took it into his. Resting her chin on his chest, Makayla looked at him and asked, “Did you tell Jason about us?”
His head shook. “What is there to tell?”
“You don’t think what we have has gone beyond friendship?”
“Do you?”
She shrugged. “I think it has, but I also don’t know where it’s going.”
“Where do you want it to go?”
“It doesn’t matter. What matters is where it can go, and it can’t go very far. Not on your end at least.”
Kannon sat up and rested against the headboard, forcing her to do the same. “What you mean not on my end?”
Makayla’s eyes rolled and she sighed.
“It doesn’t matter how we try to explain what happened between us… that you caught feelings because you’ve taken care of me and Austin for so long and I’ve caught feelings because you’ve taken care of us for so long… people are going to look at us as trifling traitors. Me even more. A nigga can do no wrong these days, but a bitch is always on the chopping block with the quickness.
No one will understand the bond we created and how long we’ve tried to fight it over the years. They will swear we plotted on this moment instead of finally acting on how we feel after five years.
No excuse or reasoning would be justifiable for them. They will swear there are millions of people we could see and that we should have ignored our connection, no matter how hard we were pulled to one another.
And you won’t be able to handle that because you’re too solid. You’re too loyal. You’re too trill. And it will eat you up inside for anyone to question your character and see you as flawed. I won’t give a fuck, but I love you too much to do that to you… especially knowing there’s a chance Jason will no longer want to fuck with you. I mean, it can go either way. He can accept it or reject it, but I don’t want to take that chance. Not for you.”
Kannon remained silent after her spiel.
“You’re right. A lot of mothafuckas won’t understand, but it ain’t for them to comprehend.” Her head lowered, but he lifted it by her chin. “As long as we do and what we got going is genuine and authentic, that’s all that matters to me.”
“And Jason?”
His head tilted before he looked away altogether. “I don’t want to lose my brotha, and if he was out, I wouldn’t even be here.”
“But…”
“He’s gone. And I…” His head shook again, and Makayla hated how at war he was within himself. “I didn’t want to feel this way for you, Makayla.”
“I know,” she agreed, taking his hand into hers.
“But I can’t help it. And a part of me hates him for making me promise to look after you. Because he should have known I wouldn’t be able to be in your life at this capacity and not fall in love with you.” She smiled, and her head hung again as she blushed. “But if he can’t understand that… this is just one time I’ll have to choose to be loyal to myself first. We’ve given so much to and for each other, but you… you’re something I can’t give up.”
“So what are we doing?” Makayla asked.
“I don’t know, but whatever we do, it’s going to be because we want or don’t want to do it. Is that good enough for now?”
With a nod, she nibbled on her lip. “Yeah. I mean, I know you don’t even want anything serious or to have more children…”
“Right, but if I were to get out the business, that would change. I don’t have a reason to get out now, though. But if he leaves or something happens between you and I, I will.”
“Okay. I can accept that for now.”
“Good.”
Kannon pulled her closer, neither in a rush for their lips to connect. They smiled before Kannon licked the center of her lips and sucked the bottom one into his mouth. She melted against him instantly, feeling relief from finally being connected with him again.
He pulled her down flat onto the bed, covering her body with his. She trembled, the anticipation of what would happen next becoming too much. Three years had passed since she’d last been with a man, and for that man to be Kannon? Her eyes opened as she smiled.
“What?” Kannon asked with a soft chuckle.
“Nothing… just…” She shrugged as her smile widened. “I’m just happy to finally be able to experience you in this way.”
Licking his lips, Kannon cupped her neck. “I’m happy to be experiencing you in this way as well.” His thumb caressed her jawline. “No matter what happens between us, Makayla, I will always love you.”
Instead of replying immediately, Makayla allowed his declaration to settle within her heart. “I will always love you.”
Cupping his cheeks, Makayla stared into his eye before kissing the one that was closed. His sharp intake of breath as he grinded against her had Makayla spreading her legs wider. Though she wanted to feel his fingers and mouth all over her again, right now, she wanted to feel his dick more than anything. Having Kannon inside of her had been a dream she didn’t think would ever become a reality.
When Kannon tried to lower himself down her body, she wrapped her legs around him as she whispered, “Please.”
Their tongues swirled around one another as he pushed her panties to the side. She was already so fucking wet, Makayla didn’t want to waste time with foreplay. Her hand did slip between them, though, to feel just how long and thick his dick was. As she ran her hand up and down his curved shaft Makayla moaned quietly.
Kannon gently pushed her hand away, putting himself at her opening as she sucked his tongue. Makayla broke their kiss to confess quietly, “It’s been a really long time.”
He smiled. “I’ll be gentle.”
“Just at first.”
He chuckled before lowering himself to her neck as he slowly began to press himself inside of her. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she inhaled a deep breath. It felt like her virginity was being taken all over again. But he was going so slow. Being so soft. And gentle.
Kannon was so long and thick, she felt a pleasurable sting as he stretched h
er. Still, it felt like instinct to push him away and squirm.
“Don’t run from me,” he ordered breathlessly. “I need you to take all this dick.”
With one swift motion, Kannon shoved all of his shaft inside of her, forcing her to cry out.
“Damn,” he whispered, staying still to give them both time to adjust.
As he slowly began to work his way in and out of her, she trembled underneath him, moaning before biting down on his shoulder. The more he moaned about her being a good girl and taking his dick the wetter her pussy grew. Adjusting to his groove, Makayla opened her legs wider to take more of him in. Her middle and ring fingers went to her clit, used to being the cause of her orgasms.
Gripping her hands, Kannon promised, “You don’t need to do that. I’ma make you cum without your help.”
“Is that right?” she asked, loving the feel of his hands on her wrists as he deepened his strokes.
“Hell yeah. All I need you to do is lay there and look pretty while you take this dick.”
And that’s exactly what she did. Kannon was able to maintain his composure fairly well. But eventually, his dirty talk was replaced with moans and heavy breathing as he lost himself in her. Eyes locked, they tongue kissed until her body began to heat. Back arched, Makayla pulled away to look down at their connection. It felt like all of her love was being poured out onto him.
“What you doin’?” he asked with a cocky smile.
“I’m about to cum,” she confessed before inhaling a sizzling breath. “Ooh,” she moaned, gripping his thighs as their eyes locked. “I’m about to cum,” she repeated three more times before her body convulsed.
Her orgasm made more room for him. And with that first one out of the way, Makayla was prepared to fuck him back. He teased her about being ready to show out as she began to roll and rotate her hips to match his strokes. The friction had them both moaning and groaning as they created a mess in the center of her bed.